CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – There are certain things in life you can always count on. The sun rises in the east. Taxes are due in April. And whenever LEG ventures to Dibble’s house, something ridiculous is bound to happen.
To Dibble’s credit, this week’s gathering was relatively tame by his standards. Nobody stripped naked and played cornhole in the rain. There was no Great Fajita Disaster. Nobody skinny-dipped in the garage hot tub and streamed PornHub.
However, Dibble did greet the league after waking up just 90 minutes before the first bags were scheduled to fly, attempting to sleep off his hangover from a three-day bender. Most people would combat that kind of hangover with water and electrolytes.
Dibble chose another pour of bourbon.
Then there was the matter of Melissa, which nearly required a call to the Clawson Police Department for aggravated assault. Melissa treated Mike like he owed her money.
Melissa squared off against Mike three different times and handily won every encounter.
The opening act came in Game 2. After spotting Mike (and his team) an early advantage, Melissa calmly settled into rhythm, outscored him the rest of the way and helped steer her team to a comfortable 21-13 victory.
That doesn’t sound bad, right? Things got uglier from there.
Game 5 featured a court loaded with talent—KP, Nick and Mike V.—yet Melissa was unquestionably the best player not wearing underwear (ask her about it). She exploded for a jaw-dropping 8.25 points per round, outscored Mike 33-20 and led her team to a 21-5 dismantling.
By Game 8, the beatdowns had become routine. Paired with Nick against KP and Mike, Melissa again posted the highest PPR on the court (6.6), outscored Mike 46-33 and cruised to another convincing 21-8 victory.
When the bruises were finally counted, Melissa had outscored Mike V. 104-85 across the three games while averaging 5.8 PPR to Mike’s 4.7. She buried 27 cornholes compared to Mike’s 18, effectively turning him into her personal punching bag.
Her domination of Mike set the tone for one of the finest nights of her LEG career. Melissa finished 5-1 while posting an 18.2 KPM—one of the Top 5 performers of the evening and the best mark of her career.
GAME OF THE NIGHT
This week’s Game of the Night belonged to the Petoskeys, led by Nick and Paul, taking on Joe and Matt H.’s Anchormen.
Early on, it looked like the Petoskeys were about to make quick work of the Anchormen.
Nick caught fire, hanging 11 points on Joe while helping his team race out to a commanding 14-3 advantage.
The Anchormen staged one of the wildest comebacks of the season.
Joe and Matt H. responded with a staggering 24-1 run over the final eight rounds – one of the more impressive momentum swings of the season – turning what looked like certain defeat into a 21-15 victory. (For those scoring at home, it was really a 27-15 beatdown that seems less bad because we log the winning score at 21 points.)
The final dagger came courtesy of Joe, who delivered a walk-off four-bagger against Nick, winning their individual battle 12-3 and sending the Petoskeys to the sideline wondering what in the hell had just happened.
The collapse is another choke for Paul this season. Thankfully for him, team chokes aren’t officially tracked…
…yet.
MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT
Yes, the easy answer would be Melissa spending the entire evening introducing Mike V.’s forehead to the business end of a mushroom stamp.
But we’ve already piled on Mike enough for one week.
Instead, we’ll go with Game 15.
Facing Nick and Dibble, the husband-and-wife duo of Joe and Melissa pulled off one of the night’s biggest upsets. Melissa was once again sensational, leading everyone on the court with a 7.1 PPR while clinching the game-winning points on a 9-7 round over Dibble, sending Nick and Dibble home with an unexpected loss, 21-10.
By night’s end, Melissa had embarrassed Mike V., tormented her opponents, survived Dibble’s bourbon-fueled hospitality and LOUDLY assembled the best statistical performance of her LEG career.
This week’s box score is below.
| Week 7 Power Rank | Name | Week 7 Wins | Week 7 Losses | Week 7 Win % | Week 7 Saves | Week 7 Chokes | Week 7 Comebacks | Week 7 KPM | Week 7 Gross Points Per Round | Week 7 Toss Accruacy | Week 7 Cornholes Per Round | Week 7 Cornholes | Week 7 Cornholes Per Game | Week 7 Gross Points | Week 7 Gross Points Per Game | Week 7 Net Points For | Week 7 Net Points Against | Week 7 Net Points For Per Game | Week 7 Net Points Against Per Game | Week 7 Net Point Differential | Week 7 Foot Snags |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | KP | 5 | 2 | 71% | 4 | - | - | 22.4 | 6.9 | 82% | 1.8 | 82 | 11.7 | 311 | 44.4 | 131 | 80 | 18.7 | 11.4 | 7.3 | 0 |
| 2 | Joe S. | 6 | 1 | 86% | 5 | - | - | 21.8 | 6.7 | 78% | 1.8 | 90 | 12.9 | 336 | 48.0 | 138 | 81 | 19.7 | 11.6 | 8.1 | 0 |
| 3 | Dibble | 0 | 3 | 0% | - | - | - | 19.7 | 6.0 | 68% | 1.7 | 48 | 16.0 | 175 | 58.3 | 41 | 63 | 13.7 | 21.0 | (7.3) | 0 |
| 4 | Austin | 5 | 2 | 71% | 5 | - | - | 18.5 | 5.8 | 76% | 1.4 | 62 | 8.9 | 261 | 37.3 | 118 | 91 | 16.9 | 13.0 | 3.9 | 0 |
| 5 | Melissa | 5 | 1 | 83% | 5 | - | - | 18.2 | 5.7 | 77% | 1.3 | 52 | 8.7 | 224 | 37.3 | 107 | 66 | 17.8 | 11.0 | 6.8 | 0 |
| 6 | Nick | 2 | 4 | 33% | 2 | - | - | 17.7 | 5.6 | 75% | 1.3 | 49 | 8.2 | 212 | 35.3 | 70 | 94 | 11.7 | 15.7 | (4.0) | 0 |
| 7 | Matt H. | 0 | 4 | 0% | - | - | - | 16.5 | 5.3 | 81% | 1.0 | 28 | 7.0 | 144 | 36.0 | 48 | 84 | 12.0 | 21.0 | (9.0) | 0 |
| 8 | Paul G. | 5 | 2 | 71% | 4 | - | - | 15.1 | 5.0 | 80% | 0.9 | 40 | 5.7 | 228 | 32.6 | 133 | 96 | 19.0 | 13.7 | 5.3 | 0 |
| 9 | Mike V. | 3 | 4 | 43% | 1 | - | - | 14.5 | 4.7 | 75% | 0.9 | 44 | 6.3 | 240 | 34.3 | 94 | 125 | 13.4 | 17.9 | (4.4) | 0 |
| 10 | Flowers | 1 | 3 | 25% | - | - | - | 13.7 | 4.5 | 74% | 0.8 | 26 | 6.5 | 153 | 38.3 | 59 | 82 | 14.8 | 20.5 | (5.8) | 0 |
| 11 | Mike R. | 0 | 6 | 0% | - | - | - | 13.2 | 4.3 | 65% | 0.8 | 30 | 5.0 | 154 | 25.7 | 49 | 126 | 8.2 | 21.0 | (12.8) | 0 |