SOUTHFIELD, MICHIGAN – Dibble had himself a night this week, scoring 6.4 points per round and 1.74 cornholes per round while shooting 74%. He scored three 12-point rounds and three 10-point rounds this week. Add it all up and it yielded a 20.9 KPM, jumping him from #3 to #1 in the young season Power Rankings.

And boy did the rest of the league hear about it. Shortly after the updated Power Rankings and statistics were posted to the league website, Dibble sent a screen shot, taunting the group with his name atop the rankings.

Give credit where it’s due, his 20.9 KPM this week and 19.8 KPM overall are undoubtedly impressive. But it’s a long season, and boasting about being #1 in the Power Rankings when there are four months remaining in the season is akin to celebrating on the sidelines when there’s 10 seconds left in the football game and your team still has to execute a punt…

God help us if Dibble ever wins a tournament because we’ll never hear the end of it.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Speaking of never hearing the end of it, the bromance continued this week with Dibble and Brent slurping each other up all night. Dibble and Brent have each played 13 and 14 total games this season, respectively, and eight of their games have been as partners.

Encouraging them to “get a room” would be an understatement – the group was fearful we’d have to take cover while these two recreated the lift scene from Dirty Dancing in Brent’s pool.

“Heeeeeeeey, hey baby! I wanna know, if you’ll be my girl.”

Dibble, without hesitation, “Yes!”

Game 3 featured The Ambiguously Gay Duo against Galz and KP. In what appears to be their new pre-game ritual, Ace and Gary…errr…Dibble and Brent gathered at midcourt and summoned powerful cornhole skills from their “lightsaber,” which I’m still convinced is a double-dong dildo.

Early on, the double-dong prayers didn’t appear to help as both players were shooting blanks. They quickly found themselves down 13 – 4 after two innings.

But then Dibble exploded with a 6 – 0 advantage in the top of the third inning, bringing his team within four points, 14 – 10.  After exchanging a few points in the fourth inning, it was 16 – 11 in favor of KP and Galz.

Cue some Dibble heroics – he sank three cornholes in the fifth inning, securing a 9 – 3 advantage and propelling his team to a 17 – 16 lead. KP tied it at 17 – 17, but missed a push shot that could have won the game had he hit it.

In the top of the sixth, Dibble delivered the money shot. He drained three cornholes and added another bag on the board for 10 points, overwhelming Galz 10 – 4 to win the match 21 – 17. Dibble was visibly excited, quickly slapping hands with his opponent before embracing his partner with celebration.

As he squeezed Brent, the group overhead Dibble’s failed whispers of sweet nothings – “I don’t wanna spit, I wanna gulp. I wanna gag, I wanna choke. I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swings in the back of my throat.”

Okay, those are actually Cardi B lyrics, but you can imagine what it’d be like if Dibble really said that. Right?

Really, though, the two hopped in their cock car and threw themselves a celebratory parade.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

We might as well stay on theme, this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) also involves Dibble and Brent. This time, they were head-to-head…no, they weren’t “docking”! Pull your head out of the gutter!

In Game 9, Dibble and Erik had Brent and JV on the ropes with a 17 – 8 lead. Dibble, trying his best to impress his butt-buddy, hit three cornholes in the fifth inning and Brent couldn’t handle this stud (don’t worry, he tried again later in the evening), only scoring one point. The 9 – 1 round clinched a 21 – 8 victory for Dibble and Erik, and gives Dibble this week’s MSM!

NEWS AND NOTES

• Turley had a nice week, scoring four 10-point rounds on his way to a 16.5 KPM, 5.3 points per round, 1.13 cornholes per round and 75% shooting. Excellent numbers for him, which unfortunately did not produce victories – he finished with a 2 – 6 record. Nonetheless, he appears in the Power Rankings for the first time this season, entering at #4
• Brent was leap-frogged by his boyfriend in the Power Rankings, falling from #1 to #3. His individual metrics fell short of his high ceiling (15.2 KPM, 4.9 points per round, 1.02 cornholes per round, and 71% accuracy), yet he still won games, evidenced by his 5 – 2 record. He can thank Dibble for that
• JV had a steady night, shooting 71% and scoring 4.9 points per round…much better than last week’s 49% and 4.3 points per round. His 15.5 week 2 KPM helped him jump from #7 to #5 in the Power Rankings
• Erik fell from #4 to #7 in the Power Rankings, despite playing pretty well! He had a 4 – 3 record while producing a 14.1 KPM thanks to 67% shooting, 0.92 cornholes per round and 4.5 points per round
• Galz had arguably his roughest week ever – 13.9 KPM, 4.4 points per round and 0.89 cornholes per round on 64% shooting. Maybe it’s because his pink eye settled down, or maybe he was overwhelmed by the male erotica. I don’t expect him to stay down for long
• KP logged a 20.1 KPM, 6.3 points per round and 1.52 cornholes per round on 82% shooting, all of which contributed to a 6 – 2 record

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – The week following a tournament typically feels like a hangover. The players are moving slow, the energy is low, and the environment is just a little sleepy.

Week 1 wasn’t much different, with player after player filing up the driveway, as if they were doing the “walk of shame”…until Dibble showed up. The guy was bouncing off the walls, “I missed you guys! I missed this!”

And then when Brent arrived and Dibble realized there was a new addition to the league, which means an opportunity for a new best friend, he was like a rescue dog vying for attention from a prospective family – tail wagging, jumping up and down, “Pick me! Pick me!”

His injection of energy was just what the doctor ordered.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Dibble brought that energy to the Game of the Night, where he partnered with his new best friend, Brent. Really, they are best friends. Of the 12 games in week 1, Dibble latched on to Brent in four of those games (insert laughing emoji).

Their Game 6 opponents were Galz and KP, who took an early 7 – 0 lead after the top of the first inning. The besties shook off their opponent’s quick start and put together their own 19 – 1 run, giving them a 19 – 8 lead. During that stretch, Dibble score nine points against Galz, while Brent posted 10 points against KP, powered by a 10 – 5 advantage in the top of the sixth inning.

KP encouraged Galz, reminding his partner that the game doesn’t start until a “choke” is in play (i.e., one team holds a 10+ point advantage and must close the game). Galz savors opportunities like this, and promptly responded with two points to close the deficit to 19 – 10.

It was KP’s turn to put up or shut up. He delivered a four-bagger, while Brent managed just three points. A 12 – 3 win in the top of the seventh inning knotted the game at 19 – 19 **AND** positioned Galz to clinch the match by completing the “comeback” (and securing a “choke” for Dibble and Brent).

Galz and Dibble both threw cornholes with their first two bags. Clutch performances in a tense moment. Galz’s third bag missed long and right, but stayed on the board for a 7 – 6 advantage. Dibble applied pressure with a third straight cornhole, requiring Galz to score on his final bag to keep the game alive. Galz always goes down swinging, and played for the cornhole. His bag was a little too firm and skipped over the hole, falling off the back of the board.

The game was over, and Dibble missed an irrelevant airmail attempt. His 9 – 7 advantage was enough to win, 21 – 19, and the friendship strengthened.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT (“MSM”)

The first MSM of the 2022 season belongs to JV. In Game 10, JV threw a perfect block with his first bag of the round. Barker navigated it perfectly, slipping his bag around the block and into the hole. Without hesitation, JV threw an airmail and hit it!

Barker missed long off the back with his second bag.

JV immediately hit another airmail, leaving his blocker in place.

Barker again missed off the back.

JV went up again, draining a third consecutive airmail, leaving his blocker for Barker to contemplate.

Barker’s last bag was off the back again, unable to navigate the laundry on the board.

JV won the round 10 – 3, which gave his team a 12 – 4 lead and broke the game open. He and Erik finished the job, winning easily, 21 – 7. He played the round perfectly with a block, airmail, airmail, airmail. That’s professional-level cornhole, which is why he earns this week’s mushroom stamp moment.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Brent reinforced his championship performance by earning the top spot in the Power Rankings this week and had a +12.1 point differential for the night (i.e., averaged wins of 21 – 9). His 19.7 KPM, 6.1 points per round, 71% accuracy, 1.62 cornholes per round, and 7 – 0 record were dominant. He added five 10-point rounds and two 12-point rounds to his week 1 resume
• Dibble avoided having Brent FOMO and kept pace with an 18.3 KPM, 5.7 points per round, 71% accuracy, 1.43 cornholes per round, and 4 – 2 record (all four wins were as Brent’s partner). Impressive numbers under any circumstance, but especially so considering the long layoff he’s had
• JV was great in earning the MSM, but his numbers are head-scratching – his 14.1 KPM is good. But he pulled that off on just 49% accuracy, which is sub-par. JV was basically boom (cornhole) or bust (errant shot) all night, but his “booms” sure were amazing
• Barker somehow went 0 – 5 despite putting up good numbers – 14.5 KPM, 73% KPM, 4.7 points per round, and a 12-point round. His biggest downfall was “only” hitting 0.88 cornholes per game. Nonetheless, the donut in win column was shocking and unusual. Don’t get used to that
• Erik dropped a 12-point round, which helped him to a 14.7 KPM (#4 in the Power Rankings), 4.7 points per round, 65% accuracy, 1.03 cornholes per round, and 2 – 3 record. This is a great start to the 2022 campaign, showing Erik continues to build on the growth he’s demonstrated the last few seasons
• Galz went 2 – 5 overall with a 14.2 KPM, 64% accuracy and 4.5 points per round. His 0.98 cornholes per round was un-Galz-like, but expect that number to rise as the season progresses
• Paul was last in this week’s Power Rankings at #8, but his numbers were good! He continues to increase his accuracy, shooting 63% this week. He also hit 0.88 cornholes per round and 4.3 points per round, earning a 13.3 KPM and 3 – 3 record. Paul also outscored his opponent head-to-head in four of his six matches
• KP finished second in the Power Rankings this week with an 18.4 KPM. He also averaged 5.8 points per round, 76% accuracy, 1.38 cornholes per round and produced a 4 – 3 record. He also recorded two 10-point rounds and two 12-point rounds

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – There are new sheriffs in town, and their rule of law could get ugly for the citizens of LEG.

Brent A. (we’ll just call him Brent from now on) and Turley were paired through the blind draw, forming “Hole Bangers” and becoming one of the obvious contenders to win the 2022 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament.

Though “Hole Bangers” looked like a super team on paper, there were still some questions surrounding their team.

• Even though he immediately jumps to the top of the talent pool, how would Brent handle his first tournament?
• Turley won the 2021 Postseason Tournament, but did so paired with Nick, who is a championship veteran. Could Turley be the leader of a championship squad for the first time in his career?
• Turley openly admits to being a basket case, particularly in close end-of-game situations. Can he overcome that, or will it hinder his team’s ability to claim The Cup?

The questions were legitimate. The answers were undisputed. “Hole Bangers” stomped their way to a 2022 Preseason Kick-Off championship, losing only one game all day – a 21 – 17 nail-biter during the round robin session to “Mol-Ester” (JV and Erik).

Brent claims he needs 50 throws to get loose and find his groove. In other words, the best chance to beat him is to catch him early before he finds his rhythm and confidence. “Mol-Ester” executed that strategy perfectly in round robin play, but no other team in the field could do so. Brent hit his stride, Turley flashed his improving game from an offseason of hard work, and the dynamic duo coasted to a title.

HOW THEY GOT THERE

“Hole Bangers’” lone blemish during round robin cost them the #1 seed, which was earned by the undefeated “Pink-Eyed Strippers” (Galz and Scott). Landing on the #2 seed only fueled their fire, as they donkey punched “Butt Jam” (Paul and Bushie) 21 – 0, rolled “Big Bush, Long Wood” (Barker and David) 21 – 7, and then exacted revenge on “Mol-Ester” in the third round, 21 – 12, sending “Mol-Ester” to the losers’ bracket gauntlet.

“Hole Bangers” punched their ticket to the championship match by defeating “Mol-Ester” for a second consecutive game, 21 – 16. JV and Erik hung tougher in this rubber match, but didn’t quite have enough ammunition to overcome the fire Brent and Turley were throwing.

That was an enormous victory because “Hole Bangers” remained undefeated in a triple elimination format, meaning their opponent would have to beat them three consecutive times in the championship match. The Cup engraving was almost a certainty at that point, with the only potential derailment being a waiting period filled with booze and rust accumulation.

The prize was too grand for complacency and carelessness to creep into the equation on this day, and “Hole Bangers” clinched their title with little drama, handling “Pink-Eyed Strippers” in Game 1 of the title showdown, 21 – 13.

LOSERS’ BRACKET CHAOS

The losers’ bracket is not the place to be. As you read this, you’re probably thinking “No shit, Sherlock.” But beyond the obvious, it’s also become a swimming pool full of sharks. Every game is a grind against a team capable of making a deep tournament run. It wasn’t always that way. Let’s dive into the shark tank and analyze all the teams who found themselves on the longer path back to the title match.

“Pink-Eyed Strippers” (Galz and Scott G.) – #1 Seed

I already spoiled the suspense by disclosing “Pink-Eyed Strippers” lost in the championship match, meaning they fought their way through, and emerged from, the losers’ bracket. But that doesn’t begin to tell the story of this team. First of all, Galz probably should have been on injured reserve because his eye was swollen shut. A lesson for the kids at home, don’t allow strippers to pee on your face without protection. Always wear a dental dam! I actually don’t know what a dental dam is, but I’m sure it prevents urine-based eye infections.

With three “good” eyes, these two earned the #1 seed and looked the part by dismantling #8 seeded “Stosh” (Josh Turley and Steve-O) 21 – 6 in the first round. But a 21 – 17 loss to #4 seeded “Mol-Ester” in the second round, followed by a 21 – 15 loss to “The Aces” (Jack and Nick) plummeted the top seed to the bottom left corner of the bracket.

On the brink of elimination and staring down the longest possible road back to the championship, “Pink-Eyed Strippers” relaxed and let it flow, ripping off five consecutive victories to reach the championship. That stretch included revenge wins over “Mol-Ester” and “The Aces” and only one of the five wins was decided by less than 10 points.

The rollercoaster ride was wild, but they ultimately ended up where they should have – in the title match. Unfortunately their untimely losses and five-game grind might have cost them a legitimate chance to win the whole thing. However, a runner-up finish is nothing to be ashamed of and both Scott and Galz played exceptional cornhole throughout the tournament.

“Big Bush Long Wood” (Barker and David) – #3 Seed

Barker’s championship DNA is nearly unmatched with his three titles and three runner-up finishes; and, he entered the tournament on a heater – he’s played at a higher level in unsanctioned events throughout the winter and early spring.

Though David is a rookie, he’s no stranger to the game and he’s an athlete with a fierce competitive streak. In his spare time you’ll find him starting fights in beer league hockey games, including with his opponent’s fat ugly girlfriend sitting in the bleachers. He also loves smoking any kind of meat he can get his hands on, and even loves to cook a little bit too!

This pair looked dangerous early, but things took a drastic turn for the worst after a fantastic first round victory over #6 seeded “The Aces”. They took one on the chin, losing 21 – 7 to “Hole Bangers,” rebounded with an easy win over #7 seeded “Butt Jam” and then bowed out of the tournament as a victim of “Pink-Eyed Strippers” run through the losers’ bracket.

An early exit and 2 – 2 record is not what they envisioned. To their credit, they collected themselves and won the Toilet Bowl Championship by knocking off “Guess Who’s Back, Back Again?” (21 – 13) and “Stosh” (21 – 4). Winning the Toilet Bowl Championship may not make your trousers move, but there are worse things than being the Toilet Bowl champs. If you’re playing for something, no matter what it is, you want to win. Credit to Barker and David for getting the job done, despite feeling disappointed about being there.

“Mol-Ester” (JV and Erik) – #4 Seed

The only team all day to defeat the champs! Unfortunately it was during the round robin session and not bracket play. They should be proud of their third place finish, which included great wins over “Guess Who’s Back, Back Again?” (21 – 20), “Pink-Eyed Strippers” (21 – 17), and “The Aces” (21 – 20). As you can see, all of their tournament wins were down to the wire…exactly how JV wants it! Keep things close, then Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn sprints out of the bullpen to put the game away.

David experienced the JV closing effect up close and personal in round robin. “Big Bush Long Wood” had an 18 – 15 lead over “Mol-Ester” when the bags turned over to JV vs. David. Both players littered the board with blockers after their first two bags.

David’s third bag missed the board, giving JV an opportunity for points. JV’s third bag launched high and deep, clearing the pile of blockers for an airmail!

For the first time, David faced adversity and tried to steady his nerves. His final bag also missed the board. JV held a 5 – 2 advantage in the round and knew a cornhole would give him an 8 – 2 advantage, and his team a 21 – 18 win. He launched again, and hit nothing but net! Airmail for the win!

David turned to JV, “Are you fucking kidding me?” JV smiled and sheepishly shook David’s hand. Welcome to the league, rookie.

“Mol-Ester” was unbelievable in close matches, and provided the stiffest test to “Hole Bangers”. They played well enough to win a title, which has to sting knowing they came up just a bit short.

“Guess Who’s Back, Back Again?” (Coach Mike and KP) – #5 Seed

Coach and KP were excited to join forces again, after feeling as though they underperformed as partners in the 2021 Postseason Tournament. Well, here they were again, underperforming. In the first round, they held a 15 – 8 lead over “Mol-Ester” but failed to close and lost the match 21 – 20.

After a 21 – 5 win over “Stosh” in the losers’ bracket, “Guess Who’s Back” secured a big win over “Big Bush Long Wood” (21 – 17), but couldn’t measure up against “The Aces” (lost 21 – 12) or “Pink-Eyed Strippers” (lost 21 – 15) – the latter eliminated them, flushinh them to the Toilet Bowl Championship, where they lost to “Big Bush Long Wood” (21 – 13) in a revenge match.

Coach Mike played the role he needed to, which was to play his opponent to a draw and hope KP could deliver the scoring blows at the other end of the boards. Sadly for Coach Mike, he didn’t get the version of KP necessary to make a deep run.

Upon elimination, both players were disappointed and apologetic to one another. “I want to win a championship with you,” KP poured out to Coach. That’s a heart-warming thought, but reality is harsh. KP started this league in 2016 and has won only one title, and we’re three years removed from that (2019 Postseason Tournament). At some point, you need to deliver or accept your backseat to the actual top players in the league.

“The Aces” (Nick and Jack) – #6 Seed

Landing as the #6 seed was a surprise to everyone. Any team with Nick is a threat to win the whole thing, and Jack has been part of multiple teams who have played deep into past tournaments. The fact they were in the bottom half of seeding should serve as additional evidence of how talented the rest of the field is.

Once seeding was revealed, their opponent (#3 seed “Big Bush Long Wood”) was not thrilled about the draw. Barker turned in disgust, “We have to play Nick? Great.” In fact, that match-up wasn’t great for “The Aces” – they were routed, 21 – 7.

In the losers’ bracket, “The Aces” strung together three consecutive wins over “Butt Jam” (21 – 7), “Pink-Eyed Strippers” (21 – 15), and “Guess Who’s Back” (21 – 12). In a crucial losers’ bracket match with the winner advancing for a semifinal match against “Hole Bangers,” they added their name to the list of teams who couldn’t make plays down the stretch to win a close game against “Mol-Ester,” losing 21 – 20.

They were eliminated in their next game after running into the buzz saw named “Pink-Eyed Strippers” (“The Aces” lost 21 – 5).

For the first time since 2019, the championship team did not include Nick. That’s a dominating statistic, and one Jack wished hadn’t come to an end. Nonetheless, “The Aces” outperformed their #6 seed by finishing in fourth place.

“Butt Jam” (Bushie and Paul) – #7 Seed

Where to begin? First, why do Bushie’s team names usually revolve around ass?

• “Dirty Butt” in the 2017 Postseason Tournament
• “Butt Plugs” in the 2019 Postseason Tournament
• “Pull & Tug Brothers” in the 2020 Postseason Tournament (okay, technically not ass-related, but…)
• “Double Dildos” in the 2021 Preseason Kick-Off
• And now…”Butt Jam”

Keep in mind, he’s also missed four or five of the tournaments since 2016…

Secondly, as soon as the blind draw selected Paul and Bushie as partners, Bushie wanted to take his ball and go home. He loudly offered to trade partners with JV (i.e., swap Paul for Erik). The funny thing is, Bushie and Paul partnered as “Pull & Tug Brothers” and finished runners-up in the 2020 Postseason Tournament. So, they’ve had success together in the past. But, this day was doomed from the start.

They won only one game all day, a 21 – 20 round robin escape over “Stosh,” who finished as the bottom seed (more to come on them later). A dreadful 1 – 6 record across round robin, bracket play and the Toilet Bowl Championship is the perfect reflection of how this day started for “Butt Jam”…a player not embracing his partner and openly expressing that to the group.

Maybe the ass-themed team names are an obsession. Maybe they are a personification.

Poor Paul. He deserved better.

“Stosh” (Steve-O and Josh Turley) – #8 Seed

No matter which way you slice it, there are always going to be a few teams eliminated with an 0 – 3 record. Hell, the #1 seed in this tournament nearly hit that mark. “Stosh” was one of those teams in this tournament.

Though their games don’t appear to be competitive on the scoreboard, they made their opponents grind for victories – they weren’t losing games in three or four rounds. The 1 – 7 record covering the entire day is painful, but somewhat expected given Josh is a rookie and Steve-O was looking down from space, watching himself play cornhole most of the day.

Their tournament was also better than “Butt Jam’s” – they played hard, laughed, had fun, and stuck together. Ultimately that approach paid off by snapping a six-game losing streak with a Toilet Bowl semifinal win over “Butt Jam” (21 – 16).

Steve-O is a two-time champion. But he’s an all-time dude. Win or lose, he’s always laughing, vibing to the music, or hanging on for dear life as his rocket ship races to Mars. Though it wasn’t a successful pairing in the win-loss column, it was the perfect pairing to welcome Josh to the league. That’s how it should be.

ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM

The top four players receiving votes from the rest of the group were named to the 2022 Preseason All-Tournament Team.

JV helped lead “Mol-Ester” to a semifinal appearance and third place finish, earning him a spot on the All-Tournament Team for the fifth time in his career!

Scott was exceptional all day, earning his “Pink-Eyed Strippers” team the #1 seed in the tournament and digging them out of an 0 – 2 start to bracket play, only to rip off five straight victories before falling just short in the championship. His resilience and mental toughness was a key factor to his team’s success, and the rest of the players recognized that by voting him to the All-Tournament Team – the second of his career.

Turley was named to the All-Tournament Team for the second time in his career, including for the second consecutive tournament. This wasn’t a rubber stamped vote because he was on the title winning team. Turley was the perfect Robin in his dynamic duo, rounding out a squad that was almost untouchable.

Speaking of untouchable, Brent was a unanimous MVP of this tournament and represents the final member of the All-Tournament Team. Many rookies struggle, particularly in their first tournament, because the marathon of the day and pressure of each match becomes overwhelming. But none of that bothered Brent on this day. He was confident in his game, and trusted the best player (him) on the best team (his) would win in the end.

Congratulations to Brent on his first MVP, and to JV, Scott and Turley for their All-Tournament Team honors.

 

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – The sixth season of LEG is drawing to a close, and the 2021 Postseason Tournament has the makings of being the best grand finale yet. On Tuesday night we held a Zoom call to conduct the blind draw in advance of the tournament, only the second time we’ve done it this way. All teams now have approximately 10 days to strategize, but more importantly, choose their team name and coordinate their Halloween costume with one another.

In this article we’ll breakdown all the teams and offer a preview of the Postseason Tournament.

BLIND DRAW

This year’s blind draw was unique because we gave all 18 players one ping pong ball each, rather than giving more ping pong balls (and thus, higher odds) to lower ranked players like we have in the past. The table below summarizes the teams for the 2021 Postseason Tournament.

Team	Player 1	Player 2
Team 1	Dibble	Erik
Team 2	KP	Coach Mike
Team 3	Ray	Galz
Team 4	JV	Thomas
Team 5	Bushie	Paul
Team 6	Scott	Matt
Team 7	Barker	Brendan
Team 8	Jack	Bob
Team 9	Turley	Nick

DIVING DEEPER

Team 1 – #2 Dibble and #10 Erik

Dibble burst onto the scene in 2019, running a train through the league by winning the Singles Tournament and intimidating all the players along the way. Since then, he’s been searching for tournament success and would probably admit to being disappointed in the way he’s played in tournaments the last few years. However, he’s clearly one of the most talented players in the league, capable of carrying anyone to a title.

Erik is arguably the most improved player from the last few seasons. His teams finished runners-up in the 2020 and 2021 Preseason Kick-Off Tournaments, where he also earned All-Tournament Team honors, including the 2021 Tournament MVP. Erik is the second-most accurate player (73%), so you know he’ll score. The X-factor is if Erik’s cornhole rate goes up. If it does, his 4.3 gross points per round could jump closer to 6.0 gross points per round, making this team extremely difficult to beat.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: There is a lot to like about this team, and I’d consider them a heavyweight in this field. Definitely a contender.

Team 2 – #3 KP and #15 Coach Mike

During the blind draw KP praised Coach Mike for throwing well at a recent Michigan State tailgate, and said he could be dangerous in the tournament if he continues to play at that level. Sure enough, KP drew Coach Mike as his partner moments later.

This team’s success comes down to two things:

• Can KP avoid the Postseason Tournament letdown in 2021? In 2020 he won the Singles Tournament over Nick in dramatic fashion, but failed to handle the emotional high and target on his back during the 2020 Postseason Tournament. He defended his title by winning the 2021 Singles Tournament. Can he grow from his 2020 experience and have the poise to navigate a deep tournament field?
• Coach Mike’s back-handed taint tickler. Is it back? Does he throw it consistently? He was on fire in the Singles Tournament before having to leave early, and has continued to look like his old self as this season has progressed.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: This team will be overflowing with chemistry, which is always a great starting point for a partnership. If the dangerous Coach Mike shows up, and KP brings his A-game, this team could compete. Watch them as a dark horse.

Team 3 – #4 Galz and Ray (Unranked)

Don’t let the fact that Ray is unranked fool you. He didn’t play in 2021. Based on his 2020 performance (14.5 KPM), he’d be ranked #6 in 2021. Ray is also a horse shoe player, which translates nicely to cornhole. Ray can play…very well.

Galz almost always makes noise in tournaments, and is one of the few players in the league you can count on to deliver when his back is against the wall. Case in point, he often “waits” for the other team to build a 10+ point lead in matches, just so he can mount a comeback and hand the opponent a “choke”. Galz won the 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament and has finished runner-up in two Singles Tournaments (2018 and 2019). In other words, he knows what it takes to survive and advance.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: This squad is LEGIT – #4 and essentially #6? They are not only a contender, they might be the favorite to win The Cup.

Team 4 – #8 JV and #18 Thomas

If anyone can carry a partner to a championship, it’s JV. He did it twice with Barker, and has two runner-up finishes as well (Erik and Humberto were partners in the two runner-up finishes). JV is also the best closer in the league – he not only hits clutch shots, he *wants* to take the clutch shot. That mentality isn’t for everyone, which is why he distinguishes himself from most of the other players.

The challenge for JV in this tournament will be Thomas. No disrespect to Thomas, but he’s a rookie and not many rookies are successful in their first tournament. It’s hard to navigate the gauntlet.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: Thomas has been known to play in several leagues and tournaments outside of LEG. If he has been playing the last month, those reps could pay off for him and his team because all of LEG has been on a five week (or more) hiatus due to various factors. If other players are rusty enough to be a notch below their normal selves and Thomas has picked his game up a bit from when we last saw him, this team could play a spoiler role in this tournament. That said, I think this team will struggle with some of the heavyweights, so I have to call them a pretender.

Team 5 – #7 Bushie and #13 Paul

This duo reunites just one year later, after they finished runner-up in the 2020 Postseason Tournament as the “Pull N’ Tug Brothers”. Both players have improved their game since last year’s second place finish, so it’s possible they make another deep run.

Maybe more interesting than their tournament performance is how they’ll top last year’s team name. “The Ambiguously Gay Duo”? “Karma Chameleon”? “Who’s in My Mouth”? “Bob Kraft’s Backroom Bandits”? The suspense is killing me!

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: Despite their sensational 2020 Postseason Tournament performance, this team is a dark horse in this tournament. On paper, there are just too many other teams I’d rank ahead of them (Dibble and Erik, Galz and Ray, Turley and Nick, and Barker and Brendan), which prevents them from jumping into the contender status.

Team 6 – Scott (Unranked) and #17 Matt

Scott is a former champion, winning the 2018 Postseason Tournament, and he also has two runner-up finishes (2017 and 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournaments, respectively). Scott is ready for another deep tournament run, but will he get enough help from his partner?

Matt, like Thomas, faces the uphill challenge of being a rookie. He has shown flashes of his potential in 2021, while also having some low moments, like his week 3 bun run with Coach Mike.

I like Scott’s game a lot, and always feel like he’ll have his team in the running for a championship. It’s very clear that this team’s success hinges on Matt.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: History tells us this team should be a pretender because no rookie has ever won a doubles tournament championship. Is this the year, and the team, to break history? It’s possible, but also hard to imagine given the talent on the other teams. For that reason, I have to label these guys as pretenders.

Team 7 – #6 Barker and Brendan (Unranked)

Barker rode JV’s coattails to two championships, and Nick’s to another championship. Once again, Barker finds himself in a nice comfortable partnership heading into a tournament. He’ll look for Brendan’s shoulders to carry him to a fourth championship in this tournament.

Brendan is unranked because he has not appeared in 2021 regular season action, but he’s clearly one of the better players in this field. He is fresh off a 2021 Singles Tournament runner-up, and while he should feel great about that result, he also has a bitter taste in his mouth because he was capable of claiming that championship.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: This team features two of the top six or seven players in the league, one of which is hungry for his first title after coming oh so close in this year’s Singles Tournament (Brendan). The other (Barker), hungry to prove he wasn’t the one riding coattails. This team is a contender.

Team 8 – #16 Jack and #11 Bob

This season Jack eclipsed the 10.0 KPM mark for the first time in his career, and Bob made an enormous leap from 8.2 KPM in 2020 to 12.8 KPM in 2021. These guys are rising stars in the league, but their tournament success comes down to their consistency and their draw. If both players can throw accurately all day, and not get caught up in trying to go bag-for-bag in the hole with some of their opponents, they’ll be in good shape. Their mentality needs to be any scoring bag, even one on the board, is a great bag. Make it difficult on their opponents and try to grind out victories. After that, they’ll need a little luck on which teams they draw during their tournament path.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: Both players are improving rapidly. Unfortunately this tournament field is super talented, making this team a pretender. However, they are capable of creating chaos by pulling an upset or two, and this team should be in the running for the Toilet Bowl Championship.

Team 9 – #5 Turley and #1 Nick

Is there a luckier player in the league when it comes to tournament drafts than Nick? My god. For this blind draw we had protections in place to ensure none of the top-4 ranked players could be partners. So what does Nick do? He draws the #5 player, the highest possible ranking he could partner with. Truly unbelievable. In the 2020 Postseason Tournament Draft Lottery, he was selected with the second pick by Barker, who had just a 3% chance of earning that pick (they went on to win that tournament). Nick has also been randomly partnered with Steve-O twice, and both times they won the tournament.

Listen, Nick is an excellent player. He’s #1 for a reason. But he doesn’t need any help!

Turley has had a breakout 2021 campaign, hitting 70% of his bags and posting a 14.6 KPM (up from 11.4 KPM in 2020). A Postseason Tournament title would be the cherry on top of an incredible year.

Contender/Pretender/Dark Horse: No doubt, this team is a contender! Nick is the most decorated player in LEG history with five championships and two MVPs. Turley, on the other hand, has not had much success in tournaments…that is the wildcard for this team. How does Turley handle the pressure of advancing deep into this tournament?

PREDICTION

Every year, in every tournament I find myself saying, “this is deepest pool of talent we’ve had for a tournament”. It’s not lip service! It’s true! Of the 18 players in this tournament field, only two are below the 10.0 KPM threshold (it’s safe to assume unranked players Scott, Brendan and Ray would clear that mark). When the KPM metric was developed, 10.0 was considered a great night/season. Now, we are blowing that out of the water!

With so many good players, victories will be hard to earn in this tournament. Ultimately, someone has to win and there are two teams that I think separate themselves – Galz and Ray, and Turley and Nick.

My gut is telling me Galz and Ray pull this one out, with the championship match being decided in the third, and final, game.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – In any sport rivalries can be good for the game and fun for fans. They can also be foul and toxic. In LEG, we’ve seen our share of rivalries throughout the years – Paul and JV always comes to mind, but it all started with the O.G.s, Nick and JG. Fast forward to 2021 and we have some new rivalries brewing among the likes of Bob and JV, Paul and Erik, and Dibble and Bushie.

The latter might be the hottest rivalry in the league, and at moments may even approach the foul/toxic category. But this week, Dibble extended an olive branch inviting Bushie to be partners in Game 1. When he did, everyone and everything stopped in their tracks, like a DJ bringing the beats to a screeching halt when the awkward white guy walks into a black club and starts dancing with the hottest chick in the room.

Once everyone picked their jaw up from the ground, Bob and Turley were there to accept the challenge from the frenemies. Less than 10 minutes and eight throws from each player later, Bob and Turley regretted accepting that challenge. Dibble and Bushie were cooking, holding a 10 – 0 lead after the first inning primarily because of Dibble smacking Bob around with a 9 – 0 round.

In the top of the second inning Turley was dominated by Bushie, 9 – 3 to make the score 16 – 0 overall. Turley was disgusted because he knew what was coming…a 9 – 3 win for Dibble in the bottom of the second inning to win the game, 21 – 0!

The quickest bun run in the history of LEG (not counting when Steve-O gave KP a bun run in the 2020 Singles Tournament in just four throws – read more about that here https://legcornhole.com/2020-singles-tournament-recap/ ).

“Did we just become best friends?” Dibble asked Bushie after the game. Without answering, Bushie

walked away and grabbed a Coors Light refill. Guess we’ll have to stay tuned a bit longer for the Bushie-Dibble romance to heat up. In the meantime, if you want to get hot fast, check out the bun run footage from this week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BngHTnikD-U

SPEAKING OF RIVALRIES…

Bob and JV have a neighborly rivalry going this season. The strange thing about this rivalry is that it is not rooted in head-to-head matches. In fact, the two have only played head-to-head one time this season, with Bob narrowly edging JV, 28 – 25.

The rivalry was established with Bob using JV as a measuring stick, and proclaiming it publicly in the group text after week 3.

Bob: “Dude! JV and I are tied for KPM?”

JV (clearly annoyed): “After 3 weeks you should just put yourself on the trophy. That’s what I do.”

JV (still annoyed and unprompted from any other messages): “I would suggest a different measuring stick though. The battle between 8^th and 9^th doesn’t hold a lot of the crowd’s attention.”

Crickets…

JV and Bob may have only been 8^th and 9^th in the Power Rankings at that point of the season, but they were tied at 13.1 KPM, which is ridiculously high for the 8^th and 9^th ranked players. After this week, they still reside in 8^th and 9^th, with Bob holding the edge at 13.5 and JV checking in at 13.3. JV did get the best of him this week, though, with a 14.7 KPM compared to Bob’s 14.1.

Will Bob supplant Paul as JV’s arch-nemesis? That’s unlikely. But this neighborly rivalry has potential to add some juice to the league. Now they just have to play each other head-to-head more often!

FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT

There is seemingly never a shortage of hilarious moments at LEG, and Coach Mike is almost always involved in those moments. During a rough stretch of Game 2 this week, Coach Mike struck again. He was head-to-head with Jack and the dynamic duo posted the following scores in four straight innings:

• Inning 1 – Jack 1, Coach Mike 1
• Inning 2 – Jack 3, Coach Mike 1
• Inning 3 – Jack 2, Coach Mike 1
• Inning 4 – Coach Mike 2, Jack 1

After Coach Mike’s final bag of the fourth inning, which shockingly (note the sarcasm) was a miss, he yelled down to JV and KP at the other end, “Sorry guys. Stoner bags down here!”

For the game Coach scored 11 points in seven innings (average of 1.57 gross points per round) and made just one cornhole. Jack, on the other hand, wasn’t much better with his 19 points (average of 2.7 gross points per round) and two cornholes. In their defense, they were moments removed from a few rips of fantastic ganja.

HOLY CHOKES, SCOOB!

This week there were three chokes/comebacks! Since the metric was developed in 2018, there were only 11 total coming into this week. In other words, when a team builds a 10+ point lead, they almost always close it for the save. Not this week.

In Game 3 Dibble and Paul built a 10 – 0 lead over Nick and Bushie, and then never scored another point! Nick and Bushie ripped off 21 straight points to complete the comeback, 21 – 10.

In Game 18 Paul and Bob had multiple 10+ point leads over Jack and Dibble, including 10 – 0, 14 – 3, and 16 – 4. Yet, they somehow choked and lost 21 – 16. Jack was responsible for 10 of his team’s 17 points in their comeback from the 16 – 4 deficit.

In Game 19 Erik and Coach Mike were on the cusp of victory with an 18 – 8 advantage over Galz and Turley. Not only did they fail to score again while giving up a 13 – 0 run to choke away the game, but they lost that lead, and the game, in just one inning! Galz always jokes about toying with opponents, letting them get a 10+ point lead before he actually starts playing. I’m beginning to think he’s telling the truth. Turley outscored Coach Mike 8 – 2 and Galz cleared the bases, bringing all runners home with his 9 – 2 win over Erik to clinch victory, 21 – 18.

Paul involved in two of this week’s three chokes. Ouch.

THIS JUST IN, NICK IS REALLY GOOD

Another week, another record for Nick. This time he posted a weekly record-high KPM of 21.7, breaking his old record of 21.2 from week 2 this year. This guy has a 20.2 KPM for the season, including weeks of 17.6 (week 1), 21.2 (week 2), 20.4 (week 3) and 20.4 (week 4).

He busted off a 5 – 0 record this week with a +10.6 scoring differential. Say what???? He shot 82% this week (76% on the season) while averaging 1.73 cornholes per round (1.61 on the season) and 6.7 gross points per round (6.3 on the season). He’s practically untouchable right now with those numbers.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

Nick and JV partnered against Dibble and Adam in Game 8. And no, that’s not a typo. Adam actually showed up for the first time since playing in only weeks 9 and 10 of 2019 (only 12 games for the season). We basically haven’t seen Adam since the 2018 season.

With Nick and JV up 20 – 10, Nick signaled to the bullpen. Moments later Jeff “Wild Thing” Vaughn…err, Valantas came sprinting onto the field. Okay, JV doesn’t run. But he slowly bent over to collect all his bags and then took Adam to school.

Adam had a 4 – 3 lead after each player tossed three bags. JV then hit Adam with the high heat on his fourth toss, sinking an airmail and dragging another bag in with it for a double cornhole! Ballgame. Nothing Adam could do on his fourth toss would change the outcome.

The league’s best closer does it again, earning the week 5 Mushroom Stamp Moment.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Game 7 featured Erik and Dibble against Bushie and Adam, and let’s pick up the action in the top of the fourth inning when Bushie and Adam held a 12 – 4 lead. Dibble bullied Adam in the top of the inning, beating him 8 – 3 to cut the deficit to 12 – 9. Erik evened the score at 12 – 12 when he outscored Bushie in the bottom of the fourth inning, 7 – 4.

In the top of the fifth, Dibble bent Adam over and stuffed it in dry, outscoring him 8 – 1! It’s the first and only time in Dibble’s life he’ll use seven of anything when he has someone bent over in front of him.

19 – 12 advantage to Dibble and Erik.

Bushie kept his team’s hopes alive in the bottom of the fifth by scoring all four of his bags, including two cornholes, topping Erik 8 – 2 and cutting the deficit to 19 – 18.

Everyone in attendance expected Dibble to continue raw dogging Adam. But then we realized he already finished. We should’ve known he’d be that quick.

Adam scored a point to tie the game, 19 – 19, then waddled to the bathroom to flush Dibble’s seed down the toilet.

Don’t worry Adam, Bushie didn’t need any more help – not because he had the game under wraps, but because Erik did. The Lefty from French Lick swished two cornholes and boarded his other two bags to score eight points. Bushie could only manage three points, giving Erik five net points. Victory for Dibble and Erik, 21 – 19.

That was a hell of a game-clinching round by Erik, finishing a phenomenal scoring run by he and Dibble.

NEWS AND NOTES

None this week. You want more stats, check the website!

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Establishing a periodic “Belt Challenge” has been on the Commissioner’s agenda for almost two years, and it was finally implemented this week.

What is a “Belt Challenge”? As you all know, the Singles Tournament has been a midseason staple since 2018 with the winner of the tournament claiming the LEG Championship Belt. Ordinarily the winner of the LEG Championship Belt would possess it until the following year’s Singles Tournament, which would then require a title defense. However, the Belt Challenge allows for top challengers to play for the right to defeat the Singles Champion and take the belt.

Some of you may recall the “Monday Night Wars” between Monday Night Raw of the WWF and Monday Nitro of the WCW. The two wrestling organizations were so hellbent on topping the other in television ratings that they started periodic championship matches where the current belt holder would defend the title against a top competitor. It was a huge shift in the championship wrestling format, as all prior championship matches were saved for Pay Per View. Televising championship matches on cable TV was a ratings grab, and it worked.

Anyway, the concept is the same for the LEG Championship Belt…Belt Challenges allow challengers to claim the Championship Belt through other avenues besides winning the Singles Tournament. The format of the Belt Challenge is that the title holder – whether that’s the prior Singles Tournament Champion or the most recent Belt Challenge winner (on a go forward basis) – is automatically the #1 seed in the Belt Challenge and has a chance to defend the belt. The top three KPMs (excluding the current title holder, of course) on the night of a Belt Challenge become the #2, #3 and #4 seeds.

From there, the #1 seed plays the #4 seed in one semifinal and the #2 seed plays the #3 seed in the second semifinal. The semifinal winners advance to play for the LEG Championship Belt. The entire format is single elimination.

KP won the 2020 Singles Tournament and therefore automatically earned the #1 seed in the inaugural Belt Challenge. Nick earned the #2 seed with a 20.4 KPM, Galz the #3 seed with a 17.5 KPM and Dibble the #4 seed with a 16.3 KPM.

In the first semifinal between #1 KP and #4 Dibble, KP jumped out to an early 11 – 3 lead. But Dibble kept chipping away at the deficit and slowly crawled back in the game. Eventually he took the lead and never looked back, beating KP 21 – 14.

The second semifinal between #2 Nick and #3 Galz was tight the entire way and went down to the wire, each guy exchanging a few points per round and never gaining more than a three point separation. Nick held a 19 – 17 lead and picked the right time to sink two cornholes while Galz piled bags on the board. Nick won the final round, 6 – 3, after Galz chased glory with a final shot airmail that missed. That was the clinching moment of the game, advancing Nick to the title match with a 21 – 17 victory.

The Belt Challenge title match felt eerily similar to the first semifinal. Dibble found himself in an early hole, down 8 – 2. But Nick caught a cold streak and Dibble smartly took one point here, two points there…soon enough he jumped in front on the scoreboard. Dibble closed the game on a 19 – 3 run to win the Belt Challenge, 21 – 11 over Nick.

Dibble now has possession of the LEG Championship Belt! These Belt Challenges will occur every two weeks, so week 6 it will be up for grabs with Dibble defending the title.

MISSING – HAVE YOU SEEN ME?

KP was so disgusted after his semifinal loss in the Belt Challenge that he kicked a can of delicious IPA into the side of the house and dropped several four letter expletives. The frustration wasn’t necessarily about *this* loss. Rather, he’s been in a slump for the entire 2021 season and it all came to a head when he had control of the game and pissed it away. Just using tonight as an example, KP was actually #5 in the KPM rankings and would not have qualified for the Belt Challenge if it weren’t for his exemption as the current belt holder. Paul was actually in the top four players (15.8 KPM this week), but had to watch KP struggle through a loss to Dibble rather than have his own shot at taking possession of the belt.

To make matters worse, KP began hearing whispers that multiple players were taking joy in beating him and/or in the fact that he was struggling, culminating in massive shit talk from another LEG player during a casual setting over the weekend (days after week 4).

Go ahead and take joy in KP’s struggles, talk your shit, and laugh at the bun run Galz and Bushie handed KP and Paul in Game 9 this week (link below). Just know that the version of KP ya’ll are beating isn’t the best version, and the revenge tour will come sooner or later. When it does, each of the offenders are officially on notice because KP’s coming for that ass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNcn0sBfJvA

JIMMY 2.0

We last saw Jimmy in the final weeks of the 2020 season when he finished the year with a 7.9 KPM. Clearly not great, especially when compared to the swanky KPMs throughout the league, but also consistent with almost every other rookie in LEG history.

Jimmy made his 2021 debut this week and was noticeably different from the time the first bag left his hands. Rhythm was great, bag was flat and spinning like a pizza pie, and scoring was improved.

“Jimmy, have you been practicing?” KP asked.

“I have. I was getting my butt kicked last year and did not want that to happen again,” he responded.

The work paid off. Not only did he look better, but the stats proved he was markedly better. Jimmy finished this week with an 11.1 KPM, 62% shooting, 3.7 gross points per round, 0.60 cornholes per round and a 2 – 2 record.

Those are enormous jumps from how he finished the 2020 season – 7.9 KPM, 48% shooting, 2.7 gross points per round, 0.38 cornholes per round and a 7 – 15 record.

Jimmy capped his night with a great victory in Game 10, which was runner-up for Game of the Night (“GoT”). Jimmy and Dibble snuck by Erik and Barker, 21 – 20, and Jimmy scored 45 gross points and 8 cornholes, averaging 4.1 gross points per round while hanging tough in his head-to-head with Erik (47 gross points and 9 cornholes).

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Game 3 pitted JV and Galz against Turley in Dibble, representing one of the few instances when all four players had things rolling. Below is a snapshot of their Game 3 stats, and keep in mind JV and Turley were head-to-head, while Galz and Dibble were head-to-head:

• JV – 12.5 KPM, 68% accuracy, 0.70 cornholes per round and 4.1 gross points per round
• Turley – 14.2 KPM, 70% accuracy, 0.90 cornholes per round and 4.6 gross points per round
• Galz – 16.7 KPM, 73% accuracy, 1.2 cornholes per round and 5.3 gross points per round
• Dibble – 16.7 KPM, 65% accuracy, 1.3 cornholes per round and 5.2 gross points per round

Not a lot of separation in those head-to-head match-ups, making this a nail-biter.

With the score tied 6 – 6 in the fourth inning, JV and Galz each won their half of the inning, stretching their lead to 9 – 6. Over the next three innings they pushed their scoring run to 11 – 2, making the score 17 – 8. During that run JV contributed two of his team’s 11 points while also holding Turley at bay. Galz knocked in the remaining nine points during that stretch, capped with a 10-point round in the seventh inning.

Turley and Dibble needed to stop the bleeding quickly, and did so with Turley snagging one point in the top of the eighth inning to make it 17 – 9. Dibble scored all four of his bags, including two cornholes, in the bottom half of the inning, outscoring Galz 8 – 2! A seven point swing in just one inning cut the gap to 17 – 15.

JV drained two cornholes on his way to a 7 – 5 win over Turley in the ninth to make the score 19 – 15. All Galz had to do now was score two points to clinch the game, while Dibble could win it with a +6 point round.

With the game at stake, both players disappointed in crunch time. Whether it was nerves, lost focus, or playing too aggressively, both guys failed to deliver – Dibble scored two points and Galz managed just one, making the score 19 – 16.

Turley had honors to throw first in the top of the tenth inning, a golden opportunity against the best closer in the league. He answered the bell with an enormous three-pointer!

JV’s first toss landed on the board. Turley heated up with a second cornhole, pushing his advantage to 6 – 1.

Things were slipping away for JV. He threw a perfect bag at the middle of the board to block additional cornhole attempts from Turley. Unfortunately for JV, Turley is a smart player and was perfectly willing to lay-up, forcing JV to execute a miraculous shot to get back in the game.

Turley boarded his third bag for a 7 – 2 advantage. Cue the heroic attempt from JV. He lowered his release point on the third toss, attempting to push one or both of his existing bags on the board. The trajectory was good, but aim was off. JV just missed pushing his bags because of a wide toss.

Once again, Turley smartly decided to lay-up and board his final bag for an 8 – 2 advantage. JV had to make one bag or the game was over.

He surveyed the board, identifying all four bags littering the canvas. Heroics were needed, but the mathematician quickly calculated the odds of all possible heroic scenarios in his head and reached into his bag of tricks – out came an even lower and harder toss than his third attempt, this one directly on target. His toss smashed into a mess of bags, moved his own two blockers closer to the hole and rolled over the pile for a three-pointer! Not only did he deliver the cornhole he needed to extend the game, but he was fractions of an inch from pushing two more bags in the hole for a 9 – 8 round win!

Instead, Turley took the 8 – 5 advantage, which made the score 19 – 19 and turned the bags back over to Galz and Dibble. After a subpar prior inning, Dibble responded by scoring three of his four tosses, including two cornholes, to put the game away. He outscored Galz 7 – 3 to win the game, 21 – 19.

Not only were the players separated by fractions on the stat sheet (particularly in the head-to-head match-ups), but fractions on the board separated winning from losing in this one. It was an excellent match that was thrilling to watch.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

This week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) was so incredible that it was crowned despite the fact it came in a losing effort. In Game 2 Galz and JV found themselves down 8 – 4 to Paul and Jimmy early on. In the bottom of the fourth inning Jimmy executed a perfect game plan through his first three bags, piling them around the hole to make things difficult for Galz. For all his positive attributes, one thing Galz does not have is patience. He plays 100 mph at all times. After bunching his first two bags around the hole (thanks to Jimmy’s blockers), his third bag was shot out of a cannon – it exploded into the pile of bags near the hole and somehow all three of Galz’s bags fell in for NINE TOTAL POINTS, WHILE ALSO PUSHING ALL THREE OF JIMMY’S BAGS AWAY FROM THE HOLE!

Jimmy’s final toss missed the board, and Galz had an alley of Jimmy’s dead bags to use as bumpers for a 12-point round. Apparently this was too easy of a shot for Galz, as he failed to make the cornhole for a 12-point round. The bag missed hole-high and just to the right, as he settled for 10 points.

However, Galz taking three bags into the hole on one shot, and the degree of difficulty associated with pulling that off, earns him this week’s MSM. It was one of the best shots you’ll see. That 9-point shot was a catalyst for his 10 – 3 round win that gave he and JV an 11 – 8 lead, but Jimmy and Paul wouldn’t let their opponent score again – they went back to executing their strategy and pieced together a 13 – 0 run to win the game, 21 – 11.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Erik had a great week going 2 – 1 with a 13.6 KPM, 66% accuracy, 0.87 cornholes per round and 4.4 gross points per round. Somehow he fell from #10 to #11 in the Power Rankings, despite the 13.6 KPM.
• Paul was exceptional with a 15.8 KPM and 3 – 2 record. He did enough to qualify for the Belt Challenge (was #4 in overall KPM on the night), but was left on the sidelines because of KP automatically qualifying. Still, a lot to be proud of for Paul on this night, especially his 5.0 gross points per round and 1.12 cornholes per round! Paul jumped from #11 to #8 in the Power Rankings.
• Turley continues to win, baby. This week he was 3 – 1, which runs his season record to 13 – 4. That’s an absurd winning percentage in this league (76%), while the next highest is just 63%. He finished the night with a 12.5 KPM and remains #6 in the Power Rankings.
• Bushie cracked the top-5 of the Power Rankings this week, jumping from #7 to #5 thanks to this week’s 14.3 KPM. Bushie continues to play extremely well this season, averaging 1.06 cornholes per round, 4.7 gross points per round, and 64% accuracy while posting a 14.8 KPM.
• Finally, Nick keeps re-writing the record book. This week’s 20.4 KPM isn’t quite a record for best weekly KPM, but it does help him stay #1 in the Power Rankings and bring his season KPM to 19.9. Your eyes aren’t deceiving you…19.9 KPM for the season! What is most impressive is that he’s averaging 1.59 cornholes per round (best in the league) while also being the most accurate player in the league at 75%. The only blemish on Nick’s record is his inability to close the title match of the Belt Challenge. Otherwise, he’s in a league of his own right now.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – You’d expect warmer temperatures and an ideal environment for cornhole on Thursday before Memorial Day. But this week felt like the British Open of LEG given the cold and blustery conditions.

Dibble had the grill roaring, it was Bob’s birthday, and the competition among the top three players was enough to heat things up this week.

Last week’s recap was mostly dedicated to the rise of Bushie, Turley and Bob. Clearly the big dogs (Nick, Dibble and Galz) don’t take kindly to ripping the headlines away from them. Their response in week 3 was absurd – all three combined for a 13 – 3 record (Galz locked in at 5 – 1, while Nick and Dibble each went 4 – 1), with two of the three total losses coming at the hands of playing one another. The trio also posted the top three KPMs of the week, Nick – 20.4, Dibble – 18.2 and Galz – 16.5.

Dibble and Galz were stroking it early, partnering in Game 1 against JV and Coach Mike. They made quick work of their opponents, trouncing them 21 – 1 in just three innings. Thankfully JV snagged a second inning point on a final bag airmail against Galz (he won the round 7 – 6) or else the night would have kicked off with a bun run.

Dibble’s second game of the night was another blowout win in only three innings, 21 – 3, and he posted a new single-game KPM record of 32.2. His three innings went like this: 10 –> 9 –> 10, and he totaled nine cornholes. Bushie’s single-game KPM record, set in week 2, didn’t stand a chance.

Two games later Galz stepped to the boards for his second game of the night, on a mission to keep pace with his powerhouse counterpart. He partnered with Erik and destroyed Bushie and Turley, 21 – 4, again in just three innings! Galz’s three innings went like this: 7 –> 9 –> 7, and he totaled seven cornholes while posting a 25.4 KPM. Not quite the 32.2 KPM from Dibble, but still a phenomenal game from Galz.

Nick showed up a bit late, catching the end of Galz’s second game domination. He was oblivious to Dibble’s 32.2 and to the Game 1 thrashing Galz and Dibble gave Coach and JV. One thing was clear, though, Nick was prepared to throw heat and stiff-arm the chase Dibble and Galz were on to unseat him as the #1 player in the Power Rankings.

His evening opener in Game 6 wasn’t the quick three innings of work Dibble and Galz had, but scorched the nets just the same. He and Jack teamed to outlast JV and Erik, 21 – 17, and in eight innings Nick scored 56 gross points, 16 cornholes and three 10-point rounds, equating to a 23.0 KPM, 2.0 cornholes per round, 7 gross points per round, and 75% accuracy.

The Big 3 got their groove back in a major way this week.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

By the time Game 13 rolled around the sun had set, the wind gusted harder and the air was more frigid. Yet this match featuring Bushie and Erik against Dibble and JV somehow managed to produce GoT quality.

Bushie, going head-to-head against Dibble, and Erik jumped out to an early 6 – 1 lead, and upped it to 9 – 3 two innings later. JV halted the run in the fifth inning with an 8 – 3 advantage over Erik, cutting the deficit to 9 – 8.

Bushie immediately tacked on two more points in the bottom of the fifth inning to make it 11 – 8, getting the best of Dibble, 8 – 6.

The lead grew to 15 – 8 after the top half of the sixth, thanks to Erik’s 4 – 0 shutout of JV.

Dibble and Bushie combined for an ugly bottom of the sixth, totaling three combined points on 3/8 shooting. Dibble walked away with one point to make it 15 – 9, advantage to Bushie and Erik.

Through six innings, Bushie and Erik stayed patient and executed their strategy perfectly. They played aggressively in spots, but often threw blockers and piled up points while creating difficult shots for their opponents.

Erik continued with the strategy leading off the top of the seventh inning. His first bag landed on the board, but was misplaced short and left, not in JV’s line whatsoever. It was the crack in the door JV had been waiting for and immediately pounced with a first bag cornhole. Rattled, Erik tried to compose himself and toss an accurate second bag.

He missed the board this time. JV boarded his second toss for a 4 – 1 advantage, and would add four more points in his next two tossed as Erik limped to the end of the round with just one more scoring bag. JV’s 8 – 2 round tied the game, 15 – 15.

Bushie lifted Erik from the mat in the bottom of the seventh by draining two cornholes and besting Dibble, 8 – 6, snatching the lead, 17 – 15. Erik threw a perfect 4/4 in the top of the eighth inning, tacking on one more point to help his team inch closer to a victory, 18 – 15.

Similar to the bottom of the sixth inning, the bottom of the eighth was ugly. Once again, Bushie and Dibble combined for 3/8 shooting, this time Dibble walked away with three points, tying the game 18 – 18, thanks to a cornhole.

Where have we heard this before? JV, arguably the best closer LEG has, with bags in hand during a game-clinching moment. He has the Mariano Rivera effect, where even the best opponents can’t fight off the self-doubt that creeps in when facing him.

JV’s first two bags found the board while Erik did a sensational job of piling up bags in front of the hole to block any JV heroics. With the inning tied 2 – 2 after two throws, JV dialed up the aggression and launched an airmail attempt on his third toss. It was on target but short, stacking on the pile with four other bags.

Erik was content to join the pile, and did so safely with his third toss – 3 – 3 after three bags.

JV gathered himself for an extra few seconds, envisioning his shot like Tiger Woods in his prime. Once again he tossed an airmail attempt that rainbowed toward the hole, on target but unsure if it had enough to clear the pile of six bags. As the bag approached the hole, it clipped one of JV’s bags on the pile and dragged it into the hole for a double-cornhole airmail!

Holy shit, JV’s flare for the dramatic comes through again, turning a 3 – 3 inning into an 8 – 3 advantage, forcing Erik to sink a cornhole to extend the game.

Understandably lacking composure, Erik tried to focus for his final shot – an airmail, which he does not attempt often. He stepped, threw and immediately knew it had no chance. A low pull that barely clipped the board settled on the concrete.

21 – 18 was the final, as JV closed with one of the best 8-point rounds you’ll ever see.

Erik played exceptionally, scoring 28/36 bags (78%). The problem was he failed to record a cornhole in the game, so all 28 scoring bags were good for just one point. Meanwhile, JV used seven cornholes to score 35 points, none bigger than the ones recorded on his final toss of the game.

At the other end of the board Bushie outplayed Dibble, 38 – 36 and both players made nine cornholes.

CHOKE ARTISTS

As the night closed and playing group dwindled, Galz and Dibble were sauced up with liquid confidence. Game 14 finished and there was a slight lull in the action, “Alright! Dibble and me versus Nick and KP!” Galz yelled.

Any time Galz is focused on playing instead of talking or eating (yes, even in the middle of his own inning!), you have to capitalize on the moment. So, it was on. Galz and Dibble vs. KP and Nick in Game 15.

The start of the contest couldn’t have been worse for Galz and Dibble, quickly finding themselves in an 11 – 0 hole due to eight points from KP (he won rounds of 7 – 4 and 8 – 3 over Galz) and three more points from Nick (he won rounds of 6 – 4 and 6 – 5 over Dibble). Halfway to a bun run!

Galz’s confidence is unshakable. He relishes moments like this because it’s the ultimate challenge. Dibble collected two points in the third inning while Galz added three more. The bun run was off the table, 11 – 5.

The fourth inning became the turning point of the match. Nick struggled to find the board and Dibble took advantage with a 5 – 1 inning win to climb back into the game, now facing an 11 – 9 deficit.

The struggle transferred to KP’s end of the board in the bottom of the fourth inning where he managed only two bags on the board, and Galz pounced all over that opportunity by sinking three cornholes. He crushed KP, 9 – 2, giving his team a 16 – 11 lead.

Moments later, Dibble dropped three cornholes for nine points with Nick managing only four points. Nick’s final bag needed to be in the hole to extend the game, but it came up empty. Dibble closed the match for his squad, a 21 – 11 victory.

Down 11 – 0 and on the verge of a bun run to a 21 – 0 scoring streak to win the game, 21 – 11. What a turn of events! Credit to Galz and Dibble for the comeback. Meanwhile, Nick and KP were fuming over their choke. Neither guy played after that, both sitting on the sidelines trying to figure out how they played so shitty.

AUNT MILLIE MIKE RETURNS

It’s been almost one year since Coach Mike’s last bun run. In fact, week 2 of the 2020 season produced two Coach Mike bun runs, earning him the nickname “Aunt Millie Mike.” Coach has been turning the corner since then, even handing Dibble his first career bun run in week 11 of the 2020 season.

This week Coach invited Matt, a friend/neighbor, to join the cornhole party. After narrowly avoiding a bun run in Game 1 as JV’s partner (lost 21 – 1), Aunt Millie Mike wasn’t as lucky in Game 14 when he partnered with Matt. Turley outscored Matt, 11 – 3, and held him cornhole-less, while Aunt Millie struggled to keep pace with Nick, losing 29 – 13.

Add it all up and you get a 21 – 0 victory for Turley and Nick. Even on a frigid night, Aunt Millie honored the bun run and dragged Matt to hell with him. It was Aunt Millie’s seventh bun run of his career and Matt’s first (obviously).

See the footage here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNGX5cqREFw

In the final game of the night (Game 16), Aunt Millie dodged another bun run bullet. Bob and Bushie throttled he and JV, 21 – 1. Just like in Game 1, it was JV snatching the lone point for he and Aunt Millie to escape the bun run.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

In the late stages of Game 11, JV and Turley found themselves in an 18 – 18 tie with Galz and Bushie. In the seventh inning JV was in process of closing yet another match. He had thrown two bags and owned a 4 – 2 advantage over Galz – but more importantly, JV’s bag on the board was near the hole and had successfully blocked Galz’s first two tosses.

Galz’s third toss was a fastball that powered two of his bags into the hole, swinging the score in his favor, 7-4!

JV attempted a push shot and could manage only to board his third bag. Galz landed his final bag on the board for an 8 – 5 advantage, requiring JV to score his final toss.

Still confident in the push shot, JV attempted again knowing he could win the inning 10 – 8 if successful. He tossed with a little more juice on the bag, but it caromed off the board.

Galz’s double-cornhole on his third bag allowed him to take control of the inning and ultimately close the game against LEG’s best closer. That, ladies and gentlemen, earns Galz this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment!

NEWS AND NOTES

• We celebrated Bob’s birthday this week, and he celebrated by almost putting a 12-point round on Paul in Game 4. His final bag missed the hole and he settled for a 9-point round instead. Bob did earn his first two wins of the season, going 2 – 3 with a 13.0 KPM, 0.91 cornholes per round, 4.1 gross points per round and 58% accuracy. Happy Birthday, Bob!
• Jack continues to play the best cornhole of his career, ending his night with an 11.4 KPM on 51% shooting. He posted a 19.6 KPM in his first game, before getting into a rhythm! Where Jack has really grown is his cornhole rate, finishing tonight with 0.8 cornholes per round. His season average is 0.73 cornholes per round, up significantly from his 2020 average (0.54 per round) and career average (0.35 per round). He’s also shining in clutch moments – tonight he tossed an incredible roll bag that dodged JV’s blocker and fell into the hole. Granted, as Jack was celebrating what he thought was an inning win, JV says, “You know better than to celebrate before Daddy is done!” and proceeded to throw an airmail to wash the round. Nonetheless, Jack is yet another example the growing talent in this league.
• Speaking of JV, he rebounded very nicely from his rough week 2. His 13.6 KPM, 0.93 cornholes per round and 62% shooting are great. But the dominant closer with the killer mentality came back this week, which is more important than anything else for JV.
• Turley finally fell from the ranks of the unbeaten. His 2 – 3 record is quite the change of pace compared to the 8 – 0 record he brought into the night. Despite the loss, he still recorded a 15.3 KPM and 73% shooting…and is still 10 – 3 on the season.
• Erik made his first regular season appearance this week, finishing with a 2 – 2 record and 11.7 KPM on 74% shooting. Not bad for taking almost a month away from the game.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – Far too often the league superstars dominate the headlines. Make no mistake, guys like Nick, Dibble, Galz, Barker, and JV have earned their accolades throughout the last six years. But, those “rising tides” have lifted all the “boats,” and this week several other players deserve some ink because of their stellar performance.

AN ODE TO THE “LITTLE GUYS”

Bushie, Turley and Bob might not be considered “superstars,” but all three are blossoming early in the 2021 season. Evidence of a breakout was obvious in the 2020 season for those paying attention, particularly toward the end of the year – Turley and Bushie joined Erik on the short list of players vying for 2020 Most Improved Player (I vow to start an official vote for that honor in 2021), while Bob finished his rookie campaign with more 12-point rounds than Dibble (two vs. one, respectively) in significantly fewer games (32 vs. 49, respectively).

Bushie was en fuego this week, scoring 69% of his tosses and averaging 6.0 gross points per round thanks to his 1.61 cornholes per round. If you hide the name associated with those statistics and polled the audience about who’s stats they were, 99% of the votes would go to Nick, Dibble or Galz.

Bushie held firm in head-to-head match-ups with Nick and Galz, scoring 16 cornholes and 60 gross points in the two games combined, while Nick and Galz combined for 17 cornholes and 72 gross points in those games against Bushie. However, in Game 11 he put the entire league on notice with a dazzling array of shots. Bushie led Galz to a 21 – 16 victory over Bob and Dibble, where he scored 22/24 tosses (91.7% accuracy), including 13 of his 22 scoring bags resulting in cornholes (averaging 2.2 cornholes per round). His scoring in the six round match went like this: 7 –> 10 –> 7 –> 6 –> 10 –> 8, resulting in an average of 8 gross points per round. Add it all up and his KPM in Game 11 was 26.0, which is a single-game LEG record!

For the week, Bushie finished with a 19.5 KPM and jumped from #7 to #4 in the Power Rankings.

Turley didn’t reach Bushie’s level this week, nonetheless, he was still explosive. Turley set a LEG record of his own, a single week high for accuracy – shooting 88% for the night (4 games). His 14.8 KPM was excellent, and could have been even better if not for his 0.71 cornholes per round (which is still great, but he came into the night averaging 1.35 per round).

Most importantly, Turley is a winner. He finished 4 – 0 for the second consecutive week, running his overall season record to 8 – 0…the next highest winning percentage in the league is 64%. Turley single-handedly carried KP to two wins over the 2020 Postseason Tournament Champions, Nick and Barker, in games of 21 – 14 and 21 – 19.

Finally, Bob drained two 10-point rounds while posting a 13.1 KPM this week. He played six games and stepped up to the plate facing the best of the best in every game.

• Hung tough with Turley in Game 1, losing the head-to-head, 38 – 31, including 9 – 7 in cornholes
• Dibble throttled him in Game 2, outscoring Bob 38 – 21 thanks to a 10 – 3 cornhole advantage
• Bob outscored Galz head-to-head in Game 4, 15 – 13
• Hung tough with Barker in Game 6, barely losing the head-to-head, 39 – 35, including 9 – 8 in cornholes
• Bob outscored JV head-to-head in Game 8, 28 – 25, including 7 – 6 in cornholes
• Bob was victim to Bushie’s incredible 26.0 KPM in Game 11, losing the head-to-head, 48 – 30, including 13 – 6 in cornholes. However, Bob was the second-leading scorer in that game

There was no easy way out for Bob, but he embraced the gauntlet and fared well with the 13.1 KPM, 62% accuracy, 4.2 gross points per round, and 0.87 cornholes per round. But one of the weirder stats of Bob’s night was an 0 – 6 record and -6.8 scoring differential, despite his sexy stat sheet.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Choosing the Game of the Night (“GoT”) seems to get harder by the week. Of the several contenders, Game 8 gets the nod this week. Nick and JV teamed against Bushie and Bob – the “haves” (seven combined titles) versus the “have nots” (one combined title).

Nick and JV took a 3 – 1 lead into the second inning, then Bob went to work. Two cornholes propelled him to a 7 – 1 advantage over JV, giving his squad a 7 – 3 lead.

In the bottom of the second inning Nick answered with three cornholes and a 9 – 2 inning win over Bushie, taking the lead back 10 – 7.

Bob and Bushie each chipped in one point in the third inning, cutting their deficit to 10 – 9.

JV used the top of the fourth inning to blow the game open, outscoring Bob 7 – 3. Nick outlasted Bushie in a high-scoring bottom half of the fourth, 8 – 6, giving his team a 16 – 9 lead.

A 16 – 9 lead with JV leading off the top of the inning, and Nick there in the bottom of the inning batting clean-up, if necessary. These are the moments when you’d expect the experience and talent of seven combined championships to takeover and suffocate an opponent like a boa constrictor.

Bob flipped a middle finger salute to that notion. He bested JV, 7 – 3, to keep he and Bushie in the game (16 – 13). Bushie remained hot, this time winning the high-scoring affair against Nick, 9 – 8. Don’t look now, but we have a game again! 16 – 14.

Bob tied it at 16 – 16 in the top of the sixth, and Bushie pushed his team’s scoring run to 11 – 0 in the bottom of the sixth by outscoring Nick, 7 – 3.

The “have nots” take a 20 – 16 lead!

Is this where Bob adds another brick to his foundation by closing a game against a championship opponent?

Not yet.

JV, arguably the best closer in the league, answered the bell again. Bob missed his first bag, and with it an opportunity to apply immense pressure to JV. The crowd could feel the momentum drain from Bob and surge through JV. A first toss cornhole from JV kick-started the boa constrictor.

Bob’s second bag failed to find the board. JV promptly drained another cornhole.

Gasping for air, Bob launched his third bag. Nada. JV’s third bag dropped directly in front of the hole, a perfectly executed blocker. 7 – 0, JV, and Bob now needed a cornhole to keep the game alive.

Bob’s final bag, an airmail attempt, was nowhere near. Game over, 21 – 20.

For good measure, JV attempted a push shot on his fourth bag in hopes of scoring a 12-point round. He missed, but it didn’t matter. The closer closed. The championship mettle of JV and Nick proved to be too much.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

The Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) came during Game 9 when a nip-and-tuck game turned into a blow-out. An 8 – 8 game after five innings quickly got out of hand when Dibble dropped a four-bagger on KP, outscoring him 12 – 2 to give he and Galz an 18 – 8 lead over KP and Bushie. Galz would go on to close the game, 21 – 8, in the bottom of the inning.

Dibble’s 12-point MSM was the second 12-point round of his night. Unlike last week when Dibble posted gaudy numbers that failed to produce victories, this week he was almost untouchable. An overall record of 5 – 1 paired nicely with his 19.6 KPM, providing Dibble the bounce-back week he needed.

NEWS AND NOTES

• A total of 19 10-point rounds were scored in week 2, which may be a record (that is one of the few stats we’ve never tracked). By comparison, only eight 10-point rounds were scored in week 1. Credit to the following guys who contributed to those 19 rounds:
  • KP – 6
  • Nick – 4
  • Bob – 2
  • Bushie – 2
  • Barker – 2
  • Galz – 2
  • Turley – 1
• Barker became the latest player migrating to the no step throw. He shouted instructions at his new throw more than any player in history – “get left!”, “sit down!”, “CUT!!!!”. Barker felt he played poorly, struggling to trust his new form. Yet, he registered a 16.0 KPM on 70% shooting and knocked in 1.14 cornholes per round. A comfortable, no stepping Barker is a scary thought. The rich out here getting richer
• The first mention of Nick in the “News and Notes” section might lead one to think he had a poor night. A 21.2 KPM, 3 – 3 record, 78% accuracy, 1.71 cornholes per round and 6.6 gross points per round is anything but poor. As exceptional as Nick was, he started the night 0 – 3 before rallying to win his final three matches of the night, but finished with just a +1.3 scoring differential. Just goes to show how difficult it is to win in this league.
• JV struggled this week. The commotion of hosting caused his individual performance to suffer – a 9.7 KPM, but a dismal 42% accuracy was truly his undoing. He fell from #4 to #9 in the Power Rankings, though he still had team success with a 2 – 3 overall record.
• Has anyone seen KP? He has been on a milk carton in 2021, and the search party still didn’t find him this week. Thanks to Turley’s excellence, KP managed a 2 – 3 record this week; without Turley an 0 – 5 record would’ve draped KP’s shoulders, slumping them even more.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – If week 1 is a precursor for what the 2021 LEG season has in store, we all need to buckle up and prepare for a wild ride. This week included 10 guys, all of whom were well over 10.0 KPM, a 14-point choke/comeback, and a Power Team receiving a bun run.

In 2017 the KPM was defined as part of an effort to enhance tracking of statistics. The group finished that season with only three out of 17 players above a 10.0 KPM (Nick – 12.4, JG – 10.5, and KP – 10.1).

The number of players above a 10.0 KPM increased to nine in the 2018 season (out of 23 players), but the season-high maxed out at 12.0 (credit to Galz posting that through 64 games, as Tony’s 12.5 KPM on only four games does not compare).

We’ve seen the league steadily improve from top to bottom, but this week was a huge jump for every player. As mentioned earlier, all 10 players easily cleared the 10.0 KPM mark, including six players posting 15.0 KPM or higher. Nick set the pace with a 17.6 on the evening, and Jack’s 10.7 was last of all players, though still excellent.

What’s scary about this record-setting week is the conditions weren’t great for scoring. The temperature was slightly cool and JV’s boards were playing an octane higher on the slick meter. Only four guys cleared 60% accuracy, with the sharpest shooter scoring 68% (Nick). In other words, more record-setting weeks may be on the horizon in 2021.

POWER COUPLE?

During tournaments we’ve always enforced a “draft protection” to prevent some of the top players from partnering to create a super team and distorting the competitive balance of the tournament. This week Nick and Dibble provided evidence that it might be time to reconsider the “draft protection” rule.

In Game 10 Nick and Dibble teamed to battle Turley and Galz. While Nick and Dibble are generally regarded as the top two players in the league, it would be a bit disingenuous to call it a slam dunk they’d dominate Turley and Galz. Sure, they’re likely the favorite in this match, but anyone can beat anyone on a Thursday night.

This, however, wasn’t as simple as “anyone beating anyone”. The match started rather pedestrian with Turley snagging one point against Nick in the top of the first inning, followed by Galz adding two more points in the bottom of the first.

Turley set the tone in the top of the second, sinking three cornholes on his way to a 10-point round and five points to make the score 8 – 0. Galz piled on with five more points in the bottom of the second inning by outscoring Dibble, 7 – 2. Suddenly, things were sideways with a 13 – 0 advantage to the underdogs.

Surely the big hitters would start connecting.

As the third inning got underway, The Weather Girls’ “It’s Raining Men” blasted in the background. Ironic because this was Turley’s requested song for the 2021 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament playlist.

Turley’s first bag of the third inning found the bottom of the hole, adding the pressure of five wet men to Nick’s shoulders. Nick’s first attempt to answer was unsuccessful, missing the board entirely on his first bag.

Turley’s sweet sweeping lefty toss scored three more points on his second bag, followed by one point from Nick. Turley upped his inning total to nine points with his third straight cornhole. Nick attempted to push two bags into the hole with his third shot, but both bags stopped just shy of the hole.

Turley’s fourth bag was an opportunity to complete a 12-point round and drive a spike in his opponent’s coffin. He lofted an airmail attempt to avoid Nick’s two blockers, but missed long. With two blockers at the front of the hole, Nick could throw low and hard to push three bags in for a 9 – 9 wash. He fired an aggressive shot, but was wide of his target, missing off the board long. A 9 – 2 advantage for Turley in the third inning made in 20 – 0 overall.

It was still raining men as Galz stepped to the plate. Even though the scorer’s table had just announced 20 – 0 for ALL to hear, Galz paused before his first toss and walked to the scorer’s table to inspect the computer with his own eyes. He confirmed the score and took a drag from his cigar as he strolled back to the board – “Alright Dibble, you’re getting a bun run right here!” Galz took his nuts and pushed them to the middle of the table, calling his shot right to Dibble’s face.

Galz walked the walk, sinking his first two bags and scoring one point on his third bag. During the same period, Dibble also scored all three of his bags – but, only one cornhole left him with a 7 – 5 deficit going into the final bag.

A cornhole from Galz would end it, solidifying the bun run. His final toss failed to find the board, leaving the door open for Dibble. A cornhole would give Dibble an 8 – 7 win in the bottom of the inning; anything less would clinch Dibble’s second bun run of his career and Winkler’s first during regular season play (he’s been bun run during a tournament).

Dibble’s arm swung back, and Nick started unzipping his shorts. The bag came out wobbly, Nick unbuttoned his shorts. Dibble leaned, as if to will the bag back on target. No such luck…the bag smacked the right side of the board and continued sliding off the back.

7 – 5 advantage to Galz, 21 – 0 bun run complete for Turley and Galz!

Nick dropped his drawers, put his shoes back on and fluffed himself while he waited for Dibble to undress. Note – “undress” is a generous description as both guys were wearing boxers that were longer than most people’s shorts and they kept their shirts on. Stricter enforcement of bun runs is coming in the future.

As they finished the bun run, Dibble dropped his drawers and gave the whole crowd a shot of his ass. His pasty white dumper looked like a vat of large curd cottage cheese. His ass was so lumpy it looked like he was smuggling chicken McNuggets in his ass cheek skin.

Of course we have footage. Thanks to both Coach Mike and Galz, we can relive this bun run over and over.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This week’s Game of the Night was difficult to choose because there were multiple thrilling games. Game 11 gets the nod, which pitted arch nemeses Paul and JV against Coach Mike and Bushie. On the heels of the bun run (remember, that was Game 10), Coach Mike and Bushie damn near put Paul and JV on notice to get naked. After five innings Coach and Bushie had a commanding, 16 – 2 lead.

Paul stopped the hemorrhaging in the top of the sixth, scoring five points to cut the deficit to 16 – 7. JV doubled-down by outscoring Bushie, 8 – 5, to make it 16 – 10 overall. Paul continued his hot streak in the seventh inning with two cornholes and a 7 – 0 win over Coach, which gave he and JV a 17 – 16 lead.

A 16 – 2 lead evaporated in the blink of an eye, and Bushie’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. JV sensed the shaky ground Bushie was on, and arguably the best closer in the league relished this moment against Bushie. JV drained his first three bags, while Bushie managed just four points. JV’s final bag for a 12-point round missed, but Bushie was still forced to make cornhole to extend the game. He didn’t, and Paul and JV completed a 19 – 0 run to comeback from a 16 – 2 deficit to win the game.

Paul and JV’s incredible two-round comeback was glorious, while Coach and Bushie had trouble stomaching their choke. At least it wasn’t raining men anymore.

PLAYER SPOTLIGHT

Nick may have topped the KPM charts this week at 17.6, but Turley may have been the most impressive player of the night. He finished second in KPM (16.1) while averaging 5.0 gross points per round and 1.35 cornholes per round, and sprinkled a fancy 4-0 record on top of it all. Turley-led teams were also 3-0 against Dibble, 1-0 against Nick, and 1-0 against Galz, and he outscored all of those players head-to-head in every match-up. What the rest of the league should find worrisome is that Turley *only* hit 57% of his shots.

JV went 4-1 and posted a 15.6 KPM (fourth highest) despite all the distractions of being a gracious host. His only blemish was a 21 – 17 loss in Game 4 when he partnered with KP. JV did his job outscoring Jack head-to-head, and scored 11 of his team’s 17 points. However, KP got jail sexed by Nick, preventing JV from a perfect record.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

Many Mushroom Stamp Moments (“MSM”) come during hotly contested matches and are often a swing in momentum or a game-clinching toss. This week’s MSM is neither.

In Game 2 Nick and JV beat Jack and Paul in a blowout, 21 – 6. With the score 12 – 5 after four innings, Nick dropped the hammer on Jack with cornholes on his first two bags, a hole blocker on his third bag, and a push shot to score two cornholes on his fourth bag. The only thing worse for Jack than Nick’s 12-point round was Nick’s aw-shucks attitude after the four-bagger. Four-baggers are so commonplace in Nick’s world that he rarely reacts, often just shrugging his shoulders like Michael Jordan hitting six three-pointers against the Portland Trailblazers in the NBA Finals. Coach Mike named this aw-shucks moment after it happened, “Jack you just got ‘Winklered’!” referring to a nonchalant 12-point round.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Despite being the recipient of the MSM, Jack played some of the best cornhole of his career posting a 10.7 KPM and shooting 55%. His 0.63 cornholes per round can improve, and when it does his KPM will make a huge leap. He finished with a 2 – 1 record, the only loss coming to Nick’s squad in the MSM game
• Coach Mike seemed to find his rhythm and confidence, posting an 11.3 KPM and scoring 0.88 cornholes per round. He had a nice mix of the back-handed taint tickler and the flat bag toss, playing each strategically based on what was required in the moment. It’s great to see Coach confident, playing loose and grooving with the music
• Galz was quietly 3 – 3 overall, but still posted a 15.4 on 61% shooting and 1.19 cornholes per round. He also had the biggest balls of the night, telling Dibble to his face that he was going to finish the bun run, then went out and did it
• Bushie and Paul posted excellent KPMs – 14.7 and 11.3, respectively – yet somehow couldn’t turn their exceptional play into victories, each of them struggling to 1 – 4 and 1 – 3 records, respectively
• Dibble had similar struggles as Bushie and Paul. Great KPM (16.0), accuracy (66%), and cornholes per round (1.19), but it felt empty considering his 1 – 4 record and bun run. Chalk it up to being just one of those nights. The numbers are there, and expect the wins to follow as Dibble continues posting outstanding statistics