NOVI, MICHIGAN – The regular season returned to Novi for the first time since week 1, and the players looked like they were in midseason form, making for an entertaining night of cornhole.

KP hadn’t performed well since week 4, at which point he was #2 in the Power Rankings and had a cumulative KPM of 12.0. Coming into week 8, he was fighting through a three-week slump where he dropped to #3 in the Power Rankings, his KPM tumbled from 12.0 to 11.4, and he was unimpressively 15-10 during that period.

The week 8 homecoming couldn’t have arrived at a more opportune time for KP. He looked like a completely different player, snapping out of his funk to win 4 of his 5 matches (his only loss was a 21-20 stunner in game 6), hit 69% of his throws, scored 4.1 gross points per round and posted a dominating 12.3 KPM.

KP also earned his second straight Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week honor when in game 2 he and Mike M. held a 16-9 advantage after seven rounds over Paul and Erik. In the top of the eighth KP turned it on, draining four straight cornholes to post a perfect 12-point round against Paul. Paul, overwhelmed by KP’s flurry of cornholes, missed all four of his tosses to lose the round 12-0, and the game 21-9.

In game 5, KP was inches away from another 12-point round, with his last bag hanging in the hole. He settled for a 10-point round to clinch a 21-7 win for he and Adam over Coach Mike and Erik. KP averaged a ridiculous 5 gross points per round in that game and led all scorers with 30 gross points, while the next highest player recorded 14 gross points.

It’s going to be intriguing to see if KP can maintain this momentum in the Midseason Singles Tournament.

The final match of the evening featured Justin and Coach Mike against Paul and Adam, which was so thrilling it earned the week 8 Game of the Night. Paul and Adam raced out to an 8-0 lead after the first frame thanks to Paul burying two early cornholes while posting a 7-2 advantage over Justin, and Adam chipped in 3 points after getting the best of Coach Mike, 6-3.

Over the next three frames, Justin fought to keep his team in the game. He outscored Paul 13-7 to give his team 6 points, but he looked up at the scoreboard and still found his team down 15-6 thanks to Adam controlling Coach 14-7 over the same period.

Justin and Coach chipped away at their deficit, closing it to 15-9 when Coach finally came alive in the top half of the seventh. Coach drilled two cornholes and added another scoring bag for 7 gross points, while Adam only scored 3 points. All the sudden the game was tight, 15-13.

Justin focused and tried to seize the opportunity to flip the script on his opponents. He went 4-for-4 in the bottom of the seventh, with all bags on the board for 4 gross points. Paul, however, had 100% round of his own that included two cornholes, giving him an 8-4 gross points advantage and a major answer to silent Coach and Justin’s run. Paul and Adam held a 19-13 lead and were primed to close the night with an impressive win.

Coach kept swinging, landing another point in the eighth against Adam, and Justin again went 4-for-4 with all bags on the board, while Paul managed only 2 points, making the score 19-16. In the top of the ninth, Coach knocked in two cornholes and Adam managed only 4 gross points. The score was 19-18 because Coach was putting a whippin’ on Adam from the seventh through ninth frames, outscoring him 16-9 in gross points.

Justin made it 19-19 after he drained a cornhole en route to outscoring Paul 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth. The bags turned back over to Coach and Adam, which didn’t appear to be a good thing for Adam.

Coach led things off in the tenth with a cornhole on his first throw, while Adam shakily missed his first throw. Coach couldn’t keep the pressure on, as his second throw missed the board. Meanwhile, Adam exhaled relief when his second shot found the bottom of the hole. Coach’s third toss landed on the board, and Adam seemed to find his rhythm when he swished a second straight cornhole on his third throw.

Each player had one throw remaining, Adam held a 6-4 gross points advantage, and Coach needed to score at least 1 point to extend the game. On his last throw, Coach had a little too much “tickler” on his back-handed toss and the bag wouldn’t hold the board, resulting in a 21-19 loss for him and Justin.

The win was Paul’s first of the night, helping him close on a high note after losing his previous five matches. It also helped Adam finish 6-1 overall and exercise his Coach Mike demons.

News and Notes:

• Mike showed improvement during week 8, recording 0.42 cornholes per round which is consistent with a KPM in the mid-7s. The highlight of his night was a 21-9 win over Erik and Paul where he matched Erik is gross points for the game (16), recorded more cornholes than Erik and Paul (4 for Mike and 3 for the other two, respectively), and averaged an extremely solid 3 gross points per round during the game until he struggled through the final two frames. Mike’s cornhole rate is good, but he needs to increase his accuracy to compete more consistently with the rest of the league. More repetitious should help him in the coming weeks.
• Erik is comfortable at KP’s house. He’s played some of his best cornhole there, including this week where he finished 3-3 overall with a 7.1 KPM. He was especially good from the left side of the board, posting an 8.1 KPM. Erik’s accuracy was 47%, which is on the cusp of being good enough for a 9 KPM. However, his issue was lack of cornholes, where he only scored 0.27 cornholes per round. The highlight of Erik’s night was in game 3 when he closed the game against Mike by making his last two bags on the board. In game 8 he partnered with Adam, losing 21-11 to KP and Justin, but he scored 31 gross points and averaged 2.8 gross points per round. If Erik gets out of his head and just throws, he can play with anyone in the league. And at KP’s house, he is more comfortable and confident, which could make for a great recipe for success during the Midseason Singles Tournament.
• Justin was a monster this week, recording a 9.9 KPM, hitting 61% of his throws and scoring 3.3 gross points per round. He was on fire the entire evening, but picked things up after he started slow in his first two games. Throughout his last five games, Justin averaged 3.6 gross points per round, over 34 gross points per game, and 4.2 cornholes per game. Justin also recorded his first 10-point round of the season in game 3, gaining a 10-3 advantage over Coach Mike and helping lead Erik to a 21-15 win over Coach and Mike. He finished the night with a 3-4 record, but he jumped his cumulative KPM from 9.2 to 9.5 and now sits JUST behind Barker and JV in the Power Rankings (9.7 and 9.6, respectively). Justin will be a very dangerous player during the Singles Tournament.
• Coach Mike damn near mirrored Justin this week, also registering a 9.9 KPM, scoring on 62% of his throws, draining 0.44 cornholes per round and scoring 3.3 gross points per round. He played loose and confident all night long, despite only a 2-4 record. In game 9 he was truly dominant, averaging 3.9 gross points per round while partnering with KP to earn a 21-16 win over Justin and Paul. Coach has now strung together two solid weeks in a row, after his 8.9 KPM in week 7. His cumulative KPM sits at 8.9 and he seems to be finding the magic in his back-handed taint tickler as we roll into midseason. Keep an eye on Coach to keep ascending the Power Rankings.
• Paul had a strange night, going only 1-5 but he had a solid 8.3 KPM on 55% shooting, which was one of his most accurate nights ever. He was victim of a few tough 21-16 losses, but outscored Adam head-to-head in game 4, 27-17, and held his own against KP in game 9, losing 32-25 in gross points. Paul was excellent in the Game of the Night, averaging 3.6 gross points per round and essentially drawing even with Justin in gross points (lost only 34-32 head-to-head), which was key to his team’s 21-19 victory.
• Adam was in full beast mode this week, hitting 10.4 on the KPM, scoring on 58% of his throws, knocking in 0.56 cornholes per round and scoring 3.4 gross points per round, helping him to a 6-1 overall record. The highlight of Adam’s night is hard to choose, but is arguably in game 6 when he partnered with Erik to grapple with Justin and KP. Adam and Erik faced a 20-12 deficit late in the game when Adam rallied his team to a 21-20 victory by scoring 7 of the 9 points during his team’s comeback (outscoring Justin 18-11 over the last three frames), including clinching the game with a 7-3 gross points advantage over Justin when the score was previously 20-17. He was extremely impressive in all his head-to-head matchups. He outscored Justin 57-38, Coach Mike 39-35, Paul 50-49, drew even with Erik (11-11), and held firm against KP, losing the head-to-head 40-39. Adam stays at #5 in the Power Rankings this week, with an absurd 10.5 cumulative KPM. He also added four more footsnags to increase his league-leading total to 32.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – The footsnag controversy has returned, bringing out more venom in all players than ever before. Things got testy just three games into the evening when Marco and Bushie matched up against KP and Erik – that’s right, the controversy involves Bushie and KP yet again.

Marco kicked the game off with a 3-1 round over KP, and Erik responded in the bottom of the first with a cornhole on his way to a 5-2 advantage over Bushie. Marco again got the best of KP in the second frame, 3-2 to tie the game, 3-3. In the bottom of the the second both Bushie and Erik struggled to find the board, with each player missing their first three shots.

Erik’s fourth toss hit the board and carried off the back with too much power, but in Marco’s attempt to footsnag the errant throw he actually kicked the bag back on the board and into the hole! Erik was rewarded with a cornhole after what should have been an 0-4 round. Bushie was boiling with frustration after his partner kicked in the cornhole, and his anger got the best of him when he missed his last bag of the round.

Thanks to Marco’s unsuccessful footsnag, KP and Erik held a 6-3 lead going into the top of the third frame. KP rode the wave of momentum with three cornholes and another bag on the board for a 10-point round, while Marco only managed three gross points. KP’s 10-3 gross point advantage gave his team a commanding 13-3 lead, and Erik posted a 4-0 advantage over Bushie in the bottom of the third frame to increase the lead to 17-3.

In the fourth frame, KP made it 20-3 and Bushie finally stopped the bleeding when he scored 1 point for his team (4-3 gross advantage) in the bottom of the fourth frame. With the game wildly out of hand at 20-4, Bushie about the explode, and Marco ready to end the game because he and his partner were at odds, KP ended the misery in the fifth frame with a 5-3 advantage over Marco to clinch the game, 21-4.

KP and Erik used Marco’s footsnag snafu to turn a 3-3 tie into an 18-1 run to win the game. KP’s 10-point round to immediately punish Marco for that snafu is this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week, and propelled KP to a 12 point advantage over Marco during the last three rounds of the game.

Bushie stood on the sidelines during Game 4, complaining to KP about Marco’s footsnag and how it changed the complexion of Game 3. Back to Game 4, when Adam footsnagged his partner, Paul, he turned to KP keeping score and proudly instructed KP to add a footsnag to the stat sheet. Bushie went on a tirade, “You think I’m the gay one, you guys are obsessed with footsnags, rim jobs and all this other shit. Did you know all my gay friends do footsnags? They do them in the clubs and they do them with c()cks. It’s greeeeaaaat!”

Hilarity ensued, including tears of laughter from KP and Erik as they tried to process what the fuck Bushie had just said. Before they could finish wrapping their head around everything, they hear a loud, “MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” come from Bushie as he watched a hot biscuit (attractive female) run down the sidewalk.

The group struggled to recover, wiping tears from faces, holding stomachs because they hurt from laughter and the players tried to regain focus and continue the match. Everyone was encouraged because it appeared Bushie turned his footsnag frustration into comedy and moved on. Not so fast…

During the Game of the Night in Game 6, Adam and Bushie teamed to face Erik and Paul. Bushie requested to go head-to-head

with his favorite LEG member, Paul, which left the top two footsnaggers, Erik and Adam, going head-to-head at the opposite end. Early in the game Paul threw inaccurately and Erik fought Adam at the other end to claim the footsnag. Neither player was able to complete the snag, but they did incite rage from Bushie, who once again complained about how distracting the footsnag is, how it impacts his accuracy and how the rule should be banned from the league.

KP had enough and snapped, yelling at Coach Mike to “shut the fucking music off,” before he insisted Bushie shut up and listen while KP got on his own soap box supporting footsnags. Everything became incredibly tense during the brief delay caused by the footsnag argument, and Adam and Erik decided to do their best to mind their footsnag P’s and Q’s the rest of the game.

Before the explosion, Erik and Paul had built an 8-0 lead behind a great opening frame by Erik (beat Adam 6-1). However, Bushie and Adam ripped off a 10-3 run of their own to close the gap to 11-10 after five rounds, and all 10 net points were provided by Adam, as he outscored Erik 19-9 during that span.

Paul quieted the run in the top of the sixth with a big 5-1 advantage over his predator, Bushie, increasing his squad’s lead to 15-10. Adam made it 15-13 in the bottom of the sixth before turning it back over Bushie, hoping for his partner to provide some help.

Paul wasn’t having any of that, as he dodged Bushie’s butt-play attempts while blanking Bushie 5-0 and advancing his and Erik’s lead to 20-13. Once again, the pressure fell on Adam to keep his team in the game.

In the bottom of the sixth frame Adam drained a cornhole on his way to outscoring Erik 4-0, making the score 20-17. Paul had been dominating Bushie and only needed one point to close the game. But Bushie finally came through when Adam needed him most. He knocked in two cornholes, putting all sorts of pressure on Paul to keep the game alive. Paul had two bags on the board, facing a 6-2 gross deficit with only one throw remaining. At this point Bushie had secured a 21-20 victory unless Paul scored his last bag. Unfortunately for Paul, he couldn’t keep the game alive when he missed his last throw and Bushie celebrated a great comeback victory with Adam, winning 21-20 in a tense thriller.

Coach Mike’s venue continues to prove to be the most challenging in the league, as this week only two players recorded a KPM higher than 10, and only three of the 9 players were above 50% accuracy. That said, the competition was as strong as ever with Barker owning the best win-loss record for the night at just 5-3.

News and Notes:

• Aaron made his LEG debut this week, and was very successful after a slow start to his rookie campaign. He lost his first match of the night before ripping off four straight victories. He ultimately finished at 4-3, and the highlight of his night was in Game 10 when he drilled 8 cornholes, posted a game-high 33 gross points and outscored Bushie head-to-head 33-16. Aaron carried Barker to a 21-17 victory of KP and Bushie. Aaron ended the night with a 7.5 KPM on 0.52 cornholes per round, 2.4 gross points per round, 33% accuracy and posted a 10-point round.
• Marco regained his MVP form this week by recording the highest KPM (11.5) primarily due to a ridiculous 0.88 cornholes per round. He also scored 3.6 gross points per round, shot 46% and finished with a 5-6 record. Marco’s 5-6 record is a testament to the overall competition from all the players, but his 11.5 KPM and two 10-point rounds show how dominant he was individually. Marco held firm at #4 overall in the Power Rankings.
• Adam ended the night with the second-best KPM (11.1) and showed off impressive accuracy (57%) with balanced scoring (0.67 cornholes per round and 3.6 gross points per round). Adam recorded his seventh 10-point round of the season, added 4 footsnags to his league-leading total (28) and jumped to #5 in the Power Rankings after his solid evening. Adam continues to play better and better every week as we approach midseason, and he will be a force to reckon with for the rest of the year.
• Coach Mike has battled inconsistency all year, and this week was no different. He lost games by scores of 21-4, 21-7, and 21-9, where he and his partners all played poorly. He still rebounded to finish the night 4-6 overall with a very solid 8.9 KPM. Coach’s 8.9 KPM is even more impressive considering he was only 42% accurate, but his cornholes per round (0.58) and gross points per round (2.8) were solid. Coach maintained the #10 spot in the Power Rankings and is a scary player because he has top 5 talent when he’s on his game.
• Barker had an off-night with an 8.8 KPM. The KPM is not necessarily the issue…it’s that he was 54% accurate and ONLY recorded an 8.8 KPM. His cornholes per round were extremely low (0.39), and Barker was generally uncomfortable and lacked confidence all evening. He experimented with his throwing style for most of the night before choosing the “butterfly with sore feet” style (high, rainbow throw that lands extremely softly). Barker ham and egged his way to a 5-3 record, but showed some weakness in his confidence. It’ll be interesting to observe how he responds in the coming weeks, because ultimately he still has championship pedigree within him. Will it come out again?
• KP finally had a week below 10 KPM, recording a season-low 9.9 on a near season-low 63% accuracy (his season-low is 61% from week 6). The numbers are still very good, but like Barker, KP hasn’t seemed comfortable since week 4. He finished the night with a respectable 6-4 record, but dropped from #2 to #3 in the Power Rankings after his 9.9 KPM. Galz, who didn’t play this week, jumped from #3 to #2 after KP’s week 7 struggle.
• Paul finished the night with a 7.7 KPM, but was trending much better than that for most of the night. Paul ended the night with only three gross points in Game 19, which killed his KPM. Paul posted a 3-3 record, was 40% accurate, scored 2.5 gross points per round, and knocked in 0.46 cornholes per round. He was also pretty clutch in several moments throughout the evening.
• Erik stayed at #12 in the Power Rankings after his 7.6 KPM, which is impressive given the accuracy struggles he had most of the night (only 36%). His cornholes per round (0.50) were very good, and his 2.4 gross points per round was solid given the accuracy problems he had. Erik also added 2 footsnags on the evening, keeping him in second place for the season and still chasing Adam for the top footsnag spot (he trails Adam 28-18). Erik started the night extremely well when he busted open Game 1 with two cornholes in round 4 and closed the game with a 7-3 advantage (two cornholes and another bag on the board) over Coach Mike to give his team a 21-7 win. He started the night 2-1 before losing 4 straight games to finish 2-5. His 4 straight losses were by scores of 21-20, 21-19, 21-18 and 21-17, which shows how close Erik was to having a very impressive win-loss record.
• Bushie could never find his rhythm. This was his first time playing at Coach Mike’s house, and with all the tension and distractions, he could never get on track. He posted the week-low KPM (6.9) on just 34% accuracy, 2.2 gross points per round and 0.44 cornholes per round. He did have some good moments, including closing the Game of the Night and posted a 5-6 win-loss record. Bushie stays at #11 in this week’s Power Rankings.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The big news this week is that “Gramps” (Tony D’Ambrosi) played in a LEG event for the first time since his semifinal loss in the 2017 Postseason Tournament when he partnered with JV on “Sausage Factory.”

Speculation is Tony needed time away to work on his mental game after his devastatingly sudden end to the 2017 Postseason Tournament. If you ask Tony, he’ll do what any good father and poor sport would do…blame his kids’ soccer matches.

Whatever the excuse, Tony’s “break” appears to be just what the doctor ordered, as he returned with his big Italian dickcopter swinging on everyone. Tony’s 12.5 KPM was a warning shot to the entire league about what he has in store for the 2018 Postseason Tournament. He scored 4.1 gross points per round on 64% accuracy and 0.76 cornholes per round.

Scouting tip for the rest of the league, Tony is better from the left side of the board (at least on this night) so force him RIGHT!

Left Side – 13.3 KPM, 66% accuracy, 4.3 gross points per round, and 0.83 cornholes per round

Right Side – 10.4 KPM, 58% accuracy, 3.4 gross points per round, and 0.56 cornholes per round

Scouting tip #2 – Tony lost head-to-head battles against Galz (40-31 gross points) and Bushie (38-31 gross points), so if you are partners with Galz or Bushie and square off against Tony’s team, make those guys go head-to-head.

As great as Tony was, this night belonged to Galz. He was coming off a horrendous week 5 performance (by his standards) where he shot only 33% and recorded his lowest KPM of the season (9.1). On this night, he was locked in and the best he’s ever been.

Galz set a record for highest KPM at 14.7, which is absurd. He was 71% on his tosses, scored 4.7 gross points per round and drained an INSANE 0.95 cornholes per round! Yes folks, he essentially made one cornhole every round.

And if that wasn’t enough, he cawk punched everyone all night, going 8-1 overall, and tea bagged KP by sinking four straight cornholes in Game 3 to put his second 12-point round of the season on the board. Keep in mind, Galz has the only 12-point rounds of the 2018 season and matches Nick Winkler for most in LEG history with two (Nick recorded both of his 12-point rounds in week 14 of the 2017 campaign).

Galz was so good, it should surprise nobody that he earned this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment. In Game 3 he partnered with Marco and battled KP and JV. Galz was confident. Focused. Cocky. He wanted the head-to-head matchup with KP, who regularly gets the best of Galz (KP owns a 170-164 head-to-head gross points advantage on the season). KP granted the wish and was ready for business as usual…except, not this time. Galz outscored KP 26-14 for the game, which lasted only 3.5 rounds, and led his team to an impressive 21-1 victory. Galz closed the game with a 12-point round in the top of the fourth frame (outscored KP 12-4 in gross points) to propel his team from a 17-1 lead to a 21-1 celebration.

Galz’s 26-14 gross points advantage over KP in this game helped him to a 55-34 gross points advantage over KP on the night (Galz also got him 29-20 in Game 11), which significantly cut into KP’s head-to-head season gross points lead (now 170-164, was 136-109).

Congratulations to Galz for his dominating 12-point round and week 6 MSM!

The dynamic sibling duo of Janet and Ken joined LEG, and made their presence felt by going head-to-head in the Game of the Night. Janet partnered with Coach Mike, while Ken teamed with Bushie in Game 12. Bushie opened the scoring with a 10-point round, outscoring Coach Mike 10-1 to give his team an immediate 9-0 lead. Four frames later he posterized Coach Mike with another 10-point round, besting him 10-4, upping the lead to 17-7.

Down 17-7, cue Coach Mike, right? WRONG! Cue Janet against her brother! Throughout the next four rounds Janet crushed her brother to gain 7 net points (11-4 gross points advantage), while Coach Mike tried to find his back-handed taint tickler.

After Janet closed the deficit to 17-15 in the seventh frame, Bushie jumped all over Coach with a 6-4 gross advantage to make it 19-15. Once again, it was up to Janet to keep the game alive and she promptly drained a cornhole and added another bag on the board to claim a 2-0 net advantage over Ken (4-2 gross points) and tighten the game to 19-17.

In the bottom of the eighth frame Coach Mike discovered how to tickle Bushie juuuuuuust right – he drained a cornhole and landed two more bags on the board on his way to a 5-2 gross advantage and overcame an enormous, game-long deficit. Coach and Janet had faced deficits of 11-1 and 17-7, but now held a 20-19 lead.

The pressure was on Ken to avoid losing to his sister. He didn’t light the world on fire, but he did turn the keys over to Bushie one final time by outscoring his sister 1-0 to tie the game at 20.

Bushie vs. Coach, game tied at 20. What more could you ask for? If you’re Bushie, you could ask for a second chance. Coach swished a cornhole on his first toss to apply all the pressure on Bushie. Coach would only hit one more of his bags on the board, but it was enough to hold off Bushie 4-1 gross, and enjoy a 21-20 rallying win!

News and Notes:

• Galz – really, screw Galz and his great night.
• Gramps finally showed up, and played extremely well. In fact, he played so well that he now holds the #1 spot in the cumulative Power Rankings. Granted, he’s only played one week while his opponents have played several weeks. Everyone should not expect to see Tony again until the end of the season. He takes great pleasure in holding the #1 spot, even if all factors aren’t equal.
• Marco got back to his true form with an 11.6 KPM, 58% accuracy, 3.8 gross points per round, and two 10-point rounds. It’s still hard to understand how Marco didn’t make any noise in the 2017 Postseason Tournament, but he’s playing at an MVP level in 2018 and will be a force to be reckoned with for the rest of the year.
• KP somehow arrived at an 11.0 KPM, despite how he seemed to play very poorly. He went 4-4 on the night, and only hit on 61% of his throws (compared to above 70% for the season). KP is on a downward trend the last few weeks, but still managed to hang on to the #2 spot in the Power Rankings.
• Bushie played the best cornhole of his career, dropping THREE 10-point rounds on the night, recording a 10.5 KPM (his first ever KPM above 10) and going 4-2. Bushie scored on 45% of his throws, but hit 0.76 cornholes per round to demoralize his opponents and drive his KPM above 10.
• JV finally showed true championship form for an entire night. He locked in at 10.4 KPM, and was very accurate at 59%. He averaged 3.4 gross points per round and 0.54 cornholes per round. JV has been on a season-long struggle, and still only sits at #8 in the Power Rankings. More than half a season remains, but it appears JV is struggling to maintain his championship level after having won The Cup.
• Erik seemed to get back on track after having several down weeks. He played very well in week 1, but has been in a downward spiral since then. This week, he found his game again, hitting on 54% of his throws, scoring 3.0 gross points per round, snagging 5 foot snags, and posting an 8.9 KPM. Erik sits at #2 overall in cumulative foot snags with 16, chasing Adam and his league-leading 24.
• Paul had a very good night, scoring 53% of the time (one of his most accurate nights ever), averaging 3.0 gross points per round and 0.46 cornholes per round while producing a 9.1 KPM. Paul sits at #14 in the Power Rankings, but the league shouldn’t forget he was in the semifinals of the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off as Bushie’s partner. The league is filled with talent, and Paul sitting at #14 in evidence of that.

Speaking of deep talent in the league, after six weeks we have six players who own a cumulative KPM at 10 or greater. Nine other players have KPMs ranging from 7.0 to 9.8, which gives us 15 players above 7.0 KPM. The league is thriving, players are excelling and the rest of the 2018 season should be extremely competitive. Everyone is jockeying for prime position in the 2018 Postseason Tournament Draft Lottery, and with the deep talent pool The Cup is up for everyone’s grabs.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – The curious case of KP’s missing sunglasses has been cracked! For those who don’t remember, KP lost his aviators the night of May 5, during the Preseason Kick-Off. KP stumbled into an Uber carrying two cell phones, a speaker, two cell phone chargers, a single cigar, his “MAGA” hat and All-Tournament Team medal. When he woke on Sunday, all items were accounted for, though scattered all over his house like a trail of bread crumbs. However, there were no aviators.

He called and texted the Uber driver from the night before, and the driver didn’t find them. He texted, emailed and called LEG members asking if they found the sunglasses…no luck. So, a few weeks passed, and he remained pissed off about the missing sunglasses until finally he decided to purchase a replacement pair.

But then came week 5…Steve strolls up the driveway, mandingo cigar in his mouth, cooler in his hands and informs KP that he has good news that will make him a happy man. He opens the cooler and voila! The aviators somehow made it into the cooler, which is a very logical place for drunk KP to put them.

Week 5 also marked the first time LEG was played in Clawson at Coach Mike’s house. As you might expect with Coach involved, it was an all-out PARTY! We had strippers in the living room getting it on, and they didn’t leave until 6 in the morning. Ok, that’s not true, but we had 11 guys running two boards, Coach Mike’s boombox blasting bangers for the entire neighborhood, and an industrial cooler full of booze that was damn near empty by the end of the night.

The whole evening was a dark, fuzzy memory for most involved. JV could barely get in the car when his girlfriend so lovingly picked him up. KP woke up Friday morning on Barker’s couch after he and Barker closed Renshaw Lounge after leaving Coach Mike’s place.

The quality of play suffered due to the party atmosphere, with 10 of the 17 matches decided by double digits and only four matches were within five points. However, the Game of the Night was a hell of a match between Steve and Marco, and Paul and Coach Mike.

Steve and Marco dominated early, pouncing on their opponents in the third and fourth frame behind Steve’s 6-0 advantage against Paul and Marco’s 6-1 dominance of Coach, respectively. After the top half of the fourth frame, Coach and Paul were staring at a daunting 13-1 deficit.

But Paul played his best cornhole of the year over the next four frames, going on his own 15-0 run against Steve (outscoring him 16-1 in gross points), while Coach kicked in 4 points (outscoring Marco 10-6 in gross points). Marco and Steve were stunned, grasping for their momentum but instead watched it slip through their fingers. Now they were down 20-13 and on the brink of losing a game they controlled.

This game was all about runs and major momentum shifts, and Paul and Coach had to deal with that harsh reality when Marco edged Coach 3-1 in the eighth, and Steve came alive to cool off Paul with a 5-2 win. The lead was now 20-18, and Coach Mike had a great opportunity to close the game against his nephew. But Coach uncharacteristically missed all four of his tosses in the ninth, and while Marco scored only one bag, he made it count by registering a cornhole to pull off a thriller, 21-20.

Marco scored only 10 of his 36 throws in the game, but NINE of them were cornholes. Paul’s 16 gross points during the middle four frames were extremely impressive, as it also provided a 15 point net advantage over Steve. However, Paul only scored 5 gross points in the other frames, which was a big reason why he and Coach couldn’t clinch the game.

The Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week belongs to Adam, and came in game 7 when he partnered with JV to battle Coach Mike and Steve. Coach Mike had just given his team an 8-4 lead by dropping a 10-point round on JV. In the very next frame Adam answered the bell with his own 10-point round, and a crushing 10-0 win over Steve. Adam’s dominance gave his team a 14-8 lead and they never looked back, going on to win 21-14.

As if the 10-point round wasn’t enough, Adam added 6 foot snags in the game. Congratulations to Adam for earning the week 5 MSM with his impressive and versatile performance.

News and Notes:

• Barker, the Preseason Kick-Off champion, made his first regular season appearance since taking home The Cup. Despite six weeks away, he dominated week 5 with an 11.4 KPM, 60% accuracy, and a 3-1 record. He even teamed up with JV to relive their championship glory in a 21-9 win over KP and Adam. Barker immediately jumped to the #2 spot in the Power Rankings.
• KP had a nice night, going 5-2 with a 10.9 KPM on 65% accuracy. KP also posted a 10-point round against Barker in game 12, which turned the tide and helped lead KP and JV to a 21-18 win over Barker and Steve. KP vaulted into #1 in the Power Rankings thanks in part to his good night, and Marco’s stumble (7.3 KPM, who was previously #1 in the Power Rankings).
• Adam earned this week’s MSM, recorded two 10-point rounds, posted a ridiculous 11 foot snags (which is as many as the second place person has on the season), and went 4-2 with a 10.7 KPM.
• Galz finally had a night below 10.0 KPM, coming in at 9.1. That is still very impressive considering he was only 33% accurate. By comparison, Coach Mike was also 33% accurate and Paul 34% with KPMs of 8.1 and 6.1, respectively. Galz continued to hit cornholes at a high rate (0.74 per round), which kept his KPM above 9.
• Overall, accuracy and KPMs were way down compared to normal, which, as mentioned earlier, is highly correlated to the amount of partying that was done. Of the 11 players, only two (Barker and KP) were above 50% accuracy and eight players ranged from 22% – 38% accuracy.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Week 4 marked the return of Humberto Klein (we call him Bert), which was the first time we’ve seen him since he partnered with JG on “Joe Mixon’s Domestic Abuse Hotline” to win the 2017 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament.

Bert has had great intentions to join the 2018 season earlier in the year, but he finally returned from a 3 week vacation in Southeast Asia. Bert couldn’t have timed his return any better, with Father’s Day only a few days away, considering he fathered a handful of kids during his vacation.

After having 14 months away from the game, Bert showed no signs of rust. In his first game he dropped more hammers than he did on Southeast Asian women, knocking in 9 cornholes while carrying Justin to a 21-11 win over KP and Paul.

Bert was on fire early, winning his first three games of the night 21-11 (summarized above), 21-5, and 21-7.

His fourth game was the Game of the Night where he partnered with Justin in a showdown against Hugh and KP.  Bert immediately punched Hugh in the mouth, jumping on him 5-0 in the first round, and Justin landed another body blow to KP in the bottom half of the round with a 6-3 advantage, pushing the lead to 8-0.

Hugh and KP weathered the flurry of cornholes and promptly rattled off their own 16-1 run over the next five rounds, led by KP scoring 12 of the points (outscored Justin 25-13) and Hugh gaining a 4 point advantage over Bert (outscored him 16-13).

In the top of the seventh round, facing a 16-9 deficit, Bert scored 3 points to close the gap to 16-12 only to have KP up the lead to 17-12 in the bottom half of the round.

Bert tested Hugh’s chin again in the eighth, dealing a devastating blow by draining two cornholes and another bag on the board to post a 5 point round (7-2 gross point advantage) and tie the game at 17.

The game was back and forth with runs, and each team gained and lost momentum. Justin tried to ride Bert’s momentum in the bottom of the eighth by hitting a cornhole and two bags on the board for a 5 point round. But, KP stalled his opponents’ momentum with two cornholes and two more bags on the board to post an 8-5 advantage over Justin and give his team a 20-17 lead.

Bert earned 1 more point in the ninth to keep the game alive, and turned it over to Justin who tried to keep KP from closing out a 20-18 game. KP choked, putting only two of his four bags on the board, while Justin swished a cornhole and added another point on the board for a 4-2 advantage.

The game was tied, 20-20, with red-hot Bert having control to close the game and win his fourth straight match. However, Hugh was tired of being pushed around and came out throwing hay-makers of his own. He put the pressure on immediately by landing his first bag on the board, which was followed by Bert missing his second bag (he also missed his first toss). Hugh put his foot on Bert’s throat with a cornhole on the second toss to snatch a 4-0 advantage with only two throws remaining for each player. Bert, crumbling under the pressure like his Asian victims crumbled to his meat hammer, missed for a third straight throw, which clinched the game for Hugh and KP. Just for good measure, Hugh put his last two bags on the board to post 6 gross points and Bert found the board on his last throw to avoid a donut in the final round. It didn’t matter, Hugh’s 6-1 advantage earned the victory.

Despite six 10-point rounds recorded during week 4, Hugh’s clutch performance against Bert is this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week. Congratulations to Hugh for the MSM and for elevating his performance to slow down one of the hottest players this week.

Game of the Night was a tough decision because game 5 and game 17 were also intense thrillers. Game 5 featured Galz and Bushie versus KP and Hugh, and several huge moments. KP and Hugh jumped out to an 8-0 lead, only to have their opponents chip away and close the gap to 12-11. But Hugh and KP upped the lead to 19-11 in just one round when KP outscored Bushie 4-1, and Hugh dominated Galz 5-1. But Galz immediately regained focus and notched three cornholes on his way to a 9-0 round over Hugh, giving his team a 20-19 lead. In the bottom of the round KP rose to the occasion, landing three bags on the board and one cornhole while Bushie missed all four throws. KP closed the game, a 21-19 win, with a 6-0 final round.

Game 17 pitted Paul and Hugh against Joe and Adam. Paul and Hugh were heavy favorites considering they had played several games and Joe had just arrived from work, was cold and hadn’t yet locked in mentally. None of that mattered, as Joe and Adam held a 13-8 lead in a fairly close game through the first six rounds, thanks largely to Joe drawing even with Paul (each player scored 16 gross points through six rounds) and Adam got the best of Hugh, 22-17. In the seventh round Adam busted the game open, dropping a 10-point round on Hugh to take a 19-9 lead.

Sadly, the underdogs couldn’t close the game despite their 10-point lead late in the match. In the eighth round Paul and Hugh quickly closed the gap to 19-16 behind a 6-1 advantage for Paul over Joe, and a 3-1 advantage for Hugh over Adam.

In the ninth, when Adam needed to find his hot streak, he went cold. Paul had gained one point on Joe to make the score 19-17, and Adam could only get one bag on the board, losing to Hugh 5-1, which was good enough to give Hugh four gross points and his team a 21-19 come from behind victory.

Once again, Hugh was the closer and is even more proof that he deserves the MSM this week.

New and Notes:

• Adam was a monster this week, recording a 12.4 KPM (second-best of the night), going 6-4 with an amazing 0.88 cornholes per round and 54% accuracy. From the left side of the board he was bananas – 15.2 KPM (the biggest KPM we’ve ever seen), 1.09 cornholes per round, 66% accuracy and a 3-0 record. He posted THREE 10-point rounds on the night, two of which were from the left side of the board. Adam also added 3 foot snags to his season-leading total.
• KP posted the top KPM on the evening (13.1), 0.75 cornholes per round and 70% accuracy on his way to a 10-2 record. He also posted his first 10-point round of the season. His big week helped keep him at #2 in the cumulative Power Rankings, which was impressive given Adam and Galz had big weeks in their chase to climb the rankings.
• Galz continues his streak of having a KPM above 10 every week he plays. This week he landed at 10.8 while hitting 0.74 cornholes per round and 49% accuracy. His accuracy was a bit down compared to usual, but his overall game was still excellent and resulted in a 4-2 overall record. Galz also made some bombass ribs for the entire group.
• Bert was dropping meat hammers like he was still on vacation in Southeast Asia. After winning his first three matches, he finished the night overall at 4-4. However, he had the fourth best KPM (9.8), while 54% accurate and knocking in 0.54 cornholes per round. Not too bad after 14 months off. That’s why he’s a champion, folks.
• JV had a strong night, going 6-4 with a 9.8 KPM. He wasn’t as accurate as normal (49%), but had a respectable 0.61 cornholes per round and also posted two 10-point rounds on the night. He dropped from #4 to #6 in the Power Rankings thanks to Adam and Bert’s strong nights.
• Justin made his first regular season appearance and played much better than he did during the Preseason Kick-Off. He ended the night with a 9.2 KPM, 51% accuracy, 0.49 cornholes per round and 3 foot snags. Strangely, these solid numbers only produced a 4-8 record. Justin is a perfect example of where the individual stats that drive KPM are more valuable than analyzing one’s overall W/L record. Nice season debut, Justin.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Just when you think you know everything about Coach Mike, he surprises you again. Last year he demonstrated his versatility when he informed the group of Usher’s herpes. This week, we finally discovered what Coach hides in the YETI he’s drinking every time he arrives to cornhole. Most assumed it might be a Bud Light Lime roadie to get him mentally prepared for the night, or the remains of his morning coffee, providing that jolt of energy we all expect from him.

The truth? It’s Kool-Aid. That’s right, this grown ass man drinks Tropical Punch Kool-Aid…every…single…day.

In case there was ever any doubt, it’s settled now. Coach Mike is the man.

Week 3 was an interesting week, with five of the 11 games decided by by double-digits and no game was closer than 21-14. This week was also a continuation of the sensitive foot snag topic, which was ignited when Erik attempted to foot snag Bushie, his partner, in game 1. Bushie, still fuming from foot snag controversy in week 2, threatened to kick Erik’s ass if he ever tries to foot snag him again. What is it with Erik wanting to foot snag his partners? Also, if there is one person NOT to foot snag, it’s Bushie. The guy already drinks Coors Lights faster than any human can chug water, so there is no beer chugging incentive with snagging Bushie. Erik claims he’ll foot snag any player, partner or not, in order to pad his stats. He’s chasing the 2018 foot snag crown, and doesn’t care about pissing anyone off along the way. Atta boy, Erik.

In game 4, Erik was partners with Paul and once again showed no mercy when he foot snagged Paul. Bushie and Coach Mike looked on in disgust, while Paul bitched about having to chug the rest of his beer. “I’m drinking an Oberon!” he cried. Sorry Paul, rules are rules. Erik made Paul abide by the rules, having to finish the chug before the game continued. Funny, because one week earlier Erik didn’t follow league rules when he was bun run 21-0 by Coach Mike and Marco…

In game 5, we had partner-on-partner crime again when Paul and Adam paired up to face Bushie and Coach Mike. Bushie and Coach Mike cruised to a 21-10 victory, but in the third frame Paul foot snagged an errant toss from Adam. Frustrated by his partner foot snagging him and a 10-3 deficit, Adam foot snagged Paul in the bottom half of the third frame to get revenge, and Paul again cried because he had an Oberon in his hands. Two throws later, Paul missed the board long and Adam was there to clean up the mess with his foot. Adam was cold-blooded, snagging his partner twice in one round and Paul drank every last drop of Oberon to pay his debts.

Not surprising, in the fourth round Paul sent a bag toward the board and it came up three feet short. “That was TERRIBLE!” KP exclaimed, as he kept score. Adam must have felt guilty for contributing to his partner’s horrendous throw because he advised Paul to build his arm strength by having more jerk sessions instead of always having girls do it for him. Little does Adam know, Paul has no girls helping him.

The Game of the Night might not look impressive on the scoreboard, but the drama involved was incredible. Coach Mike and Adam knocked off Galz and Paul 21-12. However, Paul and Galz jumped on their opponent quickly, creating a 12-0 advantage after just three rounds. Paul dominated Adam during the early going, outscoring him 12-3 (gross points), chipping in 9 of his team’s 12 early points. Galz struggled, but still outscored Coach Mike 4-1 (gross points).

More than halfway to a bun run, Paul and Galz were feeling confident and began focusing on shutting out their opponent. But in the top of the fourth frame, Adam started ballin’. He outscored Paul 7-1 to shrink the deficit to 12-6 and eliminate any bun run possibility. Coach rode the back-handed taint tickler to a 4-0 advantage in the bottom of the fourth frame, and in the blink of an eye we had a 12-10 game.

In the fifth and sixth frames Adam bested Paul 10-3 and Coach topped Galz 7-0, including a 4-0 final round to clinch the game. To summarize, Paul and Galz raced to a 12-0 lead after the first three rounds, but Adam and Coach responded with a 21-0 run in the final three frames to win the game 21-12. Galz unexpectedly scored only four gross points in the game, and recorded donuts in the final four frames of the game.

Normally, the Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week is awarded to an individual player who has the greatest moment of dominance during the night. However, this week marks the first time in history the MSM goes to a team. But it couldn’t be more appropriate to award Adam and Coach the MSM for overcoming a 12-0 deficit with a 21-0 run.

Congratulations to Adam and Coach for the week 3 MSM.

News and Notes:

• This week was strange in many ways, as outlined above. But also interesting was the low accuracy rates. Only one player was greater than 50% accurate (KP), while all other players ranged from 35% – 49%. Bushie’s house usually yields higher accuracy, but tonight that was not the case.
• KP was the star of the night, going 5-0 and recording the highest KPM of the evening (12.6). He averaged 0.62 cornholes per round, 4.2 gross points per round and registered an impressive 74% accuracy for the night.
• Galz continued to play well, other than the stinker he had in the Game of the Night where he only had 4 gross points. Despite the one bad game, Galz still had a 10.5 KPM, averaged 3.4 gross points per round and knocked in 0.71 cornholes per round (best of the night) while hitting on 49% of his throws. Galz also continued his run of 10-point rounds, recording two more this week. His first 10-point round was in game 1, where he nailed cornholes on his first three throws and had an opportunity for a 12-point round. His final bag landed on the board and he settled for a 10-point round instead, and that also clinched the win for his team.
• Adam had the third highest KPM of the night at 8.7, driven mostly by his 0.57 cornholes per round. Adam was only 2-5 overall for the night, but played better than his record showed. He also recorded a 10-point round in game 2, a 21-14 loss. He also had 5 foot snags on the night, taking his season total to 10, which is good for the league lead (Erik is second with 9).
• Coach Mike got back on track after a few weeks hovering around .500. He went 5-2 and had a solid 8.5 KPM. Coach was reasonably accurate, making 47% of his throws, but his cornhole rate was down compared to normal (only 0.46 cornholes per round).

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen almost collapsed this week. We had plenty of fireworks, but most of them were related to fighting among league members.

The testiness started right away in Game 1, where Erik and Coach squared off against Galz and KP. In the first frame KP drained a cornhole and added another bag on the board to take a 4-0 lead against Coach Mike, which put Coach on edge. Then in the second frame, Coach managed only 1 of 4 bags on the board and Erik, his TEAMMATE, foot snagged him. Guys, I cannot describe Coach’s fury in my own words. He MF’ed Erik for several minutes, yelled, complained, pleaded to KP about how bad of a move it is to foot snag a teammate. He even threatened to call Erik “Sam” until he earned his real name back with better behavior.

The atmosphere was tense, and that’s when Galz saw an opportunity to make it even worse. He and KP built a 9-0 lead while their opponents fought each other. On the ropes, Erik decided to finally break the scoring drought and seemingly broke some of the tension with his partner. Coach was happy to be off bun run status and vowed that the first point would not be the team’s last.

Insert Galz…attempting to break Coach’s mental game, he taunted him with an offer to bet Coach that they will not score again. A fuming Coach barks that he’ll bet 400 bucks they score again, and Galz propositions his checkbook, suggesting it has unlimited funds.

I’ve never seen Coach so rattled. “Sam” and Coach never scored again, losing 21-1. Coach reneged on Galz’s proposition, claiming a formal bet didn’t exist because hands were not shaken. Galz still got what he wanted, a win and a frustrated Coach.

Sadly, the foot snag topic was just gaining momentum. Bushie watched as all of this unfolded and after the game used the opportunity to make his monthly soap box moment about the bullshit that is a foot snag. He complained about how disruptive the foot snag is to his throwing accuracy (even though the foot snag doesn’t happen until the bag has already caromed off the board) and said the foot snag is banned from the league. KP reminded him that there is only one commissioner and he does not have the power to rescind the foot snag rules. With things on the verge of falling apart, Bushie threatened to quit the league and never host again if the foot snag rule continued. KP called his bluff, saying he can quit over something as stupid as a foot snag, if he chooses.

The entire group was so tense that a bun run happened and wasn’t even communicated to the entire group (we had two boards going, so not everyone saw the shutout). Joe and Erik lost to Coach and Marco, 21-0, and nobody knew about it besides those 4 guys until Friday morning when KP was reviewing the scores for this recap. I assume it was a combination of shame and fear for what Coach and Bushie might do to two nekked men frolicking through the backyard.

Joe and Erik – you will not avoid the consequences of the bun run, so expect to pay the piper in the coming weeks.

Galz made his regular season debut by dropping hammers throughout the night. He averaged a ridiculous 6.4 cornholes per game (best of the night) and 0.72 cornholes per round on the way to an 11.9 KPM (second best of the night).

Galz flexed his muscle in Game 6 when he partnered with Coach Mike to battle Joe and KP. The entire match was a street fight, with Galz and Coach racing out to a 9-4 lead before KP posted a 7-0 advantage over Coach in the fourth frame to give his squad an 11-9 lead. Galz and Coach responded with a run of their own to earn a 14-11 advantage and that’s when Galz took over.

He outscored Joe 7-1, taking a 20-11 lead and putting his foot on Joe and KP’s neck. KP felt momentum punch him in the face, and did his best to keep the team in it. Down 20-11, KP’s first two tosses were cornholes and his third found the board. Meanwhile, Coach had only found the board with one of his bags and KP needed a cornhole to tie the game at 20. On his last toss, KP landed on the board, closing the deficit to 20-18 and needed Joe to somehow silence Galz. But, that didn’t happen…not even close.

Galz put the proverbial teabag right in Joe and KP’s faces by dunking his first two throws while Joe missed his. But Galz wasn’t done. He hit cornhole with his third shot to clinch the match, but now he was chasing rare air…a 12-point round. On his fourth and final toss, Galz found the center of the hole for another cornhole, giving him the first 12 point round of the season and only the fifth in league history. That earned Galz his first Mushroom Stamp Moment of his career.

Galz also had a 10 point round in Game 7 against Erik. Although Erik weathered the storm with a 7 of his own in that round, Galz still led his team to a 21-17 victory.

The Game of the Night was a showdown in game 3 between Galz and Marco vs. Coach and Bushie. This was an intense game of runs, and just when it seemed one team had the advantage, the other team stormed back.

Galz and Marco used a 5 point advantage in the second frame to propel them to an early 7-2 lead, but then Bushie and Coach went on a 13-3 streak of their own to gain a 15-10 lead. Bushie was unstoppable during the run, outscoring Galz by 10 net points (16-6 gross point advantage) and Coach Mike drew even with Marco during the run (16-16 gross points). Marco snagged one point to close the gap to 15-11, but Coach Mike used the back-handed taint tickler to drain a cornhole and another bag on the board, upping the lead to 18-11.

Needing a run in the worst way, Galz started the 10^th frame with two cornholes on his way to outscoring Bushie 6-1, and Marco kept the momentum going in the bottom of the 10^th with two more cornholes as part of a 7-4 advantage over Coach Mike. In the blink of an eye Galz and Marco used an 8 point frame to take a 19-18 lead. In the top of the 11^th frame Galz closed it out against Bushie with a cornhole and two bags on the board, outscoring Bushie 5-3 to win the game 21-18.

Bushie and Coach Mike were extremely accurate and impressively hung in the game despite registering only 8 total cornholes (Bushie with 6, Coach with 2) compared to 18 total cornholes from Galz and Marco (9 for each guy). But Galz and Marco were too much to handle in the end.

Did you notice a theme? Again, it’s all about Galz. He was a bad, bad man this week, earning the MSM, posting a 12-point round, posting a 10-point round and closing out the Game of the Week.

News and Notes:

• Marco deserves some love for his performance this week. He didn’t have as many loud moments as Galz, but he was a stud. He recorded the highest KPM, a ridiculous 12.5, while also earning the highest cornholes per round (0.75), gross points per round (4.0) and second highest accuracy (64%). He also dominated the win-loss column, going 7-3 for the night.
• JV also had a very good night, going 7-3 overall and recorded a 9.7 KPM. He crushed Joe’s spirits in game 11 with a 10-point round, and repeated the 10-point round in game 13 against Bushie to close out the game. It was arguably a Mushroom Stamp Moment of the night, but not quite enough to top Galz’s 12-point round. JV had is most accurate night of his career at 64%, but struggled with cornholes per round (by his standards) with only 0.37. JV is a perfect example of where the new advanced metrics are interesting to analyze – he was great from the right side of the board where his KPM was 10.0; while on the left side he struggled with only a 5.8 KPM.
• KP had another steady night, going 8-4 overall with a KPM of 11.5 (third best of the night). His accuracy continues to be stellar this year; he was 74% for the night and impressively threw 28 straight scoring bags during game 15. In total, he was 31 out of 32 (97% accuracy) for game 15.

New Advanced Metrics:

We are introducing even more advanced metrics, with the ability to now track gross points scored head-to-head (both weekly and cumulative) as well as tracking all our or normal statistics based on a player’s performance on the right and left side of the board.

These advanced metrics will help analyze player tendencies, weaknesses and how they perform head-to-head against other players in the league. Below is a summary of how to navigate the new metrics.

Head-to-Head Metrics

• Cumulative Head-to-Head
  • Columns AM through AP of the Excel file statistics
  • Cell AM3 select the dropdown for the player you want
    • Column AN then auto-populates that players cumulative gross points scored against every player he’s played, while columns AO and AP show the cumulative gross points scored by all the other players when matching up head to head against the player selected in column AN.

For example, if I select Marco in cell AM3, the results I get show his gross points scored compared to each of his opponent’s gross points scored against Marco. He scored 104 gross points in head to head matchups against Galz, while Galz only registered 89 points against Marco.

• Weekly Head-to-Head
  • Columns AQ through AS
  • Cell AQ4 enter the week you would like to analyze
  • Cells AR4 and AS4 select the players you want to compare
    • Cells AR5 and AS5 then auto-populate the head to head results of the players you are analyzing for the week selected.

For example, if you select “2” (for week 2) in cell AQ4, “Marco” in cell AR4 and “Galz” in cell AS4, you will see cell AR5 reveals 104 gross points for Marco and cell AS5 reveals 89 gross points for Galz…the same as you see in the cumulative head to head example above because so far both of those players have only played in week 2.

• Side of Board Performance Metrics
  • Cells B32 and B33
  • Cell B32 select the week you want to analyze and cell B33 the side of the board you want to analyze (right, left or total).
    • The standings and statistics table auto-populates above based on your selections. We began this in week 2, so in future weeks you will also see the cumulative results based on side of the board.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – Only five days after the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament, a few weekly warriors were chomping at the bit to get back on the court and play. To nobody’s surprise, Barker and JV sat out week 1 as they were still basking in championship glory.

Paul and KP, respectively, were hungry to redeem themselves after deep runs in the Preseason Kick-Off, only to come up short to Everybody Poops. Coach Mike and Erik were both bounced from the Preseason Kick-Off much earlier than anticipated, while Adam had to leave the tournament early because of poor planning with his wife.

All five guys battled extremely windy conditions during the opening regular season week. Despite the difficult conditions, the level of play from all five guys was incredibly impressive. Everyone had a KPM above 8, which is an indicator of an average night, but four of the five guys were above 9.5 on the KPM, which put them on the fringe of a great night.

The Game of the Night featured Erik and Coach Mike vs. Paul and KP in game 3. The game was a dogfight through the first three rounds until KP blew things open in the fourth round with a 6-1 advantage over Erik, helping his team take a 13-7 lead. Paul and KP stayed hot over the next few rounds and built the lead to 19-8. Coach Mike outscored Paul 4-0 in the eighth round, but KP registered a 2-1 advantage over Erik in the same frame to push the lead to 20-12. Paul and KP were on the verge of a big win, but in the ninth round Erik and Coach Mike showed how clutch they are by combining to outscore their opponents by 5 points (Erik crushed KP 7-3, while Coach got the best of Paul 3-2) to pull within 20-17. In the 10th round Coach Mike got the back-handed taint tickler right where Paul didn’t want it, besting him 5-1 to cap a fantastic comeback victory, 21-20.

Erik led the way with 7 total cornholes in the game, and also added 2 foot snags, while Coach Mike also knocked in 6 cornholes during the match.

The first Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) of the 2018 season goes to Erik, which also happens to be his first MSM of his career. In game 1 Erik dropped a 10 point round in Paul’s face to propel Erik and KP to a 15-11 advantage in the match. Paul had been talking shit all game, trying to get in Erik’s head, and he responded with force. Paul and Adam ultimately rallied to win the game 21-16, so Paul got the last laugh. However, Erik’s 10 point round was the most impressive moment of the night.

Congrats on your popping MSM cherry, Erik!

News and Notes:

• KP started the night losing his first two games, but rallied with four straight wins to close the evening at 4-2. He also posted the highest KPM of the night at 11.9, driven by what might be the highest accuracy week in league history at 73%. His accuracy was aided significantly by hitting 14 straight tosses at one point…pretty impressive numbers considering the wind was a major factor for all players on this night.
• Erik not only earned the MSM, but he also registered a 9.9 KPM, which was second-highest on the night. Keep in mind, a KPM of 10 means you’re having a great night, and Erik certainly did. As mentioned, Erik knocked in a 10 point round, but he also had two additional 9 point rounds, each of which he slammed cornholes on his first three tosses and had two chances to record a 12 point round, but caved to the pressure. Erik had the most total cornholes on the night (32) as well as the highest cornholes per round (0.59) and hit 44% of his tosses, which was very solid in the strong winds. He finished with a 3-4 record, but his individual play took a huge leap forward this week. He also showed off his versatility with 4 foot snags.
• Coach Mike finished the evening with a 3-3 record, and an impressive 9.7 KPM. Coach was very accurate, at 49%, and continued his high cornhole rate at 0.51 cornholes per round. Maybe the most impressive thing about Coach’s night is that he finally recorded the first foot snag of his career! We didn’t have a “CoachFeed” session this week, where Coach share’s the latest in celebrity gossip and pop culture, but he did bust out his dance moves all night, which was worth the price of admission.
• Adam also had an excellent night, finishing with a 9.5 KPM and a 4-2 overall record. He also picked up where he left off in 2017 with his foot snag game by gathering 5 snags. He’s the early favorite for the 2018 foot snag championship, which we know he desperately wants after falling just 1 snag short of the 2017 title to JV. Adam might have been the most accurate he’s ever been, going 46% on the night. Normally Adam’s night would be one of the top two mentions in News and Notes, but everyone had great nights, which makes it seem like Adam is a bit overshadowed. Don’t be fooled though…Adam was ballin’ in the Preseason Kick-Off before he had to leave, and he was playing extremely well in week 1. Adam looks primed for a big jump in the 2018 season.
• Paul’s overall record was only 2-5, but he actually played well, recording an 8.2 KPM, hitting 43% of his tosses and finishing with more total cornholes than KP (23 vs. 21, respectively). Also, Paul’s crushing loss in the Game of the Night flipped a 3-4 record to 2-5. Again, everyone played very well in week 1 and Paul was one of them.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Great anticipation built as the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament approached, with a record number of players participating (19). The first May weekend brought us sunshine, warm temperatures, Cinco de Mayo and The Kentucky Derby…all the perfect ingredients for a drunken debacle.

The draft format was based on silent auction donations, which helped raise money toward Bushie’s food costs, and much needed equipment repairs (sorry for those who experienced blown-out bags). Thank you to everyone who donated, and thank you to JV for the draft idea. The combination of the draft format and talent pool from all the new guys resulted in the most competitive tournament field we’ve had yet…more on this momentarily.

ROUND ROBIN

JV earned the rights to the #1 overall draft pick based on highest donation, and he promptly selected three-time runner-up, Barker. Clearly JV read my Kick-Off preview prior to making his selection (for those who didn’t read, Barker was my pick to win the tournament). JV’s selection was a good one, but it pissed KP off and motivated him all day to prove he was worthy of the #1 pick.

As previously mentioned, the competition in this tournament was the deepest we’ve had and evidence of that was in round robin play when Podunk Hopscotch Mafia (partnership of Adam and Rob) mushroom stamped JV and his “savior,” 21-3. KP overheard this result and talked a lot of shit, reminding JV of the player he should have taken at #1.

Style Crew (partnership of Paul G. and Steve-O) had Michigan Moose Knuckles (“MMK,” partnership of Ryan Harvey and KP) on the brink of an 0-1 round robin start as they took a commanding 17-6 lead. Paul, who was one of the best dressed on the day, came out slaying the Michigan Moose Knuckles and Steve-O calmly puffed his Mandingo cigar as he helped throw cornhole hay-makers at MMK. Ryan and KP finally got their heads together and ripped off a 14-3 run to tie the game at 20 before KP clinched the game by landing his final bag on the board for a 21-20 comeback win.

Caption: Paul, looking like a GQ model, watches Ryan in his Rey Mysterio mask and wonders what the fuck he signed up for.

Style Crew ultimately earned the #8 seed in bracket play, while MMK earned the #1 seed by going undefeated. Again, another example of the depth of competition when the #8 seed should have knocked off the #1 seed.

Back to Podunk Hopscotch Mafia (“PHM”), they used momentum from their win over JV and Barker to go 3-1 during pool play and earn the #2 seed. They looked great, and were a favorite to win the whole damn thing until Adam had to leave the tournament, crippling Mafia’s chances at a championship.

Los Tres Amigos (partnership of Gals, Mike McDonald and Jason S.) also played well during round robin action, going 3-2 overall. Jason was stuck with the last pick of the draft and had only Ace and Gary…errrr, Gals and Mike, as his choice. Los Tres Amigos was motivated to show the field they were a force to be reckoned with, and did so by earning the #4 seed.

One of the more disappointing performances of the day was from Dirty Mike & The Boys (partnership of Coach Mike and Justin), who looked like a very strong team, but landed at only the #6 seed after an up and down round robin display. Coach had his Bud Light Lime and back-handed taint tickler going, while Justin looked accurate and hilarious rocking his sombrero and Selena t-shirt. However, they couldn’t close games after taking leads late into every match.

Caption: Coach Mike watches Justin’s toss, wondering how to get his team back on track.

Bracket seeds based on round robin results were as follows:

#1 – Michigan Moose Knuckles (Ryan & KP) – First place Pool B
#2 – Podunk Hopscotch Mafia (Adam & Rob) – First place Pool A
#3 – Everybody Poops (JV & Barker) – Second place Pool A
#4 – Los Tres Amigos (Mike M., Gals and Jason) – Second place Pool B
#5 – Team Ramp (Paul & Bushie) – Third place Pool A
#6 – Dirty Mike & The Boys (Coach & Justin) – Fourth place Pool A
#7 – Avocado Buttholes (Dan & Matt) – Third place Pool B
#8 – Style Crew (Paul G. & Steve-O) – Fourth place Pool B
#9 – Derby de Mayo (Hugh & Erik) – Fifth place Pool A
#10 – No Show (Tory & Marco) – Fifth place Pool B

TOURNAMENT

The opening round of the tournament went chalk, with all favorites advancing besides #5 seed Team Ramp (partnership of Paul Teich and Bushie) knocking off #4 seed Los Tres Amigos. Sixth seeded Dirty Mike & The Boys couldn’t handle #3 seed Everybody Poops, despite KP’s strong rooting interest for Dirty Mike & The Boys.

Dirty Mike & The Boys continued their slide, facing elimination against Avocado Buttholes (partnership of Dan and Matt). But that’s when it seemed Dirty Mike & The Boys had found their groove, with Justin and Coach Mike plugging the Avocado Buttholes en route to a commanding 18-3 lead. However, not even Dirty Mike & The Boys could keep the Buttholes tamed as Dan shook free with 5 cornholes in 2 rounds to close the deficit. Ultimately, Coach Mike and Justin couldn’t regain their grip on the Avocado Buttholes and their tournament came to a premature end with a devastating loss.

Avocado Buttholes rode momentum from their huge comeback to a quarterfinals appearance before ultimately losing to Podunk Hopscotch Mafia. But their 4-3 overall tournament record as the #7 seed was very impressive.

Caption: Avocado Buttholes in action, eliminating Los Tres Amigos from the tournament.

Team Ramp lost the #1 vs. #5 match in the Winners Bracket to Michigan Moose Knuckles. But when Michigan Moose Knuckles lost to #3 seed Everybody Poops, they dropped to the Losers Bracket and faced a rematch with red hot Team Ramp, who had romped their way to two straight dominant wins in the Losers Bracket. Team Ramp avenged their first loss by beating MMK in the Losers Bracket. Bushie was on fire and Paul, decked out in his rainbow poncho, made timely cornholes to hold off MMK. All the sudden, the #1 seeded MMK had lost two in a row and faced elimination.

After a lot of chalk in the early rounds of the tournament, things had become crazy…#3 Everybody Poops and #5 Team Ramp played for a berth in the Championship match, while the #1, #2 and #4 seeds fought to avoid elimination in the Double Losers Bracket.

Team Ramp gave Everybody Poops all they could handle, but Everybody Poops continued to improve as the match went on and more beers were consumed, winning a close one to advance to the Championship match.

In the Double Losers Bracket, Michigan Moose Knuckles knocked off a tough Podunk Hopscotch Mafia team in the quarterfinals to earn one final rematch with Team Ramp, with the winner advancing to the Championship match. MMK won the rubber match with Team Ramp, eliminating Paul and Bushie after they had a great tournament run.

The Championship match featured #3 Everybody Poops vs. #1 Michigan Moose Knuckles, and MMK had an uphill battle needing three consecutive wins to claim The Cup, while Everybody Poops only had to win one match to take home the trophy.

Once again, Everybody Poops found themselves in an early deficit and had to battle from behind. Ryan and KP did their best to hold off Everybody Poops, but KP’s IPAs caught up to him and he was falling over the edge of the board on nearly half his throws. Barker and JV can handle their booze a lot better, and they were better players on this day, fighting back in match 1 to win 21-17 and claim the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament Championship.

Caption: Everybody Poops couldn’t be happier to claim The Cup.

Barker and JV played great in the tournament, going 6-0. The Championship meant a lot to both players, but especially to Barker who had finished the prior three tournaments as the runner-up. Both guys are worthy champions, and celebrated the moment in style by drinking from The Cup (see “Championship Drinks” link directly below).

Championship Drinks

They also showed class by giving respect to Michigan Moose Knuckles after the match, which is more than we can say about last year’s Kick-Off champions, Joe Mixon’s Domestic Abuse Hotline (Bert and JG).

Caption: The Champs give respect to the runners-up.

Caption: JV’s championship moment was reminiscent of Michael Jordan with the Larry O’Brien Trophy.

ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM

The 2018 Preseason Kick-Off All-Tournament Team was voted by all players, and the top four players receiving votes were named to the All-Tournament Team. Coming as no surprise, both JV and Barker earned All-Tournament honors and they were joined by KP and Hugh. Hugh’s representation on the All-Tournament Team goes to show how strong of a player he is, earning respect from the rest of the field, despite his team, Derby de Mayo (partnership of Hugh and Erik Wolfe), earning the #9 seed and going 1-3 in tournament play.

Caption: 2018 Preseason Kick-Off All-Tournament Team.

The 2018 season has officially been kicked off, and we did it the right way. Thank you to all 19 guys who played and made this a fantastic day, and a competitive tournament. I hope to have all of you back for future tournaments, as well as the weekly regular season play.

MISCELLANEOUS PICTURES

Enjoy some pics from the rest of the day. Sorry I got hammered and stopped taking them as the day went on.

Caption: 19 deep before the day starts.

Caption: The last men standing…

Caption: KP says if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.