BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Something about Beverly Hills brings out the best in each of our cornholers. Every time Bushie hosts the competition level seems to be up a few levels. Maybe it’s the great music. Or maybe it’s environment, the Augusta National of cornhole that is Bushie’s backyard. Whatever the case, cornhole in Beverly Hills is a helluva time and last night was no different with 9 of 17 games decided by 6 points or less, including 5 of those games decided by 4 points or less.

For the first time since week 1, the top player of the night did not come from either JG or Nick. Both of those guys had a solid 4 week run as the weekly Big Man on Campus. But that title rests with Barker and Mike for week 6, as each guy went 6-3.

Mike showed his versatility by averaging 18.8 points per game and grabbing 2 foot snags (most of the night). Mike also teamed with Joe in game 6 to take down Nick and Steve 21-20, in what was the best game of the night. Mike also still holds the best individual round of the season, as he is the only player to record a cornhole on all 4 throws (done in week 4). Mike’s 6-3 record improves him to 15-13 overall, good for a 6th place tie with Tony.

Barker averaged a ridiculous 19.0 points per game (best of the night) and an even more impressive +5.1 scoring differential. He made a run at Mike’s best round in Game 9 by holing 3 of his 4 throws, including holing 2 bags on one throw…he knocked one in, he didn’t throw 2 at once. 🙂

Barker was 6-1 before ending the night on a 2 game losing streak. His 6-3 record takes him back to .500 overall on the season, which is good for an 8th place tie.

When a player as good as Barker is hanging on to that last spot in the Cornhole Draft Lottery, it should highlight how competitive this league is. Bring your A-game every week or you’ll find yourself on the wrong end of things really quickly.

Nick found that out the hard way. He finished a respectable 5-4, but wasn’t up to his usual standards last night. Despite a sub par night, Nick still sits in second place overall.

Joey V. had a strong night, going 3-3 overall with had 3 monster wins. Of the 5 games decided by 4 points or less, Joe was on the winning end in 3 of them. We already mentioned the highlight of the night in game 6, but in game 11 Joe teamed with Nick to take down Barker and me, 21-18. It was dark, the flood lights were squarely on Joe as his team was down big and he needed to rise to the occasion. Joe’s family member may be up for Supreme Court of Michigan election, but Joe’s big nut sack decided to run for cornhole president on this turn. He holed 3 of his 4 throws against Barker to win 21-18.

But, there’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee, too – it says, fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again. Barker and I didn’t get fooled again, winning the rematch, 21-14.

Bushie shed his “Kim” cloak and went 3-7 on the night. He was involved in several close losses, and was much better last night than in week 4. He also showed off some sexy new Spartan boards.

Steve made his season debut, and although he went 4-9, it’s very clear he’s got game. The lefty had the most total points on the night and had the 4th best scoring differential of all players at only -0.9. The 4-9 record is not indicative of the player Steve is. He’s a sleeping cornhole giant.

Thanks again to Bushie for hosting.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – For the fifth straight week we saw no dong at “LEG”. Even more disappointing is despite 3 blowouts, there wasn’t even a threat of dong exposure. One of these days 21-0 will happen, and we’ll see a bun run. It’s like a 16 seed beating a 1 seed…only remotely possible, but if/when it happens it will be glorious (unless it’s me).

The game of the night featured JG & Joe vs. Mike & Nick. It was a battle of wills, with each team exchanging hay makers round after round. It was a long, hard fought battle with each team scratching and clawing point by point. Is everyone tired of the cliches yet? Really though, it was a great game with each round netting only 1 or 2 points and both teams exchanging leads throughout. Ultimately, JG & Joe shocked the world in a 21-18 win.

Week 5 saw another shift in the power rankings with JG overtaking Nick for first place after going 5-2 compared to Nick’s 2-2 record. Nick held the advantage in points per game and scoring differential over JG, but the 21-18 win by JG & Joe swung the standings in Jeff’s favor.

I had the highest week 5 points per game and scoring differential, which carried me to a respectable 4-2 record. I still sit in 5^th place overall, just behind the third place tie between Josh and Brad.

Tony sat home this week and still climbed the power rankings because of Mike’s 2-4 record in week 5. Way to rise to the occasion, Tony.

Speaking of Mike, he had the back-handed t@int tickler approach working for him all night. He also played cornhole pretty well, despite a 2-4 record. Mike was victim of a few very close losses, 21-17 and 21-18, respectively. Every inch matters, Michael. Hang in there.

Lastly, Joey V. went 1-4 this week and the only thing keeping him out of the power rankings basement is the padding provided by the 0-7 record of Bushie/Kim, also known as “Bushie Kim”.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Last night was a great night of cornhole, and Bushie was an amazing host. Bushie, thanks for the hospitality, food, and willingness to let a few of us linger until almost midnight.

Week 4 yielded a shift in the power rankings with Nick taking over first place, JG right behind him and Josh dropping to third (formerly on top) after his sluggish 2-3 record. In fairness to Josh, he was struggling with diarrhea all night. Can’t be easy to hold your follow through when you’re uncertain about shitting your pants. That said, Josh still registered 2 foot snags despite a faulty “trap door”.

Nick was the most outstanding player with a 6-3 record, and led the night in scoring average (again) at 18.6 per game and scoring differential with a silly +6.1 (nobody else was higher than +3.7). Nick and JG were on their way to even better records until Barker and I took 2 of 3 games from them late in the night.

Other highlights of the night included:

• Barker showing up halfway through the night despite a terrible day of work. He never disappoints folks.
• A huge win for Joe and me over JG and Mike, 21-19. The win was impressive because we were underdogs, but also because “Kim” (aka Bushie’s neighbor; aka “THO” – stands for titty hard on…Joe noticed her braless nipples poking out all night…good eye, Joey; aka “Does anyone besides Bushie actually know her name?”) called Joe a loser in the pregame and Joe responded like any coldblooded Italian would…by shoving his bag in the cornhole over and over and over again. Thanks for rising to the occasion Joe.
• JG and I overcoming a 20-11 deficit to Mike and Bushie to win 21-20 in dramatic fashion.
• Barker and I taking 2 out of 3 games from the powerful duo of JG and Nick. I know I mentioned this already, but it needed to be said again.
• Mike going 3-1 to close the night.
• “Kim” staying up until almost midnight watching us studs play under the lights.

Mike and Tony made their league debuts, each going 7-6. Both are very talented players and are forces to be reckoned with if they keep playing. The fact that players as good as these two barely got above the .500 mark tells you about the quality of the league.

Joe had his best week of the year going 4-4, including some serious quality wins over the likes of JG and Mike, and Tony and Josh. Joe’s 4 wins last night doubled his previous season total of 2, and his point differential last night was almost breakeven, whereas he’s -6.3 for the year in point differential. Joe is starting to make noise and is eyeing a rise in the standings.

Bushie struggled to an 0-7 record, but 2 of his 7 loses were really “Kim” playing in his place. Sorry Bushie, but you get her losses because she’s your neighbor. Bushie’s true record was 0-5, but he had the heartbreaking 21-20, come-from-behind loss to JG and me, and a tough 21-16 loss to JG and Tony. He wasn’t far from having a record close to .500. Plus, he rivaled JG for the “Looks Best in a T-Shirt” award.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – Week 3 of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (“LEG” for those who have not read the bylaws) was the strongest turnout of the season with 7 guys showing up, including 2 new faces in Brad and Lucio. The night started off with a dandy match up that saw Lucio register his first win of the season in a 21-19 win for Lucio & JG over Josh & Joe. The game also had serious foot snag action with Josh snagging 3 and Lucio snagging 1…Lucio still never drank all the required beer from Josh’s snags on his errant throws.

The night ended with a JG & Brad win over Lucio & KP, 21-18. JG & Brad jumped out to a commanding double-digit lead early, only to see Lucio & KP storm back and take a 17-14 lead. That’s when JG took over. In the final frame JG positioned his team with a 22-18 lead (final scores are capped at 21, however), and I had one final throw left to extend the game. One on the board did nothing, so I needed a cornhole. It was dark except a sliver of hope coming from the small garage light. Joe and Nick stood anxiously in the background talking about nekked men in an attempt to distract me (or maybe that was all in my head), and JG stood confidently still holding his pose from his previous cornhole. I confidently tossed the final bag, online, tracking toward the hole, but ultimately landed a inches beyond the hole as it bounced and fell long off the board. I choked on an extra-large bag of tiny penis whistles. We lost.

That game had yuuuuuge implications because the win kept JG in second place overall ahead of Nick (a JG loss would have vaulted Nick to second place by fractions of a winning percentage). It also was the deciding game in the standings between Lucio and Brad, kept my overall record at .500 on the season, and cost me a shot at having the best winning percentage in week 3. It’s fun when there is that much at stake, and every week we seem to be building more of these situations.

Josh remains on top of the power rankings after a respectable 3-2 record in week 3 and a 7-3 record overall. He also has a commanding lead in foot snags with 9 in just two weeks of action. JG is right behind in winning percentage at 13-6 overall after his 4-2 week. Nick is 9-5 overall after a 4-2 week 3, and also led the league in scoring and scoring differential this week. Nick also received a, “Nick is a good player” comment from Josh, which is saying something because Josh never compliments anyone. Nick is a good player. In fact, an argument can be made for any of the top 3 guys as the early league MVP.

Brad and Lucio had very good debuts. Brad finished 3-2 overall, while Lucio was third overall in points per game, second in scoring differential and also registered 3 foot snags this week.

Joe struggled to an 0-7 record, including a few blowout losses. However, every week Joe gets better. This week his throws had more arch on them, he scored with more consistency and 3 of his 7 games were very winnable.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – After nearly 3 weeks off since week 1, we finally regrouped to play the week 2 slate. While week 1 was competitive with 3 of 6 games decided by 2 points or less, week 2 was completely opposite. We played 8 games, the closest match was 21-15, and 5 of the 8 games were decided by 13 or more points.

The highlight of the night was JG’s unconsciousness. The guy barely missed the board, regularly scored ringers, and easily led the week in individual and team scoring (note – individual scoring is not tracked). He was dominant in a 21-14 loss to Nick and Joe (reading between the lines, I was his shitty partner) by scoring 13 of the 14 team points. JG had a ridiculous +7.3 scoring differential on his way to a 6-2 record last night, improving his overall record to 9-4, good for second place on the season.

Nick finished the night 5-3, and also turned in an impressive individual performance. Unofficially, Nick had the most rounds where all 4 bags were on the board or in the hole. He was very consistent attacking the board, and although he didn’t hit the hole as much as JG (but who does?) he now holds third place overall after his solid week 2 performance.

Joe finished the night 2-6, improving upon his 0-4 record from week 1. Joe is finding his rhythm and had some dominant rounds throughout the night. He was a key part of a 17-4 run in Game 3 where he and JG curb-stomped Nick and me 21-7. Joe also rivaled JG for most clutch performer on the night. Any time Joe had to score to extend the game, he answered the bell and often did so with a ringer. It seems once Joe finds the hole, he hits it…often.

Then there’s me. About the only positive thing to say is I had the only foot snag of the evening, but I attribute that more to the other guys not trying than me having good foot snag skills. I finished a mediocre 3-5, and my wins were mostly because of my partners carrying me. I was very inconsistent, and probably had the top 5 worst throws of the night. I’ll blame most of my performance on being distracting by Joe talking about banana hammocks (you had to be there). My 13.4 points per game and -3 scoring differential in week 2 may look better than Joe’s numbers, but I was easily the worst player last night. I’ll be repping all weekend to get better for next week.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – Week 1 of the corn hole league had a lot of excitement with 3 of the 6 games decided by 2 points or less, and JG and Joe avoiding a naked run through the Maples community when they broke a 19-0 deficit late in the game with two clutch points to get on the board. They lost 21-2, but their self-esteem is still intact.

Josh stands alone at the top of the standings with a 4-1 record in team play, and won the only head-to-head match-up this week against Joe, 11-5. Josh also flashed his ridiculous soccer skills by leading the night in foot snags with 5 (note – if you don’t know what a foot snag is, you’ll know soon enough). Overall, Josh went 5-1 in week 1, but the metrics show Barker may have been the best player last night, despite his 2-3 record. Barker leads the league in total scoring, scoring per game and scoring differential. He also found a ridiculous, yet effective pitching method that resembled a much less athletic Joe Dumars rainbow from downtown. Speaking of athleticism, Barker showed absolutely none by finishing last in foot snags with 0. In fairness, he was wearing sandals and when not pitching bags he had a beer to his lips. But I can’t make excuses for him too much longer. Use those feet bro.

JG had a dead arm early, but recovered nicely to finish 3-2 overall. Once he had a few beers and forgot about the wedding planning appointment he attended right before league play, he was dominant.

Joe finishes week 1 at the bottom of the standings at 0-4, but was victim of a 21-20 loss to Josh and JG, and also pushed Josh in their head-to-head match-up for most of the match. Joe was also way too sober to be playing, which I expect will change in the coming weeks.