CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – League expansion is always welcomed, and every player in the league has the green light to invite friends. The league commissioner trusts the judgment of the other players to evaluate if someone will be compatible with the rest of the league, and add to the quality of it both on and off the court.

While the league commissioner has that trust, JV very clearly does not.

JV and KP arrived early this week intending to assist Coach Mike with set-up and get a jump start on beverage consumption. Coach began discussing the friend he invited to join during week 5.

Coach: “His name is Scott Dibble. You can just call him Dibble.”

KP: “The more the merrier! I assume he’s going to fit in with the rest of the guys?”

Coach: “He’ll fit in. He likes to party and loves cornhole. He’s really good. He’s probably better than Galz, and will be near the top of the league. He could probably play with the guys on ESPN if he practiced as often as they do.”

Those words carry hefty amounts of weight. As Coach walked into the garage JV and KP reacted to the hype.

KP: “Better than Galz, huh? Best in the league? Could play with the guys on ESPN? This should be fun.”

JV: “Fuck this Kimmy Gibbler guy. I can’t wait to kick his ass tonight.”

Just like that, JV’s fire was stoked and KP’s excitement to score-keep was at an all-time high.

FULLER HOUSE?

Moments later an unassuming guy walks up the driveway in camouflage shorts and glasses. THIS is Kimmy Gibbler…errr, Scott Dibble? THIS is the guy who is going to dominate the league?

JV glanced at KP, ready to whip his dick-copter out and go Bob Saget on the new guy’s ass.

So naturally in Game 1 of the night, JV finagled his way into going head-to-head with Dibble. JV wanted a piece of him so badly that he agreed to partner with his arch nemesis, Paul, to take on Dibble and Coach Mike.

Dibble was granted first throw honors, and he promptly sank a cornhole. JV launched his first bag and missed the board. Oh shit!

Dibble’s second toss landed perfectly in the middle of the board and slid beautifully into the hole. JV then missed the board with his second toss. OH SHIT!

Was Dibble really going to post a 12-point round with the first four bags of his LEG career? If so, how do we ban this dickhead from the league?

Thankfully Dibble’s third toss missed the board, causing JV and KP’s blood pressure to fall a few notches. He still punched JV in the mouth in round one, winning 7-1 thanks to two consecutive cornholes.

Like true champions often do, JV responded in round two. He sunk two cornholes and bested Dibble, 7-4. In rounds two through six JV outscored Dibble 27-17 and was the primary factor in his team’s 20-14 advantage.

In the top of the seventh round JV and Paul held a 20-14 lead and JV had honors to throw first.

JV Toss #1 – cornhole!

Dibble Toss #1 – cornhole!

JV Toss #2 – cornhole!!

Dibble Toss #2 – on the board

JV Toss #3 – missed the board

Dibble Toss #3 – missed the board

Dibble may be every bit as good as Coach Mike hyped him to be, but lesson #1 in this league is DO NOT fail to capitalize on one of the few opportunities JV gives you to beat him. JV had a 6-4 advantage and missed his third toss – Dibble needed to pounce on him, especially being down 20-14 in the match. The errant third toss by Dibble showed some weakness.

JV Toss #4 – on the board

Dibble Toss #4 – he needed a cornhole to tie the round (7-7) and extend the match, but JV’s bag was the perfect blocker to defend against a cornhole. Dibble loaded up, delivered his final bag firmly toward the hole, but missed. His bag came to rest in the upper right portion of the board, and he had lost the round (7-5) and the match (21-14).

JV looked over at KP with a fist pump, and KP smiled, both inside and out. Welcome to the league, Dibble.

In fact, Dibble is damn good – at least on this night. His overall record was middle of the road at just 8-6, including a combined 3-4 against JV and Galz (1-2 against JV, 2-2 against Galz). The rest of his numbers were elite:

• 14.6 KPM on 65% shooting, averaging 4.7 gross points per round and a ridiculous 1.02 cornholes every four tosses
• He had two 12-point rounds and two 10-point rounds
• In the fourth round of Game 11 Dibble flashed his excellence. Two of his first three bags came to rest near the hole, while the third bag missed the board. His final toss carried all the way to the hole, clipping the other two bags and dragging them through the hole. A 9-point shot! It’s not the Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week because it was early in the match, extending a 3-2 lead to 9-2…but, it was against JV.
• Dibble outscored every opponent head-to-head except Paul, who actually dominated Dibble in their only match-up (more on Paul later):
  • Won head-to-head with Marco – 140 – 135
  • Won head-to-head with JV – 70 – 66
  • Won head-to-head with Galz – 42 – 29
  • Won head-to-head with Adam H. – 108 – 61
  • Won head-to-head with Jack – 36 – 28
  • Lost head-to-head with Paul – 23 – 41

The neighborhood just got tougher – but any Dibble dominance won’t come easy.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This might be the hardest decision of the night. Not only because we played 23 games in week 5 (special shout-out to the commissioner and best scorekeeper in the world, KP, for score keeping two games at once), but because 10 of those 23 games were decided by 5 points or less.

Many of those 10 games decided by 5 points or less are contenders for Game of the Night, but the ultimate winner was the thriller in Game 16 featuring Dibble and Marco vs. Paul and Adam H. On paper, this looks like a complete mismatch, and that’s no disrespect to Paul or Adam H. Dibble and Marco are powerful players who can generate explosive rounds at any moment, whereas Paul and Adam H. are good, steady players.

Well, paper played itself out in real life through the first four and a half rounds with Marco and Dibble racing out to a 13-6 lead with Marco putting the team on his shoulders and dominating Adam H. during that span (25-15).

But in the bottom of the fifth, Paul drained a cornhole and added three more bags on the board en route to a 6-3 advantage over Dibble, giving his squad the juice it needed.

Adam H. closed it to 13-10 in the sixth with a modest 3-2 advantage over Marco, and Paul continued the surge with a 3-0 drubbing in the bottom of the sixth to tie it at 13 apiece.

In the seventh, Marco overpowered Adam H. to reclaim the lead at 16-13, and it looked to be the type of knockout blow you’d expect from Marco and Dibble – one that most assume Paul and Adam H. couldn’t handle.

But assuming makes an ass out of “u” and “me.” Paul was on fire and rolled Dibble, 8-4, in the bottom of the seventh, giving his team a 17-16 lead. Adam H. chipped in with another point, making it 18-16 in the top of the eighth round.

Going into the bottom of the eighth, Paul had dominated Dibble, 31-18 throughout the game. He and Adam H. were on the verge of potentially the biggest upset of the 2019 regular season, but Paul needed to deliver one more time in the clutch.

Unfortunately for Paul, he landed all four tosses on the board but couldn’t register any cornholes. His four gross points were still better than Dibble’s three, boosting his team’s lead to 19-16. But, the bags were turned back over to Adam H. who faced a dangerously explosive Marco.

Marco sank two cornholes in his first three tosses (the other toss missed the board) and Adam H. managed only two bags on the board while missing his other two. Marco held a 6-2 advantage with one bag to go, needing only one bag on the board to give his team a 21-19 win. He loaded and fired, but he had too much heat on the toss as it hit the board and slid long and off.

Adam H. and Paul exhaled, but still had to dig themselves out of a 20-19 hole. In the bottom of the ninth round Paul drained a cornhole and tossed three perfectly placed blockers on the board for 6 gross points. Meanwhile, through three tosses Dibble had two on the board and missed another bag. He was down to his final throw staring at a 6-2 deficit and needing a cornhole or else the game was over. Sound familiar – needing cornhole on a final throw to extend the match or it’s game-set-match? Indeed, Dibble faced the same situation in Game 1 against JV.

Once again, Dibble delivered the same result. He launched his final toss, going for an airmail to avoid Paul’s three blockers, and missed the board. Paul and Adam H. did the unthinkable! They pulled the 21-20 stunner over Dibble and Marco!

Paul was incredible, outscoring Dibble, 40-23, and averaged 4.4 gross points per round thanks to nine total cornholes (in just nine rounds). Adam H. played well, but couldn’t keep pace with Marco’s cornhole rate (Marco held a 7-1 cornhole advantage on Adam), losing that head-to-head match, 40-25.

ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID, NEVER A BRIDE

Runners-up for Game of the Night were Games 8 and 10, which we’ve briefly recapped.

Game 8

Match-up: JV and Dibble vs. Galz and Jack

Recap: JV and Dibble jumped out to a quick 12-0 lead in the first round thanks to Dibble routing Jack, 9-0. But Galz and Jack went on a 16-1 run over three rounds to take a 16-13 lead, highlighted by Galz sinking seven cornholes and outscoring JV 8-7, 10-6, and 7-1 during that run.

They pushed their lead to 19-15 before Dibble and JV came roaring back with their own 6-0 run to close and win the game 21-19. The game was tied at 19 and Dibble clinched the win with a 4-1 advantage over Jack.

Highlights: Galz won the head-to-head with JV, 38-33, while Dibble outpaced Jack, 36-28. Both Galz and Dibble knocked in nine cornholes apiece during the nine round game.

Game 10

Match-up: JV and Galz vs. Paul and Marco

Recap: You thought JV and Dibble’s 12-0 start through round one was impressive in Game 8? Well, JV and Galz held a 17-0 lead after two rounds against Paul and Marco. The dynamic duo combined for nine cornholes in two rounds (that’s 9 of 16 tosses going for cornholes), with JV besting Paul 8-2 and 6-4, while Galz crushed Marco 7-5 and 9-2.

Paul and Marco could’ve thrown in the towel, but they chipped away at the deficit, crawling out of the hole with an 18-3 run behind the cold spell from Galz that allowed Marco to outscore him 21-10 during the run. On the other end, Paul got the best of JV, 23-19, closing the margin to 20-18.

With the game on the line, the bags were in the hands of enemies in a tense head-to-head match. Could Paul drive a stake in JV’s heart yet again? No this time – JV was accurate with all four bags on the board, while Paul landed only two on the board. That 4-2 advantage was enough for JV and Galz to recover from almost blowing a 17-0 save.

Highlights: JV topped Paul head-to-head, 37-31, and Marco edged Galz, 28-26. Interestingly, Galz only scored 26 gross points despite registering the most cornholes of any player (seven). Excluding his seven cornholes, Galz was a horrific 5/17 on his remaining throws, which was a big factor in the Paul-Marco comeback.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

THIRTEEN 10-point rounds and two 12-point rounds were posted this week, so deciding on the MSM was extremely difficult. However, this week’s award goes to Coach Mike for completely turning Game 6 around. He and Marco were down 15-8 to Galz and Dibble when Coach dropped a 10-point round (10-4 scoring) on Galz in round five, igniting his team to 10 net points in the fifth round to claim an 18-15 lead. They held on for a 21-20 comeback victory and it was all initiated by Coach’s 10-point stamp on Galz’s forehead.

BUN RUNS!

Adam H. was welcomed to LEG the hard way – by getting bun run twice this week! JV was the dealer on both occasions:

• Partnered with Marco in Game 7 to shutout Adam and Mike T. in just two and a half rounds! JV and Marco drained six combined cornholes in just 20 tosses and Marco scored a 10-0 TKO on Mike T. It was an impressive 21-0 victory, and JV was so excited he joined in the bun run action.
• Partnered with Dibble in Game 13 to shutout Adam and Marco, this time in three rounds! JV and Dibble swished 11 combined conrholes in 24 tosses, capped by Dibble’s 12-point round to win the game.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Marco pushed Dibble for top KPM of the night, coming in at 14.5 (Dibble was 14.6) thanks to 73% shooting, a ridiculous 0.89 cornholes per round and 4.7 gross points per round. His record was a modest 6-6, but he was excellent all night including three 10-point rounds – one of which negated the impact of a Dibble 12-point round.
• Galz was hot and cold, but was hot more often than not. He posted a 13.4 KPM thanks to 0.88 cornholes per round, 63% shooting and 4.3 gross points per round. Galz recorded the most 10-point rounds of any player this week (four). He also sneaked out a 7-4 record when almost all the other guys hovered around .500 for the night.
• JV was hellbent on teaching Dibble the ABCs of LEG, and he did just that. JV finished with a 13.2 KPM, which was lower than Dibble’s because of too much whiskey and Squirt throughout the night. But his 68% shooting, 0.78 cornholes per round and

  

  4.3 gross points per round were all elite measures and he also saved seven games out of seven tries. His record was incredible given the competition (10-3) and he added a footsnag for good measure.

• Paul crossed the 10.0 KPM line for the first time in his LEG career! He strolled into the clubhouse at 11.3 KPM for the night. Paul’s accuracy has been very good all season (tonight 59%), but he typically struggles to make cornholes at a high clip. This week he scored them at 0.65 per round, and that was the difference with elevating his KPM.
• Coach Mike earned the MSM and a 9.1 KPM. He shot 48% and knocked in 0.53 cornholes per round, leading to 3.0 gross points per round. Coach continues to build confidence each week, resembling the ice cold killer from 2016 and 2017.
• Mike T. may have found his game. The rookie posted a career-best 8.7 KPM, which doesn’t jump off the stats page when comparing to the heavyweights above. What you need to understand is Mike is a multi-time dart league champion – that means he has talent and championship pedigree that will eventually translate to cornhole, and he finally figured out his stroke midway through the night. Early on his KPM sunk to the 5 – 6 range, but he turned it on in the second half of the night and drove his KPM to 8.7. He made more cornholes than usual (0.53 per round) and his accuracy was much improved (44%). The tide turned for Mike in Game 17 when he outscored Coach, 36-32 and dropped seven cornholes. Keep an eye on Mike for the rest of the season – he’s rounding into form at the right time.
• Jack was 2-3 overall and was reasonably accurate (44%), but he couldn’t score any cornholes (only 0.33 per round) on a night when every other player was hitting for three. His KPM suffered because of it (7.2), but he had some impressive moments throughout the night, including outscoring Dibble, 28-27, over eight rounds after losing the first round, 9-0, in Game 8.
• Adam H. played well in his debut, logging an 8.7 KPM on 54% shooting. He couldn’t hit cornholes with the pace the others did (only 0.38 per round), but played well most of the night despite finishing with a 2-9 record. The highlight of his night was in Game 14 when he was toe to toe with JV and held his own, losing only 46-42 and weathering the storm of 14 cornholes from JV (Adam had nine cornholes of his own).

NOVI, MICHIGAN –

“I am a real American”

“Fight for the rights of every man”

“I am a real American”

“Fight for what’s right – fight for your life!”

These lyrics echoed from a Jeep as it turned on Cypress Way. JV and KP halted their tournament setup progress to lookup. Before the Jeep clicked into park, the driver’s door swung open and out stepped Galz Hogan.

He didn’t turn the car off, didn’t close the driver’s door, didn’t lower the theme music. He stepped right up to KP, grabbed his hand holding an invisible mic, and sent a message to JV. In short, “I’m coming for you, brother!”

Yes, Galz was coming for JV, but “you” meant 16 other guys vying for The Cup.

LEG was once again the epicenter of the cornhole world as 18 players arrived at the 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament, decked out to celebrate the 1980’s.

Coach Mike hopped out of an Uber looking like Run-DMC with a boombox already blasting Cypress Hill and a cooler full of Bud Light Limes in the other hand. The tournament theme was to honor Coach (and Bushie, Steve-O, and Tony – all of whom couldn’t participate) for turning 50 years old in 2019 by throwing things back to his college years.

He was the guest of honor, and he was dressed to kill.

DRAFT LOTTERY

The draft lottery was completely random, with the ping pong balls deciding teams rather than giving the players any option to draft their partners. The commissioner felt it was the most logical way to create balanced teams, and it seemed to work.

Two sets of ping pong balls were numbered 1 – 9 and entered into the lottery wheel. The two players who randomly drew ping pong ball #1 were partners, and so on. The resulting teams were formed:

Team Name	Player 1	Player 2
Dego ‘N Oates	Marco	Scott
The Mega Powers	Galz	Matt Meyer (“Meyer”)
Larry Bird is His Uncle!	Coach Mike	Dan
Cornholios	Jeff Vack	Brian Parr (“BP”)
District 5	KP	Paul G.
2010s	Pierson	Paul
Three Inches is Better Than Nothing	JV	Mike T.
Cinco de Drinko	Bert	Kyle
No Whammies	Ryan	Barker

On paper, two dominant teams stood out – Dego ‘N Oates and The Mega Powers – while the remaining teams were extremely balanced. No Whammies looked dangerous because of two-time champion, Barker, and the first-ever champion, Ryan Harvey.

Larry Bird is His Uncle! was also a paper-contender thanks to the rapidly improving Dan Ranville, and the veteran explosiveness of Coach Mike.

JV and Mike were a big mystery because Mike was making his first LEG appearance, but they were hell-bent on forming the most ridiculous team name just so KP had to engrave The Cup in case they won, Three Inches is Better Than Nothing.

ROUND ROBIN

Not only were teams randomly drafted, but the round robin schedule was also randomly decided prior to formation of teams. Nine teams each played four round robin games, the results of which were used for seeding the triple elimination tournament.

The dominant teams on paper turned out to truly be dominant in the round robin session. Dego ‘N Oates won all four of their games, outscoring their opponents by a ridiculous 84-30 margin and their closest game was a 21-11 win over District 5.

As good as Dego ‘N Oates was, The Mega Powers somehow found a way to more dominance. Galz Hogan was unbelievable, making cornholes look effortless and leading his team to a perfect record (4-0) by outscoring opponents 84-24. Their closest game was a 21-8 victory, which happened twice (poor District 5 and 2010s).

Thanks to a larger margin of victory, The Mega Powers earned the number one overall seed and Dego ‘N Oates claimed the number two seed. Both teams were on opposite sides of the bracket and seemed primed for a collision course to meet in the late stages of the tournament.

The remaining seven teams licked their wounds from the top two seeds and took turns beating the hell out of each other. Four squads finished 2-2 in round robin: Larry Bird is His Uncle!, District 5, Three Inches is Better Than Nothing, and No Whammies.

Cinco de Drinko was ready to party from the moment the first bag was tossed, and they were aggressively foot snagging their opponents. They finished round robin 1-3, but might’ve had the most impressive win in round robin for any team not named The Mega Powers or Dego ‘N Oates. Kyle found his rhythm and Bert showed signs of his 2017 championship form when they dominated the talented Larry Bird is His Uncle! in a 21-13 win.

Pierson and Paul, 2010s, prevented Cinco de Drinko from joining the 2-2 club when they knocked them off 21-15. Both 2010s and Cinco de Drinko finished round robin with 1-3 records.

Cornholios struggled to score, finishing with just 20 total points after four round robin games (losses of 21-4, 21-5, 21-1, and 21-10). In fairness, they were ripping shots of Fireball and the beer was flowing like water. BP was a blur of neon and tie dye awesomeness, while Jeff’s mustache interfered with every aspect of his game, other than downing booze like a proud drunken republican. The rookie duo finished round robin at 0-4, and firmly as the number nine seed.

The tie-breakers were analyzed, seeds were locked, and the triple elimination Royal Rumble was on:

 

 

TOURNAMENT

After a win-less round robin, Cornholios pulled an upset in game 1 against Cinco de Drinko. Booze calmed their nerves, and the “woosh” sound of BP’s windbreaker pants every time he stepped to throw distracted Bert just enough to allow Cornholios to hang around in this game. As we all know, the longer an underdog hangs around, the bigger threat they become. Cornholios pulled a stunner, scoring more points (21) in the victory than they did in four round robin games (20). Their reward? A date with The Mega Powers.

Another mild upset occurred in the #4 vs. #5 match-up when Larry Bird is His Uncle! topped Three Inches is Better Than Nothing, 21-16.

Coach Mike didn’t know if he should fill JV with mouthwash and put him in his mouth, or drop cornhole after cornhole on his ass. Thankfully for all of us Coach decided to drop cornholes.

During post-game interviews Coach celebrated on the sidelines getting “tricky” with his gyrations. Meanwhile, a distraught Magnum P.I. (Mike) couldn’t stop telling KP all about his three inches.

No Whammies exploded in the first round, embarrassing District 5, 21-1. Barker and Harvey (combined three LEG titles) seemed poised to make noise. But that quickly ended in the second round when #2 Dego ‘N Oates handled them easily, 21-12.

The winner’s bracket collision course between the two best seeds came to fruition after The Mega Powers dealt a bunrun to two straight opponents, beating #9 Cornholios and #5 Larry Bird is His Uncle! 21-0.

Rules are rules, and the victims payed homage to the bunrun tradition – BP, Jeff, and Coach Mike all chose calisthenics sandwiched between Fireball shots, while Dan honorably pranced a naked lap around the house.

Once bunrun festivities settled down, the winner’s bracket heavyweight showdown captivated everyone. Galz had an incredible sense of urgency as the match kicked off – the aspiring champion knew remaining undefeated would give his team an excellent opportunity to not only make the championship match, but win it.

Dego ‘N Oates were shaky early, hitting the board but unable to drop cornholes, opening the door for The Mega Powers to capitalize. The Mega Powers built an enormous early lead, pinning their opponent on the mat. They kept them down for the three count in a 21-7 statement victory.

Dego ‘N Oates looked to regroup in the loser’s bracket against a mess of parity.

After an encouraging tournament start with an upset victory in the #8 vs. #9 game, Cornholios subsequently lost three straight matches, including the bunrun discussed earlier, and exited the tournament. BP and Jeff didn’t make the rookie splash they hoped for, but they gained valuable experience and grew with every game in the tournament.

After going 1-3 in round robin with a few close losses (21-16 and 21-17) 2010s (Paul and Pierson) hung with Dego ‘N Oates for a while before losing 21-12 in the first round. Unfortunately they couldn’t ride much momentum to produce positive results the rest of the way, as they were bounced from the tournament with consecutive losses to Cinco de Drinko (21-16 and a sickening 21-20 loss) after beating Cinco de Drinko in round robin.

Cinco de Drinko proved to have at least the heartbeat of a champion behind the versatility of Bert. They finished the tournament 2-3 with the wins over 2010s, but had the head-scratching loss to #9 Cornholios and a devastating 21-20 loss in the loser’s bracket to District 5.

In the end, the mix of a former champion (Bert) and a rookie (Kyle) was enough to be extremely competitive but not a true threat to win The Cup, as they were eliminated by Three Inches is Better Than Nothing in the double loser’s bracket.

For the first time since 2017, Barker and JV were separated and forced to battle one another. The random scheduler allowed them to avoid meeting in round robin, but the tournament is the ultimate storyteller, creating drama and intrigue with almost every match. In the loser’s bracket players grabbed a beer and were glued to the head-to-head match between former teammates.

Even their partners ratcheted up the intensity – Mike undid the top few buttons on his Hawaiian shirt and Ryan strutted by JV, muttering “You’re going down fucker,” as he backhand tapped JV in the nuts. JV threw a full Labatt Blue Light in retaliation and

Barker shouted, “Easy, JV!” from the other end of the court. From championship partners to enemies. It was lovely, like when Macho Man Randy Savage turned his back on tag team partner, Hulk Hogan, over jealously with Miss Elizabeth.

JV, like Macho Man, took a lesson at the knee of his former partner. Barker bent JV over and spanked that ass again and again, not letting up until he and Ryan had clinched a 21-7 victory. Did JV ride Barker’s coattails during their championship runs in 2018? Like Hogan, was Barker the real muscle behind this dynamic duo? It certainly looked that way.

JV was never the same, and Three Inches is Better Than Nothing fell to the double loser’s bracket where they were later eliminated after a second loss to Larry Bird is His Uncle!.

District 5 featured Paul G. and KP, who finds himself in year 4 of LEG and still chasing championship dreams. They were absolutely throttled in the #3 vs. #6 match-up with No Whammies (21-1), but seemed to find solid footing with back-to-back 21-20 victories in the loser’s bracket over Cinco de Drinko and Larry Bird is His Uncle!.

Sadly for District 5, they lost even in victory over Larry Bird is His Uncle!. They were down late in the match, 20-19, when KP fired a bag with hopes of draining a cornhole and ending the match. As KP threw, he crashed to the ground in pain with a knee injury, forcing him to withdraw from the tournament. Paul was incredible, handling the adversity of a fallen partner and a 20-19 deficit to outscore Coach Mike in the next frame and win the game, 21-20. District 5 advanced to play No Whammies, but

Paul G. and Barker found themselves without partners after KP’s injury and Ryan was disqualified for violating the league’s substance abuse policy for the second time in his career – really hard to do considering the substances allowed to be abused.

Paul G. and Barker agreed to partner and form the “new” District 5, while No Whammies was gutted and forfeited the last two matches after starting the tournament 2-1.

In the loser’s bracket, District 5 had their hands full with Dego ‘N Oates and a trip to face The Mega Powers in the balance. Dego ‘N Oates was fresh off a humiliating loss to The Mega Powers, eager to get back on track against an upgraded District 5 team compared to the one they crushed 21-8 in round robin (Barker substituted for KP).

As he always does late in tournaments, Barker began to find his groove and Paul G. did an excellent job of stalemating Marco. They stood toe-to-toe with Dego ‘N Oates deep into the match, but Marco and Scott put too much pressure on their opponents with their exceptionally high cornhole rate. That pressure broke District 5’s pipes in a thrilling 21-19 win for Dego ‘N Oates.

District 5 needed that win for confidence and proof that the new partnership was championship caliber. They couldn’t secure victory and in the very next match in the double loser’s bracket, the red-hot Coach Mike and Dan (Larry Bird is His Uncle!) punched a one-way ticket for District 5 to go home.

THE HOME STRETCH

Larry Bird is His Uncle! pulled the #4 vs. #5 upset victory in the first round and were subsequently bunrun by The Mega Powers, sending them into a tailspin where they lost their next match and faced elimination in the double loser’s bracket.

With backs against the wall, Coach and Dan excelled and won four straight matches, including avenging a 21-20 loss to District 5 to earn a bid in the semifinals. Their opponent? Let’s get to that…

The Mega Powers vs. Dego ‘N Oates part deux was an enormous match. If The Mega Powers win, they march immediately to the championship match undefeated. If Dego ‘N Oates win, they even the score and instantly play a third match with The Mega Powers with a trip to the championship on the line.

The rivalry didn’t disappoint, as Dego ‘N Oates had revenge on their minds and championship dreams in their hearts. They knocked The Mega Powers from the ranks of the undefeated, winning 21-17.

Larry Bird is His Uncle! waited as chapter three of The Mega Powers vs. Dego ‘N Oates needed to be written. For the third time in the tournament, these heavyweights squared off. Once again, Marco and Scott applied so much pressure by sinking cornhole after cornhole. Galz is equipped to hold-up under these conditions, but Meyer is not – he’s an impressive rookie, but his game is suited for accuracy on the board, not repeated cornholes.

Dego ‘N Oates won again, 21-14, sending the #1 seeded The Mega Powers to the double loser’s bracket to face upstart Larry Bird is His Uncle! in an elimination match.

Larry Bird is His Uncle! had celebrated their four straight victories and semifinal appearance a bit too much during the two games between Dego ‘N Oates and The Mega Powers. Coach Mike was standing on the deck, shirt off, pounding Bud Light Limes as he sang “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” better than Whitney could ever dream. Meanwhile, Dan STILL wasn’t wearing pants and claimed his fistful of gummies were “CBD only.” They were a goddamn mess, and were in no condition to upset The Mega Powers in the semifinals, losing 21-10.

It was a great run for Larry Bird is His Uncle!, with Dan playing the best he’s ever played and reaching his second semifinals ever. Coach Mike was the powerful bully we grew to love in 2016 and 2017 when he was one of the best in the league and claiming a spot on all-tournament teams. He played excellent while also proving to be the best ‘80s DJ in metro Detroit.

The championship match was set, and really wasn’t a surprise to anyone – Dego ‘N Oates (9-1, counting round robin) vs. The Mega Powers (8-2, counting round robin). The teams entered the title match with a combined record of 17-3 with all three losses coming to one another. The key this time is Dego ‘N Oates only needed one victory to claim The Cup, while The Mega Powers had no margin for error, needing to win two straight matches for The Cup.

Scott had been here before and possesses the poise to navigate the stress of a championship match. He’s won a title and finished runner-up, so everyone expected him to play at a championship level. The question for Dego ‘N Oates was if Marco could continue to perform at a dominating level under the pressure of a championship.

The first game might have been the best of all between these two teams, with no team ever holding more than a four point advantage. Meyer’s underrated skill of being able to draw even with his opponent was crucial in this game as he kept Scott from having a game-breaking round. That allowed Galz to throw knockout blows at Marco. The Mega Powers somehow found a way to squeak out a 21-18 win to force one final game for all the marbles.

It was only appropriate to play a fifth and final game between these two dominant teams since each team had a 2-2 record against the other. Confidence is a fickle thing, and suddenly The Mega Powers overflowed with it, while Dego ‘N Oates were a bit rattled.

Galz is an extremely dangerous cornhole threat on every toss, but he’s a special talent because of his versatility. Sure cornholes are sexy, but his bag placement to play defense and create poor angles for his opponent is almost more valuable than the

three points he registers for every cornhole. He displayed this skill in the final game, causing all sorts of problems for Dego ‘N Oates and helping The Mega Powers romp to a 21-8 victory to claim the 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Championship!

Galz was clearly a stud, but Meyer was the straw that stirred the drink. He elevated his play and his head-to-head stalemate of Scott in the first game of the title (fourth game overall between the two teams) made this championship possible.

Congratulations to Galz and Meyer for etching their names in LEG championship lore. Can these Mega Powers stay together

for more historic moments? Can Galz join a select few LEG greats as players to claim both the Preseason and Postseason titles in the same year? Those questions are for another day. For now, they’ll enjoy this one.

ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM

The 2019 Preseason All-Tournament Team consisted of the top four players based on votes cast among all players. Galz was voted to his second-consecutive all-tournament team after carrying The Mega Powers to The Cup. Marco and Scott earned their first all-tournament team honors after an impressive runner-up finish, and Coach Mike earned all-tournament team honors for the third time in his career (2016 and 2017 Postseason tournaments), taking home his first tournament MVP honor after leading Larry Bird is His Uncle! to a semifinal appearance.

The 2019 League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Preseason Kick-Off Tournament is less than 24 hours away, so let’s dive into what to watch for and some intriguing story lines of the tournament.

CHAMPIONSHIP PEDIGREE

The Preseason Kick-Off Tournament will feature five past champions who’ve combined for seven titles. Humberto Klein (2017 Preseason Kick-Off Champion), Ryan Harvey (2016 Postseason Champion), Scott Garavalia (2017 Postseason Champion), Brent Barker (2018 Preseason Kick-Off Champion and Postseason Champion), and Jeff Valantas (2018 Preseason Kick-Off Champion and Postseason Champion).

Odds are excellent that one of these guys will drink from The Cup at the end of the tournament.

WHAT ABOUT THE NEW GUYS?

The 2019 Preseason Kick-Off will feature four players who are making their LEG debut, and two more players (Pierson and Paul G.) who are playing in only their second LEG tournament.

The following players are making their LEG debut:

• Mike Turley
• Kyle Dillard
• Jeff Vack
• Brian Parr

With one-third of the field having little experience, and no track record for the remaining 12 players to evaluate their skills, this should create a lot of balance and unpredictability.

DARK HORSES

LEG has never had this much parity, and there are several players who are capable of hoisting their first Cup.

Marco Bonanni hasn’t found much tournament success in his career, but he has been a beast during the regular season, including 2018 when he finished the season with an 11.0 KPM and averaged an amazing 0.75 cornholes per round (good for third in the league). Marco runs hot and cold, but when he’s hot, nobody in the league can rival his game.

Coach Mike had a sluggish 2018 season, but he’s been an intimidating presence in 2016 and 2017, and so far his 2019 season is off to a great start. Last week he posted a 9.7 KPM and shot 58%, but more importantly, his patented back-handed taint tickler looked dangerous again. If Coach lets the groove get in, his opponents are in for a very long and frustrated day.

Adam Rymill is one of the most improved players in the league, steadily climbing the Power Rankings year-over-year. Last year he finished 7^th in the Power Rankings (out of 23 players) with a 10.9 KPM on 55% shooting and averaged 3.5 gross points per round. Adam was also the league leader in footsnags with 43 for the year, adding another dangerous weapon for his opponents to consider. For the new guys – footsnags are when you control an errant toss on your foot (like a hacky sack) without letting it hit the ground. The person who threw the bag has to drink half their beer before play resumes. Adam is the best in the league at this strategy.

THE FAVORITES

It’s easy to pick JV or Barker, both of whom partnered together in last year’s Preseason Kick-Off and Postseason tournaments and won both titles.

No doubt these guys will be in the hunt again, especially considering Barker has won two titles, finished runner-up twice and his worst tournament finish was a semifinal appearance (2017 Preseason Kick-Off, as Stockton Malone).

Scott Garavalia is likely to contend for the title considering he has a championship and a runner-up finish in his only two tournament appearances. He also has great family tradition to honor, since his brother JG is a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen legend (two LEG championships and an MVP award).

Andrew Galczyk (known as “Galz”) was the 2018 LEG Rookie of the Year, finishing second in the Power Rankings with a 12.0 KPM and averaged a league-best 0.78 cornholes per round while adding 58% accuracy. Galz finished runner-up in the 2018 Singles Tournament and gave Nick Winkler (another LEG legend) all he wanted in the championship match. He also partnered with Bushie to make a run to the semifinals of the 2018 Postseason Tournament.

PREDICTION

The 2019 Preseason Kick-Off has all the ingredients to be the best tournament in history. We have a strong group of unknown players who will likely be X-factors in the outcome of the tournament, and five past champions who undoubtedly will stand in the ring and take everyone’s best shot.

A preview is worthless without a prediction, and my prediction history has been pretty good (last year I picked Barker to breakthrough and win the Preseason Kick-Off).

Galz burst onto the scene in 2018 and has been arguably the best individual player in the league since his arrival. He almost won the Singles Tournament and carried a Coors Light-loaded Bushie to the semifinals in the Postseason. This feels like Galz’s moment – Bell’s Two Hearted from The Cup! Cobra Kai!

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The first two seasons of LEG had the feel of Big Ten football during the 1970’s when two men, Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler, dominated the league, causing pundits to rename the conference, “Big Two, Little Eight.”

LEG had two dominant players, Jeff Garavalia and Nick Winkler, claim all the hardware in 2016 and 2017:

• 2016 LEG MVP (Nick)
• 2016 Postseason Championship (Nick and Ryan Harvey)
• 2017 Preseason Kick-Off Championship (Jeff and Humberto Klein)
• 2017 LEG MVP (Jeff)
• 2017 Postseason Championship (Jeff and Scott Garavalia)

The domination was maddening, and seemed insurmountable for everyone else in the league except for Brent Barker, who’s teams finished runner-up in two of those three championship tournaments.

But the rest of the league kept working at our game, everyone reaching for greater heights to become the newest challenger for The Cup. The thing is, Jeff and Nick made the league better. Their excellence pushed the rest of us to improve, deepening LEG’s talent pool. Iron sharpens iron.

The depth of talent was obvious when 16 players arrived to compete for the 2018 LEG Postseason Tournament. Eight of those 16 players held a 9.9 KPM or higher during the 2018 campaign,  two more players (Bushie and Paul) marched to the semifinals of the 2018 LEG Preseason Kick-Off Tournament as teammates, and Coach Mike is a wily veteran with a killer instinct, capable of going on a run few others can match. The remaining five players were light on experience, but heavy on potential – Crockett, Aaron, Greg and Jack all made their LEG tournament debut, while Dan was ready to build off a quarterfinal appearance in his only other tournament.

Draft Lottery

One of the most entertaining aspects of these tournaments is the Draft Lottery, which has historically not only presented unpredictability in the draft order, but also served as an edge-of-your-seat reveal of hilariously embarrassing pictures.

The Draft Lottery structure rewards the best players throughout the regular season by giving them the best odds at the top pick. Using the 2018 cumulative KPM, the Draft Lottery odds were as follows:

Player	KPM	Lottery Balls	Odds for #1 Pick
Tony	12.5	5	10%
Galz	12.0	5	10%
Nick	11.9	5	10%
KP	11.8	4	8%
Evan	11.8	4	8%
Marco	11.0	4	8%
Barker	10.8	4	8%
JV	9.9	4	8%
Coach Mike	8.6	3	6%
Paul	8.2	3	6%
Bushie	8.0	2	4%
Jack	7.9	2	4%
Aaron	7.5	2	4%
Dan	–	1	2%
Greg	–	1	2%
Crockett	–	1	2%

If the odds held serve, the top 8 players (Tony through JV) would earn picks 1 – 8 and would select their partners from the pool of players 9 – 16 (Coach Mike through Crockett). But this is the LEG Draft Lottery, and nothing goes as planned.

Greg, one of three players with only 1 lottery ball and just 2% odds of the #1 pick, was selected first! Picks 2 – 7 stayed true to the group of players with the best odds, although the order was scattered:

• Barker earned the #2 pick, despite 4^th best odds
• Nick dropped to the #3 pick, despite having the best odds for the #1 pick
• Evan snagged the #4 pick, consistent with his odds
• Tony dropped to the #5 pick, despite having the best odds for the #1 pick
• Marco earned the #6 pick, consistent with his odds
• Galz dropped to the #7 pick, despite having the best odds for the #1 pick
• Paul jumped into the #8 pick, which was two slots higher than projected

The chaotic order, plus the inclusion of Greg and Paul as Lottery Cinderallas left KP and JV out of the Lottery and in the free agent pool. The draft played out as follows:

Pick	Player	Partner Picked	Team Name
1	Greg	KP	“The Comeback Kids”
2	Barker	JV	“Everybody Poops, Again”
3	Nick	Coach Mike	“Chop ‘N Groove”
4	Evan	Jack	“Polish Hammers”
5	Tony	Crockett	“Second Deck”
6	Marco	Dan	“Whiskey Dick”
7	Galz	Bushie	“The Nature Boys”
8	Paul	Aaron	“Put Your Satchel in My Mouth”

Round Robin

Eight teams were split into two pools and round robin play commenced, serving as the basis for seeding the triple elimination tournament. Each team played one another within their pool, in addition to one “crossover” game.

Pool A

1. “Everybody Poops, Again”
2. “The Comeback Kids”
3. “Chop ‘N Groove”
4. “Polish Hammers”

Pool B

1. “Second Deck”
2. “Whiskey Dick”
3. “The Nature Boys”
4. “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth”

“Polish Hammers” made a major statement early, putting all teams on notice when they crushed the defending championship duo of JV and Barker, 21-5 in their round robin matchup. Evan showed incredible poise, despite playing in his first LEG tournament, and put Barker on his heels with cornhole after cornhole. Jack was on a mission to dominate JV, and he did. The result was stunning from “Polish Hammers,” but “Everybody Poops, Again” seemed unaffected. The saavy championship partners cracked another beer, knowing the tournament was a marathon not a sprint, and grinned like a cat toying with a helpless mouse.

They responded like champions usually do, winning a convincing match over “The Comeback Kids,” and closing strong to make their nip-and-tuck match against “Chop ‘N Groove” look easy. They added a win over “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” in their crossover game, finishing 3-1 in round robin.

“Chop ‘N Groove,” comprised of former champion Nick and Coach Mike’s back-handed taint tickler, stiff-armed “Polish Hammers” with a 21-16 win, reminding the young crew that winning in this league ain’t easy. “Chop ‘N Groove” hung tough with “Everybody Poops, Again” before losing late, then rolled against “The Comeback Kids,” 21-12. In their crossover against “Second Deck,” Tony got the best of his friend, Coach Mike, and Crockett surprised Nick with his consistency and timely cornholes. “Chop ‘N Groove” lost their crossover match with “Second Deck,” finishing 2-2 in round robin.

After dropping the match with “Chop ‘N Groove,” “Polish Hammers” closed round robin with a blowout win over Greg and KP, “The Comeback Kids,” and then battled “Whiskey Dick” to a 21-14 victory, finishing 3-1 in round robin.

“The Comeback Kids” did not look good at all during round robin, losing all three matches with Pool A foes. KP was fighting his throw and Greg looked like a nervous rookie playing in his first tournament. In their crossover match against “The Nature Boys,” KP finally found a semblance of his usual game and Greg turned up the heat on Bushie. They pulled a stunning upset, 21-15, and hoped it would springboard them into the knockout round. They finished 1-3 in round robin.

In Pool B, “The Nature Boys” finished with what they considered to be a bad loss against “The Comeback Kids” after trucking all three Pool B opponents. Galz, the 2018 LEG Rookie of the Year, and Bushie were supremely confident after finishing 3-1 in round robin.

“Second Deck” couldn’t hang with “The Nature Boys” in the marquee Pool B showdown, but they rebounded nicely with a blowout win over “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth,” and were clutch in finishing close matches against “Whiskey Dick” and “Chop ‘N Groove.” “Second Deck” finished 3-1 in round robin.

Marco and Dan — aka “Dom” thanks to Marco either not knowing his own partner’s name or refusing to call him by name — named themselves “Whiskey Dick” to pay homage to Dan’s typical Saturday evening. They had an excellent win over “Put Your

Satchel in My Mouth” — but who didn’t? Seriously, they played well in all four round robin matches, but didn’t have enough consistency to close games against “The Nature Boys,” “Second Deck,” or “Polish Hammers,” and finished 1-3 in round robin.

“Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” was an interesting team – Aaron is a very good, promising player, and Paul has made noise in the league, including a semifinal appearance in the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off. However, I still don’t know what the hell “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” means, and Paul drank so much Jack and Coke before the tournament began that he had worse whiskey dick than “Dom.” Needless to say, these teammates faced a severe uphill climb in this tournament and limped to an 0-4 round robin record.

 

After consideration of tie-breakers, the first of which was head-to-head record, followed by total points scored in round robin, the triple elimination tournament seeds were set:

Tournament

The opening round was madness with upsets, which was a theme throughout the tournament.

• #1 “Everybody Poops, Again” handled their business against #8 “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth,” imposing their will in a 21-5 victory
• #7 “Whiskey Dick” got revenge from round robin play when they upset #2 “The Nature Boys.” Marco was fired up and on fire, as he carried his team to a 21-19 win
• #6 “The Comeback Kids” rode momentum from their final round robin win to route “Second Deck” 21-3
• In the 4 vs. 5 matchup, #4 “Polish Hammers” avenged their only round robin loss by beating #5 “Chop ‘N Groove” in another hotly contested match, 21-17

“Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” was in a downward spiral they couldn’t come out of. After losing their fourth straight match to “Everybody Poops, Again” they made a quick tournament exit by losing their next two matches, 21-8 against “Chop ‘N Groove” and 21-14 to “The Nature Boys.” Aaron wished he had won at least one match in his first LEG tournament, while Paul wished the world would stop spinning.

After pulling the biggest upset of the first round, #7 “Whiskey Dick” lost to suddenly surging “The Comeback Kids.” They found themselves in a Losers Bracket thriller against “Chop ‘N Groove” with the head-to-head match-up of Marco vs. Nick being a classic, and “Dom” was the difference in the match, getting the best of Coach Mike to close out the game, 21-19.

With a berth in the quarterfinals on the line, “Whiskey Dick” earned an opportunity for revenge against “Polish Hammers.” Marco started to resemble a player with an 11.0 KPM (his 2018 regular season cumulative KPM) and “Dom” continued to play well, making “Whiskey Dick” an extremely tough team. They pushed “Polish Hammers,” but the young guys didn’t crumble under the pressure. Evan was incredible, responding with cornholes any time “Whiskey Dick” grabbed momentum. Ultimately “Polish Hammers” had the best player in the match (Evan) and handed “Whiskey Dick” a heart-breaking 21-19 defeat.

In the Double Losers Bracket, the matches didn’t get any easier for “Whiskey Dick,” who now had to face “The Nature Boys” in an elimination game, with Galz eager to avenge the first round loss to the drunk wieners. The wildcard was Bushie – could he give Galz enough teammate support to avoid elimination?

Galz has been in tense moments throughout his rookie season, including facing early elimination in the Midseason Singles Tournament before battling back through the Double Losers Bracket to take Nick to a third and decisive game in the championship match. The kid has ice water in his veins, and refused to lose this match. He was on fire, and Bushie also got the best of “Dom” late in the match to help “The Nature Boys” prevail in yet another thriller, 21-19. “Whiskey Dick’s” tournament was done, and while disappointing given how close their last two matches were against some of the best teams in the tournament, Marco and “Dom” kept grinding and improving all day. If only they had found their partnership rhythm earlier…

After being dominated in a first round upset, the #3 seeded “Second Deck” needed to stop the bleeding quickly because they had a date with #2 “The Nature Boys” in the Losers Bracket. Unfortunately for “Second Deck,” there was no tourniquet nearby and hemorrhaging ensued after “The Nature Boys” blew a hole in them, 21-11, dropping them to the Double Losers Bracket.

Against “Chop ‘N Groove,” Crockett was excellent, winning his head-to-head matchup with Nick – unexpected to almost all observers given Nick’s decorated history. But Crockett is a good player who didn’t give a damn about Nick’s prior championships, taking the fight right at him. Tony battled mental struggles much of the tournament thanks to his physical throw not cooperating with his mind’s vision. He did, however, have just enough consistency to equalize Coach Mike’s back-handed taint tickler. “Second Deck” eliminated “Chop ‘N Groove,” 21-17, advancing to play “The Nature Boys” for the third time thanks to “Polish Hammers,” who had just handed “The Nature Boys” their second loss of the tournament, 21-17.

Squaring off against “The Nature Boys” for a third time in an elimination match wasn’t the ideal circumstance for “Second Deck” after going 0/2 against them. For “The Nature Boys,” beating a good team three times in one tournament is never easy, but Galz refuses to lose – the Rookie of the Year is a killer and possesses championship DNA. He willed his team to victory, 21-18, and with the blink of an eye, the #3 seeded “Second Deck” was bounced from the tournament. After looking good in round robin play (3-1 record), the train went off the tracks and they limped to a 1-3 tournament record.

Speaking of disappointing tournaments, “Chop ‘N Groove’s” early exit was unexpected. The veteran combo of Nick and Coach Mike, along with Nick’s championship history had many fearful of playing this team. Finishing with a 1-3 record and an inability to close at the end of games (lost matches 21-17, 21-19, and 21-17) frustrated “Chop ‘N Groove.” Nick sat helplessly under the bracket, hoping this was all a bad dream, while Coach cracked another Bud Light Lime and fucked with Bushie’s playlist.

“Polish Hammers” had a fantastic tournament. Evan and Jack were playing in their first LEG tournament, which is usually a dangerous indicator of an early exit. However, Evan is REALLY good and Jack was poised enough to play within himself, realizing he needed to at least stale-mate his head-to-head matchups and allow Evan to bust games open. The inexperienced duo went 3-1 in round robin, earned the #4 seed and marched to the quarterfinals before being ousted by “The Nature Boys” in a rematch elimination game.

Their three wins were impressive, beating: “Chop ‘N Groove” (a big deal since “Chop ‘N Groove” handed them their only round robin loss), “The Nature Boys,” and “Whiskey Dick.”

Their three losses were all to quality opponents who were semifinalists in this tournament: “Everybody Poops, Again” (21-9), “The Comeback Kids” (21-3), and “The Nature Boys” (21-7). The last two losses were quarterfinal games (Losers Bracket and then Double Losers Bracket), which goes to show experience pays off deep into the tournament. Look for Evan and Jack to contend in 2019 tournaments.

“The Nature Boys” earned the #2 seed, but lost two of their first three matches, including the 21-19 first round upset to #7 “Whiskey Dick,” and a 21-17 Losers Bracket match with “Polish Hammers.” Facing elimination, “The Nature Boys” recorded four straight wins over the likes of “Second Deck,” “Whiskey Dick,” and “Polish Hammers.”

Their four-game win streak culminated in a semifinal showcase with #6 seed, “The Comeback Kids,” who were sent to the Double Losers Bracket thanks to two 21-14 losses to “Everybody Poops, Again.”

Almost all of the participants from the five eliminated teams pulled up a chair and watched court-side as the semifinalists prepared for battle. KP wanted a head-to-head match-up with Galz. He always wants the best player, and he’ll never admit this publicly, but rumor is he’s still butthurt from not closing a 16-13 lead against Galz in an elimination match in the Midseason Singles Tournament (Galz would win 21-16 and later go on to the championship match).

Greg, KP’s partner, caught fire in this tournament and absolutely dominated Bushie. He barely missed the board, and sank cornholes to fend off any attempted run from Bushie. On the other end of the match, KP was as locked in as ever and overwhelmed Galz. “The Comeback Kids” secured a 21-14 victory, sent “The Nature Boys” home – WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, and strolled into the championship match.

The Championship – “Everybody Poops, Again” vs. “The Comeback Kids”

While seven other teams scrapped and clawed amongst one another to stay in the tournament, “Everybody Poops, Again” barely hit a speed bump on their way to the championship. Winners of four straight convincing matches, including two against “The Comeback Kids,” JV and Barker were heavy Vegas favorites to win their second straight LEG tournament.

KP was no stranger to this feeling – he found himself in the championship match for the third straight tournament, and in the previous two matches he also faced an undefeated opponent, requiring three consecutive wins to claim The Cup, while his opponent only had to win one match to take home the trophy. In both previous matches, the daunting task of winning three straight was too much to overcome and KP’s teams failed to win even one match.

Maybe it was the adrenaline from getting the Galz “monkey” off his back, or maybe this was finally KP’s turn to claim The Cup. Whatever the case, KP was confident – Barker and JV approached KP and Greg with a gesture of sportsmanship before the match and KP blew them off, focusing instead on firing Greg up, claiming, “We are going to win this f*cking thing!” While walking to his end of the court to battle JV head-to-head, KP doubled down and told the entire audience, “We’re winning this thing.”

In match 1, the moment certainly didn’t appear to be too big for Greg or KP. They extended their championship hopes with a convincing 21-15 victory. KP turned to the audience, “I told you!” and turned to JV, “We’re coming. Get ready. We’re coming.”

Barker and JV only needed one win to claim The Cup. They’ve navigated these championship waters before, as partners. Co-captains, steadying themselves with every gulp of glorious booze.

Greg opened match 2 with a big eight-point round against Barker, and KP rode the momentum from his partner to outscore JV early. Don’t look now, but “The Comeback Kids” were on the cusp of winning match 2 and forcing a third and final match – they were up 18-13 and for the first time ever, JV and Barker were a bit shaken.

JV took the reins, stared over at KP, as if to alert him that something special was going to happen. KP felt the stare, but locked in on the hole at the other end of the court.

KP threw first – on the board.

JV followed – cornhole.

KP’s second throw – on the board.

JV’s second throw – cornhole.

KP’s third attempt – on the board.

JV’s third throw – on the board.

“Ok,” KP thought, “He’s up 7-3. Drain a cornhole, limit the damage and let Greg win this thing.”

KP’s final throw – on the board.

JV focused, waggled an extra time, and launched – CORNHOLE!

Three cornholes and a 10-point round in such a clutch moment. JV completely flipped the scrip of match 2, giving his squad a 19-18 lead.

Barker knew not to squander the momentum and immediately closed the match by outscoring Greg, winning the match 21-18 for “Everybody Poops, Again.”

Greg and KP were devastated, still in disbelief. They were so close to winning match 2 and applying so much pressure to “Everybody Poops, Again.” Barker and JV were just too difficult to handle, especially when they had a three game cushion to work with.

Barker and JV capped the 2018 season as end-to-end champions, winning the Preseason Kick-Off Tournament and Postseason Tournament, both as partners. They join Jeff Garavalia as the only players to claim two titles in the same season.

All-Tournament Team

The 2018 Postseason All-Tournament Team was voted by all players, and the top four players receiving votes were named to the All-Tournament Team. Coming as no surprise, both JV and Barker earned All-Tournament honors, with JV earning MVP – likely based on his 10-point round against KP in the championship. They were joined by KP and Galz, capping an excellent debut season for Galz.