NOVI, MICHIGAN – The top of the power rankings are as uncertain as ever, with Week 9 of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (“LEG”) shuffling the standings yet again. Nick dominated play last week with a 5-0 record, a commanding +10.2 scoring differential, and capped it off with 3 foot snags. Nick jumped from 5th place overall to 2nd, as he tries to hold off JG and KP who are charging hard for the top ranking overall heading into Saturday’s season-ending tournament. Editor’s Note – Nick G. is in first place overall, but he is not playing in the season-ending tournament; therefore Nick Winkler (aka just “Nick”) is the leader in the clubhouse for the #1 position in Saturday’s Draft Lottery.

The game of the night was in Game 1 where JG and Nick (both league MVP candidates) squared off against KP and Paul, who was playing his first LEG event of the season. KP and Paul raced out to a 6-0 lead, only to have the dynamic duo respond with a 13-0 run of their own. Down 13-6, it looked as though JG and Nick had taken KP and Paul’s best shot on the chin and were on the verge of a TKO. But KP and Paul got hot, fought back and trailed 20-19 in the late stages of the match. KP had a final toss to win the game with a cornhole, but just missed, giving JG and Nick life. True to form, Nick closed out the match on his next turn by outscoring Paul 1-0, good for a 21-19 victory.

It was a hell of a game, and KP and Paul showed a lot of fight in almost pulling the upset. But, you have to capitalize on opportunities when players as good as JG and Nick are on the ropes, and KP and Paul failed to do that.

Speaking of Paul, he made his season debut going 2-4. He played well in a Game 4, a 21-10 win as he teamed with Nick to take out Adam and KP. The low point of Paul’s night was when he joined forces with fellow newcomer, Adam, in Game 3 to battle against JG and KP. JG and KP dominated their way to a 20-0 lead over the rookies, and the dreaded “bun run” was fully in play. That’s right folks, we were 1 point away from a 21-0 shutout and a naked run around the block for both Adam and Paul. On my last turn, I landed all 4 throws on the board, with 2 of them dangling from the hole, but neither would fall. Adam matched my 4 points for a 0-0 draw that round, avoiding the bun run. On the next turn, Paul outscored JG for their first points of the game and negated the bun run. In fact, Adam and Paul went on an 8-0 run to cut the lead to 20-8 before JG and KP finally closed out the game, 21-8.

The rookies get a lot of credit for battling through adversity of a 20-0 deficit and the pressure of an embarrassing naked run weighing on them. If only one of my throws had fallen off the edge of the hole…instead, we had the biggest bun run scare of the season.

JG finished the night 4-3, representing the second-best record on the evening, despite having a negative scoring differential. He sits in 3rd place overall, just 1 game back of Nick.

Adam also had a respectable debut, going 2-3 and showing off beautiful form. We expected nothing less from Adam, who doubles as an outstanding bowler. With more game reps, Adam could be one of the top players in the league.

Joe V. and I had poor weeks, going 1-3 and 2-3, respectively, and battled through a lot of inconsistencies from game to game.

 

NOVI, MICHIGAN – The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (“LEG”) continues to rob people of their virginity. We took cornhole purity from 3 new guys last night, Ryan, Pat and Nick Giammarco (aka, “Nick G”).

Nick G., the self-anointed “Rainman” because he comes in dumb and leaves wet, is now atop the power rankings with a winning percent of 67%, after going 2-1 in his debut. Yes, he has a much smaller sample size than say, JG who resides in second at 65%, but rules are rules. Therefore, “Rainman” is the top dog this week. He also had a very respectable win when he teamed with me to beat JG and Pat, 21-15.

Ryan started rough with a 21-1 loss in Game 1. He ended the night with a 2-5 record that included highlights such as teaming with Nick G. in Game 5 to register both of their first wins of the season over the Catholic Central All-Stars, Pat and Josh. Ryan was also involved in the game of the night, a 21-20 loss in Game 7 to Nick and Brad. More on the game of the night later. Ryan’s record wasn’t stellar, but he has some talent and could be as sneaky as JG’s twink boyfriend’s tongue when drafted for the big tournament on October 1.

Josh showed up after a few weeks off, and it showed in his game. He went 1-2 on the night, dropping him to sixth overall, and in a Game 3 loss hit his low point by missing all 4 of his throws short of the board on one turn. Josh did salvage his night with 4 foot snags in just 3 games, upping his league-leading total 15 foot snags (the next closest is 4).

The game of the night was in Game 7, where Nick and Brad teamed up to face Ryan and JG. The game was tight the entire way, and with a 20-19 lead Ryan let his last throw go and hit nothing but hole. It appeared as though he just clinched the game since the only thing that could save Nick and Brad was a cornhole by Nick on his last throw. Nick proved he has ice water in his veins by nailing a cornhole, canceling Ryan and JG’s win and extending the game. Nick and Brad would go on to score the last two points of the game and win 21-20.

In the immediate aftermath, JG and Ryan were hurting. Hurting so bad they demanded a rematch. Brad and Nick obliged, but couldn’t pull off back-to-back wins as JG and Ryan rolled to a 21-15 victory.

We are winding down the regular season, with only 2 weeks left before the big tournament. The top 9 guys are at .500 or better and the top 5 in the standings are all within at least 5% of each other. A lot can happen these last few weeks as we jockey for the critical Draft Lottery position.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – Week 7 was a small group, with only 4 cornholers playing. But, it was a nice 4-man gangbang of former EY Chrysler audit team guys, so thanks to everyone else for sitting this one out and allowing us to have our reunion moment. For our Catholic league guys on this chain (Nick, Josh, Lucio, Joe, Pat, Chinoski), it was similar to your locker room cracker circle jerks in high school. 😉

Humberto popped his LEG cherry, going 3-4 in his first ever appearance, which was good for the second best overall record on the night and ninth overall in the power rankings. Humberto flashed that Brasil futbol skill, nabbing the only foot snag of the night. Even more impressive was Humberto’s Babe Ruth moment in Game 4. Bert and KP were up 19-15, Lucio had 3 points on the board and Bert had one toss left. As soon as the bag left his hand Bert called his shot with a confident, “Cash!”. He found nothing but net, cancelling Dave’s 3 points with a cornhole of his own, and preserving a 7 point lead, 19-12. In the next round I closed the game out, but Bert – the baller, shot caller – saved the game.

In Game 3, Dave had a chance to extend the game on his last throw, but choked in a major way by failing to score and lost the game because of it (21-16 win for Bert & KP over Lucio & Joe). Dave, in a fit a rage, demanded a rematch, which is when Bert ripped his heart out in Game 4 (see above for details).

Joe and Dave each finished the night at 2-5, but Joe had a better scoring differential than both Bert and Dave at -2.9. Dave struggled with confidence issues all night, going 1-4 in the first 5 games. During Game 6 Dave battled through his internal struggle and self-demands to “do something with your life,”. He had a solid final round to win the closest match of the night, a 21-17 win for Lucio & KP over Bert & Joe.

After that Game 6 win Dave was feeling froggy, so he leaped into another rematch of Dave & Joe vs. KP & Bert. He lost for the third time on the night, 21-12. An unhappy Dave is good for the league. It means the fire is burning to show up again and redeem himself.

I was the MVP of the night, going 7-0 with a +10.6 scoring differential. My undefeated night (the first undefeated night by anyone this season, by the way) helped me jump from 5th place in the power rankings to 2nd place overall with just 3 weeks left before the season-ending tournament.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Something about Beverly Hills brings out the best in each of our cornholers. Every time Bushie hosts the competition level seems to be up a few levels. Maybe it’s the great music. Or maybe it’s environment, the Augusta National of cornhole that is Bushie’s backyard. Whatever the case, cornhole in Beverly Hills is a helluva time and last night was no different with 9 of 17 games decided by 6 points or less, including 5 of those games decided by 4 points or less.

For the first time since week 1, the top player of the night did not come from either JG or Nick. Both of those guys had a solid 4 week run as the weekly Big Man on Campus. But that title rests with Barker and Mike for week 6, as each guy went 6-3.

Mike showed his versatility by averaging 18.8 points per game and grabbing 2 foot snags (most of the night). Mike also teamed with Joe in game 6 to take down Nick and Steve 21-20, in what was the best game of the night. Mike also still holds the best individual round of the season, as he is the only player to record a cornhole on all 4 throws (done in week 4). Mike’s 6-3 record improves him to 15-13 overall, good for a 6th place tie with Tony.

Barker averaged a ridiculous 19.0 points per game (best of the night) and an even more impressive +5.1 scoring differential. He made a run at Mike’s best round in Game 9 by holing 3 of his 4 throws, including holing 2 bags on one throw…he knocked one in, he didn’t throw 2 at once. 🙂

Barker was 6-1 before ending the night on a 2 game losing streak. His 6-3 record takes him back to .500 overall on the season, which is good for an 8th place tie.

When a player as good as Barker is hanging on to that last spot in the Cornhole Draft Lottery, it should highlight how competitive this league is. Bring your A-game every week or you’ll find yourself on the wrong end of things really quickly.

Nick found that out the hard way. He finished a respectable 5-4, but wasn’t up to his usual standards last night. Despite a sub par night, Nick still sits in second place overall.

Joey V. had a strong night, going 3-3 overall with had 3 monster wins. Of the 5 games decided by 4 points or less, Joe was on the winning end in 3 of them. We already mentioned the highlight of the night in game 6, but in game 11 Joe teamed with Nick to take down Barker and me, 21-18. It was dark, the flood lights were squarely on Joe as his team was down big and he needed to rise to the occasion. Joe’s family member may be up for Supreme Court of Michigan election, but Joe’s big nut sack decided to run for cornhole president on this turn. He holed 3 of his 4 throws against Barker to win 21-18.

But, there’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee, too – it says, fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again. Barker and I didn’t get fooled again, winning the rematch, 21-14.

Bushie shed his “Kim” cloak and went 3-7 on the night. He was involved in several close losses, and was much better last night than in week 4. He also showed off some sexy new Spartan boards.

Steve made his season debut, and although he went 4-9, it’s very clear he’s got game. The lefty had the most total points on the night and had the 4th best scoring differential of all players at only -0.9. The 4-9 record is not indicative of the player Steve is. He’s a sleeping cornhole giant.

Thanks again to Bushie for hosting.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – For the fifth straight week we saw no dong at “LEG”. Even more disappointing is despite 3 blowouts, there wasn’t even a threat of dong exposure. One of these days 21-0 will happen, and we’ll see a bun run. It’s like a 16 seed beating a 1 seed…only remotely possible, but if/when it happens it will be glorious (unless it’s me).

The game of the night featured JG & Joe vs. Mike & Nick. It was a battle of wills, with each team exchanging hay makers round after round. It was a long, hard fought battle with each team scratching and clawing point by point. Is everyone tired of the cliches yet? Really though, it was a great game with each round netting only 1 or 2 points and both teams exchanging leads throughout. Ultimately, JG & Joe shocked the world in a 21-18 win.

Week 5 saw another shift in the power rankings with JG overtaking Nick for first place after going 5-2 compared to Nick’s 2-2 record. Nick held the advantage in points per game and scoring differential over JG, but the 21-18 win by JG & Joe swung the standings in Jeff’s favor.

I had the highest week 5 points per game and scoring differential, which carried me to a respectable 4-2 record. I still sit in 5^th place overall, just behind the third place tie between Josh and Brad.

Tony sat home this week and still climbed the power rankings because of Mike’s 2-4 record in week 5. Way to rise to the occasion, Tony.

Speaking of Mike, he had the back-handed t@int tickler approach working for him all night. He also played cornhole pretty well, despite a 2-4 record. Mike was victim of a few very close losses, 21-17 and 21-18, respectively. Every inch matters, Michael. Hang in there.

Lastly, Joey V. went 1-4 this week and the only thing keeping him out of the power rankings basement is the padding provided by the 0-7 record of Bushie/Kim, also known as “Bushie Kim”.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Last night was a great night of cornhole, and Bushie was an amazing host. Bushie, thanks for the hospitality, food, and willingness to let a few of us linger until almost midnight.

Week 4 yielded a shift in the power rankings with Nick taking over first place, JG right behind him and Josh dropping to third (formerly on top) after his sluggish 2-3 record. In fairness to Josh, he was struggling with diarrhea all night. Can’t be easy to hold your follow through when you’re uncertain about shitting your pants. That said, Josh still registered 2 foot snags despite a faulty “trap door”.

Nick was the most outstanding player with a 6-3 record, and led the night in scoring average (again) at 18.6 per game and scoring differential with a silly +6.1 (nobody else was higher than +3.7). Nick and JG were on their way to even better records until Barker and I took 2 of 3 games from them late in the night.

Other highlights of the night included:

• Barker showing up halfway through the night despite a terrible day of work. He never disappoints folks.
• A huge win for Joe and me over JG and Mike, 21-19. The win was impressive because we were underdogs, but also because “Kim” (aka Bushie’s neighbor; aka “THO” – stands for titty hard on…Joe noticed her braless nipples poking out all night…good eye, Joey; aka “Does anyone besides Bushie actually know her name?”) called Joe a loser in the pregame and Joe responded like any coldblooded Italian would…by shoving his bag in the cornhole over and over and over again. Thanks for rising to the occasion Joe.
• JG and I overcoming a 20-11 deficit to Mike and Bushie to win 21-20 in dramatic fashion.
• Barker and I taking 2 out of 3 games from the powerful duo of JG and Nick. I know I mentioned this already, but it needed to be said again.
• Mike going 3-1 to close the night.
• “Kim” staying up until almost midnight watching us studs play under the lights.

Mike and Tony made their league debuts, each going 7-6. Both are very talented players and are forces to be reckoned with if they keep playing. The fact that players as good as these two barely got above the .500 mark tells you about the quality of the league.

Joe had his best week of the year going 4-4, including some serious quality wins over the likes of JG and Mike, and Tony and Josh. Joe’s 4 wins last night doubled his previous season total of 2, and his point differential last night was almost breakeven, whereas he’s -6.3 for the year in point differential. Joe is starting to make noise and is eyeing a rise in the standings.

Bushie struggled to an 0-7 record, but 2 of his 7 loses were really “Kim” playing in his place. Sorry Bushie, but you get her losses because she’s your neighbor. Bushie’s true record was 0-5, but he had the heartbreaking 21-20, come-from-behind loss to JG and me, and a tough 21-16 loss to JG and Tony. He wasn’t far from having a record close to .500. Plus, he rivaled JG for the “Looks Best in a T-Shirt” award.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – Week 3 of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (“LEG” for those who have not read the bylaws) was the strongest turnout of the season with 7 guys showing up, including 2 new faces in Brad and Lucio. The night started off with a dandy match up that saw Lucio register his first win of the season in a 21-19 win for Lucio & JG over Josh & Joe. The game also had serious foot snag action with Josh snagging 3 and Lucio snagging 1…Lucio still never drank all the required beer from Josh’s snags on his errant throws.

The night ended with a JG & Brad win over Lucio & KP, 21-18. JG & Brad jumped out to a commanding double-digit lead early, only to see Lucio & KP storm back and take a 17-14 lead. That’s when JG took over. In the final frame JG positioned his team with a 22-18 lead (final scores are capped at 21, however), and I had one final throw left to extend the game. One on the board did nothing, so I needed a cornhole. It was dark except a sliver of hope coming from the small garage light. Joe and Nick stood anxiously in the background talking about nekked men in an attempt to distract me (or maybe that was all in my head), and JG stood confidently still holding his pose from his previous cornhole. I confidently tossed the final bag, online, tracking toward the hole, but ultimately landed a inches beyond the hole as it bounced and fell long off the board. I choked on an extra-large bag of tiny penis whistles. We lost.

That game had yuuuuuge implications because the win kept JG in second place overall ahead of Nick (a JG loss would have vaulted Nick to second place by fractions of a winning percentage). It also was the deciding game in the standings between Lucio and Brad, kept my overall record at .500 on the season, and cost me a shot at having the best winning percentage in week 3. It’s fun when there is that much at stake, and every week we seem to be building more of these situations.

Josh remains on top of the power rankings after a respectable 3-2 record in week 3 and a 7-3 record overall. He also has a commanding lead in foot snags with 9 in just two weeks of action. JG is right behind in winning percentage at 13-6 overall after his 4-2 week. Nick is 9-5 overall after a 4-2 week 3, and also led the league in scoring and scoring differential this week. Nick also received a, “Nick is a good player” comment from Josh, which is saying something because Josh never compliments anyone. Nick is a good player. In fact, an argument can be made for any of the top 3 guys as the early league MVP.

Brad and Lucio had very good debuts. Brad finished 3-2 overall, while Lucio was third overall in points per game, second in scoring differential and also registered 3 foot snags this week.

Joe struggled to an 0-7 record, including a few blowout losses. However, every week Joe gets better. This week his throws had more arch on them, he scored with more consistency and 3 of his 7 games were very winnable.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – After nearly 3 weeks off since week 1, we finally regrouped to play the week 2 slate. While week 1 was competitive with 3 of 6 games decided by 2 points or less, week 2 was completely opposite. We played 8 games, the closest match was 21-15, and 5 of the 8 games were decided by 13 or more points.

The highlight of the night was JG’s unconsciousness. The guy barely missed the board, regularly scored ringers, and easily led the week in individual and team scoring (note – individual scoring is not tracked). He was dominant in a 21-14 loss to Nick and Joe (reading between the lines, I was his shitty partner) by scoring 13 of the 14 team points. JG had a ridiculous +7.3 scoring differential on his way to a 6-2 record last night, improving his overall record to 9-4, good for second place on the season.

Nick finished the night 5-3, and also turned in an impressive individual performance. Unofficially, Nick had the most rounds where all 4 bags were on the board or in the hole. He was very consistent attacking the board, and although he didn’t hit the hole as much as JG (but who does?) he now holds third place overall after his solid week 2 performance.

Joe finished the night 2-6, improving upon his 0-4 record from week 1. Joe is finding his rhythm and had some dominant rounds throughout the night. He was a key part of a 17-4 run in Game 3 where he and JG curb-stomped Nick and me 21-7. Joe also rivaled JG for most clutch performer on the night. Any time Joe had to score to extend the game, he answered the bell and often did so with a ringer. It seems once Joe finds the hole, he hits it…often.

Then there’s me. About the only positive thing to say is I had the only foot snag of the evening, but I attribute that more to the other guys not trying than me having good foot snag skills. I finished a mediocre 3-5, and my wins were mostly because of my partners carrying me. I was very inconsistent, and probably had the top 5 worst throws of the night. I’ll blame most of my performance on being distracting by Joe talking about banana hammocks (you had to be there). My 13.4 points per game and -3 scoring differential in week 2 may look better than Joe’s numbers, but I was easily the worst player last night. I’ll be repping all weekend to get better for next week.

NOVI, MICHIGAN – Week 1 of the corn hole league had a lot of excitement with 3 of the 6 games decided by 2 points or less, and JG and Joe avoiding a naked run through the Maples community when they broke a 19-0 deficit late in the game with two clutch points to get on the board. They lost 21-2, but their self-esteem is still intact.

Josh stands alone at the top of the standings with a 4-1 record in team play, and won the only head-to-head match-up this week against Joe, 11-5. Josh also flashed his ridiculous soccer skills by leading the night in foot snags with 5 (note – if you don’t know what a foot snag is, you’ll know soon enough). Overall, Josh went 5-1 in week 1, but the metrics show Barker may have been the best player last night, despite his 2-3 record. Barker leads the league in total scoring, scoring per game and scoring differential. He also found a ridiculous, yet effective pitching method that resembled a much less athletic Joe Dumars rainbow from downtown. Speaking of athleticism, Barker showed absolutely none by finishing last in foot snags with 0. In fairness, he was wearing sandals and when not pitching bags he had a beer to his lips. But I can’t make excuses for him too much longer. Use those feet bro.

JG had a dead arm early, but recovered nicely to finish 3-2 overall. Once he had a few beers and forgot about the wedding planning appointment he attended right before league play, he was dominant.

Joe finishes week 1 at the bottom of the standings at 0-4, but was victim of a 21-20 loss to Josh and JG, and also pushed Josh in their head-to-head match-up for most of the match. Joe was also way too sober to be playing, which I expect will change in the coming weeks.