CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – You’d expect warmer temperatures and an ideal environment for cornhole on Thursday before Memorial Day. But this week felt like the British Open of LEG given the cold and blustery conditions.

Dibble had the grill roaring, it was Bob’s birthday, and the competition among the top three players was enough to heat things up this week.

Last week’s recap was mostly dedicated to the rise of Bushie, Turley and Bob. Clearly the big dogs (Nick, Dibble and Galz) don’t take kindly to ripping the headlines away from them. Their response in week 3 was absurd – all three combined for a 13 – 3 record (Galz locked in at 5 – 1, while Nick and Dibble each went 4 – 1), with two of the three total losses coming at the hands of playing one another. The trio also posted the top three KPMs of the week, Nick – 20.4, Dibble – 18.2 and Galz – 16.5.

Dibble and Galz were stroking it early, partnering in Game 1 against JV and Coach Mike. They made quick work of their opponents, trouncing them 21 – 1 in just three innings. Thankfully JV snagged a second inning point on a final bag airmail against Galz (he won the round 7 – 6) or else the night would have kicked off with a bun run.

Dibble’s second game of the night was another blowout win in only three innings, 21 – 3, and he posted a new single-game KPM record of 32.2. His three innings went like this: 10 –> 9 –> 10, and he totaled nine cornholes. Bushie’s single-game KPM record, set in week 2, didn’t stand a chance.

Two games later Galz stepped to the boards for his second game of the night, on a mission to keep pace with his powerhouse counterpart. He partnered with Erik and destroyed Bushie and Turley, 21 – 4, again in just three innings! Galz’s three innings went like this: 7 –> 9 –> 7, and he totaled seven cornholes while posting a 25.4 KPM. Not quite the 32.2 KPM from Dibble, but still a phenomenal game from Galz.

Nick showed up a bit late, catching the end of Galz’s second game domination. He was oblivious to Dibble’s 32.2 and to the Game 1 thrashing Galz and Dibble gave Coach and JV. One thing was clear, though, Nick was prepared to throw heat and stiff-arm the chase Dibble and Galz were on to unseat him as the #1 player in the Power Rankings.

His evening opener in Game 6 wasn’t the quick three innings of work Dibble and Galz had, but scorched the nets just the same. He and Jack teamed to outlast JV and Erik, 21 – 17, and in eight innings Nick scored 56 gross points, 16 cornholes and three 10-point rounds, equating to a 23.0 KPM, 2.0 cornholes per round, 7 gross points per round, and 75% accuracy.

The Big 3 got their groove back in a major way this week.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

By the time Game 13 rolled around the sun had set, the wind gusted harder and the air was more frigid. Yet this match featuring Bushie and Erik against Dibble and JV somehow managed to produce GoT quality.

Bushie, going head-to-head against Dibble, and Erik jumped out to an early 6 – 1 lead, and upped it to 9 – 3 two innings later. JV halted the run in the fifth inning with an 8 – 3 advantage over Erik, cutting the deficit to 9 – 8.

Bushie immediately tacked on two more points in the bottom of the fifth inning to make it 11 – 8, getting the best of Dibble, 8 – 6.

The lead grew to 15 – 8 after the top half of the sixth, thanks to Erik’s 4 – 0 shutout of JV.

Dibble and Bushie combined for an ugly bottom of the sixth, totaling three combined points on 3/8 shooting. Dibble walked away with one point to make it 15 – 9, advantage to Bushie and Erik.

Through six innings, Bushie and Erik stayed patient and executed their strategy perfectly. They played aggressively in spots, but often threw blockers and piled up points while creating difficult shots for their opponents.

Erik continued with the strategy leading off the top of the seventh inning. His first bag landed on the board, but was misplaced short and left, not in JV’s line whatsoever. It was the crack in the door JV had been waiting for and immediately pounced with a first bag cornhole. Rattled, Erik tried to compose himself and toss an accurate second bag.

He missed the board this time. JV boarded his second toss for a 4 – 1 advantage, and would add four more points in his next two tossed as Erik limped to the end of the round with just one more scoring bag. JV’s 8 – 2 round tied the game, 15 – 15.

Bushie lifted Erik from the mat in the bottom of the seventh by draining two cornholes and besting Dibble, 8 – 6, snatching the lead, 17 – 15. Erik threw a perfect 4/4 in the top of the eighth inning, tacking on one more point to help his team inch closer to a victory, 18 – 15.

Similar to the bottom of the sixth inning, the bottom of the eighth was ugly. Once again, Bushie and Dibble combined for 3/8 shooting, this time Dibble walked away with three points, tying the game 18 – 18, thanks to a cornhole.

Where have we heard this before? JV, arguably the best closer LEG has, with bags in hand during a game-clinching moment. He has the Mariano Rivera effect, where even the best opponents can’t fight off the self-doubt that creeps in when facing him.

JV’s first two bags found the board while Erik did a sensational job of piling up bags in front of the hole to block any JV heroics. With the inning tied 2 – 2 after two throws, JV dialed up the aggression and launched an airmail attempt on his third toss. It was on target but short, stacking on the pile with four other bags.

Erik was content to join the pile, and did so safely with his third toss – 3 – 3 after three bags.

JV gathered himself for an extra few seconds, envisioning his shot like Tiger Woods in his prime. Once again he tossed an airmail attempt that rainbowed toward the hole, on target but unsure if it had enough to clear the pile of six bags. As the bag approached the hole, it clipped one of JV’s bags on the pile and dragged it into the hole for a double-cornhole airmail!

Holy shit, JV’s flare for the dramatic comes through again, turning a 3 – 3 inning into an 8 – 3 advantage, forcing Erik to sink a cornhole to extend the game.

Understandably lacking composure, Erik tried to focus for his final shot – an airmail, which he does not attempt often. He stepped, threw and immediately knew it had no chance. A low pull that barely clipped the board settled on the concrete.

21 – 18 was the final, as JV closed with one of the best 8-point rounds you’ll ever see.

Erik played exceptionally, scoring 28/36 bags (78%). The problem was he failed to record a cornhole in the game, so all 28 scoring bags were good for just one point. Meanwhile, JV used seven cornholes to score 35 points, none bigger than the ones recorded on his final toss of the game.

At the other end of the board Bushie outplayed Dibble, 38 – 36 and both players made nine cornholes.

CHOKE ARTISTS

As the night closed and playing group dwindled, Galz and Dibble were sauced up with liquid confidence. Game 14 finished and there was a slight lull in the action, “Alright! Dibble and me versus Nick and KP!” Galz yelled.

Any time Galz is focused on playing instead of talking or eating (yes, even in the middle of his own inning!), you have to capitalize on the moment. So, it was on. Galz and Dibble vs. KP and Nick in Game 15.

The start of the contest couldn’t have been worse for Galz and Dibble, quickly finding themselves in an 11 – 0 hole due to eight points from KP (he won rounds of 7 – 4 and 8 – 3 over Galz) and three more points from Nick (he won rounds of 6 – 4 and 6 – 5 over Dibble). Halfway to a bun run!

Galz’s confidence is unshakable. He relishes moments like this because it’s the ultimate challenge. Dibble collected two points in the third inning while Galz added three more. The bun run was off the table, 11 – 5.

The fourth inning became the turning point of the match. Nick struggled to find the board and Dibble took advantage with a 5 – 1 inning win to climb back into the game, now facing an 11 – 9 deficit.

The struggle transferred to KP’s end of the board in the bottom of the fourth inning where he managed only two bags on the board, and Galz pounced all over that opportunity by sinking three cornholes. He crushed KP, 9 – 2, giving his team a 16 – 11 lead.

Moments later, Dibble dropped three cornholes for nine points with Nick managing only four points. Nick’s final bag needed to be in the hole to extend the game, but it came up empty. Dibble closed the match for his squad, a 21 – 11 victory.

Down 11 – 0 and on the verge of a bun run to a 21 – 0 scoring streak to win the game, 21 – 11. What a turn of events! Credit to Galz and Dibble for the comeback. Meanwhile, Nick and KP were fuming over their choke. Neither guy played after that, both sitting on the sidelines trying to figure out how they played so shitty.

AUNT MILLIE MIKE RETURNS

It’s been almost one year since Coach Mike’s last bun run. In fact, week 2 of the 2020 season produced two Coach Mike bun runs, earning him the nickname “Aunt Millie Mike.” Coach has been turning the corner since then, even handing Dibble his first career bun run in week 11 of the 2020 season.

This week Coach invited Matt, a friend/neighbor, to join the cornhole party. After narrowly avoiding a bun run in Game 1 as JV’s partner (lost 21 – 1), Aunt Millie Mike wasn’t as lucky in Game 14 when he partnered with Matt. Turley outscored Matt, 11 – 3, and held him cornhole-less, while Aunt Millie struggled to keep pace with Nick, losing 29 – 13.

Add it all up and you get a 21 – 0 victory for Turley and Nick. Even on a frigid night, Aunt Millie honored the bun run and dragged Matt to hell with him. It was Aunt Millie’s seventh bun run of his career and Matt’s first (obviously).

See the footage here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNGX5cqREFw

In the final game of the night (Game 16), Aunt Millie dodged another bun run bullet. Bob and Bushie throttled he and JV, 21 – 1. Just like in Game 1, it was JV snatching the lone point for he and Aunt Millie to escape the bun run.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

In the late stages of Game 11, JV and Turley found themselves in an 18 – 18 tie with Galz and Bushie. In the seventh inning JV was in process of closing yet another match. He had thrown two bags and owned a 4 – 2 advantage over Galz – but more importantly, JV’s bag on the board was near the hole and had successfully blocked Galz’s first two tosses.

Galz’s third toss was a fastball that powered two of his bags into the hole, swinging the score in his favor, 7-4!

JV attempted a push shot and could manage only to board his third bag. Galz landed his final bag on the board for an 8 – 5 advantage, requiring JV to score his final toss.

Still confident in the push shot, JV attempted again knowing he could win the inning 10 – 8 if successful. He tossed with a little more juice on the bag, but it caromed off the board.

Galz’s double-cornhole on his third bag allowed him to take control of the inning and ultimately close the game against LEG’s best closer. That, ladies and gentlemen, earns Galz this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment!

NEWS AND NOTES

• We celebrated Bob’s birthday this week, and he celebrated by almost putting a 12-point round on Paul in Game 4. His final bag missed the hole and he settled for a 9-point round instead. Bob did earn his first two wins of the season, going 2 – 3 with a 13.0 KPM, 0.91 cornholes per round, 4.1 gross points per round and 58% accuracy. Happy Birthday, Bob!
• Jack continues to play the best cornhole of his career, ending his night with an 11.4 KPM on 51% shooting. He posted a 19.6 KPM in his first game, before getting into a rhythm! Where Jack has really grown is his cornhole rate, finishing tonight with 0.8 cornholes per round. His season average is 0.73 cornholes per round, up significantly from his 2020 average (0.54 per round) and career average (0.35 per round). He’s also shining in clutch moments – tonight he tossed an incredible roll bag that dodged JV’s blocker and fell into the hole. Granted, as Jack was celebrating what he thought was an inning win, JV says, “You know better than to celebrate before Daddy is done!” and proceeded to throw an airmail to wash the round. Nonetheless, Jack is yet another example the growing talent in this league.
• Speaking of JV, he rebounded very nicely from his rough week 2. His 13.6 KPM, 0.93 cornholes per round and 62% shooting are great. But the dominant closer with the killer mentality came back this week, which is more important than anything else for JV.
• Turley finally fell from the ranks of the unbeaten. His 2 – 3 record is quite the change of pace compared to the 8 – 0 record he brought into the night. Despite the loss, he still recorded a 15.3 KPM and 73% shooting…and is still 10 – 3 on the season.
• Erik made his first regular season appearance this week, finishing with a 2 – 2 record and 11.7 KPM on 74% shooting. Not bad for taking almost a month away from the game.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – Far too often the league superstars dominate the headlines. Make no mistake, guys like Nick, Dibble, Galz, Barker, and JV have earned their accolades throughout the last six years. But, those “rising tides” have lifted all the “boats,” and this week several other players deserve some ink because of their stellar performance.

AN ODE TO THE “LITTLE GUYS”

Bushie, Turley and Bob might not be considered “superstars,” but all three are blossoming early in the 2021 season. Evidence of a breakout was obvious in the 2020 season for those paying attention, particularly toward the end of the year – Turley and Bushie joined Erik on the short list of players vying for 2020 Most Improved Player (I vow to start an official vote for that honor in 2021), while Bob finished his rookie campaign with more 12-point rounds than Dibble (two vs. one, respectively) in significantly fewer games (32 vs. 49, respectively).

Bushie was en fuego this week, scoring 69% of his tosses and averaging 6.0 gross points per round thanks to his 1.61 cornholes per round. If you hide the name associated with those statistics and polled the audience about who’s stats they were, 99% of the votes would go to Nick, Dibble or Galz.

Bushie held firm in head-to-head match-ups with Nick and Galz, scoring 16 cornholes and 60 gross points in the two games combined, while Nick and Galz combined for 17 cornholes and 72 gross points in those games against Bushie. However, in Game 11 he put the entire league on notice with a dazzling array of shots. Bushie led Galz to a 21 – 16 victory over Bob and Dibble, where he scored 22/24 tosses (91.7% accuracy), including 13 of his 22 scoring bags resulting in cornholes (averaging 2.2 cornholes per round). His scoring in the six round match went like this: 7 –> 10 –> 7 –> 6 –> 10 –> 8, resulting in an average of 8 gross points per round. Add it all up and his KPM in Game 11 was 26.0, which is a single-game LEG record!

For the week, Bushie finished with a 19.5 KPM and jumped from #7 to #4 in the Power Rankings.

Turley didn’t reach Bushie’s level this week, nonetheless, he was still explosive. Turley set a LEG record of his own, a single week high for accuracy – shooting 88% for the night (4 games). His 14.8 KPM was excellent, and could have been even better if not for his 0.71 cornholes per round (which is still great, but he came into the night averaging 1.35 per round).

Most importantly, Turley is a winner. He finished 4 – 0 for the second consecutive week, running his overall season record to 8 – 0…the next highest winning percentage in the league is 64%. Turley single-handedly carried KP to two wins over the 2020 Postseason Tournament Champions, Nick and Barker, in games of 21 – 14 and 21 – 19.

Finally, Bob drained two 10-point rounds while posting a 13.1 KPM this week. He played six games and stepped up to the plate facing the best of the best in every game.

• Hung tough with Turley in Game 1, losing the head-to-head, 38 – 31, including 9 – 7 in cornholes
• Dibble throttled him in Game 2, outscoring Bob 38 – 21 thanks to a 10 – 3 cornhole advantage
• Bob outscored Galz head-to-head in Game 4, 15 – 13
• Hung tough with Barker in Game 6, barely losing the head-to-head, 39 – 35, including 9 – 8 in cornholes
• Bob outscored JV head-to-head in Game 8, 28 – 25, including 7 – 6 in cornholes
• Bob was victim to Bushie’s incredible 26.0 KPM in Game 11, losing the head-to-head, 48 – 30, including 13 – 6 in cornholes. However, Bob was the second-leading scorer in that game

There was no easy way out for Bob, but he embraced the gauntlet and fared well with the 13.1 KPM, 62% accuracy, 4.2 gross points per round, and 0.87 cornholes per round. But one of the weirder stats of Bob’s night was an 0 – 6 record and -6.8 scoring differential, despite his sexy stat sheet.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Choosing the Game of the Night (“GoT”) seems to get harder by the week. Of the several contenders, Game 8 gets the nod this week. Nick and JV teamed against Bushie and Bob – the “haves” (seven combined titles) versus the “have nots” (one combined title).

Nick and JV took a 3 – 1 lead into the second inning, then Bob went to work. Two cornholes propelled him to a 7 – 1 advantage over JV, giving his squad a 7 – 3 lead.

In the bottom of the second inning Nick answered with three cornholes and a 9 – 2 inning win over Bushie, taking the lead back 10 – 7.

Bob and Bushie each chipped in one point in the third inning, cutting their deficit to 10 – 9.

JV used the top of the fourth inning to blow the game open, outscoring Bob 7 – 3. Nick outlasted Bushie in a high-scoring bottom half of the fourth, 8 – 6, giving his team a 16 – 9 lead.

A 16 – 9 lead with JV leading off the top of the inning, and Nick there in the bottom of the inning batting clean-up, if necessary. These are the moments when you’d expect the experience and talent of seven combined championships to takeover and suffocate an opponent like a boa constrictor.

Bob flipped a middle finger salute to that notion. He bested JV, 7 – 3, to keep he and Bushie in the game (16 – 13). Bushie remained hot, this time winning the high-scoring affair against Nick, 9 – 8. Don’t look now, but we have a game again! 16 – 14.

Bob tied it at 16 – 16 in the top of the sixth, and Bushie pushed his team’s scoring run to 11 – 0 in the bottom of the sixth by outscoring Nick, 7 – 3.

The “have nots” take a 20 – 16 lead!

Is this where Bob adds another brick to his foundation by closing a game against a championship opponent?

Not yet.

JV, arguably the best closer in the league, answered the bell again. Bob missed his first bag, and with it an opportunity to apply immense pressure to JV. The crowd could feel the momentum drain from Bob and surge through JV. A first toss cornhole from JV kick-started the boa constrictor.

Bob’s second bag failed to find the board. JV promptly drained another cornhole.

Gasping for air, Bob launched his third bag. Nada. JV’s third bag dropped directly in front of the hole, a perfectly executed blocker. 7 – 0, JV, and Bob now needed a cornhole to keep the game alive.

Bob’s final bag, an airmail attempt, was nowhere near. Game over, 21 – 20.

For good measure, JV attempted a push shot on his fourth bag in hopes of scoring a 12-point round. He missed, but it didn’t matter. The closer closed. The championship mettle of JV and Nick proved to be too much.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

The Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) came during Game 9 when a nip-and-tuck game turned into a blow-out. An 8 – 8 game after five innings quickly got out of hand when Dibble dropped a four-bagger on KP, outscoring him 12 – 2 to give he and Galz an 18 – 8 lead over KP and Bushie. Galz would go on to close the game, 21 – 8, in the bottom of the inning.

Dibble’s 12-point MSM was the second 12-point round of his night. Unlike last week when Dibble posted gaudy numbers that failed to produce victories, this week he was almost untouchable. An overall record of 5 – 1 paired nicely with his 19.6 KPM, providing Dibble the bounce-back week he needed.

NEWS AND NOTES

• A total of 19 10-point rounds were scored in week 2, which may be a record (that is one of the few stats we’ve never tracked). By comparison, only eight 10-point rounds were scored in week 1. Credit to the following guys who contributed to those 19 rounds:
  • KP – 6
  • Nick – 4
  • Bob – 2
  • Bushie – 2
  • Barker – 2
  • Galz – 2
  • Turley – 1
• Barker became the latest player migrating to the no step throw. He shouted instructions at his new throw more than any player in history – “get left!”, “sit down!”, “CUT!!!!”. Barker felt he played poorly, struggling to trust his new form. Yet, he registered a 16.0 KPM on 70% shooting and knocked in 1.14 cornholes per round. A comfortable, no stepping Barker is a scary thought. The rich out here getting richer
• The first mention of Nick in the “News and Notes” section might lead one to think he had a poor night. A 21.2 KPM, 3 – 3 record, 78% accuracy, 1.71 cornholes per round and 6.6 gross points per round is anything but poor. As exceptional as Nick was, he started the night 0 – 3 before rallying to win his final three matches of the night, but finished with just a +1.3 scoring differential. Just goes to show how difficult it is to win in this league.
• JV struggled this week. The commotion of hosting caused his individual performance to suffer – a 9.7 KPM, but a dismal 42% accuracy was truly his undoing. He fell from #4 to #9 in the Power Rankings, though he still had team success with a 2 – 3 overall record.
• Has anyone seen KP? He has been on a milk carton in 2021, and the search party still didn’t find him this week. Thanks to Turley’s excellence, KP managed a 2 – 3 record this week; without Turley an 0 – 5 record would’ve draped KP’s shoulders, slumping them even more.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – If week 1 is a precursor for what the 2021 LEG season has in store, we all need to buckle up and prepare for a wild ride. This week included 10 guys, all of whom were well over 10.0 KPM, a 14-point choke/comeback, and a Power Team receiving a bun run.

In 2017 the KPM was defined as part of an effort to enhance tracking of statistics. The group finished that season with only three out of 17 players above a 10.0 KPM (Nick – 12.4, JG – 10.5, and KP – 10.1).

The number of players above a 10.0 KPM increased to nine in the 2018 season (out of 23 players), but the season-high maxed out at 12.0 (credit to Galz posting that through 64 games, as Tony’s 12.5 KPM on only four games does not compare).

We’ve seen the league steadily improve from top to bottom, but this week was a huge jump for every player. As mentioned earlier, all 10 players easily cleared the 10.0 KPM mark, including six players posting 15.0 KPM or higher. Nick set the pace with a 17.6 on the evening, and Jack’s 10.7 was last of all players, though still excellent.

What’s scary about this record-setting week is the conditions weren’t great for scoring. The temperature was slightly cool and JV’s boards were playing an octane higher on the slick meter. Only four guys cleared 60% accuracy, with the sharpest shooter scoring 68% (Nick). In other words, more record-setting weeks may be on the horizon in 2021.

POWER COUPLE?

During tournaments we’ve always enforced a “draft protection” to prevent some of the top players from partnering to create a super team and distorting the competitive balance of the tournament. This week Nick and Dibble provided evidence that it might be time to reconsider the “draft protection” rule.

In Game 10 Nick and Dibble teamed to battle Turley and Galz. While Nick and Dibble are generally regarded as the top two players in the league, it would be a bit disingenuous to call it a slam dunk they’d dominate Turley and Galz. Sure, they’re likely the favorite in this match, but anyone can beat anyone on a Thursday night.

This, however, wasn’t as simple as “anyone beating anyone”. The match started rather pedestrian with Turley snagging one point against Nick in the top of the first inning, followed by Galz adding two more points in the bottom of the first.

Turley set the tone in the top of the second, sinking three cornholes on his way to a 10-point round and five points to make the score 8 – 0. Galz piled on with five more points in the bottom of the second inning by outscoring Dibble, 7 – 2. Suddenly, things were sideways with a 13 – 0 advantage to the underdogs.

Surely the big hitters would start connecting.

As the third inning got underway, The Weather Girls’ “It’s Raining Men” blasted in the background. Ironic because this was Turley’s requested song for the 2021 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament playlist.

Turley’s first bag of the third inning found the bottom of the hole, adding the pressure of five wet men to Nick’s shoulders. Nick’s first attempt to answer was unsuccessful, missing the board entirely on his first bag.

Turley’s sweet sweeping lefty toss scored three more points on his second bag, followed by one point from Nick. Turley upped his inning total to nine points with his third straight cornhole. Nick attempted to push two bags into the hole with his third shot, but both bags stopped just shy of the hole.

Turley’s fourth bag was an opportunity to complete a 12-point round and drive a spike in his opponent’s coffin. He lofted an airmail attempt to avoid Nick’s two blockers, but missed long. With two blockers at the front of the hole, Nick could throw low and hard to push three bags in for a 9 – 9 wash. He fired an aggressive shot, but was wide of his target, missing off the board long. A 9 – 2 advantage for Turley in the third inning made in 20 – 0 overall.

It was still raining men as Galz stepped to the plate. Even though the scorer’s table had just announced 20 – 0 for ALL to hear, Galz paused before his first toss and walked to the scorer’s table to inspect the computer with his own eyes. He confirmed the score and took a drag from his cigar as he strolled back to the board – “Alright Dibble, you’re getting a bun run right here!” Galz took his nuts and pushed them to the middle of the table, calling his shot right to Dibble’s face.

Galz walked the walk, sinking his first two bags and scoring one point on his third bag. During the same period, Dibble also scored all three of his bags – but, only one cornhole left him with a 7 – 5 deficit going into the final bag.

A cornhole from Galz would end it, solidifying the bun run. His final toss failed to find the board, leaving the door open for Dibble. A cornhole would give Dibble an 8 – 7 win in the bottom of the inning; anything less would clinch Dibble’s second bun run of his career and Winkler’s first during regular season play (he’s been bun run during a tournament).

Dibble’s arm swung back, and Nick started unzipping his shorts. The bag came out wobbly, Nick unbuttoned his shorts. Dibble leaned, as if to will the bag back on target. No such luck…the bag smacked the right side of the board and continued sliding off the back.

7 – 5 advantage to Galz, 21 – 0 bun run complete for Turley and Galz!

Nick dropped his drawers, put his shoes back on and fluffed himself while he waited for Dibble to undress. Note – “undress” is a generous description as both guys were wearing boxers that were longer than most people’s shorts and they kept their shirts on. Stricter enforcement of bun runs is coming in the future.

As they finished the bun run, Dibble dropped his drawers and gave the whole crowd a shot of his ass. His pasty white dumper looked like a vat of large curd cottage cheese. His ass was so lumpy it looked like he was smuggling chicken McNuggets in his ass cheek skin.

Of course we have footage. Thanks to both Coach Mike and Galz, we can relive this bun run over and over.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This week’s Game of the Night was difficult to choose because there were multiple thrilling games. Game 11 gets the nod, which pitted arch nemeses Paul and JV against Coach Mike and Bushie. On the heels of the bun run (remember, that was Game 10), Coach Mike and Bushie damn near put Paul and JV on notice to get naked. After five innings Coach and Bushie had a commanding, 16 – 2 lead.

Paul stopped the hemorrhaging in the top of the sixth, scoring five points to cut the deficit to 16 – 7. JV doubled-down by outscoring Bushie, 8 – 5, to make it 16 – 10 overall. Paul continued his hot streak in the seventh inning with two cornholes and a 7 – 0 win over Coach, which gave he and JV a 17 – 16 lead.

A 16 – 2 lead evaporated in the blink of an eye, and Bushie’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. JV sensed the shaky ground Bushie was on, and arguably the best closer in the league relished this moment against Bushie. JV drained his first three bags, while Bushie managed just four points. JV’s final bag for a 12-point round missed, but Bushie was still forced to make cornhole to extend the game. He didn’t, and Paul and JV completed a 19 – 0 run to comeback from a 16 – 2 deficit to win the game.

Paul and JV’s incredible two-round comeback was glorious, while Coach and Bushie had trouble stomaching their choke. At least it wasn’t raining men anymore.

PLAYER SPOTLIGHT

Nick may have topped the KPM charts this week at 17.6, but Turley may have been the most impressive player of the night. He finished second in KPM (16.1) while averaging 5.0 gross points per round and 1.35 cornholes per round, and sprinkled a fancy 4-0 record on top of it all. Turley-led teams were also 3-0 against Dibble, 1-0 against Nick, and 1-0 against Galz, and he outscored all of those players head-to-head in every match-up. What the rest of the league should find worrisome is that Turley *only* hit 57% of his shots.

JV went 4-1 and posted a 15.6 KPM (fourth highest) despite all the distractions of being a gracious host. His only blemish was a 21 – 17 loss in Game 4 when he partnered with KP. JV did his job outscoring Jack head-to-head, and scored 11 of his team’s 17 points. However, KP got jail sexed by Nick, preventing JV from a perfect record.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

Many Mushroom Stamp Moments (“MSM”) come during hotly contested matches and are often a swing in momentum or a game-clinching toss. This week’s MSM is neither.

In Game 2 Nick and JV beat Jack and Paul in a blowout, 21 – 6. With the score 12 – 5 after four innings, Nick dropped the hammer on Jack with cornholes on his first two bags, a hole blocker on his third bag, and a push shot to score two cornholes on his fourth bag. The only thing worse for Jack than Nick’s 12-point round was Nick’s aw-shucks attitude after the four-bagger. Four-baggers are so commonplace in Nick’s world that he rarely reacts, often just shrugging his shoulders like Michael Jordan hitting six three-pointers against the Portland Trailblazers in the NBA Finals. Coach Mike named this aw-shucks moment after it happened, “Jack you just got ‘Winklered’!” referring to a nonchalant 12-point round.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Despite being the recipient of the MSM, Jack played some of the best cornhole of his career posting a 10.7 KPM and shooting 55%. His 0.63 cornholes per round can improve, and when it does his KPM will make a huge leap. He finished with a 2 – 1 record, the only loss coming to Nick’s squad in the MSM game
• Coach Mike seemed to find his rhythm and confidence, posting an 11.3 KPM and scoring 0.88 cornholes per round. He had a nice mix of the back-handed taint tickler and the flat bag toss, playing each strategically based on what was required in the moment. It’s great to see Coach confident, playing loose and grooving with the music
• Galz was quietly 3 – 3 overall, but still posted a 15.4 on 61% shooting and 1.19 cornholes per round. He also had the biggest balls of the night, telling Dibble to his face that he was going to finish the bun run, then went out and did it
• Bushie and Paul posted excellent KPMs – 14.7 and 11.3, respectively – yet somehow couldn’t turn their exceptional play into victories, each of them struggling to 1 – 4 and 1 – 3 records, respectively
• Dibble had similar struggles as Bushie and Paul. Great KPM (16.0), accuracy (66%), and cornholes per round (1.19), but it felt empty considering his 1 – 4 record and bun run. Chalk it up to being just one of those nights. The numbers are there, and expect the wins to follow as Dibble continues posting outstanding statistics