BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The most controversial aspect of LEG is the foot snag. And while it’s not as exciting as an airmail, 12-point round, or a match decided by a walk-off toss, it has always been a hell of a source of entertainment.

For those who don’t know, the foot snag was invented by LEG in 2016. That’s right, we invented it and I’d challenge anyone to prove otherwise.

The concept is simple – a wayward toss that is gathered and controlled on another player’s foot (like a hacky sack) prior to the errant toss hitting the ground is considered to be a successful foot snag.

The thrill of a foot snag is twofold: 1) it’s damn hard to perform considering the unpredictability of speed and direction of the bag’s carom off the board; 2) and more importantly, the player who threw the errant toss is required to chug/finish their beer before the match is allowed to continue.

The concept was perfected by Humberto, who is widely considered to be the best foot snagger of all-time. He has single-handedly been a difference maker in tournaments through use of the foot snag, snagging players so that their intoxication level skyrockets and their skills diminish.

It wasn’t hard to convince the league that the foot snag needed to be a staple of LEG, and the numbers reflected that.

• In 2016 there were 38 total foot snags.
• In 2017 the total grew to 139, and we had a legitimate regular season race between JV and Adam for the foot snag crown. JV totaled 35, while Adam fell just short with 34. It was like a modern day McGwire vs. Sosa, without the steroids.
• In 2018, Adam was on a mission to win the foot snag crown and he did with ease, snagging 43 bags on the year. The league total dipped to 99, which was reflective of some brewing controversy among certain league members.
• In 2019, the controversy came to a head with several players calling it a distraction, claiming the game suffered because of it. Arguments can be made for each side, but the divisiveness of the topic caused many players to stop attempting the foot snag. The 2019 league total was just 11 snags, and JV had six of them.

Foot snags were trending toward classification as an endangered species. But it’s amazing what some new blood can inject into the league!

This week Jimmy popped his LEG cherry, which allowed players the opportunity to paint a full picture of the league – we gave a tutorial on the scoring format, the statistics spreadsheet, KPM concept, warned him of the consequences of losing a game 21-0, and of course, introduced the foot snag.

Listen, it’s our obligation to ensure every LEG player knows the league inside and out. We owed it to Jimmy to educate him on the foot snag rule. And then that new MFer went out and snagged three bags in his first week, including foot snagging his own partner, Paul, TWICE in Game 6! Of course Paul had to return the favor, foot snagging Jimmy later in Game 6.

No wonder they lost that game 21-5 to Erik and Barker…

Many players think it’s a sin to foot snag at all. But foot snagging your own partner is about as bad as it gets, in some players’ minds.

My view? Fuck it, foot snag anyone and everyone. You don’t want to be foot snagged? Don’t throw an inaccurate bag!

Thank you, Jimmy. We needed your energy and passion for rejuvenating the foot snag.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

The Game of the Night featured Jimmy and JV against Paul and Turley in Game 1. Jimmy’s inaugural game, and he makes the cut for Game of the Night!

Things didn’t go Jimmy’s way early on in this one. Through the first three innings, Jimmy scored just one gross point – 1/12 shooting to start his LEG career, and Paul capitalized by outscoring him 9-1 during that stretch.

JV wasn’t much better during that period, losing his head-to-head battle with Turley, 8-7. Jimmy and JV quickly found themselves in an 11-2 hole.

Jimmy flashed his potential in the fourth inning when he outscored Paul, 4-0, but his team’s deficit was still 14-6.

In the top of the sixth inning JV scored all four of his tosses, including one cornhole, while Turley managed only one toss on the board. A 6-1 advantage shrunk the margin to 14-11, and Jimmy piled on in the bottom of the sixth by besting Paul, 3-0.

The sixth inning surge allowed Jimmy and JV to tie the match at 14-14, and JV gave his team a 16-14 lead in the top of the seventh to cap a 10-0 scoring run.

Paul and Turley needed to answer. They were on the ropes, at risk of nearly choking away the game. That’s when Paul stepped in to save the game – in the bottom of the seventh he nailed a cornhole on his first toss, then scared the hole with his second toss settling fractions from another cornhole. Paul’s third toss was aggressive, clearly trying to take the second toss into the hole. But the toss was offline and long. Paul collected his nerves, and fired his final bag at the hole. It had a lot of steam on it, but tracked directly at the hole…the bag hit high on the board and slid into the hole, taking the other bag with it!

Two cornholes on the final toss of the inning, good for a 9-3 advantage and a 20-16 lead overall.

JV kept his team in it, cutting the deficit to 20-18 in the top of the eighth inning. But all eyes turned back to Jimmy and Paul in the bottom of the eighth.

Jimmy’s four throws produced four gross points, and Paul had managed just two points after his first three tosses. Paul had one bag remaining, and faced the possibility of a 20-20 tie, with bags going back to JV and Turley.

Paul stared at the hole, swinging his arm slowly back-and-forth, presumably developing a rhythm and measuring his throw. But it’s entirely possible he was daydreaming about which beer he’d drink next, and was clueless about the situation he was in. Nobody can ever tell with Paul, which is why we love him!

Paul let a low line-drive go toward the hole. Once again, this toss had heat on it. Once again, his final bag landed high on the board and pushed another bag in for a cornhole on it’s way into the hole.

Two cornholes on the final toss of the inning, for the second consecutive inning! This time, he erased a 4-2 deficit and flipped it to a 7-4 advantage, which closed the match, 21-18.

Paul’s clutch shots in the seventh and eighth innings were turning points in the match, and prevented Jimmy from his first career victory. For that, Paul earns this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment, his second of the 2020 season.

NEWS AND NOTES

Week 3 presented difficult playing conditions because of a strong breeze and uneven footing for the players to navigate in their throwing stance. KP decided to play in a new area of the yard to help preserve the health of his grass, and to avoid pissing off his neighbors, who interrogated Paul and Jimmy at the beginning of the night.

Several players still had really strong performances, but in general accuracy and consistency suffered.

• Jimmy cracks cornholes and he don’t care! It’s true, Jimmy knocked in 0.41 cornholes per round, which is really good given the playing conditions and the fact that he was making his LEG debut. His KPM was just 6.4, primarily due to 31% accuracy. By comparison, Jimmy wasn’t too far off from the following players, who have a solid track record:
  • Paul shot 32% and had a 7.1 KPM, which is crazy given the loud moments and MSM he had this week.
  • Erik shot 39% and registered an 8.0 KPM
  • Turley shot 43% and had an 8.6 KPM

Though Jimmy lost his first career game in heart-breaking fashion, he did finally get his first win and ended the night with a 2-4 record. Most importantly, he brought the foot snag back into style!

• Barker made his season debut and didn’t have much rust in his game. Despite the playing conditions, he shot 63% on his way to a 12.1 KPM and 2-1 record. The highlight of his night was holding off Galz in Game 10, losing the head-to-head battle, 39-37. Barker’s neutralization of Galz was key in helping his team to a 21-11 victory, including surviving a 10-point round from Galz by posting eight points to prevent a huge scoring swing.
• Speaking of Galz, the playing conditions seemed like no problem for him. He was the only player to produce a 10-point round (he had three of them), and he swished cornholes at a ridiculous 1.18 per round while also shooting 62%. His 15.4 KPM is really high on any night, let alone one like this. Galz was a stud, finishing the night 4-2 overall and was the most imposing player this week.
• JV was the most accurate player, shooting 65% this week. His 11.8 KPM is also impressive, and could’ve been much higher if he had made a few more cornholes (he averaged 0.66 per round). He finished 2-3 overall, and was oh-so-close to being on the right side of .500 if the Game of the Night had swung his (and Jimmy’s) way.
• KP posted a 13.4 KPM, which looks great on paper. However, that was inflated simply because of his cornhole rate (0.97 per round). His accuracy was way down (58% tonight, compared to 69% for the season coming into week 3) and, even more importantly, he was victim to two 21-5 losses. It’s hard to call that a good night when you get bombed that badly, no matter what the numbers say. He finished the night 3-3 overall

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Holy Bun Run Batman! We had dick out in Game 1 this week, nearly had it again in Game 2, and Game 3 produced more swingin’ sausage.

KP and Coach Mike started this week against JV and Dibble, and the latter duo only needed three and a half rounds to complete a 21-0 embarrassment. Not taking anything away from JV and Dibble, but KP and Coach were BAD. Coach’s KPM for the game was 5.4, while KP was a horrific 7.2 – a perfect recipe for tubesteak smothered in underwear.

Coach Mike’s pride was hurt, and he demanded we “run it back.” KP is the ultimate competitor, so he quickly agreed. Meanwhile, JV and Dibble snickered to themselves and happily obliged.

This time, JV and Dibble ran out to a 20-0 lead in just four rounds. Once again, they were very good, but Coach and KP were abysmal, with neither player scoring more than three points in any of the first four rounds.

In the fifth round, KP finally found some accuracy when he knocked three on the board and drained a cornhole for six points. JV only managed five points, and lost the opportunity for a second consecutive bun run. Dibble closed the game in the bottom of the fifth round, with a 7-6 advantage, for a 21-1 victory.

The foursome switched partners after two blowout games, with two-time LEG champion, JV, feeling confident that he and Coach Mike could find a different fate in Game 3. Turns out that partnership wasn’t any better. Coach Mike was bun run for the second time in three games, losing 21-0 in just four and a half rounds, capped by Dibble outscoring Coach, 8-1, in the top of the fifth round.

In each of the first three games Coach and Dibble played head-to-head, and Dibble outscored him 68-31, which was a primary factor in losing all three games by a combined score of 63-1 – yes, that’s SIXTY-THREE to ONE.

The Game 3 bun run was the sixth of Coach Mike’s career, and fifth since the 2019 season. He now has double the career bun runs compared to the second-most player (Paul – 3). He’s proven to be the king of bun runs, which is why we now call him “Aunt Millie Mike.”

GAME OF THE NIGHT

The Game of the Night pitted Aunt Millie Mike and JV versus Bushie and Erik (Game 8). Spoiler alert, this one didn’t end in a bun run. Hallelujah, because I don’t think we could handle anymore dingalings this week.

This match truly was a back-and-forth slugfest – JV and Aunt Millie jumped out to a 4-0 lead, followed by Bushie and Erik storming back to take a 5-4 advantage. This seesaw continued:

• JV and Aunt Millie back on top, 8-5
• Bushie and Erik rallying to a 13-9 lead
• JV and Aunt Millie chipped away, closing the deficit to 13-12 after six rounds

In the top of seventh round Bushie added another point, making it 14-12. Rihanna was banging in the background, and JV was juiced. Bottom of the seventh round:

Erik first toss – missed board

JV first toss – cornhole

Erik second toss – on the board

JV second toss – on the board

Erik third toss – on the board

JV third toss – missed board

Erik fourth toss – missed board

JV paused, focused on the hole, practiced his hip swivel…once, then twice. He fired his fourth bag, “RIGHT IN!” he yelled, bag not even two feet out of his hands. His high arching shot swished through the hole, barely grazing any wood!

“BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY!” he screamed, and gave a Tiger Woods-like fist pump. A huge, 7-2 round gave JV and Aunt Millie a 17-14 lead!

Bushie then tied it at 17-17 in the eighth round with seven enormous points of his own, including two really difficult cornholes.

In the bottom of the eighth JV bested Erik, 5-3, to take the lead back, 19-17. Bushie did his best to close the game in the top of the ninth, knowing JV was surging at the other end of the boards.

He owned a 5-3 advantage with one bag to go, which helped tie the game at 19 apiece. He needed a cornhole to close the game, but his final toss caromed off the side of the board.

This is JV time. Game tied at 19, pressure to make shots with the game on the line, and he had momentum with back-to-back scoring rounds of 7-2 and 5-3. Erik has had plenty of positive moments in his LEG career, but he generally hasn’t performed in these situations. Advantage JV.

Erik threw first and found the board. JV answered with his first toss on the board. Erik’s second bag was right at the hole, but stopped hole-high with one corner of the bag dangling inside the hole, not enough to fall into the hole on it’s own.

JV wisely threw short and boarded his second bag, avoiding taking Erik’s bag into the hole.

Erik launched his third toss like it was shot out of a cannon. The bag landed perfectly in the middle of the board, just beyond JV’s d-bag, and ran up toward the hole. It smacked the back of the hole with so much force that it dragged Erik’s hanging bag into the hole as well.

What a throw! Two cornholes in one toss, taking a 7-2 advantage during a 19-19 game, and JV only had two bags remaining.

Where’s Rihanna when you need her? JV’s third toss was dead center of the board, but short – one point. Erik’s final toss missed the board, which could have completely clinched the game had he just boarded it (even a JV cornhole would have drawn Erik’s advantage to 8-6, and the game would’ve been over at 21-19).

Pressure shifted back to JV. Down 7-3, needing a cornhole to keep the game alive, he launched a Joe Dumars rainbow for three points. Unfortunately his fourth toss was short again, piling up all four of his bags in the middle of the board. Erik held on for a 7-4 advantage, and won the game, 21-19, with his two-for-one cornhole on the third toss.

There’s your money, JV!

Erik rising to the occasion with the game on the line was an enormous growth moment for him. But doing it against JV, one of the league’s top players, should give him tremendous confidence. Given the magnitude of the moment, who it was against, and how he pulled it off, Erik deserves this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment for closing out Game 8 against JV.

HIGH ROLLERS

Up until now, you probably have the impression that Erik was really good and everyone else was running around naked. While that’s true, it’s not the entire story. A total of eight players participated this week, and six of them crossed the 10.0 KPM mark, while two more were damn close.

• Dibble – 16.8
• Galz – 15.1
• KP – 13.6
• JV – 11.9
• Erik – 11.5
• Bushie – 11.0
• Paul – 9.2
• Aunt Millie – 9.0

Excluding the three blowout games to begin the night, four of the next 10 games were decided by four points or fewer. The games were ultra-competitive, which you’d expect from the KPM distribution above.

For the second straight week, Erik started crushed his first game of the night. Last week he posted a 12.2 KPM in his first game, and this week he topped it at 12.6. Last week he cooled off as the night went on. This week he stayed hot, found the capacity to perform in the clutch, and finished with a 3-1 record.

Speaking of clutch, in the final game of the night (Game 13) Bushie and KP were down 20-19 to Aunt Millie and Dibble. Bushie closed the game with an 8-1 round against ol’ Bread Box.

Bushie had a great night, arguably his best individual night of any regular season to date.

Dibble had an incredible night, individually. His 16.8 KPM this week was just shy of his league-record 17.0 KPM (week 10 of 2019). He shot 72%, drained 1.21 cornholes per round, and scored 5.3 gross points per round. Yet, he finished just 4-4 overall, including 1-4 after the first three blowout games to begin the night.

Galz was also excellent this week, and shouldn’t be overshadowed by Dibble. His 15.1 KPM is crazy high, and he scored 1.07 cornholes per round while shooting 66%. In Game 6, he led his team (Paul) to a 21-6 victory while scoring 42 gross points and 12 cornholes in just six rounds (averages of 7 gross points per round and two cornholes per round).

NEWS AND NOTES

• KP started horribly and didn’t look good running naked with Aunt Millie. But he rebounded nicely after losing his first two games by a combined score of 42-1. He finished the night 6-3 (6-1 after getting embarrassed) and with a 13.6 KPM on 65% shooting. He also scored the only 12-point round of the night, which came in Game 5 against Galz – his 12-4 round blew open a 16-12 match and gave KP and Bushie a 21-12 win.
• Aunt Millie had many moments of embarrassment, including solidifying his career lead in bun runs. However, it still isn’t as bad as JV shitting his pants in week 6 of the 2017 season. Despite his struggles, he rallied to a 9.0 KPM and increased his accuracy to 55%. Though he finished with a 1-7 record, his lone win was a partnership with Erik in a 21-10 victory over JV and Paul. In that game, he won the head-to-head match-up with JV, 32-31, and drained a game-high seven cornholes.
• JV finished the night 4-5 with an 11.9 KPM on 70% shooting. Cumulatively he outscored every head-to-head opponent on the evening:
  • JV – 75 vs. Erik – 57 (though Erik put a Mushroom Stamp on JV’s head)
  • JV – 53 vs. KP – 42
  • JV – 33 vs. KP – 32
  • JV – 57 vs. Aunt Millie – 41

Oddly, JV never went head-to-head with Dibble, Galz or Bushie.

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The 2020 LEG season finally arrived, after a month-long delay due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Unlike the opener to 2019, there was no Josh the Uber driver stopping by for weed. There were no flying beer cans landing on anyone’s head, nor where there any fireworks with people shitting their pants.

Though no major moments of hilariousness stood out, the bond of brotherhood was on full display this evening. There was an aura of deeper appreciation for the friendly faces we had all been missing for months, and that gratitude for one night was greater than the accumulation of hilarity over the previous four seasons.

As is often the case in the early weeks of the season, rust and inconsistency reared their ugly heads. The closest match of the night was in Game 2, 21 – 15 (more on that later), while the remaining matches played out like this:

• Game 1: 21 – 9
• Game 2: 21 – 15
• Game 3: 21 – 7
• Game 4: 21 – 11
• Game 5: 21 – 3
• Game 6: 21 – 4
• Game 7: 21 – 11
• Game 8: 21 – 12

Of the eight games, six were decided by 10 points or more. Even though partners weren’t able to put it together at the same time, several individuals still had impressive performances.

Erik began the night on fire, leading his team to a Game 1 victory while shooting 67% and posting a career-best KPM of 12.2. He dominated JV in their head-to-head match-up, outscoring him 24-15 while sinking a game-high four cornholes. His 24 gross points were also a game high in just six rounds (4.0 gross points per round).

Going into the sixth frame, he and Galz held a 19 – 9 lead, and Erik landed his first two bags on the board to secure 21 points. Meanwhile, JV missed all four of his bags. Erik was last to throw, so the victory was wrapped up after JV missed his final toss. Erik had one final bag just for pride, and statistics, and he drained a cornhole!

Unfortunately for Erik, his hot start cooled off. Maybe it was fatigue from not playing, but he ended the night with a 7.6 KPM, though he did shoot a solid 53%.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Game 2 featured Paul and KP battling Bushie and Galz. In the early going, KP and Galz exchanged body shots and were essentially even through four rounds, Galz holding a 19-18 edge.

But on the other end of the board, Paul was taking it to Bushie (not like that, though Bushie probably would’ve preferred it like that). Paul’s 12-4 domination through four rounds led to an 11-4 lead.

A round five explosion was the turning point in the match. Galz drained two cornholes in a 7-1 ass whipping, while Bushie dropped three more cornholes in the bottom of the fifth on his way to a 10-4 advantage over Paul.

In the blink of an eye, Galz and Bushie erased a seven point deficit and gave themselves a 16-11 lead.

Paul was excellent in the sixth round, weathering the 12-point storm and helping pull his team closer, down only 17-15. But Galz was too much for KP, closing with rounds of 7-4 and 4-1, the latter clinching the match for he and Bushie, 21-15.

Galz was B-A-N-A-N-A-S in the game, averaging 5.5 gross points per round and dropping 11 cornholes. He outscored KP during the match, 44-30.

Galz may have been really good in the Game of the Night, and for the entire evening – posted a 13.4 KPM, 5-1 record, 4.3 gross points per round, 0.88 cornholes per round, and 64% shooting – but, he receives several strikes against him because he arrived smiling and strutting like he was The Man, yet was carrying a six-pack of 7 oz. Coronas. Yes, you’re reading that properly, SEVEN OUNCES!

I don’t care if your KPM is 13-whatever, if you drink like a 13-year old girl. Step your game up, Galz!

AN EXCITING BLOWOUT?

It’s easy to look at the box score and assume a 21-3 game was boring. But Game 5 had plenty of fireworks, despite the blowout. JV and Erik faced Galz and Paul, and like the Game of the Night, Paul’s team raced out of the gate. They held an 8-3 lead early on, and Galz was primed to build on that lead in the third round.

After three bags each, JV held a 4-3 lead in the third round. On Galz’s final toss of the third round, he bullied two bags into the hole, flipping a 4-3 deficit to an 8-4 advantage. It was impressive and a demoralizing blow to JV.

But we all know JV has the heart of a two-time champion, and on his final toss he drew the bag right to left, curving it between bags that appeared to block the hole, and sank a big time cornhole to keep Galz from blowing the game open. A clutch shot from a clutch player.

Unfortunately for JV, his heroics were short-lived. In the next round Paul dropped his nuts on Erik’s face, tea-bagging three cornholes on Erik and narrowly missing a fourth three-pointer. His 10-2 round pushed their lead to 17-3 and drained all the air from JV and Erik’s balloon. One round later Paul and Galz closed the game, winning 21-3.

Paul’s 10-point round was easily this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”). Congratulations to Paul for the first MSM of the 2020 season!

NEWS AND NOTES

• As mentioned earlier, Erik was phenomenal in a Game 1 victory. But, he proceeded to lose his remaining three games to finish 1-3 with a 7.6 KPM and 53% shooting.
• Bushie didn’t make enough cornholes to produce a high KPM (only 8.2 KPM in week 1), but he did shoot 49% despite drinking Oakland county out of beers. His 10-point round on Paul in the Game of the Night was a big-time performance, and key to his team’s comeback victory. He finished the night 2-4.
• Paul was only 1-3 on the night, but his MSM was unbelievable and he nearly crossed the 10.0 KPM threshold, posting 9.8 KPM. His accuracy was also excellent, shooting 60%.
• Individually, JV had a great night – shooting 67%, recording a 10.3 KPM, and was one of three players (Bushie and Paul were the others) to post a 10-point round. Unfortunately for him, his partners were inconsistent all night and he finished with just a 3-4 record.
• As good as Galz was, KP was better on this night. Galz did out-perform KP in the Game of the Night, but KP got revenge in a Game 7 victory while also outscoring Galz, 39-34. KP finished with a 15.2 KPM, 4-1 record, 76% shooting, and 0.94 cornholes per round. An excellent night for the reigning 2019 Postseason Champion.