CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – It took all of two games and JV’s brain was scrambled, and the rest of the guys were on notice as to the type of night this would be. It wasn’t really drugs that got him going. Rather, it was a fat dip of long-cut combined with Squirt and whiskey and a rip from KP’s Cohiba.

Just like that, JV was spinning. Literally. He wobbled like his legs were overcooked spaghetti noodles and his tosses were errant more often than accurate (just 47% shooting in Game 2).

JV limped to a 2-2 record through his first four games and averaged just 2.8 gross points per round, his wins due to his partners’ performances (Paul and Galz). But his equilibrium finally returned and he finished the night strong with a 10.4 KPM, 62% shooting, 3.5 gross points per round and a 6-5 record.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

JV’s rebound was so strong that he clawed his way to the week 7 MSM. Game 11 was a heavyweight showdown when JV partnered with Galz to take on Paul and Dibble.

JV and Glaz pounced on their opponent early with a 12-4 lead behind Galz outscoring Dibble (24-19) and JV getting the best of Paul (18-15). They would push their lead to 18-8 two rounds later and seemed to be cruising to victory.

But Dibble went Rocky IV on Galz, rising from his blood-soaked corner to throw some heavy

blows to Galz’s chin. Dibble hit him with a 7-3 jab and followed it up with a 12-4 left hook to the temple. The four-bagger was a killer that erased an 18-8 deficit and gave his team a 20-18 lead.

Galz and JV were shook like Ivan Drago, but this movie was not destined for the same ending. A spin-free JV had bags in his hands with the game on the line against Paul. How could he not get up for this moment?

JV scored all four of his tosses, including two in the hole, to notch an 8-1 advantage on Paul and win the game 21-20. JV’s clutch performance to clinch the match against his fierce rival is this week’s MSM.

SWEET ITALIAN SAUSAGE

For the second straight week Coach Mike was victim of the bun run. Many in the league are actually skeptical that the fix is in at least once per week. Does Coach actually like to get naked? Is he paying bribes to other players to help rig the system?

Coach has been flagged for now and will be monitored closely. Very closely. Especially when running his naked lap around the backyard.

This week Coach joined forces with Custer and they were thoroughly dominated by Mike T. and Barker. Completion of the bun run only required three and a half rounds thanks to Mike T. He was on fire, NBA JAM style, scoring 13 of his 16 tosses for the game (81%), seven of which were cornholes. He scored 27 gross points in just four rounds (averaging 6.75 gross points per round), which almost doubled the next highest gross point scorer in this game (Barker, his partner, had 14 gross points). Mike’s 27-11 ass kicking of Coach Mike contributed 16 of his team’s 21 points. He was incredible.

DIBBLE DABBLE

Scott Dibble joined the league in week 5 and immediately leapfrogged everyone to the top of the Power Rankings. He has resided there ever since, and wasn’t about to be unseated this week.

Dibble was sensational, draining three 12-point rounds and another three 10-point rounds. His 15.9 KPM this week is the highest in league history, and is primarily due to his absurd cornhole rate (1.13 per round) and accuracy 69%.

He likely already has the 2019 Rookie of the Year award locked down, but he has two championships on his mind – the Singles Tournament and Postseason Tournament.

CHAMPIONSHIP DEBUT

For the first time during the 2019 regular season, Barker graced us with his presence. He’s had more time off than Tiger Woods, appearing only in the 2019 Kick-Off Tournament since taking home the 2018 Postseason Tournament title – his second title in 2018.

Despite the time off, there was little rust in his game. He shot 77% and scored 4.6 gross points per round on his way to a 14.0 KPM and 2-1 record.

The one loss could be a sign of the tide turning, a shift in the balance of power. He teamed with JV, who together won both tournaments in 2018, to battle Galz and Dibble in Game 13.

The championship duo looked like the glory days through two rounds when they posted a 6-0 lead. But Galz and Dibble roared back with a 21-0 run to win the game, including a four-bagger (12-point round) by Dibble against Barker.

It was Barker’s first taste of Dibble’s greatness. He’ll adjust like he always does, but he now knows what the rest of the league knows – taming Kimmy Gibbler will be a tall task.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This week’s Game of the Night featured Erik and JV vs. Dibble and Coach Mike in Game 1. Erik had the unenviable task of a head-to-head with Dibble, but he neutralized him through the first four and a half rounds by matching his gross points (15-15) allowing JV to outwork Coach Mike during this stretch (17-7) and give their squad a 14-4 advantage.

But in the bottom of the fifth Dibble shook loose. He dropped cornholes on his first three tosses to take a commanding 9-2 lead with one bag remaining. Erik’s final toss was a well-executed blocker to the upper-middle of the board in an attempt to limit the damage and prevent a four-bag round. The strategy worked when Dibble’s final toss couldn’t bull it’s way through Erik’s blocker. There would be no 12-point round this time, but the damage was done – the 10-3 round closed Dibble and Coach’s deficit to 14-11.

In the top of the seventh round, JV swished a cornhole on his way to a 5-2 advantage over Coach Mike, giving his team a 17-12 lead. But in the bottom of the seventh, the bad man was back again. Dibble went balls deep in the hole, recording another 10-point round (his second during a three round stretch). Erik managed two bags on the board or else it would’ve been game time. Nonetheless, Dibble’s 10-2 seventh round placed his team on the brink of victory, leading 20-17.

In the eighth, JV closed the gap to 20-19 and Erik came up big in the clutch to draw even with Dibble in the bottom half of the round.

JV needed to close the game in the top of the ninth because Dibble was scorching the hole at the other end. After four bags JV held a 3-1 advantage over Coach Mike, which would’ve been good for 21-20 win. But Coach Mike had one final bag to toss. He fired the back-handed taint tickler, carrying it deep up the board. The bag landed on one of JV’s prior bags and ricocheted to the ground. Luckily for Coach, the force of his toss pushed JV’s bag off the board, making JV’s advantage 2-1 and saving the game for Coach and Dibble (it was now tied at 20).

JV shook his head in disgust and the cocky Coach boasted, “Can you see me coming JV?!?!”

JV fired back without missing a beat, “See you coming? I’ve been sticking it in your ass every round!”

The outburst was part frustration he couldn’t close the game and likely partially because he sensed Dibble was about to hand him a loss.

Erik had other plans in mind. His first toss found the bottom of the hole, placing immense pressure on Dibble. First toss for Dibble missed the board, then Erik responded with another bag on the board followed by another Dibble miss.

Erik held a 4-0 lead after two tosses and continued to apply pressure when his third bag found the middle of the board. Erik now clung to a 5-0 lead after perfectly executing a blocker with his third toss.

Dibble needed two cornholes in his final two tosses to keep the game alive. He delivered a fastball, trying to ram his way through Erik’s blocker and into the hole. But he had too much heat on the toss and it skipped off and over the board.

The game was over, and Erik was flawless in his navigation of the ninth round against a scary opponent. Once he hit the first cornhole, he played defense and made life hard for Dibble to execute.

Sensational play from Erik helped his team win, 21-20, and his poise was critical to surviving two 10-point rounds from Dibble.

Game 1 was a hell of a start to a great night.

NEWS AND NOTES

• It’s a travesty we’re this far into the recap and haven’t mentioned Galz in detail. Truth is, he was on pace to have an all-time night. Through his first three games he was 3-0, with an untouchable 19.6 KPM! Yes, you read that right…19.6 KPM! During that stretch:
  • He averaged 6.2 gross points per round
  • He scored 28 cornholes in just 19 rounds (said another way, 28 cornholes in 76 tosses – good for one every 2.5 throws)
  • He scored 61 out of 76 total tosses, which is good for 80% accuracy

It was a tough pace to sustain, and he eventually dipped a bit as the night continued. But he still finished with a 14.3 KPM, 68% accuracy, 4.6 gross points per round, 0.93 cornholes per round, and a 6-3 record. He also posted one 12-point round and two 10-point rounds.

• Paul continues to be the most improved player in the league this year. He registered a 10.7 KPM this week, making his KPM for the season 10.3 (good for seventh in the Power Rankings). Paul also scored an incredible 10-point round, draining two bags on his final toss of the round, on his way to a 3-3 record. However, he was victim of Dibble’s first career footsnag and cried about it for 10 minutes because “I’m drinking a 7% beer!” After immense peer pressure, and harassment from JV, Paul followed the rules and chugged his 7% beer.

  

• Erik was steady throughout the night with an 8.2 KPM and 55% shooting. He won his first match of the night, then lost five in a row to finish 1-5. Every week he proves to be accurate and reliable (shooting 56% for the season compared to 43% in 2018), but he’s victim to some tough match-ups, and lack of cornholes.

CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – League expansion is always welcomed, and every player in the league has the green light to invite friends. The league commissioner trusts the judgment of the other players to evaluate if someone will be compatible with the rest of the league, and add to the quality of it both on and off the court.

While the league commissioner has that trust, JV very clearly does not.

JV and KP arrived early this week intending to assist Coach Mike with set-up and get a jump start on beverage consumption. Coach began discussing the friend he invited to join during week 5.

Coach: “His name is Scott Dibble. You can just call him Dibble.”

KP: “The more the merrier! I assume he’s going to fit in with the rest of the guys?”

Coach: “He’ll fit in. He likes to party and loves cornhole. He’s really good. He’s probably better than Galz, and will be near the top of the league. He could probably play with the guys on ESPN if he practiced as often as they do.”

Those words carry hefty amounts of weight. As Coach walked into the garage JV and KP reacted to the hype.

KP: “Better than Galz, huh? Best in the league? Could play with the guys on ESPN? This should be fun.”

JV: “Fuck this Kimmy Gibbler guy. I can’t wait to kick his ass tonight.”

Just like that, JV’s fire was stoked and KP’s excitement to score-keep was at an all-time high.

FULLER HOUSE?

Moments later an unassuming guy walks up the driveway in camouflage shorts and glasses. THIS is Kimmy Gibbler…errr, Scott Dibble? THIS is the guy who is going to dominate the league?

JV glanced at KP, ready to whip his dick-copter out and go Bob Saget on the new guy’s ass.

So naturally in Game 1 of the night, JV finagled his way into going head-to-head with Dibble. JV wanted a piece of him so badly that he agreed to partner with his arch nemesis, Paul, to take on Dibble and Coach Mike.

Dibble was granted first throw honors, and he promptly sank a cornhole. JV launched his first bag and missed the board. Oh shit!

Dibble’s second toss landed perfectly in the middle of the board and slid beautifully into the hole. JV then missed the board with his second toss. OH SHIT!

Was Dibble really going to post a 12-point round with the first four bags of his LEG career? If so, how do we ban this dickhead from the league?

Thankfully Dibble’s third toss missed the board, causing JV and KP’s blood pressure to fall a few notches. He still punched JV in the mouth in round one, winning 7-1 thanks to two consecutive cornholes.

Like true champions often do, JV responded in round two. He sunk two cornholes and bested Dibble, 7-4. In rounds two through six JV outscored Dibble 27-17 and was the primary factor in his team’s 20-14 advantage.

In the top of the seventh round JV and Paul held a 20-14 lead and JV had honors to throw first.

JV Toss #1 – cornhole!

Dibble Toss #1 – cornhole!

JV Toss #2 – cornhole!!

Dibble Toss #2 – on the board

JV Toss #3 – missed the board

Dibble Toss #3 – missed the board

Dibble may be every bit as good as Coach Mike hyped him to be, but lesson #1 in this league is DO NOT fail to capitalize on one of the few opportunities JV gives you to beat him. JV had a 6-4 advantage and missed his third toss – Dibble needed to pounce on him, especially being down 20-14 in the match. The errant third toss by Dibble showed some weakness.

JV Toss #4 – on the board

Dibble Toss #4 – he needed a cornhole to tie the round (7-7) and extend the match, but JV’s bag was the perfect blocker to defend against a cornhole. Dibble loaded up, delivered his final bag firmly toward the hole, but missed. His bag came to rest in the upper right portion of the board, and he had lost the round (7-5) and the match (21-14).

JV looked over at KP with a fist pump, and KP smiled, both inside and out. Welcome to the league, Dibble.

In fact, Dibble is damn good – at least on this night. His overall record was middle of the road at just 8-6, including a combined 3-4 against JV and Galz (1-2 against JV, 2-2 against Galz). The rest of his numbers were elite:

• 14.6 KPM on 65% shooting, averaging 4.7 gross points per round and a ridiculous 1.02 cornholes every four tosses
• He had two 12-point rounds and two 10-point rounds
• In the fourth round of Game 11 Dibble flashed his excellence. Two of his first three bags came to rest near the hole, while the third bag missed the board. His final toss carried all the way to the hole, clipping the other two bags and dragging them through the hole. A 9-point shot! It’s not the Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week because it was early in the match, extending a 3-2 lead to 9-2…but, it was against JV.
• Dibble outscored every opponent head-to-head except Paul, who actually dominated Dibble in their only match-up (more on Paul later):
  • Won head-to-head with Marco – 140 – 135
  • Won head-to-head with JV – 70 – 66
  • Won head-to-head with Galz – 42 – 29
  • Won head-to-head with Adam H. – 108 – 61
  • Won head-to-head with Jack – 36 – 28
  • Lost head-to-head with Paul – 23 – 41

The neighborhood just got tougher – but any Dibble dominance won’t come easy.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This might be the hardest decision of the night. Not only because we played 23 games in week 5 (special shout-out to the commissioner and best scorekeeper in the world, KP, for score keeping two games at once), but because 10 of those 23 games were decided by 5 points or less.

Many of those 10 games decided by 5 points or less are contenders for Game of the Night, but the ultimate winner was the thriller in Game 16 featuring Dibble and Marco vs. Paul and Adam H. On paper, this looks like a complete mismatch, and that’s no disrespect to Paul or Adam H. Dibble and Marco are powerful players who can generate explosive rounds at any moment, whereas Paul and Adam H. are good, steady players.

Well, paper played itself out in real life through the first four and a half rounds with Marco and Dibble racing out to a 13-6 lead with Marco putting the team on his shoulders and dominating Adam H. during that span (25-15).

But in the bottom of the fifth, Paul drained a cornhole and added three more bags on the board en route to a 6-3 advantage over Dibble, giving his squad the juice it needed.

Adam H. closed it to 13-10 in the sixth with a modest 3-2 advantage over Marco, and Paul continued the surge with a 3-0 drubbing in the bottom of the sixth to tie it at 13 apiece.

In the seventh, Marco overpowered Adam H. to reclaim the lead at 16-13, and it looked to be the type of knockout blow you’d expect from Marco and Dibble – one that most assume Paul and Adam H. couldn’t handle.

But assuming makes an ass out of “u” and “me.” Paul was on fire and rolled Dibble, 8-4, in the bottom of the seventh, giving his team a 17-16 lead. Adam H. chipped in with another point, making it 18-16 in the top of the eighth round.

Going into the bottom of the eighth, Paul had dominated Dibble, 31-18 throughout the game. He and Adam H. were on the verge of potentially the biggest upset of the 2019 regular season, but Paul needed to deliver one more time in the clutch.

Unfortunately for Paul, he landed all four tosses on the board but couldn’t register any cornholes. His four gross points were still better than Dibble’s three, boosting his team’s lead to 19-16. But, the bags were turned back over to Adam H. who faced a dangerously explosive Marco.

Marco sank two cornholes in his first three tosses (the other toss missed the board) and Adam H. managed only two bags on the board while missing his other two. Marco held a 6-2 advantage with one bag to go, needing only one bag on the board to give his team a 21-19 win. He loaded and fired, but he had too much heat on the toss as it hit the board and slid long and off.

Adam H. and Paul exhaled, but still had to dig themselves out of a 20-19 hole. In the bottom of the ninth round Paul drained a cornhole and tossed three perfectly placed blockers on the board for 6 gross points. Meanwhile, through three tosses Dibble had two on the board and missed another bag. He was down to his final throw staring at a 6-2 deficit and needing a cornhole or else the game was over. Sound familiar – needing cornhole on a final throw to extend the match or it’s game-set-match? Indeed, Dibble faced the same situation in Game 1 against JV.

Once again, Dibble delivered the same result. He launched his final toss, going for an airmail to avoid Paul’s three blockers, and missed the board. Paul and Adam H. did the unthinkable! They pulled the 21-20 stunner over Dibble and Marco!

Paul was incredible, outscoring Dibble, 40-23, and averaged 4.4 gross points per round thanks to nine total cornholes (in just nine rounds). Adam H. played well, but couldn’t keep pace with Marco’s cornhole rate (Marco held a 7-1 cornhole advantage on Adam), losing that head-to-head match, 40-25.

ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID, NEVER A BRIDE

Runners-up for Game of the Night were Games 8 and 10, which we’ve briefly recapped.

Game 8

Match-up: JV and Dibble vs. Galz and Jack

Recap: JV and Dibble jumped out to a quick 12-0 lead in the first round thanks to Dibble routing Jack, 9-0. But Galz and Jack went on a 16-1 run over three rounds to take a 16-13 lead, highlighted by Galz sinking seven cornholes and outscoring JV 8-7, 10-6, and 7-1 during that run.

They pushed their lead to 19-15 before Dibble and JV came roaring back with their own 6-0 run to close and win the game 21-19. The game was tied at 19 and Dibble clinched the win with a 4-1 advantage over Jack.

Highlights: Galz won the head-to-head with JV, 38-33, while Dibble outpaced Jack, 36-28. Both Galz and Dibble knocked in nine cornholes apiece during the nine round game.

Game 10

Match-up: JV and Galz vs. Paul and Marco

Recap: You thought JV and Dibble’s 12-0 start through round one was impressive in Game 8? Well, JV and Galz held a 17-0 lead after two rounds against Paul and Marco. The dynamic duo combined for nine cornholes in two rounds (that’s 9 of 16 tosses going for cornholes), with JV besting Paul 8-2 and 6-4, while Galz crushed Marco 7-5 and 9-2.

Paul and Marco could’ve thrown in the towel, but they chipped away at the deficit, crawling out of the hole with an 18-3 run behind the cold spell from Galz that allowed Marco to outscore him 21-10 during the run. On the other end, Paul got the best of JV, 23-19, closing the margin to 20-18.

With the game on the line, the bags were in the hands of enemies in a tense head-to-head match. Could Paul drive a stake in JV’s heart yet again? No this time – JV was accurate with all four bags on the board, while Paul landed only two on the board. That 4-2 advantage was enough for JV and Galz to recover from almost blowing a 17-0 save.

Highlights: JV topped Paul head-to-head, 37-31, and Marco edged Galz, 28-26. Interestingly, Galz only scored 26 gross points despite registering the most cornholes of any player (seven). Excluding his seven cornholes, Galz was a horrific 5/17 on his remaining throws, which was a big factor in the Paul-Marco comeback.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

THIRTEEN 10-point rounds and two 12-point rounds were posted this week, so deciding on the MSM was extremely difficult. However, this week’s award goes to Coach Mike for completely turning Game 6 around. He and Marco were down 15-8 to Galz and Dibble when Coach dropped a 10-point round (10-4 scoring) on Galz in round five, igniting his team to 10 net points in the fifth round to claim an 18-15 lead. They held on for a 21-20 comeback victory and it was all initiated by Coach’s 10-point stamp on Galz’s forehead.

BUN RUNS!

Adam H. was welcomed to LEG the hard way – by getting bun run twice this week! JV was the dealer on both occasions:

• Partnered with Marco in Game 7 to shutout Adam and Mike T. in just two and a half rounds! JV and Marco drained six combined cornholes in just 20 tosses and Marco scored a 10-0 TKO on Mike T. It was an impressive 21-0 victory, and JV was so excited he joined in the bun run action.
• Partnered with Dibble in Game 13 to shutout Adam and Marco, this time in three rounds! JV and Dibble swished 11 combined conrholes in 24 tosses, capped by Dibble’s 12-point round to win the game.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Marco pushed Dibble for top KPM of the night, coming in at 14.5 (Dibble was 14.6) thanks to 73% shooting, a ridiculous 0.89 cornholes per round and 4.7 gross points per round. His record was a modest 6-6, but he was excellent all night including three 10-point rounds – one of which negated the impact of a Dibble 12-point round.
• Galz was hot and cold, but was hot more often than not. He posted a 13.4 KPM thanks to 0.88 cornholes per round, 63% shooting and 4.3 gross points per round. Galz recorded the most 10-point rounds of any player this week (four). He also sneaked out a 7-4 record when almost all the other guys hovered around .500 for the night.
• JV was hellbent on teaching Dibble the ABCs of LEG, and he did just that. JV finished with a 13.2 KPM, which was lower than Dibble’s because of too much whiskey and Squirt throughout the night. But his 68% shooting, 0.78 cornholes per round and

  

  4.3 gross points per round were all elite measures and he also saved seven games out of seven tries. His record was incredible given the competition (10-3) and he added a footsnag for good measure.

• Paul crossed the 10.0 KPM line for the first time in his LEG career! He strolled into the clubhouse at 11.3 KPM for the night. Paul’s accuracy has been very good all season (tonight 59%), but he typically struggles to make cornholes at a high clip. This week he scored them at 0.65 per round, and that was the difference with elevating his KPM.
• Coach Mike earned the MSM and a 9.1 KPM. He shot 48% and knocked in 0.53 cornholes per round, leading to 3.0 gross points per round. Coach continues to build confidence each week, resembling the ice cold killer from 2016 and 2017.
• Mike T. may have found his game. The rookie posted a career-best 8.7 KPM, which doesn’t jump off the stats page when comparing to the heavyweights above. What you need to understand is Mike is a multi-time dart league champion – that means he has talent and championship pedigree that will eventually translate to cornhole, and he finally figured out his stroke midway through the night. Early on his KPM sunk to the 5 – 6 range, but he turned it on in the second half of the night and drove his KPM to 8.7. He made more cornholes than usual (0.53 per round) and his accuracy was much improved (44%). The tide turned for Mike in Game 17 when he outscored Coach, 36-32 and dropped seven cornholes. Keep an eye on Mike for the rest of the season – he’s rounding into form at the right time.
• Jack was 2-3 overall and was reasonably accurate (44%), but he couldn’t score any cornholes (only 0.33 per round) on a night when every other player was hitting for three. His KPM suffered because of it (7.2), but he had some impressive moments throughout the night, including outscoring Dibble, 28-27, over eight rounds after losing the first round, 9-0, in Game 8.
• Adam H. played well in his debut, logging an 8.7 KPM on 54% shooting. He couldn’t hit cornholes with the pace the others did (only 0.38 per round), but played well most of the night despite finishing with a 2-9 record. The highlight of his night was in Game 14 when he was toe to toe with JV and held his own, losing only 46-42 and weathering the storm of 14 cornholes from JV (Adam had nine cornholes of his own).