Month: May 2019

May 23, 2019August 29, 2020

2019 Week 2 Recap

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – A few weeks removed from claiming the Preseason Kick-Off Championship as The Mega Powers (with Matt Meyer), Galz stormed into Beverly Hills as THE mega power in week 2.

Galz was a little slow out of the gates, averaging just 2.8 gross points per round in Game 1, but he and Bushie still dominated Steve and Mike T., 21-2.

Then the Two-Hearted soaked through Galz’s veins and his business casual clothes started to burst at the seams as his skin faded to a sinister green. He was no longer human, going on a run of dominance that left the remaining five players helpless trying to win games against him.

Galz finished the week with an 11.6 KPM on 67% shooting and averaged 3.8 gross points per round. His sterling 5-0 record was the envy of the other players, who were buried in a graveyard of “L’s.”

GAME OF THE NIGHT

It should come as no shock that the week 2 Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) belonged to Galz – in the Game of the Night he turned a competitive Game 4 on it’s head. Justin and Mike T. battled Galz and Jack throughout the entire match, with Justin owning the head-to-head against Jack, 29-16, helping his team hang tough late in the match.

After Justin topped Jack 7-3 in the eighth round, closing an 18-12 deficit to 18-16, the bags were back in Galz’s hands against Mike. The rookie, playing in only his third LEG event, looked and felt overwhelmed by Galz, the newly crowned prince of the league. But he had an opportunity to put pressure on Galz with the first throw of the ninth round.

Mike Toss #1 – missed the board

Galz Toss #1 – cornhole!

Mike Toss #2 – missed the board

Galz Toss #2 – cornhole!!

Mike Toss #3 – missed the board

Galz Toss #3 – cornhole!!!

Mike Toss #4 – missed the board

Galz Toss #4 – CORNHOLE!!!!

Listen, the match was essentially over after each player’s first toss, but after two tosses it was clinched. Galz maintaining his focus and going for the 12-point round shows you the type of killer he is. A perfect 12-point round to clinch a game, 21-16, and blow open an otherwise tough match earns him this week’s MSM.

As great as Galz was, Justin nipped at his heels all night. This was Justin’s first appearance of the season after a solid rookie campaign in 2018. He finished this week with an 0-2 record, but both of his losses were against Galz’s teams. He held his own in his only head-to-head against Galz (outscored only 34-30), and he finished with a 10.1 KPM on 69% shooting while averaging 3.5 gross points per round. Though the win/loss record felt empty, Justin’s individual performance was a promising sign for his sophomore season.

NEWS AND NOTES

Bushie finished 2-2 with a 7.9 KPM, and averaged a respectable 0.48 cornholes per round. But his accuracy struggles (40%) caused his gross points per round to suffer (2.6 gppr) and drove his KPM down. He did end the night on an upswing, averaging 3.25 gppr in Game 5, and outscored Jack head-to-head (26-17) to help his team to a 21-11 victory.
Jack also struggled with accuracy, shooting 42%, and had an anemic cornhole rate (0.19 cornholes per round). Add it all up and the result was a 5.9 KPM, despite a 1-1 overall record.
Unfortunately for Steve-O, there was no Josh the Uber Driver to get stoned with this week, and his game paid the price. After a blistering week 1 where he registered a 10.2 KPM, Steve-O limped to a 5.8 KPM in week 2 thanks to dreadful accuracy (31%), cornholes per round (0.33), and gross points per round (1.9).
Mike brought up the caboose this week with a dismal 3.1 KPM because of 19% shooting, 0.19 cornholes per round, and 1.0 gross points per round. Maybe he had some pre-wedding jitters because Mike is much better than his week 2 performance. But, inconsistent rookies are not uncommon at LEG. Mike will grow from this experience.

May 15, 2019August 29, 2020

2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament Recap – We Love the 80s!

NOVI, MICHIGAN –

“I am a real American”

“Fight for the rights of every man”

“I am a real American”

“Fight for what’s right – fight for your life!”

These lyrics echoed from a Jeep as it turned on Cypress Way. JV and KP halted their tournament setup progress to lookup. Before the Jeep clicked into park, the driver’s door swung open and out stepped Galz Hogan.

He didn’t turn the car off, didn’t close the driver’s door, didn’t lower the theme music. He stepped right up to KP, grabbed his hand holding an invisible mic, and sent a message to JV. In short, “I’m coming for you, brother!”

Yes, Galz was coming for JV, but “you” meant 16 other guys vying for The Cup.

LEG was once again the epicenter of the cornhole world as 18 players arrived at the 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament, decked out to celebrate the 1980’s.

Coach Mike hopped out of an Uber looking like Run-DMC with a boombox already blasting Cypress Hill and a cooler full of Bud Light Limes in the other hand. The tournament theme was to honor Coach (and Bushie, Steve-O, and Tony – all of whom couldn’t participate) for turning 50 years old in 2019 by throwing things back to his college years.

He was the guest of honor, and he was dressed to kill.

DRAFT LOTTERY

The draft lottery was completely random, with the ping pong balls deciding teams rather than giving the players any option to draft their partners. The commissioner felt it was the most logical way to create balanced teams, and it seemed to work.

Two sets of ping pong balls were numbered 1 – 9 and entered into the lottery wheel. The two players who randomly drew ping pong ball #1 were partners, and so on. The resulting teams were formed:

Team Name	Player 1	Player 2
Dego ‘N Oates	Marco	Scott
The Mega Powers	Galz	Matt Meyer (“Meyer”)
Larry Bird is His Uncle!	Coach Mike	Dan
Cornholios	Jeff Vack	Brian Parr (“BP”)
District 5	KP	Paul G.
2010s	Pierson	Paul
Three Inches is Better Than Nothing	JV	Mike T.
Cinco de Drinko	Bert	Kyle
No Whammies	Ryan	Barker

On paper, two dominant teams stood out – Dego ‘N Oates and The Mega Powers – while the remaining teams were extremely balanced. No Whammies looked dangerous because of two-time champion, Barker, and the first-ever champion, Ryan Harvey.

Larry Bird is His Uncle! was also a paper-contender thanks to the rapidly improving Dan Ranville, and the veteran explosiveness of Coach Mike.

JV and Mike were a big mystery because Mike was making his first LEG appearance, but they were hell-bent on forming the most ridiculous team name just so KP had to engrave The Cup in case they won, Three Inches is Better Than Nothing.

ROUND ROBIN

Not only were teams randomly drafted, but the round robin schedule was also randomly decided prior to formation of teams. Nine teams each played four round robin games, the results of which were used for seeding the triple elimination tournament.

The dominant teams on paper turned out to truly be dominant in the round robin session. Dego ‘N Oates won all four of their games, outscoring their opponents by a ridiculous 84-30 margin and their closest game was a 21-11 win over District 5.

As good as Dego ‘N Oates was, The Mega Powers somehow found a way to more dominance. Galz Hogan was unbelievable, making cornholes look effortless and leading his team to a perfect record (4-0) by outscoring opponents 84-24. Their closest game was a 21-8 victory, which happened twice (poor District 5 and 2010s).

Thanks to a larger margin of victory, The Mega Powers earned the number one overall seed and Dego ‘N Oates claimed the number two seed. Both teams were on opposite sides of the bracket and seemed primed for a collision course to meet in the late stages of the tournament.

The remaining seven teams licked their wounds from the top two seeds and took turns beating the hell out of each other. Four squads finished 2-2 in round robin: Larry Bird is His Uncle!, District 5, Three Inches is Better Than Nothing, and No Whammies.

Cinco de Drinko was ready to party from the moment the first bag was tossed, and they were aggressively foot snagging their opponents. They finished round robin 1-3, but might’ve had the most impressive win in round robin for any team not named The Mega Powers or Dego ‘N Oates. Kyle found his rhythm and Bert showed signs of his 2017 championship form when they dominated the talented Larry Bird is His Uncle! in a 21-13 win.

Pierson and Paul, 2010s, prevented Cinco de Drinko from joining the 2-2 club when they knocked them off 21-15. Both 2010s and Cinco de Drinko finished round robin with 1-3 records.

Cornholios struggled to score, finishing with just 20 total points after four round robin games (losses of 21-4, 21-5, 21-1, and 21-10). In fairness, they were ripping shots of Fireball and the beer was flowing like water. BP was a blur of neon and tie dye awesomeness, while Jeff’s mustache interfered with every aspect of his game, other than downing booze like a proud drunken republican. The rookie duo finished round robin at 0-4, and firmly as the number nine seed.

BP looking like an orange sherbet push-up pop

The tie-breakers were analyzed, seeds were locked, and the triple elimination Royal Rumble was on:

TOURNAMENT

After a win-less round robin, Cornholios pulled an upset in game 1 against Cinco de Drinko. Booze calmed their nerves, and the “woosh” sound of BP’s windbreaker pants every time he stepped to throw distracted Bert just enough to allow Cornholios to hang around in this game. As we all know, the longer an underdog hangs around, the bigger threat they become. Cornholios pulled a stunner, scoring more points (21) in the victory than they did in four round robin games (20). Their reward? A date with The Mega Powers.

Another mild upset occurred in the #4 vs. #5 match-up when Larry Bird is His Uncle! topped Three Inches is Better Than Nothing, 21-16.

Fill him with mouthwash and put him in your mouth?

Coach Mike didn’t know if he should fill JV with mouthwash and put him in his mouth, or drop cornhole after cornhole on his ass. Thankfully for all of us Coach decided to drop cornholes.

During post-game interviews Coach celebrated on the sidelines getting “tricky” with his gyrations. Meanwhile, a distraught Magnum P.I. (Mike) couldn’t stop telling KP all about his three inches.

Magnum PI assuring KP that three inches is better than nothing

No Whammies exploded in the first round, embarrassing District 5, 21-1. Barker and Harvey (combined three LEG titles) seemed poised to make noise. But that quickly ended in the second round when #2 Dego ‘N Oates handled them easily, 21-12.

The winner’s bracket collision course between the two best seeds came to fruition after The Mega Powers dealt a bunrun to two straight opponents, beating #9 Cornholios and #5 Larry Bird is His Uncle! 21-0.

Rules are rules, and the victims payed homage to the bunrun tradition – BP, Jeff, and Coach Mike all chose calisthenics sandwiched between Fireball shots, while Dan honorably pranced a naked lap around the house.

Dan does CrossFit. Dan got bunrun. Dan gets naked. Don’t be like Dan.

Once bunrun festivities settled down, the winner’s bracket heavyweight showdown captivated everyone. Galz had an incredible sense of urgency as the match kicked off – the aspiring champion knew remaining undefeated would give his team an excellent opportunity to not only make the championship match, but win it.

Dego ‘N Oates were shaky early, hitting the board but unable to drop cornholes, opening the door for The Mega Powers to capitalize. The Mega Powers built an enormous early lead, pinning their opponent on the mat. They kept them down for the three count in a 21-7 statement victory.

Dego ‘N Oates looked to regroup in the loser’s bracket against a mess of parity.

After an encouraging tournament start with an upset victory in the #8 vs. #9 game, Cornholios subsequently lost three straight matches, including the bunrun discussed earlier, and exited the tournament. BP and Jeff didn’t make the rookie splash they hoped for, but they gained valuable experience and grew with every game in the tournament.

After going 1-3 in round robin with a few close losses (21-16 and 21-17) 2010s (Paul and Pierson) hung with Dego ‘N Oates for a while before losing 21-12 in the first round. Unfortunately they couldn’t ride much momentum to produce positive results the rest of the way, as they were bounced from the tournament with consecutive losses to Cinco de Drinko (21-16 and a sickening 21-20 loss) after beating Cinco de Drinko in round robin.

Cinco de Drinko proved to have at least the heartbeat of a champion behind the versatility of Bert. They finished the tournament 2-3 with the wins over 2010s, but had the head-scratching loss to #9 Cornholios and a devastating 21-20 loss in the loser’s bracket to District 5.

Kyle happy about two wins over **2010s** (Paul and Pierson)

In the end, the mix of a former champion (Bert) and a rookie (Kyle) was enough to be extremely competitive but not a true threat to win The Cup, as they were eliminated by Three Inches is Better Than Nothing in the double loser’s bracket.

For the first time since 2017, Barker and JV were separated and forced to battle one another. The random scheduler allowed them to avoid meeting in round robin, but the tournament is the ultimate storyteller, creating drama and intrigue with almost every match. In the loser’s bracket players grabbed a beer and were glued to the head-to-head match between former teammates.

Even their partners ratcheted up the intensity – Mike undid the top few buttons on his Hawaiian shirt and Ryan strutted by JV, muttering “You’re going down fucker,” as he backhand tapped JV in the nuts. JV threw a full Labatt Blue Light in retaliation and

Barker shouted, “Easy, JV!” from the other end of the court. From championship partners to enemies. It was lovely, like when Macho Man Randy Savage turned his back on tag team partner, Hulk Hogan, over jealously with Miss Elizabeth.

JV, like Macho Man, took a lesson at the knee of his former partner. Barker bent JV over and spanked that ass again and again, not letting up until he and Ryan had clinched a 21-7 victory. Did JV ride Barker’s coattails during their championship runs in 2018? Like Hogan, was Barker the real muscle behind this dynamic duo? It certainly looked that way.

JV was never the same, and Three Inches is Better Than Nothing fell to the double loser’s bracket where they were later eliminated after a second loss to Larry Bird is His Uncle!.

District 5 featured Paul G. and KP, who finds himself in year 4 of LEG and still chasing championship dreams. They were absolutely throttled in the #3 vs. #6 match-up with No Whammies (21-1), but seemed to find solid footing with back-to-back 21-20 victories in the loser’s bracket over Cinco de Drinko and Larry Bird is His Uncle!.

Sadly for District 5, they lost even in victory over Larry Bird is His Uncle!. They were down late in the match, 20-19, when KP fired a bag with hopes of draining a cornhole and ending the match. As KP threw, he crashed to the ground in pain with a knee injury, forcing him to withdraw from the tournament. Paul was incredible, handling the adversity of a fallen partner and a 20-19 deficit to outscore Coach Mike in the next frame and win the game, 21-20. District 5 advanced to play No Whammies, but

Watch out! Even drunk neighbor Jim tried to warn KP

Paul G. and Barker found themselves without partners after KP’s injury and Ryan was disqualified for violating the league’s substance abuse policy for the second time in his career – really hard to do considering the substances allowed to be abused.

Paul G. and Barker agreed to partner and form the “new” District 5, while No Whammies was gutted and forfeited the last two matches after starting the tournament 2-1.

In the loser’s bracket, District 5 had their hands full with Dego ‘N Oates and a trip to face The Mega Powers in the balance. Dego ‘N Oates was fresh off a humiliating loss to The Mega Powers, eager to get back on track against an upgraded District 5 team compared to the one they crushed 21-8 in round robin (Barker substituted for KP).

As he always does late in tournaments, Barker began to find his groove and Paul G. did an excellent job of stalemating Marco. They stood toe-to-toe with Dego ‘N Oates deep into the match, but Marco and Scott put too much pressure on their opponents with their exceptionally high cornhole rate. That pressure broke District 5’s pipes in a thrilling 21-19 win for Dego ‘N Oates.

District 5 needed that win for confidence and proof that the new partnership was championship caliber. They couldn’t secure victory and in the very next match in the double loser’s bracket, the red-hot Coach Mike and Dan (Larry Bird is His Uncle!) punched a one-way ticket for District 5 to go home.

THE HOME STRETCH

Larry Bird is His Uncle! pulled the #4 vs. #5 upset victory in the first round and were subsequently bunrun by The Mega Powers, sending them into a tailspin where they lost their next match and faced elimination in the double loser’s bracket.

With backs against the wall, Coach and Dan excelled and won four straight matches, including avenging a 21-20 loss to District 5 to earn a bid in the semifinals. Their opponent? Let’s get to that…

The Mega Powers vs. Dego ‘N Oates part deux was an enormous match. If The Mega Powers win, they march immediately to the championship match undefeated. If Dego ‘N Oates win, they even the score and instantly play a third match with The Mega Powers with a trip to the championship on the line.

The rivalry didn’t disappoint, as Dego ‘N Oates had revenge on their minds and championship dreams in their hearts. They knocked The Mega Powers from the ranks of the undefeated, winning 21-17.

Larry Bird is His Uncle! waited as chapter three of The Mega Powers vs. Dego ‘N Oates needed to be written. For the third time in the tournament, these heavyweights squared off. Once again, Marco and Scott applied so much pressure by sinking cornhole after cornhole. Galz is equipped to hold-up under these conditions, but Meyer is not – he’s an impressive rookie, but his game is suited for accuracy on the board, not repeated cornholes.

Dego ‘N Oates won again, 21-14, sending the #1 seeded The Mega Powers to the double loser’s bracket to face upstart Larry Bird is His Uncle! in an elimination match.

Larry Bird is His Uncle! had celebrated their four straight victories and semifinal appearance a bit too much during the two games between Dego ‘N Oates and The Mega Powers. Coach Mike was standing on the deck, shirt off, pounding Bud Light Limes as he sang “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” better than Whitney could ever dream. Meanwhile, Dan STILL wasn’t wearing pants and claimed his fistful of gummies were “CBD only.” They were a goddamn mess, and were in no condition to upset The Mega Powers in the semifinals, losing 21-10.

It was a great run for Larry Bird is His Uncle!, with Dan playing the best he’s ever played and reaching his second semifinals ever. Coach Mike was the powerful bully we grew to love in 2016 and 2017 when he was one of the best in the league and claiming a spot on all-tournament teams. He played excellent while also proving to be the best ‘80s DJ in metro Detroit.

The championship match was set, and really wasn’t a surprise to anyone – Dego ‘N Oates (9-1, counting round robin) vs. The Mega Powers (8-2, counting round robin). The teams entered the title match with a combined record of 17-3 with all three losses coming to one another. The key this time is Dego ‘N Oates only needed one victory to claim The Cup, while The Mega Powers had no margin for error, needing to win two straight matches for The Cup.

Scott had been here before and possesses the poise to navigate the stress of a championship match. He’s won a title and finished runner-up, so everyone expected him to play at a championship level. The question for Dego ‘N Oates was if Marco could continue to perform at a dominating level under the pressure of a championship.

The first game might have been the best of all between these two teams, with no team ever holding more than a four point advantage. Meyer’s underrated skill of being able to draw even with his opponent was crucial in this game as he kept Scott from having a game-breaking round. That allowed Galz to throw knockout blows at Marco. The Mega Powers somehow found a way to squeak out a 21-18 win to force one final game for all the marbles.

It was only appropriate to play a fifth and final game between these two dominant teams since each team had a 2-2 record against the other. Confidence is a fickle thing, and suddenly The Mega Powers overflowed with it, while Dego ‘N Oates were a bit rattled.

Galz is an extremely dangerous cornhole threat on every toss, but he’s a special talent because of his versatility. Sure cornholes are sexy, but his bag placement to play defense and create poor angles for his opponent is almost more valuable than the

three points he registers for every cornhole. He displayed this skill in the final game, causing all sorts of problems for Dego ‘N Oates and helping The Mega Powers romp to a 21-8 victory to claim the 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Championship!

Galz was clearly a stud, but Meyer was the straw that stirred the drink. He elevated his play and his head-to-head stalemate of Scott in the first game of the title (fourth game overall between the two teams) made this championship possible.

Congratulations to Galz and Meyer for etching their names in LEG championship lore. Can these Mega Powers stay together

for more historic moments? Can Galz join a select few LEG greats as players to claim both the Preseason and Postseason titles in the same year? Those questions are for another day. For now, they’ll enjoy this one.

ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM

The 2019 Preseason All-Tournament Team consisted of the top four players based on votes cast among all players. Galz was voted to his second-consecutive all-tournament team after carrying The Mega Powers to The Cup. Marco and Scott earned their first all-tournament team honors after an impressive runner-up finish, and Coach Mike earned all-tournament team honors for the third time in his career (2016 and 2017 Postseason tournaments), taking home his first tournament MVP honor after leading Larry Bird is His Uncle! to a semifinal appearance.

May 3, 2019August 29, 2020

2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament Preview – The Road to The Cup Starts Here

The 2019 League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Preseason Kick-Off Tournament is less than 24 hours away, so let’s dive into what to watch for and some intriguing story lines of the tournament.

CHAMPIONSHIP PEDIGREE

The Preseason Kick-Off Tournament will feature five past champions who’ve combined for seven titles. Humberto Klein (2017 Preseason Kick-Off Champion), Ryan Harvey (2016 Postseason Champion), Scott Garavalia (2017 Postseason Champion), Brent Barker (2018 Preseason Kick-Off Champion and Postseason Champion), and Jeff Valantas (2018 Preseason Kick-Off Champion and Postseason Champion).

Odds are excellent that one of these guys will drink from The Cup at the end of the tournament.

WHAT ABOUT THE NEW GUYS?

The 2019 Preseason Kick-Off will feature four players who are making their LEG debut, and two more players (Pierson and Paul G.) who are playing in only their second LEG tournament.

The following players are making their LEG debut:

Mike Turley
Kyle Dillard
Jeff Vack
Brian Parr

With one-third of the field having little experience, and no track record for the remaining 12 players to evaluate their skills, this should create a lot of balance and unpredictability.

DARK HORSES

LEG has never had this much parity, and there are several players who are capable of hoisting their first Cup.

Marco Bonanni hasn’t found much tournament success in his career, but he has been a beast during the regular season, including 2018 when he finished the season with an 11.0 KPM and averaged an amazing 0.75 cornholes per round (good for third in the league). Marco runs hot and cold, but when he’s hot, nobody in the league can rival his game.

Coach Mike had a sluggish 2018 season, but he’s been an intimidating presence in 2016 and 2017, and so far his 2019 season is off to a great start. Last week he posted a 9.7 KPM and shot 58%, but more importantly, his patented back-handed taint tickler looked dangerous again. If Coach lets the groove get in, his opponents are in for a very long and frustrated day.

Adam Rymill is one of the most improved players in the league, steadily climbing the Power Rankings year-over-year. Last year he finished 7^th in the Power Rankings (out of 23 players) with a 10.9 KPM on 55% shooting and averaged 3.5 gross points per round. Adam was also the league leader in footsnags with 43 for the year, adding another dangerous weapon for his opponents to consider. For the new guys – footsnags are when you control an errant toss on your foot (like a hacky sack) without letting it hit the ground. The person who threw the bag has to drink half their beer before play resumes. Adam is the best in the league at this strategy.

THE FAVORITES

It’s easy to pick JV or Barker, both of whom partnered together in last year’s Preseason Kick-Off and Postseason tournaments and won both titles.

No doubt these guys will be in the hunt again, especially considering Barker has won two titles, finished runner-up twice and his worst tournament finish was a semifinal appearance (2017 Preseason Kick-Off, as Stockton Malone).

Scott Garavalia is likely to contend for the title considering he has a championship and a runner-up finish in his only two tournament appearances. He also has great family tradition to honor, since his brother JG is a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen legend (two LEG championships and an MVP award).

Andrew Galczyk (known as “Galz”) was the 2018 LEG Rookie of the Year, finishing second in the Power Rankings with a 12.0 KPM and averaged a league-best 0.78 cornholes per round while adding 58% accuracy. Galz finished runner-up in the 2018 Singles Tournament and gave Nick Winkler (another LEG legend) all he wanted in the championship match. He also partnered with Bushie to make a run to the semifinals of the 2018 Postseason Tournament.

PREDICTION

The 2019 Preseason Kick-Off has all the ingredients to be the best tournament in history. We have a strong group of unknown players who will likely be X-factors in the outcome of the tournament, and five past champions who undoubtedly will stand in the ring and take everyone’s best shot.

A preview is worthless without a prediction, and my prediction history has been pretty good (last year I picked Barker to breakthrough and win the Preseason Kick-Off).

Galz burst onto the scene in 2018 and has been arguably the best individual player in the league since his arrival. He almost won the Singles Tournament and carried a Coors Light-loaded Bushie to the semifinals in the Postseason. This feels like Galz’s moment – Bell’s Two Hearted from The Cup! Cobra Kai!

May 3, 2019August 29, 2020

2019 Week 1 Recap

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The offseason was long and arduous, a grueling 31 weeks without Thursday night debauchery. We all felt it, but the desire to unwind with the boys was evident as the 2019 season kicked off with week 1 at Bushie’s house.

Each player arrived in similar fashion –carrying an armful of beer with a smile on his face, eager to dap and hug the crew they’ve missed for seven months.

And then there was Steve-O, strolling up the driveway with a Moscow Mule in one hand, a six-pack in the other. He ushered past the group in the middle of a game, continuing toward Bushie’s deck. A few moments later, another random guy walks up the driveway.

KP thinks to himself, “Did Steve invite a friend to join LEG? If so, cool.”

As the stranger approached, KP welcomes him, “What’s up man, I’m Kurtis,” as he shakes hands.

“I’m Josh, nice to meet you,” the new guy says.

KP replied, “Welcome to cornhole. How do you know Steve?”

“Oh, I’m the Uber driver and I’m just here for the weed,” Josh announced, and continued inside to join the group.

Welcome to the 2019 LEG season!

ADVANCED ANALYTICS

LEG already has the most advanced cornhole analytics and statistics in the world, tracking each player’s toss accuracy, gross points scored per round, and cornhole rate per round (among many other stats). Those three statistics are used to derive a player’s KPM (think baseball’s WAR or slugging percentage), which is the measure of each player’s true power, regardless of wins and losses.

As the old saying goes, if you aren’t evolving, you’re dying. During the offseason, LEG analytics experts Erik Wolfe and Jeff Valantas developed a few new statistics that are implemented for the 2019 season.

LEG now tracks saves, chokes and comebacks for each player.

Save – defined as a player/team having a 10-point lead or greater during a match, and hangs on to win the match. An example, Erik’s team leads 17-5 and wins the match 21-14. This would result in a “save” for Erik and his partner.

Choke – defined as a player/team having a 10-point lead or greater during a match, and fails to win the match. An example, Erik’s team leads 17-5, but losses the match 21-19. This would result in a “choke” for Erik and his parter.

Comeback – defined as a player/team facing a 10-point deficit or greater during a match, and coming back to win the match. An example, Erik’s team trails 17-5 and comes back to win the match 21-19. This would result in a “comeback” for Erik and his partner. A “comeback” always corresponds to a “choke.”

The new metrics will allow us to monitor how players/teams handle leads and deficits under pressure.

ALREADY IN MIDSEASON FORM?

After more than seven months off, you’d expect some sluggish play in week 1. That wasn’t the case at all as everyone elevated their game. JV was the cream of the crop, already in championship form in an effort to prove he can win without Barker carrying him through a tournament.

JV was excellent, going 4-1 and posting an 11.5 KPM (best of the night) on what was likely his most accurate night of his career, shooting 69%. He scored two 10-point rounds, including one in the final game of the night against KP that helped change the complexion of the game. JV and Erik were down 12-3 to KP and Joe, and that’s when JV dropped a 10-pointer on KP to score 3 points (KP scored 7 points to limit the damage), making the score 12-6. But that propelled his squad to a 12-2 run, giving them a 15-14 lead that ultimately helped them win the match, 21-17.

Erik was throwing darts all night long, shooting 57% – easily the most accurate night of his career. His cornhole rate was extremely low (just 0.09 cornholes per round – 0.45 per round is considered average) and because of that his KPM (6.8) dipped to an unexpected level considering how accurate he was. But, shooting 57% is a damn good start because you can’t make cornholes without accuracy. Erik should be encouraged by his night.

This week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment (“MSM”) is also awarded to Erik for closing the aforementioned game against KP and Joe. The score was 19-17 and Erik secured the victory, 21-17. But it was how he did it – plugging the hole harder with 3 bags than JV’s thumb plugs a b-hole. A bit too much late-night moisture kept Erik from a 10-point round, with 3 bags hanging on the hole and his final bag safely on the front of the board. Great accuracy, a bit unlucky, and excellent defense against any comeback hopes Joe had.

The hole was just a little too wet for Erik, costing him a 10-point round

Congratulations to Erik for the first MSM of 2019. He also finished the night 3-1. High KPM is nice, but the scoreboard still matters.

Steve-O came to play, hitting a ridiculous 0.68 cornholes per round and averaged 5 cornholes per game on his way to a 10.2 KPM and 3-0 record. It’s a great start to the 2019 campaign for Steve. How much credit should go to Josh the Uber driver? It will be intriguing to see if Steve can maintain this level of play throughout the year.

After a down year in 2018, Coach Mike looked like himself again in week 1. He had the back-handed taint tickler tickling the hole all night. He finished the night 2-2, but had one of the most impressive wins of the night when he partnered with Steve to take down JV and KP, 21-15. Coach won his head-to-head match-up with JV, 31-24, to lead his team to victory.

Coach shot 58% and averaged 0.47 cornholes per round and 3.2 gross points per round, finishing with a 9.7 KPM. This is the game Coach displayed in 2016 and 2017 that made all his opponents’ buttholes pucker every time he tossed a bag. He’s in a good place as the 2019 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament approaches.

Paul may have finished 0-2, but he was REALLY good this week. He shot a ridiculous 68% (just behind JV’s week-best, 69%) and averaged 3.2 gross points per round despite a low cornhole rate (0.24 cornholes per round). Similar to Erik, Paul suffered from lack of cornholes and finished with a 9.0 KPM, which is excellent, but lower than expected give his supreme accuracy. One of Paul’s losses was a heart breaker, which we’ll breakdown in the Game of the Night.

Staying with the accuracy theme, Joe had one of his most accurate nights ever at 40% and also had his highest KPM at 6.4. In the game mentioned earlier where Erik earned the MSM, Joe was solely responsible for the 12-3 lead he and KP possessed after five rounds. He outscored Erik head-to-head during that period, 18-8, contributing 10 of his team’s 12 points to that point. Unfortunately for Joe, he couldn’t keep Erik down and his partner (KP) struggled against red-hot JV.

Like Josh the Uber driver, Bushie was just here for the weed. He struggled to a 1-2 record on 34% shooting, 2.0 gross points per round and a 5.9 KPM.

KP struggled to find consistency, battling a limited throw because of his rough offseason. He still finished with an 11.4 KPM on 64% shooting and averaged 3.8 gross points per round. But the clutch killer instinct wasn’t there, and his opponents sensed the blood in the water, pouncing on him all night. KP went 2-3 for the night, all of his losses can be chalked up to his inability to handle his head-to-head match-ups.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

Game 1 ended up being the best of the night, featuring Paul and KP against Bushie and JV, including the always entertaining head-to-head match-up of Paul vs. JV. The storied history of this match-up requires it’s own blog, but the one we’ll never forget is when JV over-trusted a fart in the middle of Paul’s throw (a savvy distraction technique) and shit himself. Go back to the 2017 Week 6 Recap if you want the full recap on that one.

Bushie and JV sprinted out of the gates, taking a commanding 13-3 lead, bringing a save opportunity into play. JV was incredible during that stretch, outscoring Paul 20-13, while Bushie got the best of KP, 12-9.

Paul was his team’s defibrillator, dropping two cornholes on JV to win the next round, 7-3, and jump starting the comeback. Over the next two rounds Paul and KP completely erased the 13-3 deficit and tied the game at 13. They then upped the lead to 19-13 and looked to clinch the comeback and hand Bushie and JV a choke.

However, the only thing JV chokes on is steak and a ball gag. He was determined not to blow a save opportunity – with no margin for error, he outscored Paul 10-3 in the final three rounds to lead his team to a 21-19 seesaw victory.

JV got the best of this head-to-head clash with his nemesis, Paul. He outscored Paul 48-41 and held the edge in total cornholes (7 to 3). Meanwhile, KP and Bushie were the junior varsity players with KP taking the head-to-head match-up with Bushie, 31-28 (each player dropped 4 cornholes).