CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – It took all of two games and JV’s brain was scrambled, and the rest of the guys were on notice as to the type of night this would be. It wasn’t really drugs that got him going. Rather, it was a fat dip of long-cut combined with Squirt and whiskey and a rip from KP’s Cohiba.

Just like that, JV was spinning. Literally. He wobbled like his legs were overcooked spaghetti noodles and his tosses were errant more often than accurate (just 47% shooting in Game 2).

JV limped to a 2-2 record through his first four games and averaged just 2.8 gross points per round, his wins due to his partners’ performances (Paul and Galz). But his equilibrium finally returned and he finished the night strong with a 10.4 KPM, 62% shooting, 3.5 gross points per round and a 6-5 record.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

JV’s rebound was so strong that he clawed his way to the week 7 MSM. Game 11 was a heavyweight showdown when JV partnered with Galz to take on Paul and Dibble.

JV and Glaz pounced on their opponent early with a 12-4 lead behind Galz outscoring Dibble (24-19) and JV getting the best of Paul (18-15). They would push their lead to 18-8 two rounds later and seemed to be cruising to victory.

But Dibble went Rocky IV on Galz, rising from his blood-soaked corner to throw some heavy

blows to Galz’s chin. Dibble hit him with a 7-3 jab and followed it up with a 12-4 left hook to the temple. The four-bagger was a killer that erased an 18-8 deficit and gave his team a 20-18 lead.

Galz and JV were shook like Ivan Drago, but this movie was not destined for the same ending. A spin-free JV had bags in his hands with the game on the line against Paul. How could he not get up for this moment?

JV scored all four of his tosses, including two in the hole, to notch an 8-1 advantage on Paul and win the game 21-20. JV’s clutch performance to clinch the match against his fierce rival is this week’s MSM.

SWEET ITALIAN SAUSAGE

For the second straight week Coach Mike was victim of the bun run. Many in the league are actually skeptical that the fix is in at least once per week. Does Coach actually like to get naked? Is he paying bribes to other players to help rig the system?

Coach has been flagged for now and will be monitored closely. Very closely. Especially when running his naked lap around the backyard.

This week Coach joined forces with Custer and they were thoroughly dominated by Mike T. and Barker. Completion of the bun run only required three and a half rounds thanks to Mike T. He was on fire, NBA JAM style, scoring 13 of his 16 tosses for the game (81%), seven of which were cornholes. He scored 27 gross points in just four rounds (averaging 6.75 gross points per round), which almost doubled the next highest gross point scorer in this game (Barker, his partner, had 14 gross points). Mike’s 27-11 ass kicking of Coach Mike contributed 16 of his team’s 21 points. He was incredible.

DIBBLE DABBLE

Scott Dibble joined the league in week 5 and immediately leapfrogged everyone to the top of the Power Rankings. He has resided there ever since, and wasn’t about to be unseated this week.

Dibble was sensational, draining three 12-point rounds and another three 10-point rounds. His 15.9 KPM this week is the highest in league history, and is primarily due to his absurd cornhole rate (1.13 per round) and accuracy 69%.

He likely already has the 2019 Rookie of the Year award locked down, but he has two championships on his mind – the Singles Tournament and Postseason Tournament.

CHAMPIONSHIP DEBUT

For the first time during the 2019 regular season, Barker graced us with his presence. He’s had more time off than Tiger Woods, appearing only in the 2019 Kick-Off Tournament since taking home the 2018 Postseason Tournament title – his second title in 2018.

Despite the time off, there was little rust in his game. He shot 77% and scored 4.6 gross points per round on his way to a 14.0 KPM and 2-1 record.

The one loss could be a sign of the tide turning, a shift in the balance of power. He teamed with JV, who together won both tournaments in 2018, to battle Galz and Dibble in Game 13.

The championship duo looked like the glory days through two rounds when they posted a 6-0 lead. But Galz and Dibble roared back with a 21-0 run to win the game, including a four-bagger (12-point round) by Dibble against Barker.

It was Barker’s first taste of Dibble’s greatness. He’ll adjust like he always does, but he now knows what the rest of the league knows – taming Kimmy Gibbler will be a tall task.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This week’s Game of the Night featured Erik and JV vs. Dibble and Coach Mike in Game 1. Erik had the unenviable task of a head-to-head with Dibble, but he neutralized him through the first four and a half rounds by matching his gross points (15-15) allowing JV to outwork Coach Mike during this stretch (17-7) and give their squad a 14-4 advantage.

But in the bottom of the fifth Dibble shook loose. He dropped cornholes on his first three tosses to take a commanding 9-2 lead with one bag remaining. Erik’s final toss was a well-executed blocker to the upper-middle of the board in an attempt to limit the damage and prevent a four-bag round. The strategy worked when Dibble’s final toss couldn’t bull it’s way through Erik’s blocker. There would be no 12-point round this time, but the damage was done – the 10-3 round closed Dibble and Coach’s deficit to 14-11.

In the top of the seventh round, JV swished a cornhole on his way to a 5-2 advantage over Coach Mike, giving his team a 17-12 lead. But in the bottom of the seventh, the bad man was back again. Dibble went balls deep in the hole, recording another 10-point round (his second during a three round stretch). Erik managed two bags on the board or else it would’ve been game time. Nonetheless, Dibble’s 10-2 seventh round placed his team on the brink of victory, leading 20-17.

In the eighth, JV closed the gap to 20-19 and Erik came up big in the clutch to draw even with Dibble in the bottom half of the round.

JV needed to close the game in the top of the ninth because Dibble was scorching the hole at the other end. After four bags JV held a 3-1 advantage over Coach Mike, which would’ve been good for 21-20 win. But Coach Mike had one final bag to toss. He fired the back-handed taint tickler, carrying it deep up the board. The bag landed on one of JV’s prior bags and ricocheted to the ground. Luckily for Coach, the force of his toss pushed JV’s bag off the board, making JV’s advantage 2-1 and saving the game for Coach and Dibble (it was now tied at 20).

JV shook his head in disgust and the cocky Coach boasted, “Can you see me coming JV?!?!”

JV fired back without missing a beat, “See you coming? I’ve been sticking it in your ass every round!”

The outburst was part frustration he couldn’t close the game and likely partially because he sensed Dibble was about to hand him a loss.

Erik had other plans in mind. His first toss found the bottom of the hole, placing immense pressure on Dibble. First toss for Dibble missed the board, then Erik responded with another bag on the board followed by another Dibble miss.

Erik held a 4-0 lead after two tosses and continued to apply pressure when his third bag found the middle of the board. Erik now clung to a 5-0 lead after perfectly executing a blocker with his third toss.

Dibble needed two cornholes in his final two tosses to keep the game alive. He delivered a fastball, trying to ram his way through Erik’s blocker and into the hole. But he had too much heat on the toss and it skipped off and over the board.

The game was over, and Erik was flawless in his navigation of the ninth round against a scary opponent. Once he hit the first cornhole, he played defense and made life hard for Dibble to execute.

Sensational play from Erik helped his team win, 21-20, and his poise was critical to surviving two 10-point rounds from Dibble.

Game 1 was a hell of a start to a great night.

NEWS AND NOTES

• It’s a travesty we’re this far into the recap and haven’t mentioned Galz in detail. Truth is, he was on pace to have an all-time night. Through his first three games he was 3-0, with an untouchable 19.6 KPM! Yes, you read that right…19.6 KPM! During that stretch:
  • He averaged 6.2 gross points per round
  • He scored 28 cornholes in just 19 rounds (said another way, 28 cornholes in 76 tosses – good for one every 2.5 throws)
  • He scored 61 out of 76 total tosses, which is good for 80% accuracy

It was a tough pace to sustain, and he eventually dipped a bit as the night continued. But he still finished with a 14.3 KPM, 68% accuracy, 4.6 gross points per round, 0.93 cornholes per round, and a 6-3 record. He also posted one 12-point round and two 10-point rounds.

• Paul continues to be the most improved player in the league this year. He registered a 10.7 KPM this week, making his KPM for the season 10.3 (good for seventh in the Power Rankings). Paul also scored an incredible 10-point round, draining two bags on his final toss of the round, on his way to a 3-3 record. However, he was victim of Dibble’s first career footsnag and cried about it for 10 minutes because “I’m drinking a 7% beer!” After immense peer pressure, and harassment from JV, Paul followed the rules and chugged his 7% beer.

  

• Erik was steady throughout the night with an 8.2 KPM and 55% shooting. He won his first match of the night, then lost five in a row to finish 1-5. Every week he proves to be accurate and reliable (shooting 56% for the season compared to 43% in 2018), but he’s victim to some tough match-ups, and lack of cornholes.