CLAWSON, MICHIGAN – League expansion is always welcomed, and every player in the league has the green light to invite friends. The league commissioner trusts the judgment of the other players to evaluate if someone will be compatible with the rest of the league, and add to the quality of it both on and off the court.

While the league commissioner has that trust, JV very clearly does not.

JV and KP arrived early this week intending to assist Coach Mike with set-up and get a jump start on beverage consumption. Coach began discussing the friend he invited to join during week 5.

Coach: “His name is Scott Dibble. You can just call him Dibble.”

KP: “The more the merrier! I assume he’s going to fit in with the rest of the guys?”

Coach: “He’ll fit in. He likes to party and loves cornhole. He’s really good. He’s probably better than Galz, and will be near the top of the league. He could probably play with the guys on ESPN if he practiced as often as they do.”

Those words carry hefty amounts of weight. As Coach walked into the garage JV and KP reacted to the hype.

KP: “Better than Galz, huh? Best in the league? Could play with the guys on ESPN? This should be fun.”

JV: “Fuck this Kimmy Gibbler guy. I can’t wait to kick his ass tonight.”

Just like that, JV’s fire was stoked and KP’s excitement to score-keep was at an all-time high.

FULLER HOUSE?

Moments later an unassuming guy walks up the driveway in camouflage shorts and glasses. THIS is Kimmy Gibbler…errr, Scott Dibble? THIS is the guy who is going to dominate the league?

JV glanced at KP, ready to whip his dick-copter out and go Bob Saget on the new guy’s ass.

So naturally in Game 1 of the night, JV finagled his way into going head-to-head with Dibble. JV wanted a piece of him so badly that he agreed to partner with his arch nemesis, Paul, to take on Dibble and Coach Mike.

Dibble was granted first throw honors, and he promptly sank a cornhole. JV launched his first bag and missed the board. Oh shit!

Dibble’s second toss landed perfectly in the middle of the board and slid beautifully into the hole. JV then missed the board with his second toss. OH SHIT!

Was Dibble really going to post a 12-point round with the first four bags of his LEG career? If so, how do we ban this dickhead from the league?

Thankfully Dibble’s third toss missed the board, causing JV and KP’s blood pressure to fall a few notches. He still punched JV in the mouth in round one, winning 7-1 thanks to two consecutive cornholes.

Like true champions often do, JV responded in round two. He sunk two cornholes and bested Dibble, 7-4. In rounds two through six JV outscored Dibble 27-17 and was the primary factor in his team’s 20-14 advantage.

In the top of the seventh round JV and Paul held a 20-14 lead and JV had honors to throw first.

JV Toss #1 – cornhole!

Dibble Toss #1 – cornhole!

JV Toss #2 – cornhole!!

Dibble Toss #2 – on the board

JV Toss #3 – missed the board

Dibble Toss #3 – missed the board

Dibble may be every bit as good as Coach Mike hyped him to be, but lesson #1 in this league is DO NOT fail to capitalize on one of the few opportunities JV gives you to beat him. JV had a 6-4 advantage and missed his third toss – Dibble needed to pounce on him, especially being down 20-14 in the match. The errant third toss by Dibble showed some weakness.

JV Toss #4 – on the board

Dibble Toss #4 – he needed a cornhole to tie the round (7-7) and extend the match, but JV’s bag was the perfect blocker to defend against a cornhole. Dibble loaded up, delivered his final bag firmly toward the hole, but missed. His bag came to rest in the upper right portion of the board, and he had lost the round (7-5) and the match (21-14).

JV looked over at KP with a fist pump, and KP smiled, both inside and out. Welcome to the league, Dibble.

In fact, Dibble is damn good – at least on this night. His overall record was middle of the road at just 8-6, including a combined 3-4 against JV and Galz (1-2 against JV, 2-2 against Galz). The rest of his numbers were elite:

• 14.6 KPM on 65% shooting, averaging 4.7 gross points per round and a ridiculous 1.02 cornholes every four tosses
• He had two 12-point rounds and two 10-point rounds
• In the fourth round of Game 11 Dibble flashed his excellence. Two of his first three bags came to rest near the hole, while the third bag missed the board. His final toss carried all the way to the hole, clipping the other two bags and dragging them through the hole. A 9-point shot! It’s not the Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week because it was early in the match, extending a 3-2 lead to 9-2…but, it was against JV.
• Dibble outscored every opponent head-to-head except Paul, who actually dominated Dibble in their only match-up (more on Paul later):
  • Won head-to-head with Marco – 140 – 135
  • Won head-to-head with JV – 70 – 66
  • Won head-to-head with Galz – 42 – 29
  • Won head-to-head with Adam H. – 108 – 61
  • Won head-to-head with Jack – 36 – 28
  • Lost head-to-head with Paul – 23 – 41

The neighborhood just got tougher – but any Dibble dominance won’t come easy.

GAME OF THE NIGHT

This might be the hardest decision of the night. Not only because we played 23 games in week 5 (special shout-out to the commissioner and best scorekeeper in the world, KP, for score keeping two games at once), but because 10 of those 23 games were decided by 5 points or less.

Many of those 10 games decided by 5 points or less are contenders for Game of the Night, but the ultimate winner was the thriller in Game 16 featuring Dibble and Marco vs. Paul and Adam H. On paper, this looks like a complete mismatch, and that’s no disrespect to Paul or Adam H. Dibble and Marco are powerful players who can generate explosive rounds at any moment, whereas Paul and Adam H. are good, steady players.

Well, paper played itself out in real life through the first four and a half rounds with Marco and Dibble racing out to a 13-6 lead with Marco putting the team on his shoulders and dominating Adam H. during that span (25-15).

But in the bottom of the fifth, Paul drained a cornhole and added three more bags on the board en route to a 6-3 advantage over Dibble, giving his squad the juice it needed.

Adam H. closed it to 13-10 in the sixth with a modest 3-2 advantage over Marco, and Paul continued the surge with a 3-0 drubbing in the bottom of the sixth to tie it at 13 apiece.

In the seventh, Marco overpowered Adam H. to reclaim the lead at 16-13, and it looked to be the type of knockout blow you’d expect from Marco and Dibble – one that most assume Paul and Adam H. couldn’t handle.

But assuming makes an ass out of “u” and “me.” Paul was on fire and rolled Dibble, 8-4, in the bottom of the seventh, giving his team a 17-16 lead. Adam H. chipped in with another point, making it 18-16 in the top of the eighth round.

Going into the bottom of the eighth, Paul had dominated Dibble, 31-18 throughout the game. He and Adam H. were on the verge of potentially the biggest upset of the 2019 regular season, but Paul needed to deliver one more time in the clutch.

Unfortunately for Paul, he landed all four tosses on the board but couldn’t register any cornholes. His four gross points were still better than Dibble’s three, boosting his team’s lead to 19-16. But, the bags were turned back over to Adam H. who faced a dangerously explosive Marco.

Marco sank two cornholes in his first three tosses (the other toss missed the board) and Adam H. managed only two bags on the board while missing his other two. Marco held a 6-2 advantage with one bag to go, needing only one bag on the board to give his team a 21-19 win. He loaded and fired, but he had too much heat on the toss as it hit the board and slid long and off.

Adam H. and Paul exhaled, but still had to dig themselves out of a 20-19 hole. In the bottom of the ninth round Paul drained a cornhole and tossed three perfectly placed blockers on the board for 6 gross points. Meanwhile, through three tosses Dibble had two on the board and missed another bag. He was down to his final throw staring at a 6-2 deficit and needing a cornhole or else the game was over. Sound familiar – needing cornhole on a final throw to extend the match or it’s game-set-match? Indeed, Dibble faced the same situation in Game 1 against JV.

Once again, Dibble delivered the same result. He launched his final toss, going for an airmail to avoid Paul’s three blockers, and missed the board. Paul and Adam H. did the unthinkable! They pulled the 21-20 stunner over Dibble and Marco!

Paul was incredible, outscoring Dibble, 40-23, and averaged 4.4 gross points per round thanks to nine total cornholes (in just nine rounds). Adam H. played well, but couldn’t keep pace with Marco’s cornhole rate (Marco held a 7-1 cornhole advantage on Adam), losing that head-to-head match, 40-25.

ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID, NEVER A BRIDE

Runners-up for Game of the Night were Games 8 and 10, which we’ve briefly recapped.

Game 8

Match-up: JV and Dibble vs. Galz and Jack

Recap: JV and Dibble jumped out to a quick 12-0 lead in the first round thanks to Dibble routing Jack, 9-0. But Galz and Jack went on a 16-1 run over three rounds to take a 16-13 lead, highlighted by Galz sinking seven cornholes and outscoring JV 8-7, 10-6, and 7-1 during that run.

They pushed their lead to 19-15 before Dibble and JV came roaring back with their own 6-0 run to close and win the game 21-19. The game was tied at 19 and Dibble clinched the win with a 4-1 advantage over Jack.

Highlights: Galz won the head-to-head with JV, 38-33, while Dibble outpaced Jack, 36-28. Both Galz and Dibble knocked in nine cornholes apiece during the nine round game.

Game 10

Match-up: JV and Galz vs. Paul and Marco

Recap: You thought JV and Dibble’s 12-0 start through round one was impressive in Game 8? Well, JV and Galz held a 17-0 lead after two rounds against Paul and Marco. The dynamic duo combined for nine cornholes in two rounds (that’s 9 of 16 tosses going for cornholes), with JV besting Paul 8-2 and 6-4, while Galz crushed Marco 7-5 and 9-2.

Paul and Marco could’ve thrown in the towel, but they chipped away at the deficit, crawling out of the hole with an 18-3 run behind the cold spell from Galz that allowed Marco to outscore him 21-10 during the run. On the other end, Paul got the best of JV, 23-19, closing the margin to 20-18.

With the game on the line, the bags were in the hands of enemies in a tense head-to-head match. Could Paul drive a stake in JV’s heart yet again? No this time – JV was accurate with all four bags on the board, while Paul landed only two on the board. That 4-2 advantage was enough for JV and Galz to recover from almost blowing a 17-0 save.

Highlights: JV topped Paul head-to-head, 37-31, and Marco edged Galz, 28-26. Interestingly, Galz only scored 26 gross points despite registering the most cornholes of any player (seven). Excluding his seven cornholes, Galz was a horrific 5/17 on his remaining throws, which was a big factor in the Paul-Marco comeback.

MUSHROOM STAMP MOMENT

THIRTEEN 10-point rounds and two 12-point rounds were posted this week, so deciding on the MSM was extremely difficult. However, this week’s award goes to Coach Mike for completely turning Game 6 around. He and Marco were down 15-8 to Galz and Dibble when Coach dropped a 10-point round (10-4 scoring) on Galz in round five, igniting his team to 10 net points in the fifth round to claim an 18-15 lead. They held on for a 21-20 comeback victory and it was all initiated by Coach’s 10-point stamp on Galz’s forehead.

BUN RUNS!

Adam H. was welcomed to LEG the hard way – by getting bun run twice this week! JV was the dealer on both occasions:

• Partnered with Marco in Game 7 to shutout Adam and Mike T. in just two and a half rounds! JV and Marco drained six combined cornholes in just 20 tosses and Marco scored a 10-0 TKO on Mike T. It was an impressive 21-0 victory, and JV was so excited he joined in the bun run action.
• Partnered with Dibble in Game 13 to shutout Adam and Marco, this time in three rounds! JV and Dibble swished 11 combined conrholes in 24 tosses, capped by Dibble’s 12-point round to win the game.

NEWS AND NOTES

• Marco pushed Dibble for top KPM of the night, coming in at 14.5 (Dibble was 14.6) thanks to 73% shooting, a ridiculous 0.89 cornholes per round and 4.7 gross points per round. His record was a modest 6-6, but he was excellent all night including three 10-point rounds – one of which negated the impact of a Dibble 12-point round.
• Galz was hot and cold, but was hot more often than not. He posted a 13.4 KPM thanks to 0.88 cornholes per round, 63% shooting and 4.3 gross points per round. Galz recorded the most 10-point rounds of any player this week (four). He also sneaked out a 7-4 record when almost all the other guys hovered around .500 for the night.
• JV was hellbent on teaching Dibble the ABCs of LEG, and he did just that. JV finished with a 13.2 KPM, which was lower than Dibble’s because of too much whiskey and Squirt throughout the night. But his 68% shooting, 0.78 cornholes per round and

  

  4.3 gross points per round were all elite measures and he also saved seven games out of seven tries. His record was incredible given the competition (10-3) and he added a footsnag for good measure.

• Paul crossed the 10.0 KPM line for the first time in his LEG career! He strolled into the clubhouse at 11.3 KPM for the night. Paul’s accuracy has been very good all season (tonight 59%), but he typically struggles to make cornholes at a high clip. This week he scored them at 0.65 per round, and that was the difference with elevating his KPM.
• Coach Mike earned the MSM and a 9.1 KPM. He shot 48% and knocked in 0.53 cornholes per round, leading to 3.0 gross points per round. Coach continues to build confidence each week, resembling the ice cold killer from 2016 and 2017.
• Mike T. may have found his game. The rookie posted a career-best 8.7 KPM, which doesn’t jump off the stats page when comparing to the heavyweights above. What you need to understand is Mike is a multi-time dart league champion – that means he has talent and championship pedigree that will eventually translate to cornhole, and he finally figured out his stroke midway through the night. Early on his KPM sunk to the 5 – 6 range, but he turned it on in the second half of the night and drove his KPM to 8.7. He made more cornholes than usual (0.53 per round) and his accuracy was much improved (44%). The tide turned for Mike in Game 17 when he outscored Coach, 36-32 and dropped seven cornholes. Keep an eye on Mike for the rest of the season – he’s rounding into form at the right time.
• Jack was 2-3 overall and was reasonably accurate (44%), but he couldn’t score any cornholes (only 0.33 per round) on a night when every other player was hitting for three. His KPM suffered because of it (7.2), but he had some impressive moments throughout the night, including outscoring Dibble, 28-27, over eight rounds after losing the first round, 9-0, in Game 8.
• Adam H. played well in his debut, logging an 8.7 KPM on 54% shooting. He couldn’t hit cornholes with the pace the others did (only 0.38 per round), but played well most of the night despite finishing with a 2-9 record. The highlight of his night was in Game 14 when he was toe to toe with JV and held his own, losing only 46-42 and weathering the storm of 14 cornholes from JV (Adam had nine cornholes of his own).