BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Last week in the Singles Tournament Preview I predicted JV to survive a deep pool of talent and win the Singles Tournament. But, what’s the difference between a prediction and an assumption?
A prediction is often based on data or evidence, such as historical trends or behavior. An assumption is made when there is no data (or less data) to rely on. So, it makes sense that Dictionary.com lists “guess” as a related word for “assumption.”
When revisiting the Singles Tournament Preview, “prediction” was an inappropriate description to use – JV winning the Singles Tournament was an assumption because there was absolutely no data to suggest this was a reasonable position to take.
And you know the old saying about when one “assumes” – it makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”
Indeed, JV strolled up Bushie’s driveway with an all-white top, all white belt, and all white shorts body looking like milk (shout out to Ludacris). He looked fatigued, like semen swimming upstream for hours without any progress.
It wasn’t a good sign of things to come, and right away I knew my assumption was in BIG trouble.
ALL CHALK
Though there are heavyweights at the top of the LEG food chain, I thought this tournament had the ingredients to create the perfect parity pie. You like that alliteration?
The Winners’ Bracket included 11 games before the “survivor” of the Winners’ Bracket had to play any match against someone from the Losers’ Bracket.
I expected a bit of chaos in the Winners’ Bracket, instead we saw almost all chalk – of those 11 games, only three upsets occurred.
- #9 Coach Mike knocked off #8 Paul in the opening round, which wasn’t surprising because both are very good players. The surprising part was the score: 21-3
- #5 Justin routed #4 JV in the second round (21-14), and it wasn’t even as close as the final score indicated. Justin dominated him early before JV made a late run to give the appearance that it was respectable
- #7 Tony pulled the biggest stunner when he ripped through #2 Barker in the second round, 21-7. This is the biggest stunner based on seed disparity, but nobody should be surprised Tony came out swinging after his disappointing 2018 Singles Tournament
Besides the three games above, the rest of the Winners’ Bracket was chalk, creating an ultra-competitive Losers’ Bracket.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
Justin and Coach Mike will look back on this tournament and think about how things could have been more glorious if a break or two fell their way.
Coach Mike looked sexy in his wife beater throwing that back-handed taint tickler. He routed Paul in a first round upset, 21-3, earning a big match with his friend and #1 seed, Dibble. Coach had several opportunities to take a commanding lead on Dibble, but failed to take advantage of several Dibble misses. Coach Mike lost the match, 21-9, but was hanging around for a while and could have been on the verge of closing out the match if he had played his normal game. Maybe he was nervous or intimidated by Dibble, but that is a match that got away from him.
Coach rallied after his loss to Dibble, beating Bushie and JV convincingly, 21-10 and 21-9, respectively. But then Tony stepped
on Coach’s throat and ripped his heart out. Tony was excellent in handing Coach a bun run, beating him 21-0. This was Coach’s third bun run in four weeks, which is not a good trend.
Moments later, Coach was eliminated by Barker, losing 21-8. He finished with a respectable 3-3 tournament record and had nice wins over Paul, Bushie and JV. Sure, he was embarrassed by Tony, but things could have been completely different if not for a few missed opportunities in the Dibble match. Imagine Coach Mike pulling that upset and sitting atop the Winners’ Bracket. Like I said, it could have been glorious.
Justin, on the other hand, avoided KP’s upset prediction in the #5 vs. #12 first round match, then knocked off #4 seed JV as mentioned above to advance and play #1 Dibble. This game was huge, and an opportunity to make a statement, similar to Coach Mike. Just like Coach Mike, Justin couldn’t answer Dibble’s misses and it cost him with a 21-5 loss.
Life didn’t get any easier for Justin in the Losers’ Bracket, immediately playing Scott. This game was a championship bout, both players unwilling to give an inch. I watched the entire match and just when one player hit a huge shot and seemed to break away, the other guy answered. Scott found a way to win, 21-18, and Justin was devastated. In two straight matches, he felt like opportunities slipped away.
Justin was now in a win or go home situation and he caught fire – he beat, and eliminated, Paul 21-2, then mauled Barker 21-10 to send him packing as well. Suddenly, Justin found his groove and was throwing beautifully. He had an audience in the backyard for his match with Tony, which was for a Final Four berth. Unfortunately, Justin cooled off and Tony’s redemption tour continued with a 21-7 win over Justin.
Justin finished the tournament 4-3 and on the doorstep of the Final Four. An excellent showing for him, which also included the Best Dressed Award! Still, he felt his exit was a bit premature and it’s hard to argue with him.
THE DISAPPOINTMENTS
Listen, it’s inevitable in every tournament that a few players/teams will lose three straight and make an early exit. Unfortunately there is no way to avoid this scenario, and anyone who goes 0-3 definitely falls into the “disappointments” category.
This year Mike and Steve were the biggest losers. Both players have shown flashes of competitiveness throughout this season, to the point that I predicted – yes, predicted based on historical trends from Mike the last few weeks – that he would pull off the #12 vs. #5 upset in the first round against Justin. Unfortunately for me (and for Mike), he’s a slow starter and Justin handled his business with a convincing 21-8 win.
Mike suffered a 21-8 loss to Scott in the Losers’ Bracket before he finally played his best cornhole of the day in an elimination match against Paul. Both players were fighting for their tournament lives, which produced a great match in the Double Losers’ Bracket. Paul prevailed in a thriller, 21-18, and Mike was eliminated early.
Steve’s failure to launch resulted in early losses to Scott (21-6) and JV (21-3), putting his back against the wall in an elimination match against Bushie. He led almost the entire match, including leading in the late stages, 20-16. But Bushie closed with a 5-0 run to win 21-20 and send Steve home.
Once eliminated, Steve launched just fine and found himself on Mars for much of the day. The party ratcheted up after losing to Bushie, adding an injection of fun to the day.
Paul had been playing well this season, including bringing a 10.0 season KPM into this tournament. However, he lost two straight matches to open the tournament (21-3 to Coach Mike and 21-10 to Barker) and was quickly facing elimination. To Paul’s credit, he kept his hopes alive with two straight wins – the first of which was against Mike (discussed earlier) and then he donkey punched JV in an elimination match, 21-1. The rivalry between those two is real, and it was appropriate they had to fight to stay in the tournament. Paul crushed him to advance and face Justin. Sadly for Paul, Justin had too much fire power and Paul was still focused on celebrating his domination of JV. Justin easily beat Paul, 21-2, sending him home from the tournament. Paul rallied to make a respectable appearance, but his 2-3 record is still disappointing, especially considering how well he had bad playing.
Bushie also lost his first two matches (21-2 in the first round to #7 Tony and 21-10 to Coach Mike) before rebounding with the 21-20 comeback victory over Steve. He appeared to be on the verge of finding his game in another elimination game against Barker, hanging tough with him through most of the match. But Barker pulled away and eliminated Bushie, 21-15.
Speaking of Barker, he makes the disappointment list. This is so surprising it’s actually difficult to write. He earned the #2 seed and a bye, but then had the displeasure of a match with #7 Tony in the second round. Tony was red hot after a 21-2 first round beat down of Bushie, and eager to avenge his poor performance in last year’s Singles Tournament as the #1 seed. He rolled Barker, 21-7, sending one of the top dogs to the Losers’ Bracket.
Barker’s win over Paul didn’t feel as good as it should have because he was fighting an uncomfortable throw the entire match. Barker knew he couldn’t make a deep run with the current condition of his game, and he was right. Scott pushed Barker to the Double Losers’ Bracket and edge of elimination with a 21-16 win. Barker kept fighting, searching for a rhythm, but couldn’t find it despite two straight wins in elimination games (21-15 over Bushie and 21-8 over Coach Mike). He was finally put out of his misery when Justin beat him 21-10 – it was Barker’s worst tournament finish of his career, sixth place. Barker had never finished worse than third (singles or partners) prior to this. Therefore, this has to be considered a disappointment, even for him. He’ll be back, you can count on that.
Finally, there’s the milk man – JV. A fierce competitor, always on the verge of letting the lion out of the cage, we’ve come to expect great things from him on a weekly basis and in tournaments. In the Singles Tournament, he couldn’t have been further from greatness.
After earning a first round bye with the #4 seed, he squared off against #5 Justin and was upset, 21-14. As mentioned earlier, this game was not as close as the final score indicated. He looked ready to redeem himself and make a run after crushing Steve, 21-3. But then Coach Mike beat him handily (21-9) and his nemesis Paul damn near handed him a bun run, beating him 21-1 and sent him home in embarrassing fashion.
JV didn’t have it on this day. Not even close. It will be interesting to see how he rebounds the rest of the season as we approach the Postseason Tournament. Will he fix the flaws in his game and gear up for a promising finish?
CONTROL AND DOMINANCE
Dibble hasn’t been around LEG long, but he’s dominated from the moment he stepped foot in the league. He was deserving of the #1 seed he earned, but many (myself included) were very interested to see how he handled the stress of his first tournament.
Well, turns out he did just fine. He didn’t have his A-game early in the tournament, but did enough to survive matches with Coach Mike (21-9) and Justin (21-5) before lighting the fire against Galz in a major Winners’ Bracket showdown. Dibble left no doubt, thoroughly handing Galz his ass in a 21-3 victory to stay in the Winners’ Bracket.
That win was enormous for Dibble, not only for confidence but also because he stayed out of the Losers’ Bracket fray, where there was much more stress in every match.
After his statement victory over Galz, he sat back, ate chicken wings and drank PBR with a smile on his face, while his opponents duked it out to earn an opportunity to knock him from his ivory tower.
That smile quickly turned upside down, though. Not because of any cornhole dramatics, but because the wings, beer and lingering nerves came home to roost – Dibble penguin walked to the bathroom and disappeared for at least 45 minutes to spray piss out his b-hole. Dibble was like Harry Dunne in “Dumb and Dumber,” blowing up the toilet and scrambling to cover it up.
After cleaning himself off and failing to clean the toilet, Dibble settled his stomach and prepared for another battle with Galz, this time with a trip to the championship on the line. As many would expect, Galz was much more prepared for this battle, taking Dibble down to the wire. Galz had his chances, but couldn’t capitalize during key moments when Dibble missed a few throws. Dibble eked out a 21-18 win and penciled his name into the championship match. Galz stumbled to the Double Losers’ Bracket and attempted to avoid elimination.
FINAL FOUR
With Dibble looking down from his Winners’ Bracket perch, Galz, Scott and Tony rounded out the Final Four, entrenched in elimination match wars. In the first semifinal, Scott halted Tony’s fantastic run with a 21-11 victory, advancing to play Galz in another semifinal and the right to play for a title.
Tony’s fourth place finish was a strong representation, and outperformed his #7 seed. His tournament highlights included:
- pounding #2 seed Barker, 21-7, in the second round
- outlasting Justin, 21-7, to punch a ticket to the Final Four
- dealing Coach Mike a bun run
Unfortunately, Tony couldn’t get over the hump against Galz or Scott. All three of his losses came to those two players, once to Galz (21-7 in the Winners’ Bracket) and twice to Scott (21-12 and 21-11).
Advancing to the semifinals as the #6 seed was impressive, yet not surprising for Scott. He’s an exceptional player, a former champion and a former runner-up. In the semifinals, Galz started draining cornholes at a high rate and there was nothing Scott could do about it. Scott played well, but Galz bullied his way to cornholes whenever he wanted, and pulled out the victory, 21-11.
Scott was eliminated one step short of the championship match, but he had a lot to be proud of. After beating Steve in the first round, 21-6, he took Galz down to the wire in the second round match. Scott felt like he squandered some opportunities in the match, costing him victory. Galz won a thrilling 21-18 match.
Scott then ripped off four straight victories in the gauntlet that was the Losers’ Bracket, beating Mike (21-8), Barker (21-16), Justin (21-18), and Tony (21-12). That four game run allowed him a rematch with Galz, which he eagerly awaited. However, he might have been a bit low on fuel because Galz won rather easily, 21-11. That loss was followed by his victory over Tony (for the second time) and his third shot at Galz, which also came up empty.
Scott played nine matches, which was two more than any other player. He was constantly in dog fights in the Losers’ Bracket and took the longest possible path to a title. His 6-3 record is very impressive, but that many matches definitely took a toll on him. All three of his losses came to Galz. He played Galz tough the first time, losing 21-18 when he was “fresh.” But the last two matches were not close. Overall, Scott was fantastic and it would have been intriguing to see him play Dibble in a Losers’ Bracket scenario, but that never played out.
THE CHAMPIONSHIP
Galz earned a trip to the title with his impressive victory over Scott, and he was feeling confident after recording three wins over Scott and one over Tony. The problem for Galz was his prior two losses to Dibble and no room for error. He had to beat Dibble three straight times to earn The Belt.
In Game 1 of the Championship, Dibble raced out to a 10-4 advantage and looked like he was going to waltz to a title. But Galz showed the heart of a champion, battling back and throttling Dibble with a 17-4 run to win Game 1, 21-14.
All the sudden, things were interesting. Galz had reversed his fortunes, Dibble finally tasted defeat in the tournament and looked rattled, and the crowd was heavily in favor of Galz, led by KP taunting Dibble and openly rooting for Galz to pull the stunner. “You can’t win three games without winning one!” KP shouted in support of Galz.
After the first win, Galz took a hit of warm Budweiser from his beer bong helmet and winked at KP. The other 10 eliminated players scooted to the edge of their seat and grabbed their popcorn in anticipation of Game 2. In this case, “popcorn” is code for weed, which was about the only thing any of the participants had in their hands by this point in the day.
In Game 2, Galz’s wave of momentum continued. He didn’t possess a large lead, but he stood toe to toe and exchanged hay-makers with Dibble. Late in the match Dibble took control, up 20-16. Cue the Galz dramatics – he plugged the hole with his first two tosses and we’re all still trying to figure out how neither bag dropped to the bottom of the hole. He used his third bag as a wrecking ball, attempting to jar the blocked hole loose and knock his bags through. It didn’t work, though his third bag did come to rest on the board.
Meanwhile, Dibble had scored a cornhole and another bag on the board after three bags. Each player had one bag remaining and the score was 21-16 thanks to Dibble holding a 4-3 advantage in this round. However, Galz still had bags clinging to the hole and he was determined to force them through for three points with his final bag. He needed this to survive, especially considering Dibble had one bag remaining. He delivered a perfect fastball at the center of the board, and it rammed into the two bags stuffing the hole. Somehow, they didn’t fall and he now had a three-bag pile up literally on top of the hole.
Galz’s head sank, he had tied the round 4-4, but left three cornholes off the board and Dibble had one final bag that could make it 5-4 for the round, and 21-16 for the game. Galz could feel it was over and tried not to watch as Dibble delivered his final bag.
Dibble focused, delivered and SHORT! IT WAS SHORT! He had one bag to win the title and he left it completely short of the board!!!! HE CHOKED! Galz escaped with a 4-4 tie and the game remained 20-16. But Dibble escaped because if those piled bags fall it’s game over and we’re on to Game 3 for all the marbles.
In the next round Galz earned one more point to draw closer at 20-17. But Dibble closed it out one round later, winning Game 2 21-17 and now owns the crown of 2019 Singles Champion!
Dibble finished 5-1 for the tournament and was largely untested until sweating through two championship matches. Credit to him, he navigated the Winners’ Bracket perfectly as the #1 seed, avoiding the tension and stress that awaited him in the Losers’ Bracket.
Of his six games, four were against Galz and he finished 3-1 against him. So, he earned the championship by having to play the next best player four times. However, some question the legitimacy of his title because he broke costume (nobody else, including Galz, did that), he stopped drinking, and he painted the toilet brown.
Galz’s runner-up hurts, but he really was outstanding with a win over Dibble, three over Scott and one over Tony. All three of his losses were to Dibble.
Dibble proudly and deservedly rocked the belt. He’s a worthy champion and now has a bigger target on his back. Congratulations to your 2019 Singles Champion, Scott Dibble!