BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Week 4 marked the return of Humberto Klein (we call him Bert), which was the first time we’ve seen him since he partnered with JG on “Joe Mixon’s Domestic Abuse Hotline” to win the 2017 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament.

Bert has had great intentions to join the 2018 season earlier in the year, but he finally returned from a 3 week vacation in Southeast Asia. Bert couldn’t have timed his return any better, with Father’s Day only a few days away, considering he fathered a handful of kids during his vacation.

After having 14 months away from the game, Bert showed no signs of rust. In his first game he dropped more hammers than he did on Southeast Asian women, knocking in 9 cornholes while carrying Justin to a 21-11 win over KP and Paul.

Bert was on fire early, winning his first three games of the night 21-11 (summarized above), 21-5, and 21-7.

His fourth game was the Game of the Night where he partnered with Justin in a showdown against Hugh and KP.  Bert immediately punched Hugh in the mouth, jumping on him 5-0 in the first round, and Justin landed another body blow to KP in the bottom half of the round with a 6-3 advantage, pushing the lead to 8-0.

Hugh and KP weathered the flurry of cornholes and promptly rattled off their own 16-1 run over the next five rounds, led by KP scoring 12 of the points (outscored Justin 25-13) and Hugh gaining a 4 point advantage over Bert (outscored him 16-13).

In the top of the seventh round, facing a 16-9 deficit, Bert scored 3 points to close the gap to 16-12 only to have KP up the lead to 17-12 in the bottom half of the round.

Bert tested Hugh’s chin again in the eighth, dealing a devastating blow by draining two cornholes and another bag on the board to post a 5 point round (7-2 gross point advantage) and tie the game at 17.

The game was back and forth with runs, and each team gained and lost momentum. Justin tried to ride Bert’s momentum in the bottom of the eighth by hitting a cornhole and two bags on the board for a 5 point round. But, KP stalled his opponents’ momentum with two cornholes and two more bags on the board to post an 8-5 advantage over Justin and give his team a 20-17 lead.

Bert earned 1 more point in the ninth to keep the game alive, and turned it over to Justin who tried to keep KP from closing out a 20-18 game. KP choked, putting only two of his four bags on the board, while Justin swished a cornhole and added another point on the board for a 4-2 advantage.

The game was tied, 20-20, with red-hot Bert having control to close the game and win his fourth straight match. However, Hugh was tired of being pushed around and came out throwing hay-makers of his own. He put the pressure on immediately by landing his first bag on the board, which was followed by Bert missing his second bag (he also missed his first toss). Hugh put his foot on Bert’s throat with a cornhole on the second toss to snatch a 4-0 advantage with only two throws remaining for each player. Bert, crumbling under the pressure like his Asian victims crumbled to his meat hammer, missed for a third straight throw, which clinched the game for Hugh and KP. Just for good measure, Hugh put his last two bags on the board to post 6 gross points and Bert found the board on his last throw to avoid a donut in the final round. It didn’t matter, Hugh’s 6-1 advantage earned the victory.

Despite six 10-point rounds recorded during week 4, Hugh’s clutch performance against Bert is this week’s Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week. Congratulations to Hugh for the MSM and for elevating his performance to slow down one of the hottest players this week.

Game of the Night was a tough decision because game 5 and game 17 were also intense thrillers. Game 5 featured Galz and Bushie versus KP and Hugh, and several huge moments. KP and Hugh jumped out to an 8-0 lead, only to have their opponents chip away and close the gap to 12-11. But Hugh and KP upped the lead to 19-11 in just one round when KP outscored Bushie 4-1, and Hugh dominated Galz 5-1. But Galz immediately regained focus and notched three cornholes on his way to a 9-0 round over Hugh, giving his team a 20-19 lead. In the bottom of the round KP rose to the occasion, landing three bags on the board and one cornhole while Bushie missed all four throws. KP closed the game, a 21-19 win, with a 6-0 final round.

Game 17 pitted Paul and Hugh against Joe and Adam. Paul and Hugh were heavy favorites considering they had played several games and Joe had just arrived from work, was cold and hadn’t yet locked in mentally. None of that mattered, as Joe and Adam held a 13-8 lead in a fairly close game through the first six rounds, thanks largely to Joe drawing even with Paul (each player scored 16 gross points through six rounds) and Adam got the best of Hugh, 22-17. In the seventh round Adam busted the game open, dropping a 10-point round on Hugh to take a 19-9 lead.

Sadly, the underdogs couldn’t close the game despite their 10-point lead late in the match. In the eighth round Paul and Hugh quickly closed the gap to 19-16 behind a 6-1 advantage for Paul over Joe, and a 3-1 advantage for Hugh over Adam.

In the ninth, when Adam needed to find his hot streak, he went cold. Paul had gained one point on Joe to make the score 19-17, and Adam could only get one bag on the board, losing to Hugh 5-1, which was good enough to give Hugh four gross points and his team a 21-19 come from behind victory.

Once again, Hugh was the closer and is even more proof that he deserves the MSM this week.

New and Notes:

• Adam was a monster this week, recording a 12.4 KPM (second-best of the night), going 6-4 with an amazing 0.88 cornholes per round and 54% accuracy. From the left side of the board he was bananas – 15.2 KPM (the biggest KPM we’ve ever seen), 1.09 cornholes per round, 66% accuracy and a 3-0 record. He posted THREE 10-point rounds on the night, two of which were from the left side of the board. Adam also added 3 foot snags to his season-leading total.
• KP posted the top KPM on the evening (13.1), 0.75 cornholes per round and 70% accuracy on his way to a 10-2 record. He also posted his first 10-point round of the season. His big week helped keep him at #2 in the cumulative Power Rankings, which was impressive given Adam and Galz had big weeks in their chase to climb the rankings.
• Galz continues his streak of having a KPM above 10 every week he plays. This week he landed at 10.8 while hitting 0.74 cornholes per round and 49% accuracy. His accuracy was a bit down compared to usual, but his overall game was still excellent and resulted in a 4-2 overall record. Galz also made some bombass ribs for the entire group.
• Bert was dropping meat hammers like he was still on vacation in Southeast Asia. After winning his first three matches, he finished the night overall at 4-4. However, he had the fourth best KPM (9.8), while 54% accurate and knocking in 0.54 cornholes per round. Not too bad after 14 months off. That’s why he’s a champion, folks.
• JV had a strong night, going 6-4 with a 9.8 KPM. He wasn’t as accurate as normal (49%), but had a respectable 0.61 cornholes per round and also posted two 10-point rounds on the night. He dropped from #4 to #6 in the Power Rankings thanks to Adam and Bert’s strong nights.
• Justin made his first regular season appearance and played much better than he did during the Preseason Kick-Off. He ended the night with a 9.2 KPM, 51% accuracy, 0.49 cornholes per round and 3 foot snags. Strangely, these solid numbers only produced a 4-8 record. Justin is a perfect example of where the individual stats that drive KPM are more valuable than analyzing one’s overall W/L record. Nice season debut, Justin.