BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Just when you think you know everything about Coach Mike, he surprises you again. Last year he demonstrated his versatility when he informed the group of Usher’s herpes. This week, we finally discovered what Coach hides in the YETI he’s drinking every time he arrives to cornhole. Most assumed it might be a Bud Light Lime roadie to get him mentally prepared for the night, or the remains of his morning coffee, providing that jolt of energy we all expect from him.

The truth? It’s Kool-Aid. That’s right, this grown ass man drinks Tropical Punch Kool-Aid…every…single…day.

In case there was ever any doubt, it’s settled now. Coach Mike is the man.

Week 3 was an interesting week, with five of the 11 games decided by by double-digits and no game was closer than 21-14. This week was also a continuation of the sensitive foot snag topic, which was ignited when Erik attempted to foot snag Bushie, his partner, in game 1. Bushie, still fuming from foot snag controversy in week 2, threatened to kick Erik’s ass if he ever tries to foot snag him again. What is it with Erik wanting to foot snag his partners? Also, if there is one person NOT to foot snag, it’s Bushie. The guy already drinks Coors Lights faster than any human can chug water, so there is no beer chugging incentive with snagging Bushie. Erik claims he’ll foot snag any player, partner or not, in order to pad his stats. He’s chasing the 2018 foot snag crown, and doesn’t care about pissing anyone off along the way. Atta boy, Erik.

In game 4, Erik was partners with Paul and once again showed no mercy when he foot snagged Paul. Bushie and Coach Mike looked on in disgust, while Paul bitched about having to chug the rest of his beer. “I’m drinking an Oberon!” he cried. Sorry Paul, rules are rules. Erik made Paul abide by the rules, having to finish the chug before the game continued. Funny, because one week earlier Erik didn’t follow league rules when he was bun run 21-0 by Coach Mike and Marco…

In game 5, we had partner-on-partner crime again when Paul and Adam paired up to face Bushie and Coach Mike. Bushie and Coach Mike cruised to a 21-10 victory, but in the third frame Paul foot snagged an errant toss from Adam. Frustrated by his partner foot snagging him and a 10-3 deficit, Adam foot snagged Paul in the bottom half of the third frame to get revenge, and Paul again cried because he had an Oberon in his hands. Two throws later, Paul missed the board long and Adam was there to clean up the mess with his foot. Adam was cold-blooded, snagging his partner twice in one round and Paul drank every last drop of Oberon to pay his debts.

Not surprising, in the fourth round Paul sent a bag toward the board and it came up three feet short. “That was TERRIBLE!” KP exclaimed, as he kept score. Adam must have felt guilty for contributing to his partner’s horrendous throw because he advised Paul to build his arm strength by having more jerk sessions instead of always having girls do it for him. Little does Adam know, Paul has no girls helping him.

The Game of the Night might not look impressive on the scoreboard, but the drama involved was incredible. Coach Mike and Adam knocked off Galz and Paul 21-12. However, Paul and Galz jumped on their opponent quickly, creating a 12-0 advantage after just three rounds. Paul dominated Adam during the early going, outscoring him 12-3 (gross points), chipping in 9 of his team’s 12 early points. Galz struggled, but still outscored Coach Mike 4-1 (gross points).

More than halfway to a bun run, Paul and Galz were feeling confident and began focusing on shutting out their opponent. But in the top of the fourth frame, Adam started ballin’. He outscored Paul 7-1 to shrink the deficit to 12-6 and eliminate any bun run possibility. Coach rode the back-handed taint tickler to a 4-0 advantage in the bottom of the fourth frame, and in the blink of an eye we had a 12-10 game.

In the fifth and sixth frames Adam bested Paul 10-3 and Coach topped Galz 7-0, including a 4-0 final round to clinch the game. To summarize, Paul and Galz raced to a 12-0 lead after the first three rounds, but Adam and Coach responded with a 21-0 run in the final three frames to win the game 21-12. Galz unexpectedly scored only four gross points in the game, and recorded donuts in the final four frames of the game.

Normally, the Mushroom Stamp Moment of the week is awarded to an individual player who has the greatest moment of dominance during the night. However, this week marks the first time in history the MSM goes to a team. But it couldn’t be more appropriate to award Adam and Coach the MSM for overcoming a 12-0 deficit with a 21-0 run.

Congratulations to Adam and Coach for the week 3 MSM.

News and Notes:

• This week was strange in many ways, as outlined above. But also interesting was the low accuracy rates. Only one player was greater than 50% accurate (KP), while all other players ranged from 35% – 49%. Bushie’s house usually yields higher accuracy, but tonight that was not the case.
• KP was the star of the night, going 5-0 and recording the highest KPM of the evening (12.6). He averaged 0.62 cornholes per round, 4.2 gross points per round and registered an impressive 74% accuracy for the night.
• Galz continued to play well, other than the stinker he had in the Game of the Night where he only had 4 gross points. Despite the one bad game, Galz still had a 10.5 KPM, averaged 3.4 gross points per round and knocked in 0.71 cornholes per round (best of the night) while hitting on 49% of his throws. Galz also continued his run of 10-point rounds, recording two more this week. His first 10-point round was in game 1, where he nailed cornholes on his first three throws and had an opportunity for a 12-point round. His final bag landed on the board and he settled for a 10-point round instead, and that also clinched the win for his team.
• Adam had the third highest KPM of the night at 8.7, driven mostly by his 0.57 cornholes per round. Adam was only 2-5 overall for the night, but played better than his record showed. He also recorded a 10-point round in game 2, a 21-14 loss. He also had 5 foot snags on the night, taking his season total to 10, which is good for the league lead (Erik is second with 9).
• Coach Mike got back on track after a few weeks hovering around .500. He went 5-2 and had a solid 8.5 KPM. Coach was reasonably accurate, making 47% of his throws, but his cornhole rate was down compared to normal (only 0.46 cornholes per round).