2018 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament Recap

BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – Great anticipation built as the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament approached, with a record number of players participating (19). The first May weekend brought us sunshine, warm temperatures, Cinco de Mayo and The Kentucky Derby…all the perfect ingredients for a drunken debacle.

The draft format was based on silent auction donations, which helped raise money toward Bushie’s food costs, and much needed equipment repairs (sorry for those who experienced blown-out bags). Thank you to everyone who donated, and thank you to JV for the draft idea. The combination of the draft format and talent pool from all the new guys resulted in the most competitive tournament field we’ve had yet…more on this momentarily.

ROUND ROBIN

JV earned the rights to the #1 overall draft pick based on highest donation, and he promptly selected three-time runner-up, Barker. Clearly JV read my Kick-Off preview prior to making his selection (for those who didn’t read, Barker was my pick to win the tournament). JV’s selection was a good one, but it pissed KP off and motivated him all day to prove he was worthy of the #1 pick.

As previously mentioned, the competition in this tournament was the deepest we’ve had and evidence of that was in round robin play when Podunk Hopscotch Mafia (partnership of Adam and Rob) mushroom stamped JV and his “savior,” 21-3. KP overheard this result and talked a lot of shit, reminding JV of the player he should have taken at #1.

Style Crew (partnership of Paul G. and Steve-O) had Michigan Moose Knuckles (“MMK,” partnership of Ryan Harvey and KP) on the brink of an 0-1 round robin start as they took a commanding 17-6 lead. Paul, who was one of the best dressed on the day, came out slaying the Michigan Moose Knuckles and Steve-O calmly puffed his Mandingo cigar as he helped throw cornhole hay-makers at MMK. Ryan and KP finally got their heads together and ripped off a 14-3 run to tie the game at 20 before KP clinched the game by landing his final bag on the board for a 21-20 comeback win.

Caption: Paul, looking like a GQ model, watches Ryan in his Rey Mysterio mask and wonders what the fuck he signed up for.

Style Crew ultimately earned the #8 seed in bracket play, while MMK earned the #1 seed by going undefeated. Again, another example of the depth of competition when the #8 seed should have knocked off the #1 seed.

Back to Podunk Hopscotch Mafia (“PHM”), they used momentum from their win over JV and Barker to go 3-1 during pool play and earn the #2 seed. They looked great, and were a favorite to win the whole damn thing until Adam had to leave the tournament, crippling Mafia’s chances at a championship.

Los Tres Amigos (partnership of Gals, Mike McDonald and Jason S.) also played well during round robin action, going 3-2 overall. Jason was stuck with the last pick of the draft and had only Ace and Gary…errrr, Gals and Mike, as his choice. Los Tres Amigos was motivated to show the field they were a force to be reckoned with, and did so by earning the #4 seed.

One of the more disappointing performances of the day was from Dirty Mike & The Boys (partnership of Coach Mike and Justin), who looked like a very strong team, but landed at only the #6 seed after an up and down round robin display. Coach had his Bud Light Lime and back-handed taint tickler going, while Justin looked accurate and hilarious rocking his sombrero and Selena t-shirt. However, they couldn’t close games after taking leads late into every match.

Caption: Coach Mike watches Justin’s toss, wondering how to get his team back on track.

Bracket seeds based on round robin results were as follows:

#1 – Michigan Moose Knuckles (Ryan & KP) – First place Pool B
#2 – Podunk Hopscotch Mafia (Adam & Rob) – First place Pool A
#3 – Everybody Poops (JV & Barker) – Second place Pool A
#4 – Los Tres Amigos (Mike M., Gals and Jason) – Second place Pool B
#5 – Team Ramp (Paul & Bushie) – Third place Pool A
#6 – Dirty Mike & The Boys (Coach & Justin) – Fourth place Pool A
#7 – Avocado Buttholes (Dan & Matt) – Third place Pool B
#8 – Style Crew (Paul G. & Steve-O) – Fourth place Pool B
#9 – Derby de Mayo (Hugh & Erik) – Fifth place Pool A
#10 – No Show (Tory & Marco) – Fifth place Pool B

TOURNAMENT

The opening round of the tournament went chalk, with all favorites advancing besides #5 seed Team Ramp (partnership of Paul Teich and Bushie) knocking off #4 seed Los Tres Amigos. Sixth seeded Dirty Mike & The Boys couldn’t handle #3 seed Everybody Poops, despite KP’s strong rooting interest for Dirty Mike & The Boys.

Dirty Mike & The Boys continued their slide, facing elimination against Avocado Buttholes (partnership of Dan and Matt). But that’s when it seemed Dirty Mike & The Boys had found their groove, with Justin and Coach Mike plugging the Avocado Buttholes en route to a commanding 18-3 lead. However, not even Dirty Mike & The Boys could keep the Buttholes tamed as Dan shook free with 5 cornholes in 2 rounds to close the deficit. Ultimately, Coach Mike and Justin couldn’t regain their grip on the Avocado Buttholes and their tournament came to a premature end with a devastating loss.

Avocado Buttholes rode momentum from their huge comeback to a quarterfinals appearance before ultimately losing to Podunk Hopscotch Mafia. But their 4-3 overall tournament record as the #7 seed was very impressive.

Caption: Avocado Buttholes in action, eliminating Los Tres Amigos from the tournament.

Team Ramp lost the #1 vs. #5 match in the Winners Bracket to Michigan Moose Knuckles. But when Michigan Moose Knuckles lost to #3 seed Everybody Poops, they dropped to the Losers Bracket and faced a rematch with red hot Team Ramp, who had romped their way to two straight dominant wins in the Losers Bracket. Team Ramp avenged their first loss by beating MMK in the Losers Bracket. Bushie was on fire and Paul, decked out in his rainbow poncho, made timely cornholes to hold off MMK. All the sudden, the #1 seeded MMK had lost two in a row and faced elimination.

After a lot of chalk in the early rounds of the tournament, things had become crazy…#3 Everybody Poops and #5 Team Ramp played for a berth in the Championship match, while the #1, #2 and #4 seeds fought to avoid elimination in the Double Losers Bracket.

Team Ramp gave Everybody Poops all they could handle, but Everybody Poops continued to improve as the match went on and more beers were consumed, winning a close one to advance to the Championship match.

In the Double Losers Bracket, Michigan Moose Knuckles knocked off a tough Podunk Hopscotch Mafia team in the quarterfinals to earn one final rematch with Team Ramp, with the winner advancing to the Championship match. MMK won the rubber match with Team Ramp, eliminating Paul and Bushie after they had a great tournament run.

The Championship match featured #3 Everybody Poops vs. #1 Michigan Moose Knuckles, and MMK had an uphill battle needing three consecutive wins to claim The Cup, while Everybody Poops only had to win one match to take home the trophy.

Once again, Everybody Poops found themselves in an early deficit and had to battle from behind. Ryan and KP did their best to hold off Everybody Poops, but KP’s IPAs caught up to him and he was falling over the edge of the board on nearly half his throws. Barker and JV can handle their booze a lot better, and they were better players on this day, fighting back in match 1 to win 21-17 and claim the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off Tournament Championship.

Caption: Everybody Poops couldn’t be happier to claim The Cup.

Barker and JV played great in the tournament, going 6-0. The Championship meant a lot to both players, but especially to Barker who had finished the prior three tournaments as the runner-up. Both guys are worthy champions, and celebrated the moment in style by drinking from The Cup (see “Championship Drinks” link directly below).

Championship Drinks

They also showed class by giving respect to Michigan Moose Knuckles after the match, which is more than we can say about last year’s Kick-Off champions, Joe Mixon’s Domestic Abuse Hotline (Bert and JG).

Caption: The Champs give respect to the runners-up.

Caption: JV’s championship moment was reminiscent of Michael Jordan with the Larry O’Brien Trophy.

ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM

The 2018 Preseason Kick-Off All-Tournament Team was voted by all players, and the top four players receiving votes were named to the All-Tournament Team. Coming as no surprise, both JV and Barker earned All-Tournament honors and they were joined by KP and Hugh. Hugh’s representation on the All-Tournament Team goes to show how strong of a player he is, earning respect from the rest of the field, despite his team, Derby de Mayo (partnership of Hugh and Erik Wolfe), earning the #9 seed and going 1-3 in tournament play.

Caption: 2018 Preseason Kick-Off All-Tournament Team.

The 2018 season has officially been kicked off, and we did it the right way. Thank you to all 19 guys who played and made this a fantastic day, and a competitive tournament. I hope to have all of you back for future tournaments, as well as the weekly regular season play.

MISCELLANEOUS PICTURES

Enjoy some pics from the rest of the day. Sorry I got hammered and stopped taking them as the day went on.

Caption: 19 deep before the day starts.