BEVERLY HILLS, MICHIGAN – The first two seasons of LEG had the feel of Big Ten football during the 1970’s when two men, Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler, dominated the league, causing pundits to rename the conference, “Big Two, Little Eight.”

LEG had two dominant players, Jeff Garavalia and Nick Winkler, claim all the hardware in 2016 and 2017:

• 2016 LEG MVP (Nick)
• 2016 Postseason Championship (Nick and Ryan Harvey)
• 2017 Preseason Kick-Off Championship (Jeff and Humberto Klein)
• 2017 LEG MVP (Jeff)
• 2017 Postseason Championship (Jeff and Scott Garavalia)

The domination was maddening, and seemed insurmountable for everyone else in the league except for Brent Barker, who’s teams finished runner-up in two of those three championship tournaments.

But the rest of the league kept working at our game, everyone reaching for greater heights to become the newest challenger for The Cup. The thing is, Jeff and Nick made the league better. Their excellence pushed the rest of us to improve, deepening LEG’s talent pool. Iron sharpens iron.

The depth of talent was obvious when 16 players arrived to compete for the 2018 LEG Postseason Tournament. Eight of those 16 players held a 9.9 KPM or higher during the 2018 campaign,  two more players (Bushie and Paul) marched to the semifinals of the 2018 LEG Preseason Kick-Off Tournament as teammates, and Coach Mike is a wily veteran with a killer instinct, capable of going on a run few others can match. The remaining five players were light on experience, but heavy on potential – Crockett, Aaron, Greg and Jack all made their LEG tournament debut, while Dan was ready to build off a quarterfinal appearance in his only other tournament.

Draft Lottery

One of the most entertaining aspects of these tournaments is the Draft Lottery, which has historically not only presented unpredictability in the draft order, but also served as an edge-of-your-seat reveal of hilariously embarrassing pictures.

The Draft Lottery structure rewards the best players throughout the regular season by giving them the best odds at the top pick. Using the 2018 cumulative KPM, the Draft Lottery odds were as follows:

Player	KPM	Lottery Balls	Odds for #1 Pick
Tony	12.5	5	10%
Galz	12.0	5	10%
Nick	11.9	5	10%
KP	11.8	4	8%
Evan	11.8	4	8%
Marco	11.0	4	8%
Barker	10.8	4	8%
JV	9.9	4	8%
Coach Mike	8.6	3	6%
Paul	8.2	3	6%
Bushie	8.0	2	4%
Jack	7.9	2	4%
Aaron	7.5	2	4%
Dan	–	1	2%
Greg	–	1	2%
Crockett	–	1	2%

If the odds held serve, the top 8 players (Tony through JV) would earn picks 1 – 8 and would select their partners from the pool of players 9 – 16 (Coach Mike through Crockett). But this is the LEG Draft Lottery, and nothing goes as planned.

Greg, one of three players with only 1 lottery ball and just 2% odds of the #1 pick, was selected first! Picks 2 – 7 stayed true to the group of players with the best odds, although the order was scattered:

• Barker earned the #2 pick, despite 4^th best odds
• Nick dropped to the #3 pick, despite having the best odds for the #1 pick
• Evan snagged the #4 pick, consistent with his odds
• Tony dropped to the #5 pick, despite having the best odds for the #1 pick
• Marco earned the #6 pick, consistent with his odds
• Galz dropped to the #7 pick, despite having the best odds for the #1 pick
• Paul jumped into the #8 pick, which was two slots higher than projected

The chaotic order, plus the inclusion of Greg and Paul as Lottery Cinderallas left KP and JV out of the Lottery and in the free agent pool. The draft played out as follows:

Pick	Player	Partner Picked	Team Name
1	Greg	KP	“The Comeback Kids”
2	Barker	JV	“Everybody Poops, Again”
3	Nick	Coach Mike	“Chop ‘N Groove”
4	Evan	Jack	“Polish Hammers”
5	Tony	Crockett	“Second Deck”
6	Marco	Dan	“Whiskey Dick”
7	Galz	Bushie	“The Nature Boys”
8	Paul	Aaron	“Put Your Satchel in My Mouth”

Round Robin

Eight teams were split into two pools and round robin play commenced, serving as the basis for seeding the triple elimination tournament. Each team played one another within their pool, in addition to one “crossover” game.

Pool A

1. “Everybody Poops, Again”
2. “The Comeback Kids”
3. “Chop ‘N Groove”
4. “Polish Hammers”

Pool B

1. “Second Deck”
2. “Whiskey Dick”
3. “The Nature Boys”
4. “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth”

“Polish Hammers” made a major statement early, putting all teams on notice when they crushed the defending championship duo of JV and Barker, 21-5 in their round robin matchup. Evan showed incredible poise, despite playing in his first LEG tournament, and put Barker on his heels with cornhole after cornhole. Jack was on a mission to dominate JV, and he did. The result was stunning from “Polish Hammers,” but “Everybody Poops, Again” seemed unaffected. The saavy championship partners cracked another beer, knowing the tournament was a marathon not a sprint, and grinned like a cat toying with a helpless mouse.

They responded like champions usually do, winning a convincing match over “The Comeback Kids,” and closing strong to make their nip-and-tuck match against “Chop ‘N Groove” look easy. They added a win over “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” in their crossover game, finishing 3-1 in round robin.

“Chop ‘N Groove,” comprised of former champion Nick and Coach Mike’s back-handed taint tickler, stiff-armed “Polish Hammers” with a 21-16 win, reminding the young crew that winning in this league ain’t easy. “Chop ‘N Groove” hung tough with “Everybody Poops, Again” before losing late, then rolled against “The Comeback Kids,” 21-12. In their crossover against “Second Deck,” Tony got the best of his friend, Coach Mike, and Crockett surprised Nick with his consistency and timely cornholes. “Chop ‘N Groove” lost their crossover match with “Second Deck,” finishing 2-2 in round robin.

After dropping the match with “Chop ‘N Groove,” “Polish Hammers” closed round robin with a blowout win over Greg and KP, “The Comeback Kids,” and then battled “Whiskey Dick” to a 21-14 victory, finishing 3-1 in round robin.

“The Comeback Kids” did not look good at all during round robin, losing all three matches with Pool A foes. KP was fighting his throw and Greg looked like a nervous rookie playing in his first tournament. In their crossover match against “The Nature Boys,” KP finally found a semblance of his usual game and Greg turned up the heat on Bushie. They pulled a stunning upset, 21-15, and hoped it would springboard them into the knockout round. They finished 1-3 in round robin.

In Pool B, “The Nature Boys” finished with what they considered to be a bad loss against “The Comeback Kids” after trucking all three Pool B opponents. Galz, the 2018 LEG Rookie of the Year, and Bushie were supremely confident after finishing 3-1 in round robin.

“Second Deck” couldn’t hang with “The Nature Boys” in the marquee Pool B showdown, but they rebounded nicely with a blowout win over “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth,” and were clutch in finishing close matches against “Whiskey Dick” and “Chop ‘N Groove.” “Second Deck” finished 3-1 in round robin.

Marco and Dan — aka “Dom” thanks to Marco either not knowing his own partner’s name or refusing to call him by name — named themselves “Whiskey Dick” to pay homage to Dan’s typical Saturday evening. They had an excellent win over “Put Your

Satchel in My Mouth” — but who didn’t? Seriously, they played well in all four round robin matches, but didn’t have enough consistency to close games against “The Nature Boys,” “Second Deck,” or “Polish Hammers,” and finished 1-3 in round robin.

“Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” was an interesting team – Aaron is a very good, promising player, and Paul has made noise in the league, including a semifinal appearance in the 2018 Preseason Kick-Off. However, I still don’t know what the hell “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” means, and Paul drank so much Jack and Coke before the tournament began that he had worse whiskey dick than “Dom.” Needless to say, these teammates faced a severe uphill climb in this tournament and limped to an 0-4 round robin record.

 

After consideration of tie-breakers, the first of which was head-to-head record, followed by total points scored in round robin, the triple elimination tournament seeds were set:

Tournament

The opening round was madness with upsets, which was a theme throughout the tournament.

• #1 “Everybody Poops, Again” handled their business against #8 “Put Your Satchel in My Mouth,” imposing their will in a 21-5 victory
• #7 “Whiskey Dick” got revenge from round robin play when they upset #2 “The Nature Boys.” Marco was fired up and on fire, as he carried his team to a 21-19 win
• #6 “The Comeback Kids” rode momentum from their final round robin win to route “Second Deck” 21-3
• In the 4 vs. 5 matchup, #4 “Polish Hammers” avenged their only round robin loss by beating #5 “Chop ‘N Groove” in another hotly contested match, 21-17

“Put Your Satchel in My Mouth” was in a downward spiral they couldn’t come out of. After losing their fourth straight match to “Everybody Poops, Again” they made a quick tournament exit by losing their next two matches, 21-8 against “Chop ‘N Groove” and 21-14 to “The Nature Boys.” Aaron wished he had won at least one match in his first LEG tournament, while Paul wished the world would stop spinning.

After pulling the biggest upset of the first round, #7 “Whiskey Dick” lost to suddenly surging “The Comeback Kids.” They found themselves in a Losers Bracket thriller against “Chop ‘N Groove” with the head-to-head match-up of Marco vs. Nick being a classic, and “Dom” was the difference in the match, getting the best of Coach Mike to close out the game, 21-19.

With a berth in the quarterfinals on the line, “Whiskey Dick” earned an opportunity for revenge against “Polish Hammers.” Marco started to resemble a player with an 11.0 KPM (his 2018 regular season cumulative KPM) and “Dom” continued to play well, making “Whiskey Dick” an extremely tough team. They pushed “Polish Hammers,” but the young guys didn’t crumble under the pressure. Evan was incredible, responding with cornholes any time “Whiskey Dick” grabbed momentum. Ultimately “Polish Hammers” had the best player in the match (Evan) and handed “Whiskey Dick” a heart-breaking 21-19 defeat.

In the Double Losers Bracket, the matches didn’t get any easier for “Whiskey Dick,” who now had to face “The Nature Boys” in an elimination game, with Galz eager to avenge the first round loss to the drunk wieners. The wildcard was Bushie – could he give Galz enough teammate support to avoid elimination?

Galz has been in tense moments throughout his rookie season, including facing early elimination in the Midseason Singles Tournament before battling back through the Double Losers Bracket to take Nick to a third and decisive game in the championship match. The kid has ice water in his veins, and refused to lose this match. He was on fire, and Bushie also got the best of “Dom” late in the match to help “The Nature Boys” prevail in yet another thriller, 21-19. “Whiskey Dick’s” tournament was done, and while disappointing given how close their last two matches were against some of the best teams in the tournament, Marco and “Dom” kept grinding and improving all day. If only they had found their partnership rhythm earlier…

After being dominated in a first round upset, the #3 seeded “Second Deck” needed to stop the bleeding quickly because they had a date with #2 “The Nature Boys” in the Losers Bracket. Unfortunately for “Second Deck,” there was no tourniquet nearby and hemorrhaging ensued after “The Nature Boys” blew a hole in them, 21-11, dropping them to the Double Losers Bracket.

Against “Chop ‘N Groove,” Crockett was excellent, winning his head-to-head matchup with Nick – unexpected to almost all observers given Nick’s decorated history. But Crockett is a good player who didn’t give a damn about Nick’s prior championships, taking the fight right at him. Tony battled mental struggles much of the tournament thanks to his physical throw not cooperating with his mind’s vision. He did, however, have just enough consistency to equalize Coach Mike’s back-handed taint tickler. “Second Deck” eliminated “Chop ‘N Groove,” 21-17, advancing to play “The Nature Boys” for the third time thanks to “Polish Hammers,” who had just handed “The Nature Boys” their second loss of the tournament, 21-17.

Squaring off against “The Nature Boys” for a third time in an elimination match wasn’t the ideal circumstance for “Second Deck” after going 0/2 against them. For “The Nature Boys,” beating a good team three times in one tournament is never easy, but Galz refuses to lose – the Rookie of the Year is a killer and possesses championship DNA. He willed his team to victory, 21-18, and with the blink of an eye, the #3 seeded “Second Deck” was bounced from the tournament. After looking good in round robin play (3-1 record), the train went off the tracks and they limped to a 1-3 tournament record.

Speaking of disappointing tournaments, “Chop ‘N Groove’s” early exit was unexpected. The veteran combo of Nick and Coach Mike, along with Nick’s championship history had many fearful of playing this team. Finishing with a 1-3 record and an inability to close at the end of games (lost matches 21-17, 21-19, and 21-17) frustrated “Chop ‘N Groove.” Nick sat helplessly under the bracket, hoping this was all a bad dream, while Coach cracked another Bud Light Lime and fucked with Bushie’s playlist.

“Polish Hammers” had a fantastic tournament. Evan and Jack were playing in their first LEG tournament, which is usually a dangerous indicator of an early exit. However, Evan is REALLY good and Jack was poised enough to play within himself, realizing he needed to at least stale-mate his head-to-head matchups and allow Evan to bust games open. The inexperienced duo went 3-1 in round robin, earned the #4 seed and marched to the quarterfinals before being ousted by “The Nature Boys” in a rematch elimination game.

Their three wins were impressive, beating: “Chop ‘N Groove” (a big deal since “Chop ‘N Groove” handed them their only round robin loss), “The Nature Boys,” and “Whiskey Dick.”

Their three losses were all to quality opponents who were semifinalists in this tournament: “Everybody Poops, Again” (21-9), “The Comeback Kids” (21-3), and “The Nature Boys” (21-7). The last two losses were quarterfinal games (Losers Bracket and then Double Losers Bracket), which goes to show experience pays off deep into the tournament. Look for Evan and Jack to contend in 2019 tournaments.

“The Nature Boys” earned the #2 seed, but lost two of their first three matches, including the 21-19 first round upset to #7 “Whiskey Dick,” and a 21-17 Losers Bracket match with “Polish Hammers.” Facing elimination, “The Nature Boys” recorded four straight wins over the likes of “Second Deck,” “Whiskey Dick,” and “Polish Hammers.”

Their four-game win streak culminated in a semifinal showcase with #6 seed, “The Comeback Kids,” who were sent to the Double Losers Bracket thanks to two 21-14 losses to “Everybody Poops, Again.”

Almost all of the participants from the five eliminated teams pulled up a chair and watched court-side as the semifinalists prepared for battle. KP wanted a head-to-head match-up with Galz. He always wants the best player, and he’ll never admit this publicly, but rumor is he’s still butthurt from not closing a 16-13 lead against Galz in an elimination match in the Midseason Singles Tournament (Galz would win 21-16 and later go on to the championship match).

Greg, KP’s partner, caught fire in this tournament and absolutely dominated Bushie. He barely missed the board, and sank cornholes to fend off any attempted run from Bushie. On the other end of the match, KP was as locked in as ever and overwhelmed Galz. “The Comeback Kids” secured a 21-14 victory, sent “The Nature Boys” home – WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, and strolled into the championship match.

The Championship – “Everybody Poops, Again” vs. “The Comeback Kids”

While seven other teams scrapped and clawed amongst one another to stay in the tournament, “Everybody Poops, Again” barely hit a speed bump on their way to the championship. Winners of four straight convincing matches, including two against “The Comeback Kids,” JV and Barker were heavy Vegas favorites to win their second straight LEG tournament.

KP was no stranger to this feeling – he found himself in the championship match for the third straight tournament, and in the previous two matches he also faced an undefeated opponent, requiring three consecutive wins to claim The Cup, while his opponent only had to win one match to take home the trophy. In both previous matches, the daunting task of winning three straight was too much to overcome and KP’s teams failed to win even one match.

Maybe it was the adrenaline from getting the Galz “monkey” off his back, or maybe this was finally KP’s turn to claim The Cup. Whatever the case, KP was confident – Barker and JV approached KP and Greg with a gesture of sportsmanship before the match and KP blew them off, focusing instead on firing Greg up, claiming, “We are going to win this f*cking thing!” While walking to his end of the court to battle JV head-to-head, KP doubled down and told the entire audience, “We’re winning this thing.”

In match 1, the moment certainly didn’t appear to be too big for Greg or KP. They extended their championship hopes with a convincing 21-15 victory. KP turned to the audience, “I told you!” and turned to JV, “We’re coming. Get ready. We’re coming.”

Barker and JV only needed one win to claim The Cup. They’ve navigated these championship waters before, as partners. Co-captains, steadying themselves with every gulp of glorious booze.

Greg opened match 2 with a big eight-point round against Barker, and KP rode the momentum from his partner to outscore JV early. Don’t look now, but “The Comeback Kids” were on the cusp of winning match 2 and forcing a third and final match – they were up 18-13 and for the first time ever, JV and Barker were a bit shaken.

JV took the reins, stared over at KP, as if to alert him that something special was going to happen. KP felt the stare, but locked in on the hole at the other end of the court.

KP threw first – on the board.

JV followed – cornhole.

KP’s second throw – on the board.

JV’s second throw – cornhole.

KP’s third attempt – on the board.

JV’s third throw – on the board.

“Ok,” KP thought, “He’s up 7-3. Drain a cornhole, limit the damage and let Greg win this thing.”

KP’s final throw – on the board.

JV focused, waggled an extra time, and launched – CORNHOLE!

Three cornholes and a 10-point round in such a clutch moment. JV completely flipped the scrip of match 2, giving his squad a 19-18 lead.

Barker knew not to squander the momentum and immediately closed the match by outscoring Greg, winning the match 21-18 for “Everybody Poops, Again.”

Greg and KP were devastated, still in disbelief. They were so close to winning match 2 and applying so much pressure to “Everybody Poops, Again.” Barker and JV were just too difficult to handle, especially when they had a three game cushion to work with.

Barker and JV capped the 2018 season as end-to-end champions, winning the Preseason Kick-Off Tournament and Postseason Tournament, both as partners. They join Jeff Garavalia as the only players to claim two titles in the same season.

All-Tournament Team

The 2018 Postseason All-Tournament Team was voted by all players, and the top four players receiving votes were named to the All-Tournament Team. Coming as no surprise, both JV and Barker earned All-Tournament honors, with JV earning MVP – likely based on his 10-point round against KP in the championship. They were joined by KP and Galz, capping an excellent debut season for Galz.